Thursday, July 01, 2010
Another new month and to me another new opportunity to achieve, to love, to live. A few days ago I learned that my brother-in-law's very fit family is joining us for family reunion at our hotel retreat later this month. Granted, I'm the only fat one of this bunch, but because I am I dread showing my body off in a swimsuit to the extended crowd. I had so hoped it would just be my husband, me and our kids and their families. I so want to cuddle the little ones so selfishly. I don't want to share. Shame on me! I finally shook off the fear of swim suit shame as I remembered that it will be wonderful to have so much family together. My brother-in-law is in a huge remodeling mess at home and his wife and kids relish the chance to stay at the 5-star hotel near my mother-in-law's house. So, not only will I thoroughly enjoy the reunion lunch party that will include more than 30 of us, I will also enjoy thoroughly the pool play with whomever can make if over to join in the fun.
I still hope to lose a few pounds in the next couple of weeks but realistically that won't make me look all that much better in my tankini. I have a long way to go to get to my goal. But, my immediate goal is to enjoy each day and each relationship along the way. I don't want to waste any more time worrying about what others will think about my appearance. I've been married 37 year, have a wonderful family, have weathered many health and other storms and by the grace of God, I'm still here! It's going to be a great month!
Monday, June 28, 2010
My six month old granddaughter has already had a monumentally rough journey from which I'm learning every day.
1. She wanted to be born far too early, but was stopped by shots resulting in her head being fused where it should not have been. Lesson: God knew the right time, but man screwed it up. Listen to, trust, and obey God.
2. Ziva had very serious surgery to open her skull and add to it with spacers and anchors and more. She survived. Lesson: The prayers of many and the skills of many can come together in multitudes of blessings. We humans have a very strong drive for survival.
3. Tiny Ziva is just not growing. The most recent diagnosis is "Failure to Thrive". My daughter and son-in-law are force feeding all they can get into her. She saw her doctor last week and must go for weigh in again this week. Lesson: Even the tiniest among us can struggle with weight. As much as I would love to give her (and our daughter for that matter) some of my extra pounds, that's not possible. Patience is hard. Tick, tick, tick.
4. We are arranging for our family to get together in July - a long weekend fly away destination for us all to support and love one another close up and personal. Ziva gets to meet her cousins, great grandmas, aunts and uncles. Lesson: Praise God for resources to provide for flights, hotel rooms, rental cars and food for the 10 of us. He provides in abundance.
5. Her too tight hips won't let her sit up but she is getting around well with her military crawl. Lesson: We are resourceful. No matter the struggle there is an answer somewhere, somehow, some day.
6. Despite her pain, joy bubbles out from her in those amazing full body giggles. She 'talks' practically non-stop. She loves to watch every move her brothers, her mom and her dad make. Lesson: We can always find something to be glad about. If we will only look beyond our present struggles we will find the joy.
Today I wish all of you amazing joy and full body giggles!
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
O.k. so here I am not losing weight but not really gaining either. I keep plugging away at the exercise and diet lifestyle and most days I feel pretty good about the day. I have noticed that my life is taking on all sorts of unexpected challenges. I'm working at downsizing my home life by discarding a lot of things I've held onto for no really good reason. I am gaining some big boxes and bags full of stuff and hope to have the charity truck here in the next week or two. Some of the progress seems so slow but other days seem to net some more rapid results . For example, I cleaned out, reorganized and filled new storage containers in my clothes closet a few days ago. When I feel like I'm not accomplishing much I can stand in front of that and admire my handiwork. That inspires me to keep going on the current project. Hopefully, I can make a really big dent in this really big house before my daughter's family arrives with a U-Haul full of stuff the middle of July. Yes, they are moving back in for the third (and last) time. In the next few weeks I'll share the progress related to cleaning this house, finding another place to live, remodeling that place as needed before moving in, welcoming the kids before school starts , and, yes, either joining a gym near our new home or finding a condo that has one built into the complex. Now, if I can just remember what it is I'm supposed to be doing now...
Friday, June 18, 2010
So, I heard this wonderful motivational speech about living each day so that at its end I would have no regrets. As so often happens, the moment I focussed on what I didn't want to do or eat or think or watch or play - those are exactly the things that captured my attention the most. So, here I am at the end of the week and I have many regrets. In fact, each day I ended up with a few. However, it hasn't been all tears and pity party time. I also looked back each day to some positives. I got in a lot of treadmill time and some time with my stability ball, weights and general bits of exercise amid my daily activities. I also stayed within my calorie range on all but two days - one day was a bit high and one a bit low. By this morning I had lost one of the three pounds that I'd gained over the previous few weeks. So, I think I may be getting on track. I still struggle with balancing exercise and calories. But, thanks to Spark I'm tracking everything and that makes it all real for me. I joined the Slowest Loser team since I think his blogs are hilarious and so encouraging. So many teams have brought such encouragement my way. Each time I read an encouraging word from one of you I get all energized once again and so it goes. I am determined to begin each week with renewed resolve. I know that eventually I will be where I want to be - the healthiest me I can be! I wonder if there will be fewer regrets in the days and weeks to come???
Sunday, June 13, 2010
O.k., so here I am beginning another new week. As with most of my "new" beginnings I'm starting out with great anticipation and enthusiasm. I recall the past couple of weeks with mixed emotions. I did try out a gym and worked pretty hard while a week-long member. I also fit in quite a few other challenges along the way. I noticed that while working out alongside others I did get a mental boost, I did push myself harder, I did feel stronger even after those first four trips to the gym. So, armed with that post gym glow (sweat), a gym bag that's at least 20 years old, and workout clothes that were out of style some years ago...I contemplate this week just beginning. I've begun by mentally charting a course that includes several obligations, but one that also leaves substantial chunks of time that I can dedicate to me. If the past two weeks are any indication, I'm convinced that I will make some progress and that finally that scale will reflect what I'm already sensing in this aging body.
I heard a host of motivational speakers last week and one that keeps popping back to mind is Apolo Anton Ohno's remarks about his 'no regrets' training days. He trained and lived each day so that at the end of each day he had no regrets. He had eaten the right things, done the right workouts, lived the right life to get him back to the Olympics and to his history making performance last February. (closest I could find to short track emoticon)
I will never be an olympic athlete, but I certainly can set goals and try to meet the end of the day with a sense of no regrets. So, that is my goal for this week. I want to have no regrets as I lay down to sleep -- no regrets about what I ate, about what I drank, about what I accomplished within my home and without, about how I exercised. I hope others might join me in this endeavor. Who knows, with a little encouragement and success I might be brave enough to issue a real challenge out there on the message boards next week.
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