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Not blogging...

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

I've been checking in with all my spark friends and have noticed that no one seems to be blogging lately. I like to see how they are doing or what they are thinking and so often I find similar thoughts. I haven't blogged lately either and realized that the reason is because I didn't want to say that I am frustrated.

I have been really trying and not seeing any results lately. My hubby weighs me every Monday and this time I wanted to scream with anguish as I didn't lose anything for another week....

He keeps telling me that I look great and has even said numerous times that if I don't lose any more weight that I still look fabulous to him.

Losing the weight isn't about how he sees me. Its about me feeling healthy and being in the normal weight range for my height and age. Its about me achieving the goal I want. Its about getting thru these tough stretches and perservering. Its about taking control of my health in a way that is sustainable.

Of course I feel his love and support but sometimes our family and friends don't want to see us frustrated or hurting and say things or do things that literally don't make it easier. He even went out to the bakery and got me some pasteries. I didn't eat them. He is so very thin. He is trying to gain weight. I am buying all kinds of things to fatten him up and this makes it so hard for me because I can't purge my environment so its safe.

O well tomorrow is another day and I am going to keep blogging....

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EMMANYC 3/26/2011 10:44AM

    I'm sorry that the God of the Scale is not showing you any love. Have you been tracking your measurements? The changes show up a bit more slowly (when I was losing weight I usually noticed small changes every 3 weeks or so), but they are stable changes. And for many people, they lose inches even when their weight loss plateaus for a while.

As for your husband working on weight gain, have you considered taking an approach where the food he eats to gain weight isn't so tempting - and is healthier than pastries, etc? For example, healthy calorie-dense foods like healthy oils, nuts and seeds, complex grains, fattier fish, small servings of cheese, etc can really make a difference in a person's calorie intake. These foods are healthy options for gaining weight - and are likely to be less tempting for you. So the two of you could basically eat the same food, but with a few differences in portion size and also some extras. For example:

Dinner: Healthy, fatty fish (salmon, tuna) - 6 oz portion for him, 3 oz portion for you. Side serving of brown rice (1.5 cups for him, .75 cup for you. Salad, with yours dressed with one teaspoon of an olive oil-based dressing, and his dressed with two teaspoons, plus a tablespoon of toasted pinenuts and a few slices of avocado. (For you, one teaspoon of pine nuts if you want and a half slice of avocado.)

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HELLOSEWEIGHT 3/26/2011 9:32AM

    Hey there,

I lose about 1 lb. a week, but then I know that I don't exactly stick to the calorie count and I haven't been doing the exercise I need to do to get more impressive results. Slow but sure is just as good as fast and impressive.

End of term, loads of work and spending most of my Spark time entering foods that aren't part of the system = no blogging. Only so many hours in a day, eh?

Never give up. I admire that you are in this for you and not for your hubby. That makes it even more important to keep on keepin' on.

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KIMBER1984 3/24/2011 3:11PM

    sorry dear, I had a stupid busy February with work. I let it take over and put me on the back burner as normal. Then we went on our trip to Jamaica (just got back this morning). I promise to be on here more, not just for others but for myself too, because I owe it to me!


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JKN049 3/24/2011 10:13AM

    Oh my goodness, I can sooooo relate to your post. My dear husband is the same way as yours with you. I had to LOL about the pastry episode as that's exactly what has happened in the past with me. I can also relate to plateaus. Such pain! Just keep doing what you've been doing....Your body will respond when it's ready. You are doing a great job at sticking with your program - so try to relax a little. I'm also a member of the Slowest Loser team. Have you heard of it? Come and join us if you like!!


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AZTLAN777 3/23/2011 12:10AM

    My dearest gf! Your body is going through something right now and it will go back to losing again. I like to think that our bodies are going through "changing gears"! Getting ready to speed up little by little. I remember when I hit a plateau, my gosh, it was like running into a brick wall. So, frustrating! However, the more I considered the trauma my body goes through, the more I became aware that it needs time to adjust. So, when I don't lose or lose as much as I think I should, I remember that it needs some time. Then I am able to relax and go with the flow, but still stick to eating plan and praise your body for the great work it is doing! Don't despair, be happy and revel in the compliments your hubby gives you. Be in harmony with your world! I pat my arms, legs, shoulders, tummy and say "Thank you for helping me to do for myself, I love you and appreciate your hard work." Thank your hubby and smile. When you smile and are thankful in the small things, you will be ready for the bigger things coming your way! Lots of love my dear friend! I will blog when I get a chance this weekend! Hugs

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NANA2PRINCESSES 3/22/2011 5:50AM

    My husband very supportive also. He is the cook and tries hard to accommodate my program, but he is also the shopper, so occasional pastries and salty snacks find their way here too. My weight loss has been painfully slow, with lots of plateauing, so can identify with your frustration. Blogging more would be helpful I think.

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LADYRH 3/22/2011 3:33AM

    Hang in there, we all reach plateaus. Just keep on trying.

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Better frames of mind...

