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The joy and pains of friendship

Friday, September 02, 2011

Thursday morning my dear friend Shirley stopped by and wanted to go to coffee. I don't recall ever turning that down. LOL As we sat sipping and talking, she told me that she thought the "New Beginnings" retreat she went on had really helped her through the tremendous sorrow she feels since her husband passed away. But after a moment of silence she said she didn't think it did afterall and she wondered if she would feel this sad for the rest of her life. It broke my heart. As gabby as I am I was at a loss for words to comfort her. I hope and pray she won't. They knew each other since school, dated, and married and were together 45 or so years. How can anyone say the right thing. I have no point of reference to the pain and sorrow and emptyness she feels loosing him. I could only tell her that I didn't know how to help and that i was just going to be here when she needed to cry on someone's shoulder. So the whole day I kept reflecting on what she said and praying that the Good Lord would help her.

So I always go back to things that help me through times like that. It helps me to look at pictures of my Grandkids.....pictures of my kids when they were little.....think about the wonderful experiences I've had in my life and try to be thankful for whatever blessings have come my way. I think that those who are in heaven do look after us in some ways. The day before my sister passed away, a beautiful cardinal came to the house and sat in a low lying bush outside the window.....a place I'd never seen one before, and in fact hadn't seen one for years. My sis and my Grandma were both crazy about cardinals. I think it was Grandma telling me that she would look after Deb and not to worry,. Does that sound crazy? Well, even if it does, I believe it. We talked about that and she said that she and Gary loved collecting coins. And that since he's been gone she is always finding coins in odd places, like the beach by their house where she found a Yosemite coin from a trip they took long before they even lived in this house. She said she thought it was a message from nim and I believe it.

So tonight I was taking in all the beautiful photos that grace the internet for our enjoyment. I saw dozens of pictures of rainbows.....beautiful old towns and villages.....and many other things that interested me. Here is a website off budget travel that you might enjoy yourself.

http://www.budgettravel.com/slideshow/35
-brilliant-rainbows,7614/?src=ssrcrc

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUGARBABY60 9/4/2011 12:13AM

    What a good friend you are Carolyn. One thing to remember is that grief does not go on forever it just seems that way during that particular time in a person's life.there is no set time table for it to end. When my kids dad died I cried for days but suddenly I got a real "peace from God" after that I don't think I cried again, I missed him of course but not that deep gut wrenching grief.Peace will come on it's own timetable. emoticon

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LODESTONE 9/2/2011 10:00AM

    Everyone has expressed herself so well. I can't add much that's different. I do believe that God holds us all in the palm of His hand- loving us and protecting us. Those that have gone on before continue to watch over us and maybe nudge us along with some reminder that only means something to the recipient. They live on in our hearts.

Be strong for your friend and be there for her.
Hugs for both of you.


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VITCHY-VICKI 9/2/2011 8:39AM

    Carolyn like everyone said just being there is what she needs and your a good friend to just sit and listen I all sign you see are good signs - that means our loved ones are watching over us and God is with them always
Just be there for her when she needs you
God's Blessings kido
Vicki

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PAMBWS 9/2/2011 7:57AM

    Carolyn...being 'there' is the most important thing you can do. And when all those who are 'there' soon after the loss of a loved one have drifted back to their old lives, or are unsure how to 'treat' a newly single person...continue to be 'there'.



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DLG0505 9/2/2011 2:54AM

    When I first saw the title of your post I was wondering if under the pains you were referring to me!

Sometimes the best thing a friend can do is what you are doing. Just being there and listening.



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INFLATED 9/2/2011 2:52AM

    I had a call last night from a friend. They used to live in this city, then moved out of state to help her aging mother-in-law. Her husband passed this year. She said she was glad that the cemetery near where she lives was so expensive that she chose one up on a mountain. She said, I would have been at the grave every day, every time something went wrong.

I told her that her husband went through chemo to try to beat the cancer because he wanted to live and not to let herself die with him. I believe you said all of the right things, Carolyn. Sometimes a statement, "I don't have the words" is enough. Talk about her husband with her if you knew him. The worst for them is when others feel uncomfortable when they talk about their dear one that has departed.

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CHERIRIDDELL 9/2/2011 2:46AM

    You are a wonderful friend .Sometimes the best thing we can do is listen.I too think that those who are in heaven do look after us in some ways. Those are our guardian angels ,those here on earth who try their best to look after us ,our earth angels are our friends .Thank you for being a friend!

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TIME4COFFEE 9/2/2011 1:53AM

    There's only so much you can do for your friend at this time, but I believe what you ARE doing is exactly right. She'll just have to work through things herself and find her own peace. Being a safe harbor for her to talk and mourn are all you can do. I would say you're an excellent friend Carolyn.

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No one knows

Thursday, September 01, 2011

One day at work, eons ago, of course, I came back to my desk after break and found this paper taped to my computer screen. I got such a kick out of it that I kept it and as with most things I own, it got lost along the way. Recently I unearthed it (LOL) and thought I would share it with you. It's totally useless information but what the heck...... so here goes.

