Thursday, July 29, 2010
~*~ Nothing like an opportunity to smile ~*~
and then, there was love.
Not perfect love, maybe not quite a flawless relationship... but sincere, I'll be there when you need me... mad or not, type of love.
Isn't life ironic? When you decide you'd rather be alone than unhappy... and you pray to God to give you the strength to make it alone... and he does. Just then, He also gives you what you truly wanted all along. :-)
and what is it that I truly wanted.... hmm, as a strong woman (and I consider myself a do-it-myself , can make a way with whatever I've got, make it happen type of girl) I find it embarrassing to admit, but what I truly wanted was love and marriage... and yep one day, a baby carriage or 2 or 3. lol
~*~ Trying the ring on... King Cesar decided he wanted to be petted during the pic LOL~*~
And though things haven't always been perfect, I'm happy to say I'M ENGAGED!!!! So now, my bikini bombshell bootcamp may have to morph into, a BIKINI (BRIDAL) BOMBSHELL BOOTCAMP. or maybe I'll just say the Bombshell Bootcamp to make it shorter :-)
Either way... still will be 6 months long and I'm still aiming for 5-7 lbs per month! I've made my 7lbs for JULY!!! WOOHOOO! And did I tell you all, I turned 25 on the 23rd? :-D
So My bikini BOMBSHELLL bootcamp is in FULL effect and I actually wore that bathing suit on the beach! and yep... I Looked GOOOD. lol. Not perfect, not 115 lbs like I'd hoped... but good, in a sexy bombshell with hips kinda way!
~*~ spent my entire vacay reading Eat Pray Love!~*~
I took some days off to enjoy my bday but still have been staying active doing lots of walking. I'm back and going to hit the ground running! Bought a new book on nutrition and will be doing lots of exercise videos when I'm stuck in the house! I am studying for boards the entire month of August... and will use exercise as my release.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Let me start by thanking you ALL for reading my last blog and supporting me. I appreciate your kind messags. I'll keep you updated, but I'll likely not say too much more about it, just because I am choosing to focus on the things I KNOW and the things I can control. And until I hear more back from the dr, I will choose to believe that everything is going to be OK. And either way... I will ENJOY each day that I am given because every day is a gift. Not a promise. and like always, I'm going to LIVE IT TO THE FULLEST! [p.s. I getting a second opinion and hopefully quicker follow up :-) ]
yesterday was a good day for exercise for me! I did my AM workout AND a pm workout burned ~ 700 cals total. Ate pretty good too ~ 1500 cals or so. I did have a brownies sundae... homemade. and yes, it was stress eating. but I skipped dinner to make room for it. Credit for yesterday
* I packed oats for breakfast and 2 boiled eggs :-) Only ate one yolk!
* ate the LUNCH I packed! (this is a big deal... because at one point, I'd go through the trouble of packing food, only to get to school and buy fast food instead. crazy, I know... but i'm doing better)
** today- was exhausted, emotionally from crying... and woke up late. BUT I put on my pedometer and took the stairs, came home and did my new jump rope routine!! :-) Worked up a GREAT sweat... doesn't seem like I'm burning that many cals with the jump rope... but it seems like a GREAT workout either way cause I sweat a lot and BOXERS do the jump rope and are really fit. And I don't jump slow. I'm basically going in hyper speed. lol. I like to pretend lile I'm a boxer and jump REALLY REALLY fast. and I'm learning jump rope tricks LOL ( like double jump and crossing arms, etc)
Strength? Not today. I did do some jumps for cheerleading. I am going to cheer on my college alumni team. ;-) GO ME!
My inspirational thought for the day:
We all have the power to choose. At one point in school I got really overwhelmed .As I look back over the hard times in my life I realize that often we are being unfair to ourselves. When facing things that seem difficult, instead of looking at how much we have to accomplish and getting discouraged, CHOOSE to focus on things that bring you closer to your goal. Don't focus on all the reasons that THIS time may not be different. Zoom in on the things that make this time different. Are you more focused? More willing to ask for help? Aware of more resources?
Does it benefit you to put yourself down every time you walk by the mirror? Would you do better to walk by and say, truthfully, that I am SO PROUD that I am taking time to improve my image.
We have the power to choose our thoughts. Isn't that a gift? I think so. Each day I will awaken and choose to believe that this day is yet another chance to become more of the woman I would like to be. Another chance to learn from those in my life and find new ways to respect and celebrate who I am.
We can reach our goals. Together. Now, let's make it happen.
Monday, July 19, 2010
So... this has been a peculiar day. today is actually the 9th anniversary of my daddy's death. He died 4 days before my sixteenth birthday... so while my friends were expecting to attend my "sweet 16th" bday party... we were planning my dad's funeral... which took place the day after my bday (had to almost beg/fight my uncles to not have him buried on my actual bday :-( )
and I was in a good place this morning. Enjoying life where I am... choosing to live it to the fullest. All day I looked forward to getting home and going for a run before studying and preparing for my test Thursday... and birthday Friday( and spending some time with someone who makes me feel alive and loved). I was even proud that I took the time to make a GYN appt for my annual... because I NEVER get time off from school to get my health checked out :-) Talk about Ironic. lol. I had to *sneak* away after class to go to the doc. Not an emergency visit or anything but you know it's important to get that yearly check up :-D.
So, as I put in my status earlier today some random lady said, " Oh, (the other nurse) was asking me if you were pregnant... you know, because well maybe your scrub top made you look pregnant... and I told her,' you BETTER not be because you are not married'."
... this was such a STRANGE comment because 1. I definitely do NOT look pregnant in the scrub top! LOL. I mean really. My stomach isn't a 6 pack but it's not a mile from my back either! lol. 2. what is it HER business if I was!?!?!? I'm a GROWN woman! and 3. Again what does it matter to her if I married or not! Now I personally want to be married before I have children, and I'm not pregnant... but I've only known these ppl 1.5 weeks. That was out of line.
To add insult to injury... I got some bad news today. Well maybe it won't be bad in the long run... but the doctor found a lump in my breast. And not a "oh don't worry about it, thing..." More like a, well "I'm not sure what it is... but it is, strange. Come back in 2 months. We will get a mammogram if it's still there."
But see. I'm in medical school. And I know, if it's nothing, the doctor will say it's nothing. And I also know that a hard glandular object that is not movable in your breast is not a good sign. Also, mammograms are not good tests for a young, dense breast... but are often used to rule out cancer along with ultrasounds..... I'm trying not to over react... because LORD KNOWS I'm praying that this is nothing... but I'm telling you. My heart broke when I felt him feel the lump, and heard him say "hmmm.... we need to keep a close eye on this."
Here I am, at 24... 4 days before my 25th birthday and now... Like all of a sudden, I had to come to grips with, am I going to die? Is this breast cancer? am I going to die before I ever get married, have children, live life without worrying about a test every month!? I mean... gee whiz...
Sorry, this is a dull post. I'm still happy, and optimistic... just feeling a little down after the breast exam. Please pray for me.
___ On another note, I woke up at 5:30 am and did 800 jumps on my jump rope and kick boxing. I'll probably still do the stairs and run that I had been looking forward to all day. Sigh... I have enough on my plate. don't want to worry about my health too.
After I workout... and get some rest, I will write a better blog. Bye guys.
ETA: Have an appt scheduled for next week w/ different DOC. actually immediately scheduled it after the 1st appt. Thanks for all of the advice :) Love ya sparkies! **
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