Monday, July 19, 2010
So... this has been a peculiar day. today is actually the 9th anniversary of my daddy's death. He died 4 days before my sixteenth birthday... so while my friends were expecting to attend my "sweet 16th" bday party... we were planning my dad's funeral... which took place the day after my bday (had to almost beg/fight my uncles to not have him buried on my actual bday :-( )
and I was in a good place this morning. Enjoying life where I am... choosing to live it to the fullest. All day I looked forward to getting home and going for a run before studying and preparing for my test Thursday... and birthday Friday( and spending some time with someone who makes me feel alive and loved). I was even proud that I took the time to make a GYN appt for my annual... because I NEVER get time off from school to get my health checked out :-) Talk about Ironic. lol. I had to *sneak* away after class to go to the doc. Not an emergency visit or anything but you know it's important to get that yearly check up :-D.
So, as I put in my status earlier today some random lady said, " Oh, (the other nurse) was asking me if you were pregnant... you know, because well maybe your scrub top made you look pregnant... and I told her,' you BETTER not be because you are not married'."
... this was such a STRANGE comment because 1. I definitely do NOT look pregnant in the scrub top! LOL. I mean really. My stomach isn't a 6 pack but it's not a mile from my back either! lol. 2. what is it HER business if I was!?!?!? I'm a GROWN woman! and 3. Again what does it matter to her if I married or not! Now I personally want to be married before I have children, and I'm not pregnant... but I've only known these ppl 1.5 weeks. That was out of line.
To add insult to injury... I got some bad news today. Well maybe it won't be bad in the long run... but the doctor found a lump in my breast. And not a "oh don't worry about it, thing..." More like a, well "I'm not sure what it is... but it is, strange. Come back in 2 months. We will get a mammogram if it's still there."
But see. I'm in medical school. And I know, if it's nothing, the doctor will say it's nothing. And I also know that a hard glandular object that is not movable in your breast is not a good sign. Also, mammograms are not good tests for a young, dense breast... but are often used to rule out cancer along with ultrasounds..... I'm trying not to over react... because LORD KNOWS I'm praying that this is nothing... but I'm telling you. My heart broke when I felt him feel the lump, and heard him say "hmmm.... we need to keep a close eye on this."
Here I am, at 24... 4 days before my 25th birthday and now... Like all of a sudden, I had to come to grips with, am I going to die? Is this breast cancer? am I going to die before I ever get married, have children, live life without worrying about a test every month!? I mean... gee whiz...
Sorry, this is a dull post. I'm still happy, and optimistic... just feeling a little down after the breast exam. Please pray for me.
___ On another note, I woke up at 5:30 am and did 800 jumps on my jump rope and kick boxing. I'll probably still do the stairs and run that I had been looking forward to all day. Sigh... I have enough on my plate. don't want to worry about my health too.
After I workout... and get some rest, I will write a better blog. Bye guys.
ETA: Have an appt scheduled for next week w/ different DOC. actually immediately scheduled it after the 1st appt. Thanks for all of the advice :) Love ya sparkies! **
Sunday, July 18, 2010
This will be short because I am studying for my test Thursday...
I hear people say it all the time... I SAY IT all the time. But I need to listen to my body. I was tired last night.... likely because I am sleeping on average 4-5 hours a night. Medical school requires us to work 12-14 hours days, 6 days a week. With this being test week... it means my life is basically centered around school. But I still need time to sleep. So, I finally gave in, reluctantly I must admit, and went and laid down at 9 pm (Saturday night) . I worked 30 hours from Friday am to Saturday afternoon. I woke up this am and felt a little more refreshed... so I have been up studying since I woke up. The test is Thursday... the day before my 25th bday. And I just took a test Friday! -Not complaining though because, thank God I am following my dream.
I'm going to take time to exercise today... running, jumping rope, and strength training. And I'm going to give my self 90 minutes to do it. I can afford 90 mins for my mental/physical well being.
Oh and the reason I started this blog was to say.... I just learned that one of my small handfuls of walnuts = 1 OZ!
** I'm eating healthy and limiting bread and fries from my diet for the next week at least! lol... my 25th bday is coming and I want to do a "last workout" challenge til then.
Breakfast @ 9 am= oatmeal w 3 teaspoons of brown sugar, 1 teaspoon of butter. + one fried egg
snack @ 1:10 pm = apple and 1 oz of walnuts [ small snack because I'm about to workout]
Friday, July 16, 2010
1. I made a decision today to focus on telling myself the reasons WHY I CAN do something, instead of focusing on the reasons why I can't.
2. I studied for my test tomorrow, prepared and practice, and now am choosing to walk in faith and CONFIDENCE that I know what I am doing. And am ready to RAWK this test! lol
3. I only ate ONE slice of pie ( I made a sweet potato pie, it was the bomb!)
4. I packed oats to eat at work for breakfast. just added water and found a microwave
5. I took time to go to a ZUMBA class to relieve stress before studying
6. took time to meditate and pray.
7. Ate healthy, exercised, and journaled.
8. took time to sweep and MOP my kitchen floor... and washed dishes... on a test day. PROGRESS! lol :-)
Have a great night everyone! Just giving myself credit for the hard work I am doing. Sometimes it's easy to focus on what MORE we need to do, when really we should sit back and look at how much we have done!
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
So it's been 2 months since my last "official" measurement and I've lost 13.5 inches!!! WOO HOO!! only lost 3 lbs officially though.
Just wanted to throw that out there. Pretty excited. Hoping to see more inches AND POUNDS each month until I reach my goal!! My new goal is to make my STOMACH my FAVORITE body part. Now, THAT, will be a challenge! I'm ready for it!
Most of my inches came from my thighs.
Lost 1.5 inches from hips! and .25 from waist!
- 2.5 inch on left thigh, -2.75 lbs on right thigh.
-2 inches on biggest part of upper thigh L/ -2.2.5 on R biggest part of thigh
** I measure different areas of my thighs to see how they go down b/c my legs are curvy... like me! LOL
(p.s. I didn't include all of the areas measured... lol. so I knoo that this doesn't add up to 13.5 lol)
Gotta go, need to study. Just wanted to update!
Love you all my sparkfriends, - gonabfit, the Beautiful Bombshell
Get An Email Alert Each Time GONABFIT Posts