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Weekend Blahs...

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Ok...where do I start. I'm feeling kinda blah these past few days. I mean, I have started marathon training and I feel good about that, but it's more my personal life that I feel blah about. With that, comes lack of motivation to work out and eat well. So, I need to talk this out and get to the bottom of why I feel the way I do.

Let's start with the fact that it's summer and I am not teaching, but I am still coaching. I am done coaching by 10 each day, so then I have the rest of the day to do whatever I choose. Most days I try to find cleaning and errands to run. THe problem is, when I'm at home cleaning, I find a reason to stop and EAT...yes eat...so I have gained weight this summer rather than lose. =( That makes me sad to start off. But I think the main problem is that I don't have a set schedule that keeps me busy and out of the kitchen. So, this week I'm going to try having a schedule to keep me busy. Hopefully that can help.

Well, next I feel fat...and that is no one's fault but my own. I am up to 157 lbs. WTF! How did I do that?! I have got to get things into swing. I really had plans to be the skinniest I could be this summer and be confident in a swimsuit and not ever feel insecure this summer...well I did the opposite and I feel the most insecure of my life. It sucks. Then it leads to the fact that I feel very unwanted from my husband. He is so fit and toned and weighs less than me. Actually I have a husband that weighs 135 lbs. That is my goal weight. HOW THE HELL DO I FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF AROUND HIM?!

We are struggling with communication...the struggle is, I communicate, he gets mad and doesn't want to hear what I have to say. I try to be a great support to him, but when he does things that I don't think are appropriate and he really doesn't see it, he gets mad and tells me I'm not supportive and no one else seems to think he's wrong. Then he doesn't communicate with me to tell me there is a problem. I don't know how to fix this...he just ignores that there is a problem and let's it bubble up.

So there are several things lingering...maybe it all starts with the issues with my hubby, and then branches to more...I dunno. Sometimes I think life would just be easier if I was just 20 lbs skinnier and more confident in myself...but I don't think that answers everything. I just have to keep digging to find the root of all issues...why I'm feeling blah...maybe it's just hormones? LOL. TOM is hanging around and hubby is out of town right now...who knows. I have a plan for my health and fitness routine and plan to stick to it...
Hope you all have had a great weekend and will have a great week.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LYNMEINDERS 7/17/2012 6:39AM

    I agree with both ROSE and also MOPAYNENOGAIN..they have both given you som good suggestions....

I find DH's just don't understand some things that we struggle with...
A book came to my mind when i read your blog....
"Men are from Mars...Women are from Venus"
I remember my DH starting to read it one holiday thta we were on and there was some stuff in the first few pages that were real new to him and things I knew all along.....
Maybe reading it would help you both....
Just a thought....
Praying for you Honey

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NOPAYNENOGAIN 7/16/2012 11:33AM

    Ok..first off DITTO to everything Rose said!!! :)

Secondly, have you taken the time to ask hubby what he's thinking, how he's feeling, ask him to explain why he feels or if he feels there is a problem? Even ask him to just write it down instead of actually talking since he gets mad. Communication is key in a relationship and it's got to be a give and take thing. It's all in cracking his shell and finding out what makes him comfortable to talk about.

Don't let your weight be a hinderance in any of that though. Unconditional love doesn't make you lose weight...I'm sure he loves you no matter what! Just be confident in your insane ability to run like a mad woman!!! I'm certainly jealous of that ability! :)

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AROSESG 7/16/2012 3:13AM

    I love how openly you can write here. I often feel the same way, so I hope you don't mind a long response! :P

- A schedule is a great idea. It can be as detailed as hour by hour, or general goals for the week. Put it in your purse or tape it to the wall so you can see it often. What hobbies do you never have time for during the school year? Now you have free time to bike to the library, redecorate the house, learn to do your own taxes, make scrapbooks, take a yoga class, or meet your girlfriends for coffee or a stroll. You seem happiest when you're busy. ;)

- I am totally guilty of mindless grazing when I have nothing to do at home too! How can you beat that? Drinking a glass of water like mentioned above is a great idea. What works for me is not buying junk food and keeping fruits and veggies around. Try to stop and just think before you take out the food. Are you really hungry? Is this the best choice? I realized that often when I go for peanut butter, it's because I haven't eaten much protein that day. A hard boiled egg or roasted chickpeas satiates my hunger and makes me feel better mentally than spoonfuls of the pb.

