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Christmas Eve

Friday, December 24, 2010

It is early on Christmas Eve. I treasure the quiet as I await the sound of little feet and sweet voice of my two-year-old granddaughter, Emily, here with her parents for Christmas. It has been a wonderful week sharing our new little condo and the many sights and sounds of city life. Riding the light rail; walking about to shop, play or see the light displays; making a gingerbread house together; batting balloons around; holding hands; hugs; and all the rest have combined to make this a truly joyful time of life for me and for my sweet husband. We are so blessed. Our daughter's family lives in our home that is only about 40 minutes away so I also get to play with those three little ones. To have them all here this afternoon for a very special Christmas Eve dinner and again tomorrow for brunch and presents before I must fly out to care for my 96 y.o. mother will be such a joy. To remember that Jesus came for me and for all is the very best reason for celebration. My son and daughter-in-law are expecting a baby in May. That, too is a great reminder of the blessing of new life. Her baby bump and the fatigue that overtakes her as the days wear on reminds me of Mary and how difficult it must have been for her to travel on the eve of her Son's birth. How could I ever ask for anything more than the many blessings already flowing into and through my life. Praise God. Have a beautiful Christmas and a very happy and healthy New Year everyone!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MEADSBAY 12/24/2010 4:10PM

    What an uplifting message- full of love and blessings- just like you!

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CAROLYNA10 12/24/2010 1:58PM

    I'll be thinking of you with your Mum. Stay calm - you have a great family and if you think about it, your Mum kind of started it, if you know what I mean.....
Have a Merry Christmas.
Carolyn emoticon

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SARAHTAIT 12/24/2010 9:50AM

    You are truly blessed. I am so happy that you are enjoying your family. Have a great Christmas and also a safe trip to visit your mom.

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Magic and Misery

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

I love this time of year. It certainly feels that there is magic in the air. This week my husband is home from work, our son's family - including 2-year-old Emily - is visiting for the first time in 13 months and my son-in-law closed his practice to join his family that is already here awaiting his return to start a critical care fellowship in the spring. I get to have all four little grandchildren snuggled in the center of my universe. It is so perfect, so joyful, so beautiful in every way. But, then my mom had a little fall. She didn't break anything, but it stressed her body (and mind). So after a few days in rehab she is chomping at the bit to go home. This means, however, that I must fly out to her and care for her for I don't know how long. I leave Christmas day. It breaks my heart to leave my little piece of heaven. It is really hard because throughout my life everything has been about my mother. She has never been available when we needed her, only when she wanted to give us a part of her time. She is 96 now and miserable. She was never a happy person and that makes me very sad. It will be hard to leave such joy here to listen day and night to her misery. Still, I have hope that she will yet find peace and joy. As long as there is life and breath I know the Lord can do His work. Perhaps this time there will be joy. I won't have a computer so it's goodbye to Spark for awhile. Hopefully, she will recover quickly and not need my ongoing help. Or, if ongoing help is needed perhaps my brothers and I can figure out a good solution for her. We want her to be happy and she is determined to stay in her own home. Such is life.
Blessings to all for a beautiful Christmas and a joyous New Year! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NURSNANA 12/22/2010 8:41PM

    Oh Barbara, I am so sorry to hear about your mom's fall. I had to do the same thing several times with my mom....pack up and leave to take care of her. We live in VA and she was way out in Missouri. And, my mom was a negative person too, maybe not so miserable. She expected a lot form me. I did my best to honor her, although it was difficult at times. So sorry you are having to fly off at such a special time with your family and especially your grandchildren. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Hang on tight to your joy! You will be missed on Sparks! Hugs, Nancy

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TRIGFROST 12/22/2010 6:47PM

    Been there and done that...Just be yourself and you will find peace in your own heart...Merry emoticon

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MEADSBAY 12/22/2010 6:10PM

    This breaks my heart, Barbara.
One of my best friend's mother is like that, too.
Is there any way your brothers can help out NOW, rather than later?
Hook up with the rehab or elder services social worker and hire as much help as you can.
Take care of you.


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SEAGLASSQUEEN 12/22/2010 6:46AM

    I know how you feel.Bring the joy with you and refuse to let it go! Ignore her complaining and just nod and go to your place of joy.Get out and go for a walk or go to another room when it gets too much but refuse to let her bring you down.

