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My Obese Daughter and My Granddaughters

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Today I sent the below blog post to my 40 year old daughter who lives about 400 miles away. She is morbidly obese. Her husband is a diabetic obese man. Her 22 year old daughter is morbidly obese. My sweet 10 year old granddaughter weighs 160 lbs. How uncomfortable she must feel entering the 6th grade weighing so much and being so unhealthy. This summer she said to me, "Grandma, I won't ever be able to wear a bikini because of my stretch marks." The stretch marks extend on her torso from her armpits to her groin. It broke my heart.

I pray my daughter will finally do something to help herself, her husband and her daughters.
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From: Our Weight. Our Kids. Their Weight.
https://kimbensen.com/viewblog.php?pid=O
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“I cringed as I heard my mother’s quick steps heading down the rickety wooden stairs to the basement. I was in for it now. The basement was where we kept the spare freezer. The spare freezer was where mom kept boxes of Ring Dings, Twinkies, Funny Bones, and Sara Lee Coffee Cakes (as well as the extra staples). I knew what was coming next.

“Kimberly! May I see you please?” I could hear the frustration in her voice. For the past few weeks I had been carefully opening one side of each box and gingerly sliding out several packages before repositioning the boxes back with the open ends facing inward. I knew eventually she would run out of treats upstairs and head to the basement, discovering my theft. I was in junior high and couldn’t seem to stop eating. Why did I keep doing it? What was the matter with me?”

This is the opening chapter of my book, Finally Thin! As you can see, my focus on food began well before my adult years. At that time in my life I wasn’t as thin as I would have liked, but I wasn’t obese either. I was a cheerleader and loved everything athletic – but I also loved food. That was just the beginning of a life-long battle which brought me years of embarrassment, frustration, tears, and self-loathing. Statistically, I was part of a much smaller minority back then, but not any longer.

A whopping 32% of all American children now carry more pounds than they should, up from about 5% in the 1960s. A staggering 90% of overweight kids already have at least one avoidable risk factor for heart disease, such as high cholesterol or hypertension. Type 2 diabetes is now being diagnosed in teens as young as 15. Health experts warn that the current generation of children may be the first in American history to have a shorter life expectancy than their parents.

In the age of the 64-oz. soda and the 1,200-calorie burger, it's no surprise how we have gotten here. And today, not only are our kids consuming far more calories than they can possibly use, but they're also doing less and less with them. After a largely inactive day at school, kids spend an average of three more inactive hours in front of a TV, video game, or computer.

The fact is, the battle of the bulge that was once joked about as a middle aged woman’s nightmare has now become the nightmare of our youth. pizza parlor birthday parties, vending machines in schools, and food court hang-outs are now more a part of our kids lives than the once cherished President’s Fitness Award and three times weekly gym classes. Yes, budget cuts have hit below (or more appropriately, at) our kids beltlines.

But how do we help our children, especially when we have a hard enough time helping ourselves? Yes, some of their issues are brought on by an overweight culture of fast food and sedentary living, but sadly the struggles of the parents play an even larger role. We are handing our poor habits and unhealthy choices down to the next generation.

For a long time I fought the motherhood guilt that so many are familiar with. The feeling that comes when you know you've unwillingly hurt your children. Believe it or not ... GUILT WEIGHS MORE THAN FAT! And berating ourselves for it only worsens the end result.

My goal as a mom these days is to give my kids all the tools I can to help them live a healthy lifestyle, teaching them how to read a nutrition label, explaining the difference between a serving size and a portion size, and making simple substitutions of lower fat products in our home. And, on the occasions when we do hit the drive-thru, what better gift can we give our kids than showing them that healthier ordering consists of a fruit parfait or apple slices to go with their single burgers rather than supersized meals with fries?! The truth is, even our non-overweight children won't be young OR skinny OR active forever, but healthy habits can last a lifetime.

Helping our kids participate in, understand, and take ownership of their own good health at age appropriate levels is one of our jobs as parents. And working on ourselves ... showing them that even though we have something so difficult to overcome, we will NOT give up; showing them that we care about our own bodies and we CAN defeat the obesity monster … well, that is the best gift of all we can give. Even though I gave my older ones some terrible habits (sorry guys), I've also shown them that it is possible to turn your life around – at any age.

Focusing on yourself, taking time for YOU, will not only benefit your own good health, but can trickle down for generations to come. Since our kids truly are a chip off the old block, we might as well make sure it’s a healthy block."

I apologize if I broke the blog posting rules. This message was important to me.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NELLIEC 8/27/2014 3:17PM

    I pray there will be changes for better health in your family!

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Don't Quit

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

I liked this poem that I read on Willow49s SparkPage:

Don't Quit

When you've eaten too much and you can't write it down,
And you feel like the biggest failure in town.
When you want to give up just because you gave in,
and forget all about being healthy and thin.
So What! You went over your points a bit,
It's your next move that counts . . . So don't you quit!
It's a moment of truth, it's an attitude change.
It's learning the skills to get back in your range.
It's telling yourself, "You've done great up 'til now.
You can take on this challenge and beat it somehow."
It's part of your journey toward reaching your goal.
You're still gonna make it, just stay in control
To stumble and fall is not a disgrace,
if you summon the will to get back in the race.
But, often the strugglers, when losing their grip,
Just throw in the towel and continue to slip.
And learn too late when the damage is done,
that the race wasn't over . . . they still could have won.
Lifestyle change can be awkward and slow,
but facing each challenge will help you to grow.
Success is failure turned inside out,
the silver tint in a cloud of doubt.
When you're pushed to the brink, just refuse to submit.
If you bite it, you write it . . . But don't you quit!