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Well I am back on track....these last couple of weeks truly proved to myself that I am an emotional - Oh well - I kinda knew that but not to the extent that I found out... I can and now forgive myself...

Saying no biggie is so far- that I can see- the most wonderful of accomplishments!! Who knew that saying its ok to yourself would actually get me back on track least this roller coaster ride isn't heading a slow slippery slope downwards for extended periods of time....something I very much did over and over before Spark...

I am falling down on my way to success but now I know that isn't a door open to eat whatever, forever, because I classified myself as a failure....I will be the weight I want to be....I am looking pretty good right now too lol (better than I did) that is for sure lol.

To all my spark friends who drop by - Thank-you so much for your support - it was truly comforting to be able to share - I have never used a "blog" before and it did help me to write out what I was thinking...

thank-youvery much

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PARISTASAI 3/10/2011 5:09PM

    "I am falling down on my way to success" --OK! I am too! We just have to keep getting up! And that "get up" I have on in that photo! I didn't really mean to post that picture. But it looks just like me! It was taken at a Swedish crayfish party, when everyone is required to wear a funny hat. My regular hat is not as funny as that one.
Keep on getting up on your way to success!

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Late at night....

Friday, February 25, 2011

I find myself back up late at night and for some unknown reason I want to eat and eat and eat....I have the hardest time at night....I can eat exactly right until I have my dinner .....then I want to wander into the kitchen to munch and nothing seems to satisfy me...

I've read and read about having to tune into your body and only eat when your hungry and how so often when you are overweight you may not know how to do that. I do the wait 20 min after I eat dinner to ensure I actually want a second serving....

I plan on - only one snack after dinner be honest - its rare that I am able to limit myself to that one snack.....

I am for the most part eating better snacks - I give myself that - but grrrrrrrrrrr I still can't seem to keep my promise to myself when evening comes.....

Please, please somehow find my strength here - I really think If I could master this - then I could be so much more successful at this.....don't know how to yet....

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AZTLAN777 2/26/2011 11:35AM

    I can totally relate my dear friend! So, what I started doing is I have 4 meals and 2 snacks. I have my breakfast later than traditional "time" so, my meals take me right to bedtime. I also read that it is a myth about not eating after a certain hour. As long as you are eating a deficit of calories and stay within our range, you will lose the weight! This is what I have been doing and I am losing the weight! Don't despair, you will be just fine, just make sure you eat every 2 hrs or 3 or 4 whatever feels right to you! Some days I am much hungrier and some days I can skip my snacks and the fourth meal, but I allow myself some space to choose according to my body's nutritional needs!

Also, you are still having residual emotions from your uncle's passing. My thoughts and prayers are with you my dear friend...Hugs emoticon


Comment edited on: 2/26/2011 11:36:53 AM

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NEWDAYGIRL23 2/25/2011 9:18PM

    I'm sure you've heard this before, but it really is a habit thing, so you just have to not do it for a few days and then a few weeks and then before you know it you won't want to do it at all. Good tricks I've found: program your mind with a "I'm done now" food. For a while it was butterscotch hard candy or a peppermint. And at first I'd have two or three after dinner and it was like a desert and then I knew I'd get nothing more. Then after a while I would only need one and then I didn't really need it at all. Tea is another great one that cues your mind in to: no more food-get ready for sleep mode. Or brush your teeth! That definitely says to your mind: No MORE FOOD! I know it doesn't seem easy, but it is possible if you want it! I believe in you! You can do it!!

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DAV128 2/25/2011 2:51AM

    I feel for your problem. I stay up late a lot and have the same craving. My solution has been (especially if I know I'll be up late and can plan) is to save a sunflower seed snack. An entire portion is only about 180 cal and it can last me a couple of hours. A lot of sodium, but "Oh Well."

Good Luck, if this suggestions doesn't help, I wish you luck. Maybe you can find another similar snack that might help.


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In Memory...

Friday, February 11, 2011

I found out yesterday that my mother's brother passed away - My Uncle Bill. I knew he was ill. He did live a wonderful full life - he was a teacher. He had the million dollar family - one girl - one boy. My first thought was he is now with Aunt Chris - who passed away about 4 years ago. I truly believe that we will be greeted by those that we love when we pass. My mother, just before she died - spoke her sister's name (and she had passed many many years prior).

I cried, I ate....I'm ok now. I love you Uncle Bill - give my mom and dad a big kiss for me and will you please, also, be one of the people who guides me forever, to make the best choices I can, while I live. You were a wonderful role model and I will miss you.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AZTLAN777 2/26/2011 11:25AM

    Awww, dear gf, I am so sorry, I didn't see this blog sooner. My heart is with you...Hugs. emoticon

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JKN049 2/16/2011 5:32PM

    I'm so sorry. I know brighter days are ahead for you but until they arrive, please know that friends are here for you.

emoticon emoticon

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MELISSAP1981 2/14/2011 9:24AM

    I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. emoticon emoticonThe ladybug is from my son Liam. He wanted to help brighten your day.