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Checking off those tasks one item at a time

Thursday, December 16, 2010

I started this month with a long list of things that must get done before my son's family arrives Saturday. Well, little by little that list is dwindling. Christmas is wrapped and under the tree, in the mail and or hidden for Santa to deal with. The decorations are so festive and make me smile every day over and over and over again. I finally finished my youngest granddaughter's Christmas stocking - it's taken a year due to double vision and other battles that set me back, but thanks to a wonderful lighted magnifier I got it done last night. I've pretty much finished shopping for my granddaughter's birthday party which will be Saturday night. The holiday baking is about finished - still have decorating to do and a birthday cake to make. Then I'll continue cooking and baking as needed while guests are here. I've nearly finished a book I've been putting off reading for ages. I'll be ringing the Salvation Army bell later this morning as part of my National Exchange Club service. And so it goes. Little by little the weights are drifting off and I feel much lighter in so many ways. Unfortunately, the weight isn't moving just now. Too many tastes, too many get togethers, too much celebrating. Yet, I'm holding my own and that is a blessing for this joyous Christmas season. Hope you are holding your own today, too, maybe even losing some pounds and/or inches this season. Blessings.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HAPPYMOM8 12/16/2010 8:21PM

    You are one awsome lady! enjoy your Holiday! HUGS Pat

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CAROLYNA10 12/16/2010 1:57PM

    You're truly amazing - making the list and ticking things off is a great way to go. Next year I'll make the list in November and I won't be in the mad dash I'm in now!! Hope you all have a wonderful Christmas and enjoy the family. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TIME2BLOOM4ME 12/16/2010 12:38PM


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MEADSBAY 12/16/2010 8:31AM

    You are such an inspiration to me, my friend.
Holding your own is success this time of year!
Thank you for ringing the bells- a thankless job, I know.

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FITMARY 12/16/2010 8:14AM

    Holding your own in this season? That's a triumph in my book!!!
Congratulations on getting everything ready too!
Have a wonderful Christmas!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Alone Again

Sunday, December 05, 2010

Later today my husband has to head out of town for a few days. It's the first time since we moved two months ago that I'll be alone in the new condo. The anticipation feels strange. I don't like it very much when he's away, but it does give me a chance to plan my meals and activities just for me. I can make healthier choices and not fall to so many temptations. It is my hope that I can use these next four days to recharge my weight loss efforts and see that scale budge after being totally stuck for a week. I have so many projects that need doing and I hope I can complete at least a couple - finish my granddaughter's Christmas stocking and get Christmas cards ready to mail. We'll see. At least I have a plan. I brought my yoga mat up from our daughter's house today and I want to start using it . I will spend less time in front of the television and more time in prayer and study. I will begin to make a dent in that pile of reading. So many plans and good intentions. I wonder if I'll feel successful or a total failure by the time my husband is back home again? Time will tell.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CARISSA81 12/5/2010 9:23AM

    I bet you'll feel a success! lol - I never really understood when women are sad because their husbands are out of town - my mom always LOVED when my dad left! Was happy to have some peace!

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MEADSBAY 12/5/2010 8:41AM

    I had grand plans for while my DH was away last month...big sigh...I enjoyed it but,alas, didn't accomplish much besides sleeping more and better.
I like the comment about actually planning out the time- like read 6-8.
Enjoy the respite.
LOVE the new Ziva pic- what a cutie pie!

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DIANE7786 12/5/2010 7:46AM

    I love my husband but I also value the time when he is out of town. There are so many options--all just for me! I accomplish more when I make appts for each activity, like reading from 6:00-8:00 each night. Otherwise I spend too much time going from one activity to another--because I can! Enjoy your time alone!

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BARBARACT 12/5/2010 7:44AM

    You have a plan...get to it! Don't even think about being a failure with your plans. Just do it and you will feel so much better!
It is hard sometimes to be alone, but I find if I have a plan and dive right in I do much better!


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26M8J7 12/5/2010 6:38AM

    It sounds like you have a very good plan. Much success!!!
Barbara emoticon

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ROX525 12/5/2010 4:49AM

    Just dig in... you will feel so much better! Have a great a successful week.

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What a Difference a Year Makes!

Thursday, December 02, 2010

Last year at this time we were terrified and hopeful about our newest grand child about to come into the world. As it happened she was born with craniosynistosis and had to have major surgery cutting her little skull to ribbons and spacers inserted to help her grow normally. There have been many highs and lows this year, but we have much to be thankful for every single day. Ziva will turn one this month and though tiny she continues to meet all her developmental milestones. Her wobbly steps and many real words along with the continual babble remind us of how much little ones grow, change and learn that first year. She is my sweet little cuddlebug with big attitude. She knows what she wants and is determined to find a way to get it. As I watch her it makes me want to become more like her - assertive and loving; active, sleeping when tired, eating when hungry, giggling often and from the deepest part of her little self, always ready to give or get a hug, never worrying about tomorrow, always living in this moment.
Yes, I am so thankful for this little miracle. She has taught me much. It is a joy and a blessing to see the world through the eyes of this little one who has traveled such a long and difficult road in such a short time. I wonder what year two will mean for us all?
Have you learned something special and new this year that changes the way you see yourself and the world?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MEADSBAY 12/2/2010 9:42AM

    Thank you, Barbara- what a wonderful way to think about how we feel about our lives- through the eyes of a one year old angel.
LOVE this!
Give that Ziva and extra hug and kiss from me next time she is in your loving Baba arms.


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LKWQUILTER 12/2/2010 6:35AM

    Yes, God is good. She is your little miracle and blessing.

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