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Still Crawling

Saturday, November 09, 2013

Weight loss was so much easier when I was single. I had the motivation. I had the time. Now what I have are excuses.

I can't work out today. I worked all day and dinner is ready and I'm tired.

Mmmm....candy. It's okay to eat it all. My husband doesn't care. He won't say anything about it.

Drink ALL the sodas!!!!!

I must say that I am so much better about eating than I was BY (Before Yoda). BY I would stop at a fast food place for every meal. I never drank water. I thought that creamy soups were a food group (not really, but I ate them as if they were). I was depressed, had low self-esteem, and hid from people because I felt as though I looked terrible.

Now I may weigh more than I'd like, but I don't think I look terrible. I can still see the changes I made. I know how to lose weight. I know the choices to make, the food to eat, and the cardio/weights to do in order to change myself.

It's just not high on my priorities list.

I wish there was a switch to flip to turn on the motivation.

I still have my excuses.

I'll start after NaNoWriMo.

I'll work out on the weekends.

I need to wait until I feel better.

It's too cold.

At least I'm recognizing that they are excuses and not valid reasons, right? Because the last thing in the world that I want to do is to forget how to better myself. I don't want to wake up ten years from now and realize that my excuses snowballed into a giant blinding boulder that stopped me from seeing my truths.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANONSI 11/11/2013 3:39PM

    I agree: It's so easy to fall back out of exercise routines!

Try incorporating exercise into things that you already enjoy doing. We have an exercise bike in our living room, so I'll often sit there and bike while we're having tv time. It's not fast, and it's not the best workout in the world or anything, but at least I'm moving instead of just sitting there.

Perhaps you can do something similar and work exercise into nano. For instance, I bet you have some writer's block moments. Stand up from the computer during those moments and do a few squats or crunches while you think. Take a walk around the block, or if it's cold, etc., walk up and down stairs or around your house for a few laps. Maybe try a few jumping jacks.

This way, you're not looking at huge chunk of time that you have to magically find for workouts, you're just doing a minute or two here and there. Those minutes really add up but aren't quite so daunting!

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HARRINGTON5 11/9/2013 6:00PM

    You are right, it's a start.

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JUSGETTENBY42 11/9/2013 1:02PM


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My Baby Steps Are More Like a Crawl

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Guess how many times I have worked out since I got married at the beginning of August.....

Is your guess higher than ten? Then it's wrong.

Is it higher than five??? Also wrong.

The correct number is ONE. Seriously. One. Actually it should be zero because the one time I worked out I was just going through the motions and not actually doing much of anything.

But you know what? That's okay. That's where I was at.

Before I worked out to get fit, but that wasn't REALLY the reason. I worked out because I was single and thought I needed to lose weight in order to attract friends (especially guys).

I'm not saying that it was a bad reason. It was a decision I was making for myself and I wasn't beating myself up about it. Sometimes we need an extra push to do healthier things and that was my push.

Then I met a guy, got engaged, and got married. Suddenly it didn't matter anymore. Nate loves me no matter what I look like, so I can skip the gym now. I can eat whatever I want, whenever I want.

I will tell you this secret though.....I don't enjoy fast food anymore. I think it tastes terrible. It makes me feel sick to my stomach. I crave homemade foods - not always healthy ones, but in my opinion anything homemade is better than a fast food number.

I drink a lot of soda, but not like I did before. Years ago I could finish a dozen cans in a few hours. Now one or two and I'm done for the day. Yes, I know that losing the soda would help me lose a few pounds, but I enjoy it.

So, my new program is portion control. I'm not going to count calories or measure my food out or any of that anymore. It was driving me crazy and I always felt like I was depriving myself of things that I liked. Now, if I want a cheeseburger and cheese fries then I will have them. If I get full after half of it, then I won't force myself to finish it like I have done in the past.

I want to create a way to live my life and be happy and healthy without the constant worry about calories and grams, trying to figure out just how long I'd have to be on the treadmill in order to eat a piece of pizza.

I need balance in my life and I will create that!


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

INGBADEN 11/5/2013 8:55PM

    So happy for you

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SERENEART 10/29/2013 8:49AM

    You look so beautiful! The pictures are gorgeous! Congratulations on your marriage. Yes, I think for about the same time frame I have only exercised once. I'm glad to see you back.

I agree with the fast food....most of the time now I don't care for it. It's just icky. I would rather make it at home.

emoticon emoticon

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STFRENCH 10/26/2013 8:23AM

    Lovely photos! Thanks for sharing emoticon

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JCARDINAL 10/24/2013 12:27PM

    Congratulations!! You look beautiful!!

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SHRINKING_SARA 10/23/2013 9:57PM

    Congrats -- you look so beautiful in your dress!

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YENDUCHAKA 10/23/2013 8:30AM

    Balance is a great goal to have. You've definitely made progress in that department.
Thanks for sharing your wedding photos. It looks like you had beautiful day! I love your dress btw!

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    Hope that works for you.

