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Self- Acceptance = no need to improve.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

I read this question on the message boards today and decided to post my opinion on it. It really made me think because this is something I struggled with and wrote about on my home page. Do I accept who I am OR try to changE?

Here was the response I posted:

" I have had the same dilemma for so long... I felt like either I was unhappy with myself and working out furiously to change my shape... OR I was 'accepting' myself by giving up on improving and eating junk. I have grown to realize that part of accepting who I am is to realize that I AM WORTH IT. I DESERVE TO BE HAPPY. I accept my hips- they are wide and sexy... to me! lol, I accept that my breasts have gotten bigger in the past year- no clue as to why, but hoping I don't get the family curse lol, and I will accept that I am 5'1- So I will never be a model and 10 pounds looks like 25 on me.

BUT I WILL NOT ACCEPT giving up on myself. I looked in the mirror and smiled today. Not because I am at my goal weight, but because I had just finished working out and knew that I was working towards a goal.

Accepting yourself= loving yourself enough to change what you can. And you CAN change your weight. But maybe not your shape. I'll be curvy forever. And, well... I like it! "


I will just add that I used to be embarassed by my curves and while I don't just go around flaunting them I can finally see that THIS IS ME! I LOVE who I am and I refuse to spend my life hiding and never truly living because I can't love me for me. So I hope you love you. If you don't who will. And I think it gets easier with practice. Fake it til you make it!

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On a different note, I'm doing a December challenge! So far so good. AND I'm going to a nutritionist for the first time ever tomorrow. Wish me luck!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANGELICASONGS 12/4/2008 6:22PM

    Hey!!!! That sounds like something a lot of people would think about at some time or another. I mean you really do have to accept yourself as you are, but at the same time you have to realize the benefits of change can be. I learned the hard way that even if you lose a lot weight, if you don't realize that you aren't the person you were before you'll always feel fat or not worth it, etc at any weight. So I gained a lot that weight back. But I did learn that I had to accept me as a person as I am now, so that after losing the weight I wouldn't still look in the mirror and think I'm still fat when I'm not...I guess it's also sort of like a state of mind and once you're in the right one, you'll lose the weight for the right reasons and maintain your weight a lot easier.

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PLATINUM755 12/3/2008 11:44PM

    Loved the blog...everyone needs to accept themself in the present, but the truth/honesty that comes from acceptance of where you are currently, physically and mentally, should be a motivating factor to continue to improve upon ourselves. You're a smart cookie, did you know that?

emoticon with the nutritionist and with the challenge!

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JCL129 12/3/2008 1:24PM

    I really enjoyed reading this post!
I'm having the same dilemma--I swing from working out to the point of exhaustion back to the other side of "I like me as I am" and pigging out!!

I needed to read this to reinforce what I already know...I need to love myself enough to change what needs to be changed, and accept what I can't change. And that I'm totally worth it!

Thanks for sharing!
emoticon
J.

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Lesson Learned

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Hi everyone! I just finished my test and I AM HAPPY it's over :-D I did well and I'm happy about it. Med school has taught me a lot that I can use in other aspects in my life...

1. Never, Never, Never give up!
2. Things may not come easy but with time and patience... wait let's be real... lol with time, tears, patience, prayer, perserverance, dedication, \enthusiasm and optimism YOU CAN DO ANYTHING you try!
3. Be creative. There is more than one way to skin a cat... (gross I know). But basically I'm saying do what works for you! If walking works, great! do that! If it's pilates... fine! If reading it 100 times or doing a billion questions helps you learn.. GREAT!
4. you have to Be true to yourself
5. Smile even when you don't want to. You never know who's watching but more importantly... YOU are the only one in control of your happiness.
6. Sometimes you have to fake it til you make it- not in reference to med school lol- BUT acting as if you have the chararcteristics you want, sometimes is enough to learn the skills needed to develop them! a.k.a. you are what you continuously do.
7. don't get discouraged. We can never be sure how things will turn out BUT having a positive attitude helps you handle the situation much better! Not to mention, you could be ONE step away from success... VICTORY is worth it! Nothing is sweeter than knowing you worked hard for something and got it. OR realizing that you did your absolute best and while you may not have gotten what you wanted you opened the door for many other possibilities!
8. YOU are MORe than capable and since I love the Lord, I like to say... there is NOTHING I can not do with God on my side. He never gives me more than I can handle.( Quite obviously, God trusts me a WHOLE lot... lol. )
9. Life goes on... DO NOT spend your entire life consumed with just ONE thing. Tomorrow comes and it is such a waste to be preoccupied with the things that can and will go wrong. Smile, take a deep breath and enjoy all of life's moments. seems cheesy but really you do learn something from every experience, good or bad. :-D
10. Be proactive and plan...If you want to workout in the a.m. but are too sleepy to wake up.. GO TO SLEEP! lol... really. We NEED sleep. and while I don't get as much as I want, I realize that I deserve rest-so do you!- and I am the only one who can protect my body. No sleep= cranky, forgetful, no energy to workout and takes longer to do EVERYTHING, and did I mention CRANKY!? And if you know you get too busy to exercise if you wait to do it a night, find another time to do it and protect that time!