- Getting in shape is tough. It's completely an uphill battle. Even our society doesn't want you to be in shape (buy more food, and oh yeah, it's mostly crap!) Don't be too hard on yourself- you might not be happy with your weight, but you are running miles and MILES every week. Give yourself a little credit! You're doing awesome. Maybe it isn't about reaching the golden dream weight, but gaining all the healthy habits and knowledge to use throughout life, which will make you look and feel better.

- It sounds like we might have similar communication issues with our husbands... I don't have any advice, but I'm here if you want to talk more. :)

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LADYBUG1107 7/15/2012 4:33PM

    I hope that your weekend improves.

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MICHSTATE 7/15/2012 3:01PM

    I am sorry you are feeling so blah!!!!
I have the same trouble with my dh that he weighs less than me!!! He is an inch or so shorter, but I would still like to weigh less than him!!!!
Keep you chin up and try to talk to him!!!!

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HARDBODYCHICK 7/15/2012 1:56PM

    I feel the same way about my boyfriend! He weighs 135 and is 5 foot 6, and I am 5 foot 1 and weigh more than him even on a "skinny" day. It sucks, especially when he makes comments saying that I should focus on losing half a pound a week - the whole time I'm thinking, "I am TRYING, you idiot."

Don't worry! We all go up and down in weight. You're working really hard, and soon the scale will respond with results!

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FALCON_MONICAB 7/15/2012 11:29AM

    emoticon I hope the weekend looks up for you! Sorry you're through the blahs. That's never fun. I hope and pray things improve and better communication is on its way to you and your husband as well. Know that you can reach your goals and will achieve them. emoticon You always have support here to help you through. emoticon May your day turn out much better and you find greatness in each day this summer! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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FITMOMMYFORLIFE 7/15/2012 11:25AM

    I'm sorry you and your hubby are having communication issues! Every couple goes through that for sure, and I've been there so I get it!! I wish I had some great advice =/ But really how we got back on track when our communication was lacking and my hubby was stuffing everything inside was to have a serious one on one talk and trying to get through to eachother! Maybe you could even write out all your feelings about the situation, take a little break from it, come back and try to re-read though different eyes? Maybe have the hubby do the same and you guys can find middle ground and understand each other?

I'm sorry also that you've been finding yourself turning to food out of boredom.. being a stay at home mom I can REALLY relate to that! Have you tried the trick of when you go to eat drinking a full glass of water and waiting a minute and then seeing if you really want a snack? maybe that would help! =]

Sending you positive, healing vibes my dear! I hope things start to get better for you!

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Two days in a row...8 miles already run!

Tuesday, July 03, 2012

Well, it is Tuesday and I have already run 8 miles this week! Woop! I got up again this morning and ran 4 miles this morning again. We moved our normal Wednesday run to today because of 4th of July being tomorrow and most people being at the lake. I feel pretty good and my belly bloating is gone! Yay!

I plan to either get up and run at the lake tomorrow if we go or I will hit the gym here if I stay in town. My grandmother's funeral is Saturday and family comes in town Thursday. I wouldn't mind going to the lake to get my mind off things, but hubby is thinking of staying here...so we'll see!

I'm off to the pool to get some sun and reading in! Have a great Tuesday!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FITMOMMYFORLIFE 7/4/2012 11:59AM

    Way to go girl! That rocks =] Enjoy relaxing by the pool! =]

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LYNMEINDERS 7/3/2012 5:41PM

    Woohoo...go you...am proud of you

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Great start!

Monday, July 02, 2012

Got up and went for a 4 mile run at 5 this morning! It was a SUPER tough run and I hope it gets easier! LOL. I have a long road ahead of me in this training, so I need to make sure to stick to each run and not miss them! I am joining the RUnner's WOrld training group we have in town to get my long runs in. My normal running group will continue to be my short week day running group.

Happy Monday everyone!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LYNMEINDERS 7/3/2012 5:59AM

    woohoo....welcome back....you can SO do this girl

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AROSESG 7/2/2012 10:32PM

    I bet those Runner's World people will be great motivators and training buddies! Let' us know how it goes!

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ERICADAWN1986 7/2/2012 11:23AM

    I'm jealous that you're run is already done for the day. It's so hot here that I'm either getting up super early or going at dusk. Congrats on a great start to the week!

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FITMOMMYFORLIFE 7/2/2012 11:06AM

    Happy monday morning! Way to go getting your run in and joining a group! =]

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I'm baaaack!