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ARUNNINGKAT 10/22/2013 5:57PM

    Forward movement is still forward movement! Doing what you can and when you can is better than nothing at all. emoticon Congrats on your marriage and a beautiful wedding!

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BRYANBABY3 10/22/2013 4:33PM

    It looks like it was a beautiful wedding. And also each day is a new day and every little bit helps!!

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BEATLETOT 10/22/2013 4:31PM

    What a lovely wedding! But I want a closeup shot of the bride!

Congratulations on your marriage! I hope that your new plan still involves us. =)

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STUFFNEARTABOR 10/22/2013 4:25PM

    Every little bit counts - just keep going!

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Baby Steps Back Here

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Has it really been this long since I've logged in here??


Have I strayed that much?

Yep. I really have. Things got in the way and I have no excuse except that I made choices and weight loss wasn't high on my priority list.

I'm married now. Yup. There's a guy out there who loves me no matter what weight I am or what I look like. Of course, he wants the best for me and encourages me to be my best.

I'm trying to be a little bit better each day, and my first step is coming back here. So, SparkFriends, hello!! I've missed you!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TWINZMOM7 10/20/2013 7:23PM

  Welcome back!! So glad to see another member of this team! Congrats....you can do it!

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MEH50BEWELL 10/17/2013 10:18AM

    Great to see a blog from you again! Many congrats to you and new hubby!

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LYNSEY723 10/16/2013 8:09PM

    Congrats and welcome back!!!

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LPRUNWALK 10/16/2013 2:50PM

    Welcome back! I've taken breaks from SP too, and have twice found my way back. Each time it seems to get a little easier to remember and stay focused on my goals. Maybe you can think of SP as your wedding gift to yourself! Congrats and best of luck.

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PIPPAMOUSE 10/16/2013 1:36PM

    Hello, Welcome back. Congrats on getting married.

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ARUNNINGKAT 10/16/2013 11:36AM

    Welcome back and congrats on the marriage!! We need wedding pics! emoticon

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HUSKERLAND3 10/16/2013 11:29AM

    Good work and welcome back.

the guy isn't Yoda is it?

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ANONSI 10/16/2013 10:58AM


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KAKAKALI4 10/16/2013 9:24AM

    Congrats girl! That is awesome! Me too .. back 3 weeks and I am feeling great! I am setting attainable goals - because life is so busy - plan yours the same! Always awesome to see your blogs! Go Girl!

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YENDUCHAKA 10/16/2013 7:51AM

    So glad you're back!!!

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WATOGA17 10/16/2013 7:15AM

    Congratulations on your marriage and Welcome Back!

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LULUBELLE65 10/16/2013 6:32AM

    Welcome home!

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    Congrats and welcome back!

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THELILEA 10/15/2013 11:54PM

    Congratulations on your marriage!! So nice to see your face again! I'm back, too, but after a much LONGER hiatus. It's feeling great to be back . :D

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Thursday, June 06, 2013

I know, I know. I said I'd blog photos of my gym. I keep waiting for it to be perfect and pretty before I take the photos.

Then I weighed myself. I have GAINED 2 pounds. Yup. You heard me.....GAINED.

So I thought about all the things I've been doing. I've worked out more in the last few weeks than I did over five months. It wasn't a ton thanks to sickness and wedding planning, but it was more than usual. I haven't been eating great, but I have been eating less.

Then I realized something. I've been putting my healthy habits behind the I'll-Do-It-Better-When-My-Situation-Is-Bet
ter wall just like the gym photos. I'll eat better when I'm not so busy. I'll work out more when the gym is more organized. I'll stop drinking soda when I start working out every day. Mmmmm, ice cream would be delicious thanks. I deserve it because I've been so busy planning the wedding. I had a bad day, so I'm just going to hit the drive-thru on my way home. I'll eat better when I feel better.

I'm so busy rewarding or consoling myself that I don't even think about healthy foods. That last sentence really hit me hard just now.

I'll eat better when I feel better.

I do this all the time. I'm tired or sore or sick, so I do the "easy" thing and pick up fast food on the way home.

But it actually keeps me feeling yucky. I can't get healthy if I'm not giving myself healthy foods. I'm keeping myself in a state of yuckiness because it seems easier than chopping some vegetables up.

How ridiculous am I??

So I'm still trying, but with more knowledge and eyes that are opened more. Tonight I WILL take pictures of my gym. You should expect a picture blog tomorrow. If not, you will know that I am slacking again and you should hold me accountable for that. I'll hold myself accountable too, but sometimes it's easy to let myself off the hook.

In less weight-lossy news, I'm going to Disney World! Really! That's where we decided to go for our honeymoon. I'm very excited because thirteen years ago I worked there for four months and I haven't been back since.

Also, next Thursday they have scheduled the installation of the hot tub at the new house!!