I have gone to get myself.
If I return before I get back
Hold me here because it is important
I see myself when I get back,
before I get confused.

Hows that for the ridiculous. Never knew who gave it to me. My boss, ahah? Just trying to be funny. It was one of those stressful jobs that made us all a little on the nut and fruitcake side, so I'll never know. ....have to accept that. LOL

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WINE4GIRL 9/11/2011 7:11AM

    emoticon

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SUGARBABY60 9/10/2011 3:59AM

    ah.. I think I saw you when you weren't there but it was too hard to hold you until you returned ...then again. maybe that wasn't you at all! emoticon

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INFLATED 9/2/2011 2:56AM

    I think it is funny!

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MONTY68 9/1/2011 10:05PM

    Hi Carolyn
I like that, I think it is so great when people have a good sense of humor.

Monty emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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NOTSPEEDY 9/1/2011 9:43PM

    Love the sense of humor.

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TIME4COFFEE 9/1/2011 5:59PM

    Someone knew how to help relieve the stress of the job!

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CHERIRIDDELL 9/1/2011 12:07PM

    I love it , just the kind of thing I would do!

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PAMBWS 9/1/2011 10:48AM

    Love it...& the reality is - you got if from someone who cares...

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ALICIA214 9/1/2011 10:14AM

 

Good one Thank you!! emoticon

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CYNDIBEAR1 9/1/2011 10:05AM

  That is funny. I would hope it was your boss cause that would mean that he/she is a good boss to work for.

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Never Argue With A Woman

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?'

'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?')

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading'.

'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'For reading a book,' she replies,

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her again,

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading'

'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with Sexual assault,' says the woman.

'But I haven't even touched you,' says the game warden.

'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.'

'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUGARBABY60 9/4/2011 12:16AM

    You are da BOMB! funny lady!

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JAGRIF 9/2/2011 12:35PM

    Love it!

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TIME4COFFEE 8/31/2011 5:34PM

    It's illogical to argue with logic.

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INFLATED 8/31/2011 2:58PM

    I never expected this. My Dad was a game warden. We lived by Deep Creek Lake in Maryland and he patrolled the lake.

She was right. Just like the police, they have to witness the law being broken.

LOL at the humor!

You sure are racking up a lot of fitness minutes, what are you doing to rack up so many? Carolyn, I'm proud of you for working so hard. I know it isn't easy.

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CHERIRIDDELL 8/31/2011 11:45AM

    I like it .A healthy dose of humour is good for us !

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PAMBWS 8/31/2011 10:20AM

    Never argue with a smart, sassy woman!


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HOT4FITNESS 8/31/2011 10:19AM

    Thanks for the smile today!

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MONTY68 8/31/2011 10:16AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HARTKITTY 8/31/2011 6:49AM

    emoticon

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MRE1956 8/31/2011 6:44AM

    emoticon

emoticon for the much needed laugh from one who had a nasty visit from Irene......

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They say you should be specific

Monday, August 29, 2011

Doing more of my middle of the night reading....always looking for some motivation to keep going on this journey. Sleep would be nice but who's complaining. LOL

Here is what I read. Just thought I'd share it with you.


"When you set new goals for yourself, try to be as specific as possible. “I want to lose twenty pounds” is a goal you can aim to achieve. “I want to lose weight” is not. Knowing the specific measurements of what you want to achieve is the only way you will ever get to the end result you desire. Also, be specific with your actions too. “I will exercise” is not actionable. It’s far too vague. “I will take a 30 minute jog every weekday at 6PM” is something you can actually do – something you can build a routine around – something you can measure."




  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DLG0505 8/30/2011 2:32PM

    I specifically agree! And I liked what Inflated said about work too. And most importantly I'm glad I'm not the only one up in the middle of the night reading or doing miscellaneous things besides sleeping!

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INFLATED 8/30/2011 12:37PM

    I thought about this blog since reading it again today. Why is it, that when we have a paying job, we get there on time and work all day? I notice that since I have quit working, I do not set specific tasks to do every day. I may make a list, but it is not the same as if my boss had said, "I want you to do this, this and this before you go home today."

I think we allow ourselves to get stuck in a rut. That is my observation about myself. What you have written is true. If I think to myself, "I am going on a trip this weekend," I know I will get the dirty clothes washed so I can choose from all of my clothing." Otherwise, there isn't much concern over it.

Someone wrote, "I put the PRO in procrastination." Maybe by being specific and doing what we set out to do, we change this in ourselves. It is something for me to work on for myself. Thanks for posting this.

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VITCHY-VICKI 8/30/2011 8:07AM

    Not sleeping emoticonnot good but this is a emoticonblog
Thanks for sharing
Vicki

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CHERIRIDDELL 8/29/2011 11:09PM

    Excellent point and now I am home from holidays we can chat in the middle of the night as Sally will tell you I am often up in the midnight hours !

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LODESTONE 8/29/2011 1:30PM

    Succinct! It's so easy, so why do we have such a hard time getting our brains around it?

