Sunday, October 27, 2013
I am guilt-ridden. I have been away for a long time. Not down and out, but not documenting my progress either. I have a few news related things!
This year has been a very transitional year for me. I have settled into my new job and tackling my tasks with gusto. I got a new manager in April (My old manager got promoted to director in the same department and we were given a manager to help us out with the day-to-day while my new director focuses on the standard 5 years out). I adore my new boss, and we get along great, but now we are struggling with the revelation that our lab got purchased by another lab....my old lab which feels like a twist of a blade in my side) and we are proceeding with cautious optimism. Well *I* am. I feel like no one else is but I try to rally my coworkers to keep our eyes on the prize.
To complicate an uncertain career future, I got engaged on March 10th of this year (my lab was bought in September, so I had no way of knowing these things prior to our engagement, but life shouldn't get in the way of your happiness in any way, shape, or form). I was being healthy before, and I want to be even healthier now. The planning has begun for a Nov 2, 2014 wedding, and things are chugging along to our satisfaction. We are on the cusp of securing an officiant, a DJ and a photographer, we booked our venue, I bought my dress yesterday and we have our rings already. I will rant about the dress in a moment.
My kitty Dante had a health scare a few months ago, and I arranged a vet appointment for him in late August. Dante is very important to me, and I realized how important he was on the day of his 'attack'. He had ran a fever, his paws were hot, and he was purring in a 'scared' way and unable to get comfortable. A few days later, he got an upper respiratory infection and a very drippy left eye. I found a very nice vet who checked him out and gave him a clear bill of health. Well, save for the fact he's a little on a chubby side, so I bought him some weight management food. I even ran blood work on him to be safe, which came out fine. He's as happy and as healthy as ever, but I remember crying the night of his illness, pleading to Nitz that he HAS be okay. There is no other option. I even confided in a coworker and told her I would be very upset if I had to put Dante down. I would be a sobbing, frightful, emotional mess. And she said that was okay. You're supposed to be one. I told Nitz I NEED him there should the day ever come, and said he would try his very best. He's the best cat I have ever had. He's my family. I feel fortunate to have a man who acknowledges this as well.
On the other subject of being active, I do run around a bit for my job. I have been inspecting more labs this fall to help my peers out, and trying VERY HARD to keep fast food to a minimum. When I pick up fast food in between inspections, I make conscious choices. Every friday is Fast Food Friday with my coworkers as a bonding and social experience, and that is the day I let loose a little. But donuts near the coffee machine at any date and time are so tempting (especially french crullers!!)... PLUS, we've had a few parties to celebrate our merger/acquisition deal and the implementation of a new laboratory machine and cupcakes were there. CUPCAKES! I friggin' love those!! I have been trying to cook better options at home, and utilizing healthy sushi options instead of fast food when Nitz and I can't cook. It helps a lot that we are sushi (but not tempura!!) addicts ;)
And now let me rant about my dress a little. I love it. I put it on yesterday, looked at my mother and said "I think it's the one. I will not be able to stop thinking about it. I think we need to get it." So we did. And it's gorgeous, and it makes me feel like a sexy, empowered, stunning woman, but wedding dress shopping has killed me. The style I wanted, what I felt like would be the ultimate statement of glamour and glory, looked awful on me. I felt heavy and gross when I wore the styles I though I would adore. I'm not saying that the one I chose was second best, but I'm saying that I had a different opinion of what I could wear before trying these dresses on. I tried on over a dozen dresses before finding mine, and 50% of those made me feel like a total cow. It shouldn't be that way! I shouldn't feel unworthy of a dress. I shouldn't feel like "Oh, if I was 2007 Candy I would rock this!" 2007 Candy wouldn't be able to either. And I was 117lbs then. It's how I'm shaped. And I was looking at models in the magazines thinking I needed to fill out a dress that way. I felt ripped off. It's an icky and exhausting feeling.
So I want to give a piece of advice to brides, and, well, anyone dress shopping really: just try on all sorts of things and look at things objectively. And please don't be upset when plan A doesn't work out. Because all the other styles and options are there for you to try and you will find something that makes you feel like a million dollars! It just might not be what you expected is all :) And for brides: please don't look at the size. The numbers are all wonky. I'm a size 14 in gowns but a 6-8 in normal clothes. It makes no sense so please don't take stock in it.
And with that, I think I will go look at veils. It's always something, you know?
