Saturday, March 17, 2012
I've been so scattered lately that I feel I'm doing nothing well. As I hope to be a comfort to my mom after I watched my brother die, I realize that is a hard thing to do from 750 miles away. Since she refuses to get new hearing aids it is really difficult to communicate with her by phone. Since she is blind, letters are out of the picture these days. She had her 98th birthday a few days ago. Seems such an unlikely event with so many systems not working well in her body and mind. I also try to support our daughter's family that is living in our house for a few years during a critical caree fellowship for our son-in-law who is a neurologist. I never expected a big mortgage at this point in my life, but since we still have the big house anad have downsized to a small condo in the city, here we go again. Their youngest, a darling two year old girl is such a joy. She has been so shy, but this week she finally warmed up to me again. So I babysat one day, took her to Build A Bear workshop another, and played with her at my condo on another. We supported her brothers by cheering them at tae qwon do half the day today. And the list of stuff goes on and on and on. This afternoon my dh and I got down to our gym for a good workout. That was the first time all week that I felt that me focus propelled me towards goals I keep telling myself are I'm portent. Hmmm... Actually, rewind - all of those things that are part of my life ... Bills, babies, shopping, reading, cooking, marriage, study, church family, illnesses and even death ... Every one of them deserve my time, attention, focus. A road trip with our son's family in August is something to look forward to, but not something to consume a huge part of me rit now. All in due time. I will turn 60 late this year, but that isn't something to waste time and energy on just now. I do hope to be stronger, lighter, more energetic by then, but to get there I must focus on the details before me today and all the todays yet to come between now and then. Life is an adventure and I want to experience all of it to the fullest, whatever that means. My Irish heritage today reminds me to notice the four leaf clovers, enjoy the rainbows and use my small pot of gold wisely. Have a most blessed St. Patrick's Day everyone!