Tuesday, June 01, 2010
It's June! How can that be? Wasn't I supposed to be skinny enough by now to put on a swim suit or a pair of shorts without all those jiggly bits flapping about? Haven't I thought this same thing at the beginning of a lot of Junes? So true, so true. However, this one is bound to be different. This time I've got such amazing support here at Spark and now even my sweet husband is coming around. I want to join a gym where I can swim a bit without being too noticed, where I can cycle a few miles without worrying that I will fall off in the middle of a road somewhere, where I can work this body at the rate it can do and not try to keep up with those healthy, strong young or not-so-young things. Even though I'm often awkward and slow due to multiple sclerosis, this year I'm not letting myself off the hook so easily. I may crash a few times, but I'll also get up over and over again. This time I won't let anyone tell me what I should or should not be doing. There was a time when my neurologist said to rest, rest, rest. Those days are long past. Now we know that exercise can be very helpful in keeping a body moving and as strong as possible wherever I might find myself in that nasty disease process. Too bad we didn't know back then, what we know now. I sure wasted a lot of time 'resting'. No more. Not today, anyway. There will be days or perhaps more than days that I will have to back off, but I refuse to be defeated this time around. Each time my body rebels, I'll do what has to be done to get it able to get going again. Now, my plan is to find the right gym for me before this week is out. That's my plan and I plan to stick to it. What's your plan this week? We are all different. We can't expect to fit into the same mold as someone else no matter how much we might want to do so. Let's just keep encouraging one another to be the best us we can be each and every day. That way, perhaps we won't face another summer of discouragement and disappointment. We are Sparks...hear us roar!!!
Thursday, May 27, 2010
After reading another Spark blog I started recalling my own childhood influences. My mom liked to cook and bake. We were a meat and potatoes kind of family - lots of beef and chicken. We also grew most of our own produce. We had apples, plums, lemons, quinces, loquats, persimmons, walnuts, berries, squash, corn, green beans, melons and probably lots of other things that don't come to mind right now. I loved to garden with my dad - he focussed on the fruits and veggies. I also helped my mom with all of her flowers. I never thought about how many calories we burned in those gardens. The work was just a part of who we were. So, it was ironic that my mom continually told me she didn't think exercise was important and that she didn't care if I did poorly in P.E. as long as I got my A's and B's in the rest of my classes. Cleaning our plates was expected. And that always included desserts. I can remember a time when I was trying desperately to lose a few pounds and didn't want dessert. That night she got so mad that she took the whole thing and threw it in the garbage. We all sat there dumbfounded. I never refused her sweets again. I learned to starve myself all day when she couldn't see and then eat all that she set before me in the evening. It was kind of a weird way to live, but it worked for me at the time. And so began my lifelong food issues. Through the years my weight has fluctuated quite a lot. Yet, my roots continue to influence me for both good and bad. I still love fresh fruits and vegetables. So, now that summer is coming I am eager for the farmers' markets to open. I still have trouble leaving food on my plate, but I've learned to better manage that one. I serve myself now so can serve myself reasonably. I also make an effort to leave at least a bite or two uneaten as I train myself that it isn't a sin to leave something. When my husband and I go out (rarely) we usually order one meal and share it. If we don't do that, we always bring home at least half. Or, if it wasn't that yummy we sometimes just leave what's left.
I took up running for fun in junior high and added tennis in high school. I always loved to swim but that has always been less accessible to me. I belonged to a gym for a few years before the MS made it difficult to do anything for a few years. Now I'm thinking of joining a gym for the summer. I have a few things here to use (treadmill, stability ball, bands, weights), but I would enjoy being with other women while I can. I now understand that my parents really got a lot of exercise just by managing home and gardens. My mom never understood this connection so thought exercise was useless. She is now 96 years old. She didn't get to that age by sitting and eating cookies all day long. Weight was never an issue for her. She was blessed with good genes and an ability to naturally manage her portions regardless of what she ate. I was adopted and when I met my birth parents as a 30 something it was interesting to see that they had both struggled with weight issues forever. My birth mom died the day before her 75th birthday. My dad struggles with many health issues, but is now 80 years old. Hmmm. Yes, environment is important. Yes, genetics count. But, I know we can reach our goals. For me it includes finding the right motivation each and every day of my life. I won't live in the past. I want to be here for a long and healthy future! I thank all my Spark friends for your encouragement and support. Have a healthy day!
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Yuck! I ate some of the left over pizza from Chuck E. Cheese. Now maybe that wouldn't be an awful thing, but since I've now done that for the past three days it is pretty awful. I just can't bring myself to throw away perfectly good food, even when it's not so perfectly good for me. Does that make me a human garbage can? I think it is true.
Let me see what have a discarded into me these past few weeks that would have served me better to to into the actual trash can? Besides the pizza there was that order of fries the grand kids didn't eat, that last scoop of ice cream that was already suffering from a bit of freezer burn, those three little packages of cookies that nobody else wanted, that last bit of whipped cream, that pub mix snack stuff that nobody else likes, and those pieces of garlic bread that had already gotten a little hard to chew. Yes, I do believe I am a human garbage can.
As of this moment I resolve to no longer play that role for my family. Far better to throw it out than eat it up. Hooray, a new way to take care of me.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Our daughter's family left early this morning for home. The baby is recovering from her brain surgery and we are so thankful that she is doing as well as she is. Her brothers got her giggling yesterday. That sound was music to our ears. It was exactly two weeks since her surgery and we'd all missed that overflowing joy that bubbles from those little babies. Such a blessing.
Today I feel more tired than I can remember. I'm trying to get over the yucky 'bug' our grandsons brought with them. My sweet husband and I have both been on antibiotics. I think mine has been helping, but he has continued to get worse. He got in to see his doctor yesterday and now has full blown pneumonia. So, a change in drugs to one that is equivalent to an I.V. antibiotic. If he doesn't improve significantly in the next day or so, he will likely go into the hospital. Still, here he is helping to put our house back together after all the company these past three weeks. He does rest a lot between the little jobs. His doctor says going to bed is not what he needs to keep that fluid from continuing to pool in his lungs. Our bodies are pretty miraculous. I feel confident he will turn the corner soon and knowing him he probably will be back at work on Monday. I think he does so well in part because he keeps himself in such good shape. Rarely does a day go by that he doesn't get to the gym to lift weights, run, bicycle or some combination. Even though he has two ruptured disks he somehow manages to keep going. He is able to fight through the pain and keep himself in the best shape possible. He is a great inspiration to me.
As I see my husband struggle with the pneumonia and still keep going, it convicts me to get myself going as well. So even though the house if finally quiet once again and even though I'm exhausted, I intend to buckle down and drink enough water, eat the right calories and keep this body in motion.
Time to buckle down. Time to get up from this computer and log some steps. I'll never have another today to do what I know I need to do.
It is a good day here. I hope it is a great day at your house!
Thursday, May 20, 2010
O.k. so here I am wondering once more just why it is that the scale refuses to budge. As I review the food logs I feel pretty proud of myself. I stay pretty much below the target calories. Then I look more closely at the reports and a big oops glares back. I've been consistently under my target calories for sometime....in fact, pretty much the time I've been stuck. The other I realize is that I've been neglecting my water intake. Though I doubt I'm seriously dehydrated, clearly I'm not taking in enough to wash away all that yucky stuff. Granted, my mind has been filled to overflowing with other issues of life, but I'm determined to boost my health up somewhere near the top of my to do list. After all, if I want to be useful to others, I'd better make sure I'll be around to be of use.
So, chug, chug, chug, bottoms up everyone!
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