Sunday, December 26, 2010
Last night was Christmas and I had a wonderful day with my family!
I drove back to my apartment and after the 4 trips to and fro to get my gifts from the car to my apartment I decided to go workout. As I walked to the gym in the SNOW I smiled because I was proving to myself that I am REALLY dedicated this time. :-D
My mission for this week is to clean out my closet and rid myself of all things that are too small and those that are so old I probably will never wear them again. I have been wanting to give these clothes to charity for a while but I always am left with the What-ifs... What if I really lose weight this time and get into that size 6... I don't want to have thrown away things that I could have worn. But, after years of doing this, the clothes are older now (most still with tags though) and I probably should just let someone who can wear them NOW wear them.
And then there was that box.
The box in the floor of my closet that has been haunting me for quite a long time. I knew what was in it but still didn't want to open it until I knew that I had achieved my goals. In that box is probably 50 pairs of jeans that are too small for me. Size 6's, 8's, 10's.Some almost fit, some can get on but I am no where near zipping, and some might as well be ankle warmers because they are NOT getting up these thighs lol. [I actually wear a 10 now but they are tight and I wear some 12 Petites. ]
As I decided what to do with them I saw all my size 8's that I REALISTICALLY believe I will be able to wear again soon. So I have decided to keep them. Don't worry I have MANY MANY extra clothes to give away to charity. And I'm not going to keep every size 8 that I have. But those that are business pants, or really cute timeless jeans... I just want to keep them. A way of not giving up the hope. But I have made a promise. If I can't wear them by the time I graduate medical school in 5 months, they will be given away as well.
So that the next time I make foot prints in the snow on a wintery night headed to the gym for a late night workout, It will be BY CHOICE and not desperation. It will be because I love exercise- which I ALREADY do- and not because I know that I haven't reached my goals yet and I don't want to risk another year of not being successful. And most importantly because the next time I open that box, I want to SLIDE into a size 8 and wonder if there was really a time when they didn't fit.
Merry- day after- Christmas Spark buddies.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
I am proud of myself.
I am slowly making better decisions that will lead to my success.
I understand that no now means YES later.
I am proud of myself.
I have faced battles I thought I would lose.
Only to find, that in the end I win.
If I learn to have patience and discipline.
I am proud of myself.
Hmmm.. didn't intend to make that into a mini poem, it just sort of came out while writing. I basically just wanted to say, I STUCK TO MY CALORIES again today. I am READY to see my after. and I know I had been holding myself back. With excuses and fear and what ifs.
But I am ready. And watch out. Because when I GET READY... things change. (and of course, I trust God for the strength, discipline, and endurance I will need to REACH MY GOAL).
This is a short blog but I just wanted to tell someone that I am PROUD I stuck to my calorie goals. :-D That's a BIG step in the RIGHT direction. If I can do this most days... I will succeed! Tomorrow, I will do more exercise!
Friday, December 03, 2010
I took my test yesterday :-) And came home and got some rest basically! Today... I slept in til 1 pm... :-D It felt sooo great! Still sleepy though... I did 1 mile when I woke up. I treated myself to a movie today - last three years? - and bought a CD to celebrate finishing my exam! :)
This is a random blog so there is not point lol....
I've been thinking, I have been a cheerleader since I was 4 and I LOVE CHEERLEADING! So, a secret goal of mine is to try otu for a professional or Semi-pro cheerleading team once I graduate from medical school. I mean, there may be SOME free time in residency. And either way... trying out doesn't mean you'll be on the team. So... to achieve this goal, I FIRST have to get back to tip top shape, which I have been trying to do anyway! And I'm going to take adult dance classes so I can keep up with my dance moves.
Truth is, if I never get to try out for a team... it'll still be FUN to have a goal to strive towards that isn't SOLELY weight based!
Hope you all had a great week, I AM SOOOOOO happy to be done with that exam. Lord knows, I hope I did well!
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