Tuesday, August 24, 2010
You spread beauty where ever you go and believing in yourself allows others to believe in themselves. - gonabfit
I am doing this for Her
The 19 year old me. 138 lbs. Too embarrassed to actually wear this bathing suit in public! I was in HAWAII! and I did end up wearing a bathing suit in public, but not this one because I thought my stomach and thighs were too big.
the runner in me 8.24.10 - Just ran 5 miles... nothing like a good sweat to clear your mind
the young girl who was teased for being fat. Though looking back, I wasn't.
and For HER...
the me who KNEW nothing could stop me if I tried... and felt free to be. Before I was taught by the world, that it was NOT ok to be different. before I wasn't enough.
I'm doing this for the HER in me. The one who was too afraid to accept the curvy shape I was given at a young age, too insecure to truly be who I am, the one who longed to be the PRETTY one, the one who wanted so badly to be thought attractive and accepted, who wanted to be healthy, who wanted to be loved. To the HER who never felt like ENOUGH.
WELL, to HER I say, you are loved. You were loved before you knew what love was. You are LOVED despite your thighs, your hips, your stomach-that is not completely flat OR a 6-pack. You are LOVED because you are beautiful. and the sooner you believe it, the sooner you can thrive in this journey called LIFE... because truly it does not matter what others think of you. I will tell HER that they are fighting their own battles, and even if they say hurtful things, it stems from their insecurities and weakness, not yours! Happy people don't go around hurting others. So send them a prayer and HOLD YOUR head UP. If I can do it for HER, I can do it for me.
Looking at the 19 year old Hawaiian me, I just think... It is soo sad that even then I felt self-conscious about my weight... that's how I know this is more of a self-healing journey than a weight loss thing. I was beautiful... and I SHOULD have flaunted every bit of the beautiful body I was given.... and even looking at the pictures of myself now, I know I am not satisfied but I DO NOT LOOK THAT BAD. I am going to APPRECIATE where I AM NOW, while I strive to improve myself... because tomorrow is not promised. And each day is a chance to enjoy ALL that I am. Now. at this moment.
why are YOU doing this?