I hope everyone is doing well and feeling well. It's what we all strive to do ^_^
Monday, February 18, 2013
SOOOO LATE! LMAO! Actually, happy valentine's day too! We had a day off today for Family Day. I didnt spend it with my family, but I spoke with my mother yesterday. The weather is very uncertain right now so visiting my family is hard. I had to shovel out my car last friday:
It didnt even take me that long to dig out, no biggie. I'm one of those weirdos that likes shoveling snow (if I'm not late for work or something). You want me to dig you out? I totally will! Seriously!
...Unless you are a jerkface. The night before that pic, I heard a jerk struggling in the snow, and I saw him when when he was driving like a total maniac. He slammed his car into the curb to make it stop! Who does that?? I will not dig you out, sir. You are a jerk.
My boyfriend and I bought a Magic Bullet! I make breakfast smoothies and stuff now! I freeze bananas and have greek yogurt on hand to dump in there.
It's been hard. There have been Valentine's cupcakes at work. The other day, my boss brought in cinnamon buns (with cream cheese icing) for no reason. UGH. I love those! I have drinking green tea three times a day when I can. I have been bringing soup. I have been eating egg sandwiches with thin bagels. I've been really good! Working out, not so much, but my pants still fit and I feel okay!
I got a lecture at work:
Ben: You don't need to belittle yourself.
Ben: This diet talk...You are the same weight as when I met you five years ago.
Me: FIVE YEARS?? We've been friends FIVE YEARS?
Ben: Yeah and you haven't changed. You worry too much.
So, two revelations here: 1) Ben notices no fluctuations ever, and 2) Ben and I have been friends for 5 years. This is a huge chunk of time. Makes me feel old, but secure. I havent changed in my friends' eyes! YAY!!!
It's something!!! LOL
Sunday, December 02, 2012
I'm here! I really am!
I've been working really hard! My job is going okay. I have a performance review on the 10th! This is kind of scary, but I hope I do really well! It means a lot to me.
With the holidays coming, I have christmas shopping and have quite a few presents bought. The job helps. I had to repair my car too, but I am so glad I have new brakes, wipers, battery, and fluids. I have a wonderful dealership that was very honest and understanding to my needs. That's one less thing I need to worry about.
I also have been getting into a routine. My weight loss may not be 100% exercise and diet driven, but it did happen once the overtime started to be required. I have been eating less and drinking more liquids. I am aware that this is not idea, but I am making much better food choices and denying temptation. I even make healthy fast food choices, and I love soups. I made a healthy version of a corn chowder the other day, which was so yummy my boyfriend wanted seconds and thirds. I served it with quinoa, which stretched it even further.
Speaking of, I need to take a trip to the Bulk Barn and buy some more. I am in LOVE with quinoa. I make it as a main dish or a side. I make it with veggies, onions, chicken, I'd even like to try to make it into a break or muffin. It's just perfect in every way! Does everyone love quinoa as much as I do??
I have also been experimenting with different makeup looks, and I love clothes again! I am a very happy camper right now, and I love having a plan. No gym membership yet, but my boyfriend has assured me he is asking about his discount through his work. Very exciting stuff!
With this holiday season upon up, I suggest the following advice: find something you love to eat that is healthy! And try to stay around it as much as possible! Mmmmm quinoa :)
Friday, July 20, 2012
So I got a job. It's a bit further of a drive than my old job, and I am terrified of screwing it up, and new jobs are terrifying in general, but I start July 30th in the lab business again. It's exciting. I am a girl that actually likes working. I even missed complaining about a job. I felt so left out.
I would listen to my boyfriend rant about his job...how such and such a customer was just awful, or this one coworker never shows up on time etc and I caught myself saying "At least you have a job to complain about."
But this gig is a nice gig, and it's nice to feel wanted.
As I was driving home from my interview last friday I saw that right around the corner is an LAFitness. A huge one. But their website isn't very user friendly and I've never used a real gym before, so is LAFitness a good gym? Has anyone used it? I would prefer to buy a membership where I wouldn't have to pay every month... It would be nice to burn some calories while I wait for rush hour to conclude....
So are gyms in general worth the money? I would just like to hear about people's experiences good or bad.
Also, I am off to the Thrift Store to see if I can find a dress that doesnt make me feel awful about myself for Nitz's Nana's funeral. She passed away quietly in the ICU two days ago, and I would like to look nice for her service, because she was so wonderful and kind to me. I am glad she is free of this worldly suffering.
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