Author Unknown

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JAYCEE77 2/24/2010 10:45AM

    I love this poem. Thank you!

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LETMEBME 2/23/2010 4:57PM

    Wow! Just what I needed to read today to get me inspired and motivated. I was so stressed out lately because of the car trouble that I didn't dedicate as much time to exercise as I should have, and also didn't eat as well as I needed to. But that's OK - I CAN go to the gym, if not tonight then tomorrow morning. I CAN drink all 8 glasses of water even today, I CAN stop grabbing for the candy that's sitting in a bowl in front of me - Yes, I can stop eating those Crunch candy bars just because I feel sorry for myself. I NEED to get right back at exercising and eating healthy. Thanks a lot for posting this poem and reminding me of all that :)

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Football is fattening!

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Okay, I have ascertained that both grandchildren and Saints/LSU football are fattening! I can readily admit that it has more to do with me than them! But I chose not to live without either so I will have to find a way of mitigating the impact on my nutrition that they have on me! I should also add that grandchldren are a positive impact on my activity level where as football.....not so much! I am a work in progress. I do better now than in the past, and will do better in the future than I do now. PTL!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DIXIE_AMAZON 1/19/2010 10:09AM

    I totally agree. We can do it.

Geaux Saints!

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VICIOUS421 1/17/2010 9:44PM

    You will do great and if you make treats for the grand kids and football check out the Sparkpeople recipes they have many lower calorie treats that your grand kids will love and you can eat without hurting your calories!!!!
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JMCGEESTER 1/17/2010 6:51PM

  I can certainly understand where football and its tailgating issues can wreak havoc on a diet plan. I guess the key is to have your own snacks pre-measured before the game and once they are gone, THEY ARE GONE. And make sure that our SAINTS are winning so that we can jump and shout and burn everything off. GEAUX SAINTS ALL THE WAY.

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This Is Dedicated to My Mom

Thursday, January 07, 2010

My Mom died last June. The past 6 months have been very hard. I managed to continue to lose weight until about mid-October at which time I stopped food tracking. Big Mistake!!!!Big!!! I have managed to regain all of the pounds I lost since my Mom died. I know she is not happy about this. I have resumed food tracking, and I'm dedicating the remainder of my weight loss journey to my Mom, Wanda Martin! One of the best ladies in God's Kingdom!

Good news is I still lost 40 pounds in 2009!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

VICIOUS421 1/17/2010 9:41PM

    I am sorry about your loss. I gained a lot of weight when my dad and step dad passed away. Food becomes a friend and a comfort to us though we know it shouldn't. I started Sparks awhile after my step dad passed and lost 30 pounds last year. A new year and a new beginning so I am striving to lose 5 pounds a month. That will be 60 pounds in 1 year and put me below 200 for the first time in a very long time! I hope I can do this though this first month I am disappointed in myself so far.
I know that we can do this!
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BIGT_56 1/17/2010 8:03PM

    When we lose our moms, we lose our biggest fan. They love us big and they love us small, they love us unconditionally!
I am sure your mom is looking down from heaven, smiling, and saying well done on the 40 lbs. gone.

Terrie

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DONNAORLENE 1/7/2010 6:48PM

    Don't be so hard on yourself! Your Mom may not be happy about it, but I know she's still your biggest fan and she's up there rooting you on to continue your journey! And your Mom knows you will be successful because your strength comes from the same place hers does. I'll be out here rooting for you too and you know that I keep you in my prayers. So hang in there and be good to yourself. And remember "This too shall pass." Take care.
Your sister in Christ,
Donna
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"..to give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning,the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness, that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He might be glorified.: Isaiah 61:3

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JOSI1959 1/7/2010 4:13PM

    I'm sorry about the loss of your mom, I believe times like this we turn to food for comfort. You managed to take the weight off before and you can do it again! Hang in there.

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Sabotage!

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Every Christmas my DH loves to buy the stocking stuffers. Every year I tell him, "Don't get me anything with sugar in it!" Every year he comes home with Baby Ruths, Butterfingers, Little Debbie Oatmeal Cakes, etc, etc. This year he also put some packets of instant oatmeal in my stocking. Perhaps he was seeking redemption for his aforementioned sins. So now I am facing down the sugary treats that I know are poison for me! Thanks a lot, DH! I guess I will just pitch a few of them in the garbage can daily until they are gone. He will think I ate them. I will feel better for not having eaten them! Shhhhh, don't tell!!!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DONNAORLENE 12/28/2009 12:18AM

    Sounds like a plan to me! I don't know about you, but it's going to be tough enough getting back on track as it is without bad goodies lying around! But at least he's thinking of you and of course you can always eat the oatmeal and be thankful! LOL! Take care of yourself and have a Happy New Year!
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Donna

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