Tuesday, April 05, 2011
Well, My status today was about how i had to remind myself that it IS possible for me to reach my weight loss goals.
And, for some of you, this may never be an issue.
But for me, I woke up this morning feeling like all the calories I've counted, all the miles I've run, all the times I've said NO when i wanted to say yes... meant nothing.
Because as far as I am concerned, I am still fat. Yes the dreaded F word. The word that makes me cringe when I THINK others THINK it about me.
I started thinking about how all the people who are meeting me for the first time see me as a big girl. My old friends at least know I was small and in shape at one point. But these new people, they'll never believe I've run TWO marathons, TWO half marathons, and LOTS of other races.
I mean, shoot I barely believe it myself when I see what the scale tells me every single morning.
I don't like to feel like this. I don't like thinking what I'm doing is not working. But, I do realize that at this moment all I can do, is keep doing the right thing. and PRAY my body remembers what it used to be. How it used to feel slipping into my 8's and prancing around like I was on top of the world. No longer caring what others think.
But until then, I'll just strap on my running shoes and keep running until I remember.