Sunday, July 15, 2012
Ok...where do I start. I'm feeling kinda blah these past few days. I mean, I have started marathon training and I feel good about that, but it's more my personal life that I feel blah about. With that, comes lack of motivation to work out and eat well. So, I need to talk this out and get to the bottom of why I feel the way I do.
Let's start with the fact that it's summer and I am not teaching, but I am still coaching. I am done coaching by 10 each day, so then I have the rest of the day to do whatever I choose. Most days I try to find cleaning and errands to run. THe problem is, when I'm at home cleaning, I find a reason to stop and EAT...yes eat...so I have gained weight this summer rather than lose. =( That makes me sad to start off. But I think the main problem is that I don't have a set schedule that keeps me busy and out of the kitchen. So, this week I'm going to try having a schedule to keep me busy. Hopefully that can help.
Well, next I feel fat...and that is no one's fault but my own. I am up to 157 lbs. WTF! How did I do that?! I have got to get things into swing. I really had plans to be the skinniest I could be this summer and be confident in a swimsuit and not ever feel insecure this summer...well I did the opposite and I feel the most insecure of my life. It sucks. Then it leads to the fact that I feel very unwanted from my husband. He is so fit and toned and weighs less than me. Actually I have a husband that weighs 135 lbs. That is my goal weight. HOW THE HELL DO I FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF AROUND HIM?!
We are struggling with communication...the struggle is, I communicate, he gets mad and doesn't want to hear what I have to say. I try to be a great support to him, but when he does things that I don't think are appropriate and he really doesn't see it, he gets mad and tells me I'm not supportive and no one else seems to think he's wrong. Then he doesn't communicate with me to tell me there is a problem. I don't know how to fix this...he just ignores that there is a problem and let's it bubble up.
So there are several things lingering...maybe it all starts with the issues with my hubby, and then branches to more...I dunno. Sometimes I think life would just be easier if I was just 20 lbs skinnier and more confident in myself...but I don't think that answers everything. I just have to keep digging to find the root of all issues...why I'm feeling blah...maybe it's just hormones? LOL. TOM is hanging around and hubby is out of town right now...who knows. I have a plan for my health and fitness routine and plan to stick to it...
Hope you all have had a great weekend and will have a great week.
Tuesday, July 03, 2012
Well, it is Tuesday and I have already run 8 miles this week! Woop! I got up again this morning and ran 4 miles this morning again. We moved our normal Wednesday run to today because of 4th of July being tomorrow and most people being at the lake. I feel pretty good and my belly bloating is gone! Yay!
I plan to either get up and run at the lake tomorrow if we go or I will hit the gym here if I stay in town. My grandmother's funeral is Saturday and family comes in town Thursday. I wouldn't mind going to the lake to get my mind off things, but hubby is thinking of staying here...so we'll see!
I'm off to the pool to get some sun and reading in! Have a great Tuesday!
Monday, July 02, 2012
Got up and went for a 4 mile run at 5 this morning! It was a SUPER tough run and I hope it gets easier! LOL. I have a long road ahead of me in this training, so I need to make sure to stick to each run and not miss them! I am joining the RUnner's WOrld training group we have in town to get my long runs in. My normal running group will continue to be my short week day running group.
Happy Monday everyone!
Sunday, July 01, 2012
Wel, I have been gone a bit, but I'm ready to get back on track...I have been super busy, lots of traveling, lots of coaching , lots of eating and not enough working out. So, with that said....I am getting myself back on track. I start training for a marathon this week, so the weight needs to come off in order to make this 26.2 miles easier on my body. Plus, me ten lbs less is much better than me now.
So, one of my teams is starting a July challenge. my main goal is to lose 1% weight each week. I started out at 156.5 on Friday and then today I'm already down to 155... Thank you eating well! You know, it really is true...diet is almost all of it! (Thisis me being sarcastic to myself bc I have known this fact all too long...some reason I ignore it every 6 weeks or so.)
On another note, my grandmother passed away this mornin and this week will be a very hard one. Wednesday is also her 94th birthday. The funeral will be Thursday, but my brother has to go back to the Phillipines for work, otherwise he loses his job. he was just down visiting her two days ago though. I was able to make it a week ago and say my last goodbyes to her as well. It's tough tho bc you always think they will never stop being there. She was an amazing woman that fought for everything in her life...I'm just thankful that she is at peace and now home for eternity.
Well, training starts this week for my marathon, so I can funnel my energy and emotions into that. have a great week...I'll try to check in ASAP.
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Ok...so this is the first night I think I have had a chance to sit down and get on. So, here is the update on everything.
I am coaching two cheerleading teams now. Varsity and Freshman for my district. It is quite time consuming right now until school lets out for the summer. When school starts back in August, it won't be so bad bc I will coach my Varsity team during school hours. But, for now, my evenings are consumed with cheer and chores and hopefully some time with my hubby. (Poor guy...I think he's neglected)
I promise that I am working out still. I get up each morning at 4:30 AM to get my run or my workout in. Now, to be honest here...I set the alarm for 4:30 and sometimes I get up at 4:30 and sometimes I sleep til 5 and get a mere 30 minute workout in. So, I need to work on this.
I haven't been planning foods and I haven't been eating well...I know this. I know that I can't lose weight like this. My problem has NEVER been the exercise. It has always been the food. I deny this and I know that. I ignore that my food is what is keeping me from my goals. So, I need a solution. It's not that I don't cook...it's not that I don't know what is better fo rme....it's that I really just want chips and salsa and queso. I want a greasy hamburger. I want all those stupid yummy foods that are keeping me from my goal. So, I need plans to help for these situations.
I don't have those plans yet, but I do have a plan to work on it. =) I have my lunch packed for tomorrow (spaghetti squash casserole) My breakfast is going to be oatmeal with protein powder in it (makes it taste like strawberries and cream!) My snacks are an apple with almonds and a protein shake after work. Dinner will be white chicken chili.
I can't promise I will log in as much as I want, but I can promise that I will do my best to stick to my plans. I have goals ladies and gents...I need to meet them. This is the summer. I want to be super confident in a swimsuit at the lake and this could be the last summer before children change my body (depending on life's plans) so this is the time. =)
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