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*Eeeeep! What have I done to myself!?*

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

I feel terrible.

My dentist's office emailed me today with my treatment plan. It's worse than I thought. Too many cavities, possible root canal, those wisdom teeth should come out in the next two years, ick! I called the office and the receptionist talked shop with me, calming me down. I need work done, and March 28th cant come fast enough. That's all Im going to be thinking about. It's going to haunt me at night: images of my teeth turning to dust because I didnt get this done sooner.

I feel guilty. We're talking serious money here. I have insurance, but if the guy wants to do a root canal, Im just going to tell him to yank the darn tooth. It's in the back where I cant brush, and I'd have to do a crown on top of that, which is too much money in my opinion. No love lost between me and that tooth! It is the weakest link! Goodbye!

I totally dated myself back to the late nineties there. Wow.

So Im down. I feel gross. I feel defective. I feel like I got an F minus on a test. We were talking numbers that put car repairs into perspective.... Speaking of, my car insurance is coming up in July. I pay it up front for the entire year, and these bills are too close for comfort....

I have an emergency fund, which is reassuring. Most 27 year olds in this town don't. But I feel guilty for feeling so invincible in my early twenties that I felt I didnt need a dentist. I was seriously reckless when it came to my health. My father is diabetic, I feel like I should have known better and not mistreat myself this way. And I hate this waiting. I wish I was in the dentist's chair right this very second, I really do!

So no gym membership for me, or tinted windows on my car, or a new video game. I told Nitz, and he undestands. My dentist's office told me that I can claim some on next year's tax return. My benefits are up for review (they only have a limited window of time where you can upgrade or downgrade your plan) so I will up it in case he finds something else. Might as well get optical too. The fun never ends, ha!

Sorry, just kind of embarassed about the entire thing....

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

C4CHRISTINE 4/19/2011 5:36PM

    ah! it's so timely that I just randomly read your blog! I JUST booked my basically first dental appointment ever and I'm so nervous about what they will find and so eager to get started on the work I know they're going to suggest!

Glad you feel the same way!

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BECCAJ98 3/16/2011 11:35PM

    Just make sure to keep going now. I didn't go for several (ok about 7) because I didn't have insurance, had to have 13 cavities filled and a root canal. Even after insurance, I owed a ton. But I am so glad I did!! No more pains or sensitivity. So now I make sure I go every 6 months to make sure nothing else happens!

Good luck!

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CHAR1970 3/16/2011 11:07PM

    I think our teeth is the number one place we neglect when it comes to health. I absolutely HATE going to the dentist. The freezing doesn't work for me.

Thank goodness for insurance!

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VALI_T 3/16/2011 7:21PM

    Hey, at least you finally got wise while you were still in your 20s. It took me until I was in my early 40s and man alive, I needed one HECK of a lot of work by then. If my mom hadn't helped me to pay for all of it I would probably have had to have most of my teeth pulled and gotten dentures. emoticon Root canals and extractions can be a real pain (literally) but I have this feeling they beat the heck out of not having teeth at all. Good luck with all of it. emoticon (That's the big wide grin you'll have once your teeth are all fixed up)

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JODYMARINO1 3/16/2011 7:08PM

    Sounds awful! You'll get through it. Sounds like you've got the plan worked out though.
Good luck!

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JOJOBEE318 3/16/2011 6:51PM

    Hey, I been there.

I was terrible about taking care of my teeth and never went to the dentist (due to bad experiences when I was younger) and last year had to go due to horrible pain.

I ended up needing 2 root canals (with crowns), 2 additional crowns, a lot of fillings and a partial denture.

I didn't have insurance and am struggling to pay that bill. But it's my own fault for letting it go so long.

Hang in there!

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The Dentist, My 2011 Accountability

Wednesday, March 09, 2011

This year is about my overal health and happiness, which includes my heart (cardio), my body (strength training and conditioning) my mind (stress reduction) and of course, my mentality on food and drink. This is a promise I made myself, and I intend to never let myself down again. Oral health is part of that equation, and often forgotten.

Why did I avoid the dentist for the closer part of a decade? Hmmm...

Mostly because I wasnt insured, and now I am. And sure, my insurance isnt the best of the best, but it helps me, and for that I am greatful. So when I felt my wisdom tooth trying to tell me off again for the umpteenth time I asked my boyfriend who his coworker's dentist is, because he is the best. Then I called them.

Im not afraid of the drills, or the pain, or the smells, or the noise. I am afraid of the critisim. Getting a cavity is like being told I failed a test, so I put it off and put off again (how does that even make sense? Im so messed up in the head...). 2010 was supposed to be the year but I got busy, then I grew a pair and finally booked the appointment I deserved to have, darn it!

