Thursday, August 19, 2010
I've said it before and I'll say it again... when I DISCIPLINE myself to just DO IT, it almost always leads me to happiness~!
I went to bed VERY late and was supposed to work out @ 6 am but that would have given me very few hours... and I overslept.
[ I'd like to interject to say... as much as I VALUE sleep... sometimes I personally find it VERY uplifting to tend to my soul when it is troubled lol... so I laid in bed for a while was unable to sleep and instead decided to read uplifting quotes, pray, and do a little more studying so that when I did get sleepy again, I would have a clear conscious. and... it worked. I am having a great day now despite missing a LITTLe sleep. I've been sleeping 9 hours a night these days . :-) ]
instead of pouting about it and ruining an ENTIRE day for ONE mistake... I CHOSE (operative word) to suck it up, shower and head to the LIB (library for short lol)!
because I had to drop the boytoy(fiance) off at work (he's working near wear I study) and we had limited time, I had to leave the house with no BREAKFAST! GASP!!
-- thankfully, something must have clicked recently because I BYPASSED MCDONALDS, I did not panic, get pissed and cancel the entire study session I had planned from fear of FUTURE hunger (have done that before, when worried I'd be stuck in the LIB with no food for HOURS...) and decided to stay calm, get some coffee and a SUB (footlong ham). So that lasted my entire study session.
*not letting a few minor setbacks ruin my day!
*walking past the cookie and brownie table - THEY WERE FREE- and feeling HAPPY about it
*driving past MCDONALDS
*choosing to walk after leaving the LIB though I was tired, my eyes hurt, and I was in pants... I love to sweat... but ONLY in workout clothes! LOL... I sucked it up today. So take that!
*choosing to Exercise though I had NO PHONE, NO IPOD and NO distractions! ::double GASP:: exercising with just..... nature!? actually ended up being beautiful! It was quickly became a gratitude walk, and instead of focusing on what I didn't have and why the walk wouldn't be great, I CHOSE to smile, hold my head up and be thankful for all the things I DID have at that moment, you know, like AIR to breath, legs to walk, a God to look over me and keep me safe, a break for my tired brain... lol, I could go on and on.... but I want. ::sigh of relief::
* It's only 5 pm... but I wanted to go ahead and write my blog so I can check it off my list!
Sunday, August 15, 2010
There's a gospel song that I really love. And the lyrics are, sometimes you have to encourage yourself. Sometimes you have to speak victory during the test. No matter how you feel, speak the Word and you will be healed. Speak over yourself, encourage yourself in the Lord...
And, well I believe this is SO relevant to weight loss.
we, well I often look to others for encouragement... and that's great! That's the main reason I love spark... there is always someone here who has been where I've been or is where I want to go. yet, at the same time... I think there comes a time when I have to reach in and figure out why I feel how I feel... and encourage myself to get this job done. To find what makes me happy... and go out a get it!! :-)
lol. and then run on here to tell you all about it.
This morning I woke up feeling fat, depressed, and over all overwhelmed. Obviously, it was just a wave of bad emotions because 2 days ago I felt fine, proud of my progress and like I was on the right track. So the only difference MUST be how I FEEL about how I look, and not actually HOW I LOOK.
So I've decided. That YES it is true that the scale is not moving... that I have not reached my weight loss goals despite trying for a very long time, that my clothes don't ALL fit the way I like them... but it is ALSO true that each day I stick to my goals, I am much closer. Each time I try again, I'm more likely to succeed. That I am under a lot of stress already with school and non stop expectations (some given to myself, some expected by others) so I need to give myself a break.
It's true that I am in CONTROL of my actions more than I am in control of my weight, and if I continue to make the right actions eventually my weight will come into submission (LOL.) It is true that I AM CHOOSING to lose weight, workout, eat in a different way. No one has MADE ME do this. No one can make me do it. So, instead of feeling depressed because I have to eat differently, workout constantly, etc... I can make a choice to do it or don't do it... but not to feel obligated.
Isn't that a great realization!? We are CHOOSING to get in shape. So why not be happy about it!? Each step of the way!?
Why not wake up with a HUGE smile because today I CAN choose what foods I want to eat and know that either way ( burger king crossanwich or bagel + egg whites) I choose the outcome I want.
I am choosing dedication over despair. And MY attitude will just have to get on board. and the pounds... well, I guess they will do what they want. but 6 months from now... when my challenge is over....well, I will look back and smile knowing that I CHOSE to be exactly WHO I wanted to be.
I just hope she is a thinner version of me. :-)
Thanks for reading.
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