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Anxiety About School

Sunday, January 13, 2013

I'm going back to Richardson tommorow (actually, it's 12:46 am right now, so technically it is already "tommorow"). I'm starting to get really nervous and anxious. Part of it is that I'm already getting that "homesick" feeling, and the other part is that I'm really starting to worry about Game Lab.

Game Lab is an industry simulation class at UTD, where we're put on a production team, and we...well, make a game. What I'm worried about is my role assignment...the assignment I was given was just the general role of "Game Design" but when we met at the end of last semester, my creative director said he wanted me to design the typography for the game.

Now, I have actually taken a class in typography (and I may even be the only one taking Game Lab who has, because I took it at another school), but that doesn't make me a great typographer. And this game is all about the's a bit difficult to explain, but the game basically takes place in a completely dark setting, and all you see, besides the character's eyes, are words. Which is why I feel like a real artist should be doing this, not me -_-;;

Chances are, I'm overthinking this, but I'm really afraid that I'm going to let my team down.

I do kind of wonder if the fact that I DO actually know a little bit about typography design and how involved it really is is the reason why I'm so afraid of screwing it up. I guess if I was really that worried about my assignment, I should have brought it up before the end of last semester. It's really too late to do anything about it now.

This is my last semester as an undergraduate, so I'll also be doing my capstone project at the same time, and taking my first graduate course. I'm much less worried about those things however.

Guess I'll just have to do my best. Gambarimasu! That translates roughly into "I'll do my best" in Japanese - gambarimasu is my favorite word in Japanese; I love that they have a single word with that meaning.

(Btw, I'm actually already starting to feel a little less anxious - I knew writing about how I was feeling would help ^_^;; )

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THE_SHAKESHAFT 1/13/2013 4:07AM

    I remember when I finished as an undergrad. LOTS of stress. Hope you enjoy it!

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Setting a Reward for a Small Goal

Thursday, January 10, 2013

As a big fan of both Japanese RPGs and Studio Ghibli, I was already planning on using the money I still have from Christmas to buy Ni No Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch when it comes out.

So I figure, might as well use this as an opportunity to bribe myself into staying on track ^_^

This is the plan: as a reward for exercising 30 minutes a day and drinking at least 4 cups of water between January 13th (when I'm back at my own apartment and have access to my exercise bike/exercise DVDs again - i.e., no excuse not to exercise) and January 22nd (when the game comes out), I'm going to buy myself Ni No Kuni (even though I was going to anyway).

Wait, you might say. Why on Earth would you give yourself a reward of something you were already going to buy (and furthermore, will probably buy even if the goal is not met)?

The answer to that question: It's difficult to explain, but my mind just works in mysterious ways. If I say something is going to be a reward, I will probably go ahead and do the work to meet those goals. That way, I don't feel bad when I give myself that reward anyway ;P

Giving myself rewards has always worked well for me in the past (working towards small goals in order to obtain them keeps me focused, if nothing else), but since I don't have a lot of money, I can't really spend it on rewards that I wouldn't have bought anyway. Thus, I find that tricking my mind into thinking I'm getting rewards (by telling myself that things I'm buying anyway are, in fact, rewards) works rather well.

I also find setting goals that I have COMPLETE control over immensely helpful. To me:

Lose X# of lbs by XX/XX/XX = not a very good goal, because how much weight I lose is not something I can 100% control despite my best efforts


Drink X# cups of water every day between XX/XX/XX and XX/XX/XX = excellent goal, because I definitely have 100% control over how much I drink

Obviously, I also like to set goals that are less than overly ambitious. To me, 8 cups of water a day is just asking too much (especially when I'm not used to drinking any), but 4 is both better than none and a completely attainable goal.

Not to say that the goals I'm working toward aren't important. At the moment, I feel like if I can do the water and exercise, everything else will follow. I'm a lot less likely to feel like over eating if I'm otherwise taking care of myself.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MT_GIRL 1/12/2013 6:56PM

    Sounds like a good plan. Rewards can be great motivators!

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JULESJET 1/10/2013 7:57PM

    I adore Studio Ghibli!
Attainable goals are the way to go!
That way you feel like you are making progress.
And 4 glasses is better than none!

