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GRANDMABABA's Recent Blog Entries

Fat as a Symptom?

Friday, April 29, 2011

I was teased continually as a child about being fat...lots of name calling at school and in my neighborhood. Even my mom got into the act at times that still cut deep when recalled. But, there was something else that I didn't realize was connected to my size and self esteem and sense of worth. I was a battered child - abused by classmates and family. My parents adopted three un-related children and never really knew that we each were very different people. I remember the welts on my back, bottom and legs. I remember feeling worthless. I remember over achieving wherever I could. I was also assaulted when I was 15 while my brothers stood by and did and said nothing. It wasn't anything 'serious'. The bruises healed. I felt even less worthy to be alive. I belong to a group that has a focus on the prevention of child abuse and though I've worked with this group for about 12 years, it wasn't until a few weeks ago that I finally realized that I WAS abused --- mentally, emotionally, physically. That impacted the who that i've become. I now believe that weight has been an armor of sorts. When I've been thin I seemed to always have men make inappropriate comments and give inappropriate looks. I was so uncomfortable. I'm more used to having people be mean to me about my weight than be flirtatious or leer or whistle. I wonder why it took me until now to finally see some real truth in all of this? I guess I'm a slow learner where it comes to the mirror. Now, I suspect that I will be able to attack weight and other issues head on. I can't wait to see how the Lord leads me through this learning experience. Blessings. emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MEADSBAY 5/1/2011 9:03PM

    I think many of us used our layer of fat to protect us from unwanted attention. Too bad- we only hurt ourselves.

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JBETTERID 4/30/2011 5:11AM

    Thank you for being so honest about those things that many people keep hidden. Your story sounds similiar to my own and I also came to a point in my life where I realised that what I had been through had made me the person that I am and that I wanted to be able to support and care for others who also found things to hide behind. That is one of the main reasons why I went back to Uni as a mature age student and got my Social work degree. I know that it is not only my employment but my ministry. I pray that the things that you have been through will continue to give you the empathy and love to minister into many more peoples lives.. Thankyou again for ministering into mine.. take care.. Julie emoticon

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Green Drink back into plan

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Along with beginning several SP challenges emoticon I''ve begun drinking my version of a healthy green drink to boost my veggie and fruit intake. Mine makes two servings so I get a couple healthy snacks whenever I need a boost. My body is digesting more efficiently emoticonwhich is a very good thing. Not sure why scale is still going the wrong way. I'm going to put a call in to my doctor to check my last thyroid level. I suspect I need a little boost there. It is awesome to be able to stay on top of my own health decisions. Life is good! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CMFARRELL36 4/27/2011 2:54PM

    Sounds like a great idea.
I love a savoury smoothie, with tomato, onion and cucumber. I've been told to try adding spinach to it.
What do you have in your green drink?

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Challenges....we'll see!

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

I did it! I joined two challenges at SP to try and get myself going in the right direction once again. I've not done well lately and though there may be some valid reasons, there are certainly far more plain old excuses. Can't get motivated. It's raining. It's snowing. I'm tired. I hurt. Walking is enough. I don't want others to see me exercising in the gym in my current lack of fitness state. No time. I don't want to leave dh alone all evening. I'm hungry. One bite won't hurt. I need to taste it while I cook. It's just one little piece. It's low fat. It's sugar free. It's going to go bad if I don't eat it. I hate to throw away perfectly good food (am I really the garbage can?) And on and on and on it goes. So, challenges, here I come. I've begun a 10 minute a day exercise challenge just to push me not to take any days completely off. And, soon the 8 week team challenge to lose 5% of my weight will begin. I'm in the starting blocks. Spring is here. Gotta spring into action. No more excuses.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DAVENALEE 4/26/2011 7:00PM


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MADKAPKID 4/26/2011 2:35PM

    Good for you. I like the challenges on sparks. I find they do keep me focussed. Good luck with them. Have a joy filled day, Karen

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GRAMLORI 4/26/2011 11:09AM

    You go, girl!!! This will be the start of something BIG!! (or smaller as the case may be!! lol Have a blessed day!

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New us!

Monday, April 25, 2011

My dh told me a couple days ago that he wants to lose about 15 pounds. That will take him maybe a couple of weeks. At first I was sad just thinking of him getting to where he wants with very little effort, but then I thought again. Even if he does succeed in two or maybe three weeks, I can really use those weeks to my advantage, too. I can keep his snacks out of the house and I won't be tempted. I can cook healthily for us both and he hopefully won't begin his snacking fifteen minutes after eating dinner (he hardly touches the veggies, but wants lots of snack stuff later). He's tall, pretty slim, and works out on a mid day break at work's gym at least 3-4 times per week. With warmer days, we've been walking together more than ever before. I know good things can happen if he really sticks to his plan. I know that will help me stick to mine. So, my mantra today is 'new us'. Let's see how far it takes me. Have a great week everyone. emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REBARUTH55 4/26/2011 4:02PM

    It's good thing to have your DH on your team! Good luck on the challenges!

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MADKAPKID 4/25/2011 12:25PM

    You sound like where I am right now. I am getting back to basics. NEW day....NEW start...NEW US! Have a joy filled day, Karen emoticon

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Easter blessings!

Sunday, April 24, 2011

He is Risen Indeed! It will ring out around the world. I feel so blessed to live where I can gather with others and proclaim His Name, where we can pray and worship together without fear of arrest or worse. So, even as I celebrate with friends and family today, I will be mindful of those who must worship covertly. I pray the Lord will guard, guide and protect His people wherever they gather today and everyday. Praise God! Blessings to all at your points of greatest need.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CYCLINGSANDY 4/25/2011 2:14PM

    Yes, we are blessed to worship freely. I even get to worship at Baptist Church here in Germany too. May God never let us take the for granted, but to remain mindful of this blessing.

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MADKAPKID 4/24/2011 8:00AM

    Happy Easter to you and your family!

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TINY67 4/24/2011 7:18AM

    Amen, Happy Easter to you and your family.

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