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MONTY68 8/29/2011 11:59AM

    Hi Carolyn
Thank you for sharing this. I love it and totally believe it what you said. Our mind and subconscious mind is so interesting how how it reacts to our thoughts . One I feel is so important is the statement that " Tomorrow I am going to (fill in your thought). If we think about it tomorrow never comes, and why that is true, when we wake up it is today-tomorrow hasn't come yet. That is why I think for some, they never get started because they are waiting for tomorrow. As You said, we need to be specific "I am going to start Tuesday August 30"
I am glad that you found such a book, it has the potential of changing one's life.

Monty emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PAMBWS 8/29/2011 10:32AM

    Specific & simple...those are the best goals.
And don't overload yourself...one thing at a time....

Great tips, Carolyn

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LLREED 8/29/2011 10:23AM

    That's great advice. How soon, and often, we forget this kind of stuff. Thanks, Carolyn!

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TIME4COFFEE 8/29/2011 10:15AM

    Good stuff Maynard...but I wish you were getting some sleep too!

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SHAPNUP 8/29/2011 8:07AM

    Thanks for this great reminder. emoticon

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FCARMICH 8/29/2011 6:52AM

  yes!

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INFLATED 8/29/2011 4:50AM

    Add some motion to the potion. That is why I think I liked the 10-minute a day challenge, it is specific and doable.

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BUTTERFLYMOMMA2 8/29/2011 4:27AM

    Great tips!

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NOLS

Saturday, August 27, 2011

I had a couple of things I wanted to tell you about today. I decided to tell you about NOLS. I am sure some of you are familiar with the National Outdoor Leadership School. If you want a unique experience or want to learn more about taking care of yourself in the outdoors, there isn't another school anywhere that can teach you more.

"Founded in 1965 by legendary mountaineer Paul Petzoldt, NOLS, is a not for profit educational institution--and takes people of all ages on remote wilderness expeditions, teaching technical outdoor skills, leadership, and environmental ethics in some of the world’s wildest and most awe-inspiring classrooms. What NOLS teaches cannot be learned in a classroom or on a city street. It takes practice to learn outdoor skills and time to develop leadership. The wilderness provides the ideal setting for this unique education.

With courses ranging from 10 days to a full academic year, we attract highly motivated students who want to learn how to lead. Our hands on, learn-by-doing approach means that our graduates get the skills they need to be competent, responsible wilderness travelers long after their course is over."

NOLS is headquartered in Lander, Wyoming. My daughter in law's parents were among the first instructors and outdoor guides, and my daughter in law is an accountant at their offices in Lander. It's a very unique building in the middle of a fairly small town, surrounding by some of the most beautiful country in Wyoming, or anywhere else for that matter. From humble beginnings to today's unbelievable size, it has "classrooms" throughout the world. It's a unique school.

They talk about Sinks Canyon in their information. It's a beautiful place, where my kids choose to be married. It's named that because the Popo Agie river runs rapidly through it and then sinks into a small hole. Two miles down the road it emerges again and becomes a river again. It's unique because the entryway is too small for anyone to explore it so no one knows what it's like, and then when it appears again it's a somewhat placid river. When you hike around the area you will see Mountain Goats and Deer, and there is always the presence of small creatures and I assume snakes, although I have never seen one there. The hiking trails at that location are ones even this old lady was able to manage....and enjoyed it very much.

Please don't take this as a advertisement for NOLS, but just as information you might be interested in if spending more time outdoors is your goal toward gaining a more healthful life. I decided to tell you about it because it's something I know about firsthand, and because Wyoming is near and dear to my heart.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

VITCHY-VICKI 8/30/2011 7:39AM

    that sounds so cool wish they had things like that around here thanks for info
Vicki

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JAM2DREW 8/29/2011 9:02PM

    Sounds like a beautiful and wonderful place.

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INFLATED 8/29/2011 4:05AM

    Our daughter lived for awhile in Sheraton, WY. She fell in love and is in Kansas now.


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NANCYLEE46 8/28/2011 7:59AM

    emoticon
Have a Blessed Sunday my friend.
emoticon emoticon
Nancy

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DLG0505 8/28/2011 12:16AM

    Amen Sister! I love Wyoming and if my parents were still alive and kicking I'd be living there or in Montana. If I win the Powerball I'd be gone in a heart beat.

I love, love the Bighorn Mountain range there. Now you made me homesick for the mountains. Might make a quicky trip out there during Labor Day!

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TIME4COFFEE 8/27/2011 3:37PM

    It sounds like a great program and a beautiful place.

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PAMBWS 8/27/2011 7:20AM

    Thanx for the information, Carolyn.

Sounds a lot like the Outward Bound program that runs here & actually around the world. Outward Bound has lots of similar programs...including desert survival, mountain, Arctic...etc. Programs for beginners wanting a comprehensive, fun & educational exposure to the out-of-doors to advanced, instructor programs are available.

Outdoor programs are a wonderful way for people to experience the many facets of outdoors.



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MEDDYPEDDY 8/27/2011 7:05AM

    As I live in Sweden I have very little chance to come across NOLS - but I found the information inspiring anyway because it reminds me that there are a lot of people involved in differeint outdoor activities - maybe I should explore that to get new ideas...

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