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BATCHICK 1/10/2013 4:47PM

    I like your smart attainable goals! Enjoy the game (i know you'll earn it)!

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LLEE06 1/10/2013 4:15PM

    I love Studio Ghibli! Great idea with the rewards.

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MR.NET1 1/10/2013 4:10PM


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Okay, I Really Am Back This Time.

Saturday, January 05, 2013

I had kind of a false start back in November ^_^;; I think I tried for a couple of days to get back into the weightloss frame of mine, but it didn't really work out because it was a busy/stressful time for school, and it just wasn't a good moment to add a new challenge into the mix.

Right now I've still got a week before school starts again, and then the first week of school is never really so bad (since classes are mostly about handing out syllabuses and getting ready for the rest of the semester), so I think I've got just enough time to get myself accimated to eatting healthy and exercising again.

Last night I bought some frozen greek yogurt, berries and bannanas to take the place of all the Christmas candy and cookies I'd been snacking on lately, and this morning I had: an egg white fried in butter flavored cooking spray, oatmeal with berries and a drizzel of honey, and a cup of espresso with hazelnut creamer, all for under 200 calories. And I am now blogging about it in an effort to keep my mind otherwise occupied, so I don't go eatting everything else I can find in the house.

Actually, it's about time I had some lunch, anyway...

I still have a small stack of books I need to read before next week, so I can't put all my effort into the weightloss thing, but hopefully that gives me something else to keep my mind occupied.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STELLAR-LIGHTS 1/9/2013 9:43AM

    Glad to see you! been off track myself,.. quite a while now. But no looking back just keep cherishing each day and taking life one choice at a time!

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MT_GIRL 1/5/2013 6:14PM

    I am in the same boat. School starts up in a week and I am trying to get into the habit of exercising and eating right. It is really hard for me to start a new program during school so I am hoping that getting an early start will make it easier. Good luck on reaching your goals!

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NMSUSTUDENT 1/5/2013 5:06PM

    Quote: “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”--Aristotle

Stay focus.

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No Clue How Much I Weigh Now...

Monday, November 26, 2012

I just know I've gained weight again ^_^;; Oh well, kind of getting used to it, really. I gain it, I lose it, I want to lose more, but at some point I lose motivation. Then I forget and gain the weight back. I think it helps that I can look back at all my blogs on this website and see the pattern, and think "yep, that's just kind of how it works."

Then I can just go right back and lose the weight again before things get really out of hand. So I'm not complaining. I'm resigned to my fate (almost).

So this time, I'm not here with the goal of someday being 125 lbs. It probably won't happen. Maybe it will, but probably, I was never (genetically, biologically) meant to be less than 135 lbs. Nope, I'm here with the goal of getting back under 140, so that then I can put on another 20 lbs, then come back and lose it again...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CORNERKICK 11/29/2012 12:46AM

  I hate the weight loss roller coaster BUT I only have myself to blame. I haven't been working out consistently as I know I should. Well at least I have a 5-day exercise streak going :)

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FUZZIEBEAR3 11/27/2012 11:19AM

    Welcome back! emoticon

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"Don't Count Your Chickens...blah, blah, blah"

Saturday, March 03, 2012

Okay, so I didn't actually meet my goal on time. I guess my celebration was a bit premature. It just seemed like I had plenty of time left and not that much weight to lose...

So I'm still 146 (if I'm honest, 146.6) and it's March 2nd. My goal was to be 145 by February 28th.

I don't really care that much. Would have been kind of nice (a novelty really) to actually make it on time, but...meh.

I'll be there soon. I can't control when I plateau. All I can do is watch what I'm eating, exercise, etc.

(Okay, so I could stand to exercise a bit more, and to eat more veggies, but midterms are next week, and school is really my first priority, right? I know that's not an excuse, but...yeah, you know what? I don't care. I just need to make it through next week without having a nervous breakdown.)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STELLAR-LIGHTS 3/3/2012 9:20PM

    Yeah, not a big deal- mild bummer, but you are very close. Give yourself a break, get through the week, and nervous breakdown or not you've got what it takes to get to your goal after the stress lets up.

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LATTELEE 3/3/2012 12:47AM

  Good luck to you...

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