Friday, January 29, 2010
Now that Vancouver is hosting the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions people from all over the world are asking.
Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website.
Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!
Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? ( England )
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.
Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? ( USA )
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the Railroad tracks? ( Norway )
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada ? ( Sweden )
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada ? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto , Vancouver , Edmonton and Halifax ? ( England )
A: No, but you'd better bring a few extra furs for trading purposes.
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada ? ( USA )
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada ? ( England )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )
A: Aus-t ri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary , straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in Canada ? ( Germany )
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can I sell it in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Only at Thanksgiving.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada , but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA )
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
Got any questions to ask a Canadian???
Thursday, January 28, 2010
My throat is scratchy. My knees are achy and I am feeling chills.
Yup, I am coming down with "something".
My blood pressure was 162/ 95 last April and I started daily BP readings, adding more activity daily, removing as much sodium as I see in my diet, joined Spark People and visited my doctor. Since October 2009, I have taken a low dose 'water pill' to try to flush my system and reduce blood pressure.
My high blood pressure has improved. I actually get readings in the 120/80 with 77 beats a minute range. Until yesterday...
I came home with my flu symptoms (maybe it will be a sore throat only-- time will tell) and I took a first BP reading: 169/100 65 beats! EGADS!!
I relaxed, did some deep breathing and went to my happy place.... did another reading: 173/98 61 beats. Holy high blood pressure, Batman!
Relax, breathe. Life is good. I am blessed. Let's try this again.... 165/93 with 60 beats.
DH put the cuff on himself because he figured the machine had gone screwy. His reading was 111/76 but his rate of heartbeat was higher than mine.
So, it wasn't the machine.
Yesterday, I had not been drinking my water like a well behaved and learned gal. Yes, I know better, but I just didn't do it.
Yesterday, I felt too unbalanced to commit to the daily Boot Camp workout. I thought I might fall over and break a wrist. So I decided to mellow out instead.
At bedtime, my blood pressure reading was 164/96 and 96 beats. (groan)
Has anyone else noticed blood pressure spikes whenever your body is fighting something off? Is my hard-working immune system pushing up my numbers????
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
I enjoy chatting over the internet with a 4 year-old niece on Skype. She is a real talker and loves to make faces at me and tell me about her day. Many times we sing the "Wheels on the Bus" song and sometimes we favour the "On Top of Spaghetti" ditty.
Last night I decided to kick it up a notch by starting to write comical booklets for her. I will write a line of text at the bottom of each page and allow her to colour the illustration above. Yeah, I've been known to sketch a picture or two in my day.
I want to start with a fictitious character who will be in her same swimming lesson level. I hope to write, draw and later read the story to her over Skype. THEN I will mail it to her for the colouring part. (I wonder if she will mind being my partner?)
If all goes according to plan, the next booklet will use a character with the same name as her, then an aunt or cousin... I hope she will see the humour of having her dad's name used as a puppy character and later a spider with the same moniker as another family member. I will be Karen the Kangaroo, because, lets face it, how many animals start with a letter K?
I have some paper that has been rescued from the garbage, so I'm planning a semi-green project here! There are even some binders at home that are empty, so they may be used to help her store HER stories!
Now, I face the blank white page, willing the creative juices to flow....
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