And let me tell you, the crap they pulled off my teeth made me want to swear off eating and double up on brushing. ICK!! They were the most supportive and non judgemental people Ive met in a long time, and they assured me I was fine and they would help me with whatever I needed.

The good news:
*No gum disease! I have wonderful gums!
*I have strong healthy teeth!
*I have a genuinely healthy mouth, and got quick tutorial on flossing (I swore I would floss every day and I am totally not joking. Ginivitis is prevalent in early stages of heart disease, and I want my real teeth when I am 90.)

The bad news:
* 1 HUGE cavity that I may have been blaming my wisdom tooth on but it isnt even the case. The dentist told me he might pull it and the Wisdom tooth can get promoted to replace it. He didnt seem worried, and quite frankly, neither am I (I hate that tooth...I cant reach it when I brush, no wonder I have a cavity there!!). My mouth is small, one less tooth in the back wont make a difference and actually it might make my bite a bit more even. He said it was touching the nerve, but I only feel gum inflammation occasionally, so who knows...

* Another smaller cavity in the middle set of teeth in the side. I have an appointment to repair it. He's reviewing the xrays but those two cavities were the ones he noticed right away. He will take it under advisement and build a treatment plan for me and he'll keep my insurance company's caps and limitations in mind when doing so.

* I had to book an entire day off work for this....seriously. The appointment was in such a setting that I would miss half a day of work. I was there 2 hours (I watched the entire movie of Spiderman while I was in the chair), the longest I have ever held a dentist appointment, but I get everything done today as a baseline patient. This is apparently rare. I am a 'good patient' for enduring and helping the hygenist complete her exams on time.

* I am on the heavy day of my period and laying in a chair for two hours made me so nervous for that! Luckily everything was fine, hehe.

I wont have to miss work for the next appointment, which is good because I have too much to do there. I will however have to leave early. I already told my coworker and she understands.

So I had the rest of the day off! Nitz went to work but Dragon Age 2 came out yesterday and Nitz was third in line at the video game store to buy it for me, so Im going to kill the afternoon slaying darkspawn as a mage. But I did all my housework first because then I play times accelerates, hahaha! I put away laundry and brushed Dante and tidied up. Dante loves being bushed, but I play by his rules so he doing start to detest it, which is following him around the apartment and let him choose where to sit before he grows tired and tries to find another spot. What a spoiled sport.

Sorry about the long windedness of this note, but I cannot help mut be excited that I am moving forward to a better me, and getting everything in place so I can be as healthy as a possibly can! ^_^ What a great day!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

C4CHRISTINE 4/19/2011 5:41PM

    OH. My. Goodness. That first part of your blog was a mirror image of my own thoughts! The criticism, the failure!

I too grew some and jumped in with both feet. My appointment is in about two weeks and I'm scared of what they'll find, but so pleased that I'm just taking the bull by the horns and getting 'er done!

You're my brain twin!

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Monday, February 28, 2011

I get so frustrated with my boyfriend sometimes.....

I feel like I'm the only one that cleans anything around here. He does the laundry (I flat out refuse to, he needs to be responsible for something!) but I am constantly doing recycling, dishes, dusting, putting away laundry, general tidying..... He says he cant find anything but I tell him that is because I am constantly putting it away! There's cat hair in the corners, would it kill you to dust??? Thank god he isnt home, or he'd get an earful. I'm going to go out and say it: He's a SLOB. Yuck!!!

So I had to clean up on top of making dinner for tomorrow AND working out. I feel maxed out and I dont even have a child. I dont know how you mothers can work out, chase a child, clean, make dinner.....It astounds me. You are superheroes.

Dont get me wrong, Nitz is wonderful but I feel like I chase after him with a duster and a garbage bag! I get so sick of coming home to an apartment that begs for attention due to neglect.

Even now there's a pile of crap near the PC I cant bear to look at, and I can barely find a place to put my glass of water on this desk.....ICKKKKK.

I'm talking to him when he gets home!!!! I mean, again...

Back to working out. Cardio over, on to floor exercises. Might as well put this aggression towards something....

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GOLDCHOCOBO 2/28/2011 7:51PM

    Im not his MAID. He knows this, and doesnt take me for granted. Believe me, I speak my mind. A reminder is in order, but honestly, he doesnt feel like it's his right to not do housework, he just has a different tolerance for cleanliness than the rest of us. What guy doesnt?

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MSKITYOCAT 2/28/2011 7:43PM

  Welcome to the normal world of not setting boundries and letting a man think that he is king and has a maid, mother, and sister, and lover and friend all wrapped up in one. No wonder you are tired. Correct the error of his ways now or you will never do it.

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MARKDORENE 2/28/2011 7:43PM

    tell him

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Delayed Reaction! XD

Saturday, February 19, 2011

I dont know whether to laugh or cry!

