Thursday, March 04, 2010
Well, since I celebrated 37 years of marriage yesterday, I see today as another new year. There have been so many ups and downs, but we have so very much to be thankful for - two beautiful children, two wonderful children-in-law, four adorable grandchildren. After over 30 years with one company, my dear husband just changed jobs to take advantage of his early years of military service. Since that change just happened in the last month - leaving one position, taking a couple weeks off, and starting the new one - we are still sorting it all out. But, my weight has been more challenging and a constant one at that. From average weight at wedding, to too much when I delivered our son, to too light after our daughter was born, too much when our son got married, too light after breast cancer treatment and our daughter's wedding, too heavy after rounds of steroids for multiple sclerosis....to the present. I gained the last time last year in sync with treatments and frustrations so I'm in yet another new beginning. I gained 10 pounds, but have now lost 11 so my progress looks like I only lost one pound on my chart for Spark People.
I suspect others have similar stories of ups and downs of life. We all do. Though it is hard getting back on track, it is what I do. It is what I always do. It is my hope and prayer that this time I will stay on that track. But, in life we never know what might be around that next corner. We have a new granddaughter who needs major surgery in a couple of months. The docs will remove a 2 inch swath of her skull from ear to ear to make room for her brain to grow. They will also move her forehead forward and perhaps adjust her eye sockets. All this for a little person who will be just under 5 months old at the time. Such a doll. Such a sweetheart. So much to have ahead of her. As I try to keep my daughter as calm as possible through this most trying time, I also try even harder to keep my diet and exercise on track to be the strongest I can possibly be. I will care for her other two children during and after the surgery. They can be a handful so I feel so blessed to have such encouragement from Spark People to keep my days on that track.
Yes, it is a new year. There is so much promise and potential. I know some of the bumps ahead, but I don't know the outcomes. I only know that I want to be the best me I can be for whatever might be out there on that big horizon!
Friday, February 26, 2010
I'm helping with a lady recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's. I've known for about 2 years that her dementia was progressing. Now she needs someone to come in four hours each day so she is not alone and remembers to eat. She doesn't understand why people are visiting every day. I tried to explain and she seemed to understand. Yet, I wonder how many others have also explained.
Sometimes trying to lose weight is like this. I forget what I'm trying to do and i make a mistake. Just like my friend, I try again and again. Others might remind me, too. For that I am ever thankful. Buddies are beautiful! My husband is my biggest fan. As i grow older I know it may be that I will someday need similar help as my friend. I hope someone will reach out to me, too. I hope I can always step outside of myself and my struggles to help others around me. As I help someone today, I am so encouraged and blessed through the experience. And a bonus is that while I assist a friend or loved one or even a relative stranger, I am not at that time eating mindlessly as I might do on my own. Win, win, win!
Thursday, February 25, 2010
My community offered a challenge to maintain weight between Thanksgiving and New Year's. I signed up as I had slipped terribly. I had gained 10 pounds over the previous six months or so. Between needing an adjustment to my thyroid medication and having to take a course of steroids for my multiple sclerosis, I gave in to extra hunger and a little bit of depression. However, once I took on the challenge I not only didn't gain weight, but I actually lost a few pounds during that season - probably for the first time of all the holiday seasons I've eaten my way through. When my youngest grand child was born in mid December with a badly fused skull I thought I might drift back into my negative eating habits. But, with her struggles and major surgery to reconstruct much of her head looming on the horizon for early May, I redoubled my efforts to better take care of my own health. I've been so blessed to spend time helping my daughter with this darling little baby, her third child, while my daughter managed her household, held a grand re-opening for the martial arts dojo they recently took over, and supported her though many challenges as her neurologist husband had to travel to take boards pre-test course and then the oral boards (which he passed, awesome!). Since this little family lives in another state it can be challenging to be there as much as needed, but I help whenever possible for a week or so at a time. But, even with being away from my home, I was able to watch my diet and certainly got more exercise at her house that at mine. I think I may have finally gotten to a point where I can eat to live rather than live to eat. I don't mind not finishing every bit and I don't cringe as much when I throw out some of the food. I've been keeping a food diary in a little notebook to remind me where I am throughout the day should I really think about eating something out of boredom, stress, or social event pressure. When I think of my tiny granddaughter and the fact that she might not even survive through her first year, I remember how very precious life is. It is such a gift to witness each new day. To honor this little one, who so far has been such a fighter, I recommit myself as often as I need to. I will take good care of myself so I can be a grandma who can make her proud. I look forward to tea parties, dress up days, cookie baking, ballet, tae kwon do competitions, piano recitals and/or whatever else her future might hold. I want to be a part of it all.
Oh, yes, my community has just put out another challenge that will take me through summer. I think I will register for this one as well. We will walk together one evening each week - in a different park around our city. I may not be in town for all the walks, but when I am I know I will enjoy the company as much as the beauty and the exercise. Keep those challenges coming from any source that makes sense!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Here I am starting over yet again and at yet a higher weight. I know I can get on track, but it is so very frustrating for me. The MS keeps me from exercising as much as I want and so even though eating is under control I can't seem to get my metabolism revved up. I know there is no magic pill, but this is ridiculous. We are heading into the holidays and I know that will make things even more difficult. I hope everyone out there is doing much better than I am at his point/
Monday, April 13, 2009
Our daughter's family came and left and I managed to eat and drink too many empty calories over the past four days. Now, I find myself a bit depressed and a lot discouraged. I know I can get myself back on track, but I also know that for me the lack of success just keeps feeding on itself as I fall deeper and deeper. I pray I can climb back up to where I can feel the warm sunshine of encouragement back upon me. Perhaps not today, perhapst not even tomorrow, but I suspect that one day soon I will be strong enough to move forward in a meaningful way. Meanwhile, I will keep walking and keep trying not to fall any further into this pit of discouragment and defeat. Sometimes it seems as though I am drowning in quicksand...glub, glub.
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