Monday, July 19, 2010
Klutziest kid on the block so long ago...ME!
-I managed to break my toe walking home from kindergarten.
-I wrecked my bike by running it into a metal railing on my first ride by neglecting to turn
-I fell down the escalator on my first ride
-I fell down in the department store by standing still as instructed by my mom
-I broke my wrist the first (and only) time on ice skates
Klutziest kid on the block today....STILL ME!
-Fell off kitchen stool when I forgot which step I was on - just last week
-Got all scratched up falling into a rose bush - also recently
-Fell over my daughter's dog
-Dropped dinner on the kitchen floor
...and so much more
You would think I would learn from some of these experience and the many, many other similar not-so-fun things in my life. But, for some unknown reason I seem to need to continually relearn. Either I'm a slow learner - possibly. Enjoy embarrassment and pain - not so much. Am innately uncoordinated - perhaps. Or could it all be related to my weight issues? That is the answer that many folks around me through the years decided was the right one. I've been an easy target for abuse and name calling in general. It's tough enough picking myself up off the sidewalk when nobody is watching. It is death to do it when onlookers point and laugh. Junior high boys have probably been the worst offenders, but they are certainly not the only ones.
The sad part is that when someone has a mishap we should be first in line to offer assistance. I wonder why so few are willing to go out of their way to help another. None of us is perfect. All of us need help now and then. All of us can help now and then.
I have multiple sclerosis and probably the most emotionally devastating fall happened when I tumbled while carrying a big pile of clothing I was about to purchase. When I fell I had to crawl quite a distance to find something to push up from. I really struggle to get off the floor without some sort of assistance. It was just before Christmas and the store was packed. I think that more than 50 people walked by me as I struggled. Not one offered to help. When I finally did get up, gather my items back into my arms and got through the check out process, I went to my car and just cried. Where has our humanity gone? Where is the empathy and sympathy? What gives anyone the right to abuse another human because of weight, or illness, or because of anything else?
I will always be klutzy. That's just how it is. I pray that I will never just walk past someone in need. I imagine many of my Spark friends have also endured similar sad and disappointing moments. I also imagine it has made each of you stronger and more eager to help wherever you see the need. God bless you for every kindness. For every kind of empathy, sympathy, kindness and assistance....The Award Goes To YOU!
Friday, July 16, 2010
I sort of fell off the wagon. Well, not exactly the wagon. Actually I fell off the top of a little step stool in my kitchen yesterday. I was climbing up to get some things from the cupboard above the fridge. It's as deep as the fridge and I needed to reach to the back almost. That part was fine. But, when I went to come down for some reason I thought I was on a lower step rather than on the top of the thing. I think that has to do with the MS a bit. I tend to forget important details as easily as I forget minor ones. Anyway I flew across the kitchen tile and landed mostly on my left elbow and my lower back on the right side. I bumped my head a bit but nothing serious there. So, I have some pretty vivid bruises to show for my stupidity. As the day wore on I started hurting more and more - neck on fire, back wrenched, hip pain is especially bad when I go up the stairs. Fortunately, I suspected the pains might set in so I quickly got into my car to do the grocery shopping while I could still maneuver. It was difficult to raise my right leg to work the gas and brake, but otherwise no problem. This is certainly not the blog I had intended to write, but here it is. Today I did get to a coffee with about 25 friends this morning followed by a memorial service. Then I went shopping for some matching outfits for my little cousin grand daughters (21 months and almost 7 months) for our reunion next week. I'm hoping their moms will consent to having them dress alike for some photos. I hit an amazing sale and ended up buying three outfits for each of the girls and a couple of outfits and a pair of really cute shoes for myself. I spent about $140, but got retail value of about $450. I felt really proud of myself even though the physical experiencing of all the driving and walking was pretty uncomfortable. I was proud of myself for getting out there and moving about when my body kept yelling at me to stay still. I know I will recover faster by moving than by staying too still. Everything hurts, but everything still moves. My nemesis, the scale greeted me with a 2 pound weight loss. Not so sure I believe it, but maybe. Actually, that would take me back to what I have on my page from my last update. Up and down and up and down I go. However, it also tells me that I've lost some of the body fat. I thought that might be the case since my watch just spins around my wrist now. I need to make another hole for the buckle. My wrists aren't exactly where I need to lose weight, but at least it's an indicator of good things. I pray all of you have a safe, happy and active weekend. Blessings Friends!
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Ouch! I seem to have awoken in a very low mood. No, wait, that's not true. I woke up hoping for a great day. Then I stepped on the scale. That changed everything for the worse. Why do I let that little thing cause such drama in my days? I know it helps me keep from really getting off track, but when it is stubborn and evil to me I just feel awful. Then begin the recriminations, that horrid negative self talk. As I began to spiral down, down, down I knew I had to find the brake. A few deep breaths. A few minutes of stretching. A bit of walking about the house and organizing some of my space. Opening the drapes. Coffee on my deck. Watching the birds and butterflies. Looking at the mountains. Little by little I shed the momentary depression and replaced it with new optimism. The self talk became more positive. I have hope for my day, hope for success. And, that success is not all about weight. So, why will that scale still dictate my immediate frame of mind when I step on it again tomorrow morning? It is a mystery. But, I won't think about that now. I have too many good plans for my day. Blessings to all my Spark friends. Have a great day!
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
It's another hot hot day here, but I got myself up and going very early for me and was thrilled to see a new day dawn. Then I read a bit and listened to the news while I organized my kitchen. After prayer and some study I actually got myself out the door. I should have gone much earlier before the world began to heat up. Pokey me took my own sweet time getting out, but once out I really moved...for me, at least. I'm not the fastest walker, but the walk to the park and the friendly greetings to and from others working in their gardens, walking their dogs, or out walking like me got those feel good chemicals circulating in this little brain of mine. The park was filled with children from various day cares and summer programs. There were moms with their little ones and their were older folks sitting in the shade and some younger ones playing tennis. I hopped on the trail and walked about two miles. So glad I brought water along. By the time I was on my way home it had gotten a little hotter than my multiple sclerosis likes me to move about in. When I opened my front door to the pleasantly air conditioned house, I eagerly downed even more water. It tasted sooooo good! I was tired, but so refreshed and pretty proud of myself. I know it doesn't sound like a lot, but for me it was. I may yet get on the treadmill to walk a bit later and I've been on my stability ball and will do more of that as I have a minute here and there. But, mostly, this afternoon I'm going to organize another area of my house. There is much to do to make room for my daughter's family of five to move in next month. I think I'll even take some time to look at more condos on the market. We really need to be on our way out of here so the kids can have the place pretty much to themselves. Every day holds so much promise, so many opportunities. When I think of the wasted days and hours of my life I get a little sad. But even those times had meaning in the great whole scheme of things. I'm so thankful that today I can move about. I will enjoy this day fully. I pray you will all enjoy your day completely as well. Blessings!
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