In kinda annoying news, I still haven't started looking for a wedding dress. I hate the way I look in dresses and I hate my weight and I hate shopping and I hate trying on clothes, so shopping for a wedding dress is going to be an emotional day that I keep putting off. In fact, I keep asking my mom if I can just wear jeans to the reception but she says no. She thinks no one will know I'm the bride if I'm not in a wedding dress. I told her that I can wear a tiara. She still says no. *sigh*

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BLUELEO26 6/7/2013 7:35PM

    Wedding dresses are different. The sooner you go the better chances you can find one/get one made. I hate clothes shopping too. But wedding dress shopping? It's their job to make you feel pretty. It's a right of passage and an awesome experience that you shouldn't deny your self. I am sending good wedding dress vibes your way!

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KELLY19770 6/7/2013 4:23AM

    I also was at my heaviest at my wedding. So much stress.
Btw, Congrats on the upcoming nuptials!!

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LEAHLEGS 6/6/2013 4:27PM

    I was heavier at my wedding than at any other point in my life. I ate and ate and ate beforehand, to deal with stress, and because it was delicious. My wedding pictures turned out to be really really expensive before pictures....

I always tell people to stop the excuses now, before you just can't stop. I wish I would have exercised some self control before my wedding, so I didn't have to work so hard afterwords!!

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LYNSEY723 6/6/2013 1:15PM

    You will find the perfect wedding dress!! You will find something that looks great on you and makes you feel amazing. USE THIS TIME TO YOUR ADVANTAGE!!! I only had 4 weeks between getting engaged and getting married - I lucked into finding a dress for me that didn't need to be tailored. Use the time you have to find the dress that makes you feel like the princess you are!!!!

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TORIAMAE 6/6/2013 12:40PM

    You will look like yourself in your wedding dress. You will look like the woman your pre-husband fell in love with. In fact, that is who you look like now. So, do what you want to do about the exercise, eating, whatever. But you are a bride! Enjoy that and don't let how you look steal that from you.

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CECE0330 6/6/2013 12:28PM

    How ridiculous are you? Well, just as ridiculous as me! I could have written this blog myself, and I try to sometimes pretend that I don't do this. Or my favorite: "I will do better tomorrow"

Ha, and it's YOUR wedding, so I say wear what you want! emoticon
But seriously, I was 205 lbs (at 5'4" on a GOOD day) when I got married in a small ceremony (just 50 people, married in an old farm house with reception on site) and I chose to wear a long skirt and turtleneck sweater (we were married 3 days before Christmas) and now? 11 years later, I wish I would have taken some time to find a traditional wedding dress that I liked, because the opportunity to wear a fancy dress simply has not come up since. emoticon One thing I've heard is, find a dress you're OK with, then have it altered to really suit your comfort level. Good luck!

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KENDRACARROLL 6/6/2013 12:25PM

    Eat better - feel better, that's usually the way it works, not the other way around :)
Hope you'll be able to get back into the groove.

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ARUNNINGKAT 6/6/2013 12:20PM

    Looking forward to seeing those pictures! And yes, it is so easy to wait until the "perfect" time to start eating healthy or working out. emoticon

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TLG71567 6/6/2013 11:28AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon Try to enjoy shopping for your wedding dress. It should be a special occasion. As far as the reception is concerned, maybe you could add some lace and rhinestones to your jeans. LOL Good luck.

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Don't Want To Workout? Get Bronchitis.

Thursday, May 30, 2013

A few weeks ago, I recommitted. I told myself that I was going to get back into my healthy habits. I'd eat right and work out.

What happened?

Bronchitis. Yep. So no working out for this chick. I felt ok most of the time - a bit tired here and there sometimes. But any time I did anything even remotely physical - run, lift things, walk from the couch to the bathroom, speak more than 4 words at a time - I'd start coughing this weird, airy cough that would then continue for hours.

It was stupid. Seriously. I wasn't throwing up. I wasn't in bed sleeping all the time. But it set me back.

Yoda wasn't happy, but it was more of an I-feel-sorry-for-you than a You're-being-a-wimp thing.

So I haven't done much this past week except go to work, watch tv, and sleep.

This doesn't bode well for June 8th's 5K. But I signed up for it anyway.

Granted, I could have eaten better this week. I ate okay thanks to portion control, but when walking across a room brings on hours of coughing, one doesn't really want to stand in the kitchen cooking. Nathan was very helpful, cooking and cleaning. But I still could have done better.

Next time, I will. But this week, I'm calling it a win. I think I still even managed to lose 2 pounds!

I meet with Yoda tonight for a workout. We're playing it by ear and if I start to cough then we're shortening the session.

Also, my gym at the house is DONE!!! I shall take pictures tonight and I'll post all about it tomorrow!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LULUBELLE65 5/31/2013 9:03AM

    What about swimming? When I am not feeling well, it's sometimes nice to be in the water. And then you can steam room afterwards.

Feel batter!

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IMREITE 5/31/2013 12:31AM

    i'd rather force myself to workout. the hard part for me is starting. once i am moving, i am doing well.

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ARUNNINGKAT 5/30/2013 5:41PM

    Sorry about the cough! That is no fun at all! Can't wait to see pictures of the new home gym! Very excited for you!

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