After my last post, when no one noticed a sexy strut in my step, I got ready for work the next day and dressed "The Usual Way": Business casual three-quarter sleeve sweater, black dress pants, cute heels. Here's the kicker: no makeup at all. I have a few blemish marks on my chin and cheek but decided that I didnt care enough to use concealer or foundation of whatever. I just put on face powder to do oil control, that's it. I decided I wanted nice hair, so I brushed it out, hair sprayed it and applied a bit of gel to keep frizzies away. There! Cute! So off to work I go.

I had to go into the lab to deal with something that morning so I went down there and stood aside as a cart went by. Now, these people are all my friends. I love them and they love me. I started in the lab for a year before I was promoted to the business side of things, so they know me well and look out for me.

Flower was pushing a cart. "Hi Candy!!"

"Hi Flower!"

"You are so SEXY!" she says spontaneously before I laugh and squeeze her arm and tell her she's pretty darn fine herself. But as I walked by I was thinking "I was all dolled up and no one said nuthin' yesterday amd I have no make up on and regular clothes and Im sexy?" I couldnt help but laugh at the entire thing.

The girls downstairs say things like this a lot, and it is out of pure love. "Hot hot Candy!" and "Sexy Candy! How are you today??" I usually push the compliments back but lately I have decided to accept them. It is just how their culture expresses themselves and how they compliment others. They mean no harm. We are all friends here. It just makes me laugh how the compliments came in a day late.....

In other news, I was to take Nitz with me to visit my parents tomorrow. I looked forward to the affair: my dad had surgery on his leg in December and I really wanted to see him (we've been in constant touch though phone and email, but it isnt the same) but the weather is having different ideas and we have been forced to postpone it to next sunday at my mother's request. She said, and I quote "wrecking you car isnt worth it". I agreed that the insurance company just wouldnt understnad the allure of my mother's spare ribs, so next sunday it is.

So tomorrow is a bumming around day. The snow is supposed to arrive tomorrow night. This would have been the time I would have to leave my parents place to get home at a decent hour and Toronto drivers stink at winter driving, so it's best not to attempt it at all.

Off to attempt some sort of workout before Nitz gets home. Have a great day, Sparkers!



Wednesday, February 16, 2011

My calories eaten today are sooooo low! I didnt break 1200, what gives??? Maybe I calculated wrong, saying I had less peanut butter than I did, or whatever. I dont know. I just added the icecream I forgot to add and Im still under. I dont want to eat anymore today! Im tired and it's tiring to eat at night and I just dont want to because I wont feel good when I go to bed....UGH!

I know this rant seems ridiculous to some people, but writing this helps me understand. I havent tracked food in forever and this analysis screams failure. I honeslty thought I was more self aware. Yikes.... And my water intake was terrible too! I am ashamed!!!!

Today I wore a really cute outfit. I wore a sweater dress with black leggings. I NEVER wear leggings. I bought them because it was boxing day and they were like 3 bucks.... So I wore the leggings and the white sweater dress and I wore a stretchy belt (to hide the ugly bits) and cute heels. No one commented on my cute outfit at all! And I thought I looked good. It was kinda sad that no one recognized the effort I put into my appearance today, seeing as I stepped out of my comfort zone by wearing the leggings in the first place. So sad!

Well, not true, June noticed. But we work together. We even dressed the same a few times by accident which made eveyone laugh. I expected June to comment though, because she's observant and sees me every single weekday and knows what I normally wear......

I dont know why it bugs me, I really dont! I feel kinda lost and confused today, especially since my food analysis is a big F Minus! Gah...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MESAJOGGER 2/17/2011 7:19PM

    that totally sucks! it takes a LOT of courage to wear leggings. that's so awesome that you did! :-) Maybe the other girls were just jealous that you could pull them off so well. Sometimes I'm shallow and do that. :-( Nevertheless, about the cal thing, maybe you could sneak in other things, like flax seed in your food, so you don't feel like your adding actual extra bites to your meals, but the calories will increase. :-D Good luck!

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GOLDCHOCOBO 2/16/2011 8:33PM

    Thanks for your comment! And I think it was more of a 'stepping out of my comfort zone' thing that no one noticed. I felt brave to wear it, better than weird looks, I suppose! LOL

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ZELDA-SAYRE 2/16/2011 8:27PM

about people noticing your outfit... I know the feeling. Recently I started using skirts, it's such a big step for me because I've been wearing nothing but jeans for the last 10 years or so. I'm thinking maybe people don't comment because they don't wanna point stuff out... maybe they don't want to appear shallow, I don't know. But I think just ignore the comments (or lack of comments). If you feel great in that outfit that's what matters :)

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