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SBILLIAN 2/12/2011 8:29AM

    My deepest sympathy...


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NINJA_SMOO 2/11/2011 8:10PM


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Monday, February 07, 2011

I went to the Bingo on Saturday with my girlfriend and my neice. No, we didn't win ...grrr....Well, just before I was going to meet them, I remembered that they have a free dinner included and that it likely wouldn't be very healthy. I looked around the hall and so many women there were sadly very overweight. True to form the meal was a huge plate of pasta with meatsauce and a big white crusty bun. I started to eat the pasta and there was a thick layer of grease floating on my plate, it was cold and in my mind somewhat tasteless. Some of the meals they have served in the past have been really terrific but always calorie laden. I ate a few of the very oversize noodles and then I just couldn't eat anymore...I threw it away. I was still very hungry but just couldn't justify eating something that was floating in that much grease. Luckily I had packed a couple of oranges an apple and three small yogurts... to share with us all...This is not something I ever used to do...I would rely on the snack bar and healthy choices are rare....

I remember the days where that would never have occurred to me and that plate would have been cleaned. My friend and my niece told me that I have become obsessive about my weight and nutrition. I thought about that today and it occurred to me at the time I kinda took that as an insult... but today I think I am going to take that as a compliment... maybe I am talking too much about Spark and what I am learning and what I am experiencing....but I must need to...
I am seeing results and if I need to be obsessive to reach my health goals - then so be it....I get the compliments that I look great but the eyes roll when I talk about Spark...I am thinking that maybe what I am talking about may be something that they are internalizing and maybe are not really wanting to hear or think about at this time...who knows...
I just may have to be a bit more introspective about it for a while and blog Thank goodness that my friends and I at Spark are in the same head space and that Spark has set up a forum where we can share....I am truly very grateful....and inspired by all of my new friends.... Thank-you

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHNKYCHIC76 2/10/2011 12:49PM

This is a great thing. It means you are taking all you are learning on your journey and actually applying it in your life. It's one thing to learn about being healthy and eating right and a totally different thing to, as they say, "walk the walk". Great job.

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MELISSAP1981 2/9/2011 9:21AM

    Better to be obsessive about your health than about food:) I'm so proud of you for sticking to your guns. emoticon

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SUEINTHEPARK 2/8/2011 10:49AM

    I went through the same thing. Four of us embarked on a weight loss journey at the same time, taking different paths, and people beyond this circle of friends could have pulled an orbital muscle, they were rolling their eyes so much! I quickly learned that you need to inspire people with your actions (if at all), and try to hold back on "educating" others who may not want to learn. Another of our group of 4 didn't clue in to this, and was obsessively talking about CrossFit (perhaps partly due to the nature of it too, it seems like a cult!), showing off her new-found muscles, exclaiming in the locker rooms about how her hockey pants don't fit any more since she lost so much weight... and she alienated just about everyone around her with her inward, narcissistic shift in attitude. So, there is a fine line, to be sure, but rest assured that you can talk and celebrate with us as much as you want. We all get it and are proud of you!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KIMBER1984 2/7/2011 7:45AM

    Great job on not eating the unhealthy choice and going for the healthy one instead. And even just you thinking to bring a healthy choice is awesome! emoticon
For those people in our lives who roll their eyes, I just usually try not to share my experience. We may be having a wonderful time in our lives learning to be healthy and want to share but they may not get it. So many people think "just don't eat." If only it were that easy.
Share with your many spark friends, we are here to support each other. The good and the not so good to0.

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SBILLIAN 2/7/2011 7:28AM

    When people comment about your health habits (when the should be praising you up and down the street!) it really has more to do with their own inner conflict - you may be right when you say they may not be ready to hear it. Personally, I really enjoy reading people's blogs (and I usually learn something valuable too!), so you're guaranteed a receptive audience on SP.

Congrats on defeating the greasy pasta monster!!


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    Although my Spark progress is slow, weight wise, it is amazing to me how my attitude toward food has changed. I suspect in our days before Spark we would have welcomed the pasta and cleaned the plate. Congrats on trashing the grease and having a healthy back-up snack.

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AZTLAN777 2/7/2011 5:35AM

    I believe that when we were eating to our greedy content, we were obsessive about it! Now, we are obsessive about losing the deadly weight, living longer, and eating healthy, heck yeah!!! There is nothing wrong with it unless you're are not doing it. This is probably what they feel when you talk about Spark, the conviction that they are not taking care of their health. Since I began telling my friends about Spark, I just mentioned it once, reported my 47 lb loss and didn't say no more. However, when we would all go out to eat after our karaoke nite I chose what I wanted to eat within my allowance and heard comments like, "You eat so healthy all the time!" I say, "Yes I do, but I can still have a restaurant meal with you and enjoy your company. Well, as time passed by, I noticed they started to lose weight, some ate only half of what was on their plate and pushed it away. When people are ready they will follow the example, when not, they feel the conviction of your example. Keep doing what you are doing, if the day comes that they ask for your advice about weightloss you will be there for them! Hugs.


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