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Looking within

Monday, October 31, 2011

“The only lifelong, reliable motivations are those that come from within, and one of the strongest of those is the joy and pride that grow from knowing that you've just done something as well as you can do it.”

~Lloyd Dobens

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PATTYKLAVER 11/1/2011 7:15AM

    Great quote for me today! Thanks for sharing.

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The relief of living with less guilt

Sunday, October 30, 2011

This year, I did some serious soul-searching to try to figure out why I overeat.

It would be easy to blame my mom - she has an unhealthy relationship with food, was put on diets when she was very young (she was actually not really overweight then, but as she tells it, "all of the other kids in the neighborhood were skinny, and my parents looked at me and wanted me to look like them.") She did the same thing to me, putting me on the Atkins diet when I was nine, telling me that "you'll be a happier, better person if you are thin."

Nevermind that the tendency to carry a bit of extra weight was strong in her father's family. His daughter would not be fat - he'd make sure of it. Mostly by judging her and hounding her and making her focus on food as a source of guilt. She did't know any better. She still doesn't, and I can't teach her. She's not ready to hear that food is not the enemy.

Part of my journey this year is to separate emotion from situations where it does not serve a purpose. This does not mean that I don't HAVE those same emotions, but that I'm learning that sometimes (more and more often) I can choose whether or not to react to those emotions, and whether I SHOULD.

Growing up, emotions were attached to every situation - lost mittens, spilled milk, tape on the woodwork, missing Twinkies from the freezer, etc. Each of these things caused a loud, explosive barrage of harsh judgemental words. Blame was always assigned-usually to me as the oldest daughter-whether or not that was appropriate. This cause a lot of confusion and guilt. I turned to food for comfort, and have used it ever since.

Yesterday, DH and I I went out to dinner with friends. I ate what I wanted, and I'm now "writing it all down". I enjoyed myself and I'm taking accountability and moving on.
Guilt won't help - and I won't give it any more space in my head.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUGARSMOM2 10/30/2011 5:42PM

  good insight . that is hard to find reasons why we do anything . In reality we know every thing we do is rooted in our past .so many things we will never know the truth about why we are stuck and doing the things we do . enjoyed what you found . good luck in your journey .

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MARILYNJB1 10/30/2011 12:25PM

    Great blog. I was always critisized by my Mom if I was even a little over weight. Of course she was skinny, but didn't notice that, I was not her. Hugs to you, we're not guilty.



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CAPECODLIGHT 10/30/2011 11:56AM

    Excellent blog! What you are accomplishing is hard to achieve; so kudos to you. If we can normalize our relationship with food, I think we'll all be healthier in so many ways.

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Gotta love Marilyn

Saturday, October 29, 2011

“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius
and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.”

~Marilyn Monroe

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MCJULIEO 10/31/2011 11:22AM

    Intriguing!

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HAPPYLOSER46 10/29/2011 7:14PM

    I love it! Thanks for sharing!

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The need to parent never ends

Friday, October 28, 2011

"It helps parents to feel better if we remind them of our failures with them! And how they turned out just fine despite our imperfections.... We never get over needing nurturing parents. The more we comfort our own adult children, the more they can comfort our grandchildren."

~Eda Le Shan

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LASARRE 10/29/2011 10:26AM

    Wish my mother had believed in this. Trying to do it with my own kids however.

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IMREITE 10/28/2011 8:56PM

    my parents would agree with that/

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PEGGYO 10/28/2011 3:57PM

    so true

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CHIEF_GEEK 10/28/2011 3:06PM

    Interesting words. No matter what there ages are, we like to pass on our words of wisdom to make their life a little better.

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Remember this

Thursday, October 27, 2011

“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.”

~Lao Tzu

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MCJULIEO 10/28/2011 1:14PM

    True that!

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MOEMOORE 10/27/2011 4:32PM

    Thanks for the reminder! One step at a time!

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ANGELOO29 10/27/2011 9:49AM

    Very true

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GIDDYUPPJL 10/27/2011 9:38AM

    And with every step the light gets brighter

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