Sunday, July 01, 2012

Wel, I have been gone a bit, but I'm ready to get back on track...I have been super busy, lots of traveling, lots of coaching , lots of eating and not enough working out. So, with that said....I am getting myself back on track. I start training for a marathon this week, so the weight needs to come off in order to make this 26.2 miles easier on my body. Plus, me ten lbs less is much better than me now.

So, one of my teams is starting a July challenge. my main goal is to lose 1% weight each week. I started out at 156.5 on Friday and then today I'm already down to 155... Thank you eating well! You know, it really is true...diet is almost all of it! (Thisis me being sarcastic to myself bc I have known this fact all too long...some reason I ignore it every 6 weeks or so.)

On another note, my grandmother passed away this mornin and this week will be a very hard one. Wednesday is also her 94th birthday. The funeral will be Thursday, but my brother has to go back to the Phillipines for work, otherwise he loses his job. he was just down visiting her two days ago though. I was able to make it a week ago and say my last goodbyes to her as well. It's tough tho bc you always think they will never stop being there. She was an amazing woman that fought for everything in her life...I'm just thankful that she is at peace and now home for eternity.

Well, training starts this week for my marathon, so I can funnel my energy and emotions into that. have a great week...I'll try to check in ASAP.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DIBANANA 7/2/2012 8:57AM

  Sorry to hear about your Grandmother. It is good you both got to visit a little before she died.

Good luck on your marathon and 1%

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LYNMEINDERS 7/2/2012 5:18AM

    Awesome to have you back my sweet....
I am looking to get back on track as well as I have 2 races I am going to walk coming up.....

So sorry to hear about Grandma.....it is great to know she is at peace and in eternity waiting ...
Prayers coming your way for all your family.....

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FITMOMMYFORLIFE 7/1/2012 10:41PM

    So sorry to hear about your grandma =[ Sounds like she lived a long, loving life!


And weeeelcome back! That rocks about training for a marathon! Whoot! Hopefully that will help keep your mind off of everything else.. you've got this girl! =] and we're ALL here to support ya along the way =]

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SEPPIESUSAN 7/1/2012 4:28PM

    Congrats on the weight loss you've already jump started. I'm sorry about your grandmother.

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MICHSTATE 7/1/2012 2:27PM

    I am sorry to hear about your grandmother....that is always difficult.

Good luck on your %1 goal!!!!!

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Hi and welcome to my busy busy world...

Sunday, April 29, 2012

Ok...so this is the first night I think I have had a chance to sit down and get on. So, here is the update on everything.

I am coaching two cheerleading teams now. Varsity and Freshman for my district. It is quite time consuming right now until school lets out for the summer. When school starts back in August, it won't be so bad bc I will coach my Varsity team during school hours. But, for now, my evenings are consumed with cheer and chores and hopefully some time with my hubby. (Poor guy...I think he's neglected)

I promise that I am working out still. I get up each morning at 4:30 AM to get my run or my workout in. Now, to be honest here...I set the alarm for 4:30 and sometimes I get up at 4:30 and sometimes I sleep til 5 and get a mere 30 minute workout in. So, I need to work on this.

I haven't been planning foods and I haven't been eating well...I know this. I know that I can't lose weight like this. My problem has NEVER been the exercise. It has always been the food. I deny this and I know that. I ignore that my food is what is keeping me from my goals. So, I need a solution. It's not that I don't cook...it's not that I don't know what is better fo rme....it's that I really just want chips and salsa and queso. I want a greasy hamburger. I want all those stupid yummy foods that are keeping me from my goal. So, I need plans to help for these situations.

I don't have those plans yet, but I do have a plan to work on it. =) I have my lunch packed for tomorrow (spaghetti squash casserole) My breakfast is going to be oatmeal with protein powder in it (makes it taste like strawberries and cream!) My snacks are an apple with almonds and a protein shake after work. Dinner will be white chicken chili.

I can't promise I will log in as much as I want, but I can promise that I will do my best to stick to my plans. I have goals ladies and gents...I need to meet them. This is the summer. I want to be super confident in a swimsuit at the lake and this could be the last summer before children change my body (depending on life's plans) so this is the time. =)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LYNMEINDERS 5/1/2012 7:02AM

    Wow....I thought that my world was busy however I am on a walk as opposed to a hard run compared with your world....
be careful that you are not going too fast my sweet

Comment edited on: 5/1/2012 7:02:35 AM

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