Thursday, February 25, 2010
My community offered a challenge to maintain weight between Thanksgiving and New Year's. I signed up as I had slipped terribly. I had gained 10 pounds over the previous six months or so. Between needing an adjustment to my thyroid medication and having to take a course of steroids for my multiple sclerosis, I gave in to extra hunger and a little bit of depression. However, once I took on the challenge I not only didn't gain weight, but I actually lost a few pounds during that season - probably for the first time of all the holiday seasons I've eaten my way through. When my youngest grand child was born in mid December with a badly fused skull I thought I might drift back into my negative eating habits. But, with her struggles and major surgery to reconstruct much of her head looming on the horizon for early May, I redoubled my efforts to better take care of my own health. I've been so blessed to spend time helping my daughter with this darling little baby, her third child, while my daughter managed her household, held a grand re-opening for the martial arts dojo they recently took over, and supported her though many challenges as her neurologist husband had to travel to take boards pre-test course and then the oral boards (which he passed, awesome!). Since this little family lives in another state it can be challenging to be there as much as needed, but I help whenever possible for a week or so at a time. But, even with being away from my home, I was able to watch my diet and certainly got more exercise at her house that at mine. I think I may have finally gotten to a point where I can eat to live rather than live to eat. I don't mind not finishing every bit and I don't cringe as much when I throw out some of the food. I've been keeping a food diary in a little notebook to remind me where I am throughout the day should I really think about eating something out of boredom, stress, or social event pressure. When I think of my tiny granddaughter and the fact that she might not even survive through her first year, I remember how very precious life is. It is such a gift to witness each new day. To honor this little one, who so far has been such a fighter, I recommit myself as often as I need to. I will take good care of myself so I can be a grandma who can make her proud. I look forward to tea parties, dress up days, cookie baking, ballet, tae kwon do competitions, piano recitals and/or whatever else her future might hold. I want to be a part of it all.
Oh, yes, my community has just put out another challenge that will take me through summer. I think I will register for this one as well. We will walk together one evening each week - in a different park around our city. I may not be in town for all the walks, but when I am I know I will enjoy the company as much as the beauty and the exercise. Keep those challenges coming from any source that makes sense!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Here I am starting over yet again and at yet a higher weight. I know I can get on track, but it is so very frustrating for me. The MS keeps me from exercising as much as I want and so even though eating is under control I can't seem to get my metabolism revved up. I know there is no magic pill, but this is ridiculous. We are heading into the holidays and I know that will make things even more difficult. I hope everyone out there is doing much better than I am at his point/
Monday, April 13, 2009
Our daughter's family came and left and I managed to eat and drink too many empty calories over the past four days. Now, I find myself a bit depressed and a lot discouraged. I know I can get myself back on track, but I also know that for me the lack of success just keeps feeding on itself as I fall deeper and deeper. I pray I can climb back up to where I can feel the warm sunshine of encouragement back upon me. Perhaps not today, perhapst not even tomorrow, but I suspect that one day soon I will be strong enough to move forward in a meaningful way. Meanwhile, I will keep walking and keep trying not to fall any further into this pit of discouragment and defeat. Sometimes it seems as though I am drowning in quicksand...glub, glub.
Thursday, April 09, 2009
It seems that every time I start to get on track something interferes. The latest struggles include an exacerbation of my multiple sclerosis. The pain is not controlled. The fatigue is huge. And I am dizzy, weak, uncoordinated and struggling with double vision. On top of this, my thyroid is acting up. My internist decreased my medication for this and I'll have it checked again in a few weeks. Meanwhile, I can really feel the difference as far as increased appetite and a real challenge to not pack on the pounds. I suspect the spike in blood level had more to do with the fact that I had only take the drug about an hour before the blood draw. I will bring this up again with my doc. However, it was the neurologist who ordered the test because of the double vision. So, I'm very discouraged.
On the exreme up side, my daughter and her husband and children are coming for a long weekend visit. I'm ready for the Easter egg hunt. I put together about 160 plastic eggs and some baskets. Since there are only two children coming, I think I overdid things once again. Ha, ha. That is a grandma in action.
My husband's company had more layoffs the end of March. His fuding was actually cut so we expected he would be without a job. But, he was asked to move to another position temporarily and is having to work a lot of extra hours to get on board there. Since this position won't last, we wonder if he should continue there or seek something else. He's weathered so many layoffs in the 30 years there. It is only by God's grace that a position was always there for him. He is an aerospace engineer so a most uncertain career field in the best of circumstances.
With so many ups and downs it is probably a good thing I haven't completely fallen away from the diet and exercise. But, I'm not able to be as vigilant right now. I pray I can truly get back on track and stay there. Meanwhile, I will continue to try, try and try again.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
It's not easy. It seems every time I start to eat right and exercise something or someone happens that distracts me from the prize. For example, during the past few weeks we've had four sets of house guests for long weekends. I also hosted 30 women for a coffee and refreshments meeting at my house. I also prepared breakfast for 28 at another meeting. And, we are having our daughter's family here for several days during our oldest grandson's spring break. So, I've been doing lots of extra cooking and lots of extra eating. Some days and some events I do better, but in general it has not been a good month and I expect the next few weeks to continue along a similar path. So, this is my feeble attempt to encourage myself to get back on the wagon and do the work required to get me back to a healthier size and shape. Life is much too short to spend every waking hour worrying about how I look, how I eat or how I exercise. So, I pray it will just become second nature to me to do the right things day by day. Filling out the info for Spark takes a lot of time that I probably should be spending on other obligations. But, I do enjoy reading the encouraging words I find here. I must just be prepared to schedule the hour or so it takes me to do what I want to do here each day. I wish it could be simpler, easier. I appreciate the shortcuts that have been added to note fruit and veggie consumption and exercise minutes. That has been a helpful addition for me. Perhaps more shortcuts will follow. Meanwhile, I will do my best to follow the plan that will get me to a healthier me.
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