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One last thing... My motto this week is "What you do in the dark comes out in the light" I am using this motto to remind me that the little choices I am making to eat right, eat fewer fried foods, relax when I'm under stress, pray, write in my journal, and exercise whenever I can may go unnoticed... BUT if I continue to put in these 'investements' they WILL pay off. Even if that payoff is only in the form of higher self esteem and confidence OR weight loss and balance in my life... it IS WORTH IT! If I neglect myself, no one will notice... for a while. But eventually a negative attitude, grouchiness, exhaustion and a rushed, stress-filled attitude will rear it's ugly head. So... it basically just reminds me that I'm doing this for a reason. And even if the outcome isn't immediate or what I expect my habits eventually show who I am and what I believe so...that's my motto and I like it! :-)

HAPPY THANKSGIVING! I just took a big test and I'm sleepy so enjoy your week! I'm FREE!!! YAY!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KATHYLM51 11/26/2008 7:51PM

    most of all we are fully ALIVE living this way and doing the things we used to do "in the dark" killed our heart and our soul. keep you the good work

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TRAINER_T 11/26/2008 5:50PM

    emoticonblog......LOVE this!


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PLATINUM755 11/26/2008 5:41PM

    Excellent LESSONS LEARNED! Hope you have a great Thanksgiving!

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Sober Thoughts at 4:45 a.m. :-)

Monday, November 24, 2008

Don't worry... I DID get some sleep last night. Went to bed at 11 but have really bad cramps so at 4:45 I realized I couldn't take them anymore... I got up and did my morning exercise and then studied/prepared for sch ool :-) I AM DEDICATED!!!! Lol... This is test week so basically I have to squeeze in workouts when I can because my MAIN goal this week is to pass this test and MED school is no joke :-) So... I'll write more later! Gonan take a 30 min nap before school.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

M.A.C. 11/25/2008 2:09PM

    Good luck with your test!

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GONABFIT 11/24/2008 8:00PM

    Thanks everyone for the support! I'm still up and studying... it's going to be a lonnng day but I think it's worth it in the long run... and I've been doing stairs and squats when I can b/c I won't be able to get in my scheduled strength training since I'm at the library!

LOL and I DO NOT KNOW WHAT THEY WERE THINKING!!! (referring to Gray's anatomy!) I hope that I will not be so desperate for experience that I would do surgery on myself.... lol!

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JCL129 11/24/2008 3:02PM

    ...now that's true dedication! All the best to you during test week...you can do it!

emoticon

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TRAINER_T 11/24/2008 12:23PM

    Yes you can have it all. You have the right mindset and once you start feeling more energy from your workouts you will see you goals in sight. I am very proud of your dedication and try not to let TOM take you down. Your a Rockstar, keep it up! emoticon

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ITSABOUTME2407 11/24/2008 12:06PM

    wishing you success on all your hard work emoticonhope u have a great week

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MUNDOFLOR 11/24/2008 7:38AM

  How cool! MED school!
I wish you much success.
AND what is up with those interns on Grey's Anatomy performing surgical procedures on themselves???

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The Aftermath

Saturday, November 15, 2008

As I sit here, throbbing from the pain I feel more than a sense of relief. I did it! blistered feet, sore muscles, aching joints and all. I just ran my 2nd marathon!!! I didn't train for it but should have. my pain told me that. lol. I'm anxiously awaiting my boyfriend and the ALEVE he's bringing with him... i'l write more when I'm feeling more rested or at least when the meds kick in!!! One last thing.... I started and finished my SECOND MARATHON!!! GO ME!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JCL129 11/17/2008 12:59PM

    emoticon emoticon

Somewhere inside me, there is a runner trying to get out....but I keep blocking all the exits. LOL!

Congrats on a job well done!

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Removing the Negative

Friday, November 14, 2008

I couldn't think of a good title. But I'ts 3:20 a.m. I just came to the conclusion for the umpteenth time that I need to remove the negative people and thoughts from my life. I'm trying to remember that " No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" but... when that is someone's main goal it's a little difficult to remember your worth... :-/ And I do realize that my self-worth/esteem should not be based on someone else's opinion and that honestly this is MY responsibility. I am responsible for my happiness or lack there of. But anyway, I am tired of dealing with situations that I know I would not stick around for if I felt like I had more options and confidence to get up and leave.

I'm keeping this vague because it is the internet and I have a diary for my MOST personal thoughts :-D.

Things I want to do:
1. remember my life is complete even if it is only me and God :-)
2. Become SO secure in myself and my capabilities that even someone TELLING me I can't do it, isn't enough to convince me.
3. REmove the negatvie people from my life slowly but surely.
4. Replace them with positive people.
5. In the mean while, develop things that I like that I can do alone
6. Spend MOST of my time with people I enjoy.
7. Be too busy to care.
8. Spend free time gained by removing negative people on improving myself and STUDYING! :-)
9. NEVER lose myself in a situation that becomes all-encompassing
10. Pray and SLEEP. (which I am going to do now! :-)
**BOnus- Do things that make me look and feel confident. :-)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MUNDOFLOR 11/24/2008 7:43AM

  "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent"

I used to carry this quote around with me in my twenties. I don't know exactly when it was that I removed it from my wallet. Maybe when I finally got it through my head.

I went through a sort of cleansing of negative people a few years ago. It can be painful when you have alot of history. But for some reason, some people want to bring you down when they're feeling low. It's a lesson in compassion.

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LILSHINE 11/14/2008 1:56PM

    I've learned and I know you're learning that negative folks bring ya down. I've gone as far as changing my work hours to avoid a negative body. I couldn't do it - slowly I just up and decided that today it ends. We have to take care of self and surround "self" with positives and things that enrich us. If I offer one bit of advice - remove negative people and things ASAP and you'll start to feel relief and feel better ASAP. Rather you realize it or not - negativity affects the body and your health. Keep focusing on your goals and I'm sure you'll heal quickly and revel in the beauty of positivity and peace.

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PLATINUM755 11/14/2008 11:29AM

    Really like the positive steps you listed to take care of yourself...stick to your plan and you'll reach you goal. It's all about feeling good about yourself!

"Happiness is a conscious choice, not an automatic response."--Mildred Barthel



Comment edited on: 11/14/2008 11:27:03 AM

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