Diagnosis

Wednesday, January 04, 2012

Hello my friends!
Sorry I have not been here much, sorry I have not answered your very sweet messages. 2011 was a particularly difficult year for me. Turned out I have severe hypothyroidism and that was what had been causing so many problems- depression, irritability, constant exhaustion, lack of energy, very low sleep quality, loss of short term memory. My mind was foggy and felt like cushioned all the time- for someone who depends on her mind for work (I am a teacher, remember?) that was like eating mashed potatoes with a toothpick! . Swollen feet and hands and puffy face didn't feel nice either. My neck was sweaty and had a foul smell all the time no matter how much I washed it. didn't see that listed anywhere as part of the symptoms of hypothyroidism but I am now starting week 3 with the med and I don't have to worry about that any more so I guess the under-active thyroid had something to do with it. Lots of other symptoms, too. Not debilitating ones, but if you add all up, what you have is really poor life quality.
Because of my numbers in the blood tests, the endocrinologist guessed I must have been suffering for more than 5 years (my own guess is over 10 years). It is just that this is something that progresses very slowly so you think you're working too much, you're getting old, your weight doesn't help.
I only did some research and then went to the doctor with my list of symptoms and my own diagnosis already made because my depression was getting out of hand. I don't want anyone messing with my mind so I looked for other alternatives before going to the shrink. Btw, the doc didn't want to see my list but she asked me some questions, she felt my neck and saw that there was something there so she asked for blood and other tests.
So, this is a new path I am walking, hoping for a better year where my body lets me have a better life.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

Changing Ms. Fat one thought at a time

Thursday, January 27, 2011

I have been dieting for the last 20 years. And have been gaining weight alongside! I think I have enough experience in this field to say NO DIET WORKS!

We try to lose weight by focusing on what we eat- or the exercise we do- when we should be focusing on WHAT WE THINK, because that alone is what is going to make us lose weight for good.

When I had a really bad morning, I used to think "What the heck! My day is screwed anyway so I'd better eat what I want and enjoy it" Turns out most days are screwed before lunchtime- Shit happens (don't you love Forrest Gump?) And so most days well be turning to food and tv or internet for comfort.

Yesterday morning I spent 3 HOURS waiting in line to get my driving license renewed and the whole process took 3 MINUTES!!!!. I spent 2 hours and 57 minutes just waiting for my turn!!!! Whole MORNING wasted!

So I thought " Shit. DAY wasted. I won't go to the gym today. I'm too stressed"

Then I thought " No! It's BECAUSE I am stressed that I have to go!". And I did. And I felt better and I didn't turn to food for comfort instead.

Now that's how I'm going to defeat Ms. Fat!

FYI
- 3 weeks ago I came back to the gym after 15 years not doing any physical exercise. I weighed 227 pounds (193 kilos) and felt really embarrassed to go through that door. I have been going 3 times a week ever since and doing my best in there. Nobody passes judgement with their eyes as I thought they would-

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

UPDATE -to Flybabies especially

Saturday, April 10, 2010

ok, so here I am.

This has been a very long and very hard summer. Major decisions to take, and I am change-challenged. Financial problems that emotionally transported me back several years to my most difficult years. Depression kicked back hard.

I finally left behind an important position, a place I liked, a community I had been part of for 5 years. It was not an easy step. yet it was what had to be done. The position was so stressful it was undermining my physical and mental health.

Yesterday was my last day. I am looking forward to Monday when I can sense what life feels like without that load on my shoulders and that knot in my stomach.

I am part of a new community now. I am enjoying it. And I am enjoying my new position. I am just another teacher, not the head any more. I have 120 new students this year (up to last year it was 30 so a lot more work!). But the job is rewarding - my God-given ministry is being a teacher to teenagers. Some of my new students are economically disadvantaged so they can't pay for English private lessons and I can give them quality. I've already received shows of affection and gratefulness. Plus, the pay is better too!

Did I mention I dread change? I get all comfy and don't want to move. But God seems to have a sense of humour and he keeps sending me change regularly. BIG CHANGES. He pushes me towards the door till I see the only way to get him to stop is to move out. But he's always so loving that there's always a new door wide open for me.

So, this is where I've been. I am still shaking. I'm still weak. But I'm good. I can't promise to be here soon. I need to recover first-I am emotionally exhausted. But I am around, I have been reading your posts. And I'll be posting now and then. I loved Rhoda's idea of reviving some challenges. I may even join!

Thanks for your care and your love and your patience team!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

no bootcamp for 2 days

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

Well, it was impossible to do anything for 2 days, but, as flylady says "You're not behind, Just jump in!". so, that's what I'll do tomorrow!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

Bootcamp- failing cardio

Monday, January 04, 2010

I failed the Bootcamp cardio exercise twice. Yesterday I had thought of going for a walk with my dd, but she went out with some friends. I waited for her when then it was too late. Then I decided to go for a walk the next morning but had to wait for the painter and by the time he left it was lunchtime. I spent the rest of the day getting the room ready for him to start painting early tomorrow.

What I learned: 1- cardio has to be done fist thing in the morning so life doesn't get in the way. 2- stationary bike is something I can do if my plans to go walking fail. I just need to REMEMBER to be flexible!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post: