GODDESSLIL80   21,644
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Short & Sweet

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

So I mentioned my awesome Doctor?
I had mentioned to him that since I finished c25k I feel like I have no where to go. I'm trying to increase speed, but feel stuck. He suggested going through c25k again but this time focus on speed during the running portions rather than just living through it like I did the first time.
I'll admit I was skeptical, but he has never steered me wrong before. The first thing I got from it was a sense of accomplishment. It took me sometimes a month at a time to get through one week way back when. I also remember having to walk/ fast walk week one the first time. I was just so out of shape.
So I fully committed. I thought, "When it comes run time, I am going to RUN."
Holy heck people! I can't feel my butt. Maybe it finally fell off. It's about time.
Anyway I thought some of you who also finish c25k and feel a little lost would find this helpful. So I thought I'd share.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ZENXB! 2/23/2013 8:18AM

    I am almost through my c25k and did not know this. You are correct in saying the first time through I am just trying to live through it. My time is not great but I am "doing it". I will try that when I am done. Thank you for the advise, did not think of that at all!!!


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OLIVIANIGHT 2/19/2013 2:39PM

    Hmm that's a good idea!
I just downloaded a 5K-10K podcast, but if that turns out too hard I'm definitely going back and trying your idea : )

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BATCHICK 2/19/2013 1:56PM

    I love it! Get back to the basics... Your DR is wise.

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Update & some deep thoughts

Saturday, February 16, 2013

I am pretty much the same weight and measurements I was when I left.
I left, partly, because I had life issues to attend to. My daughter and I have been officially set up in our own apartment since September. I got promoted at work. I'm divorced, he is out of both of our lives, which makes me sad for my daughter, but we are otherwise thriving.
It's not easy to rebuild your life, and I feel like I do this every few years. I think this time it will be more permanent. I'm building my own foundation with my own two hands, and God help anyone who stands in my way or tries to take that away.
As I mentioned, I'm here (on planet Earth, not just spark) for whole health. It's not just weight loss. And sometimes that is not the main focus. Don't get me wrong, I still work out, I still eat so much better then I did.... but I am not striving for perfection.
My goals are more fitness oriented than a number on a scale or a dress size. I have run 3 more 5ks (one very slowly with my 4 year old) in my absence. I use the weight tracker only as a tool and go very long periods with out weighing myself at all. Granted, with fitness goals there will automatically be some weight loss, my current weight is not what it 'should' be. I am still 'chubby'.
I have PCOS, I don't expect many people to know what that is, just know it makes it very hard to lose weight. I have a doctor that has been monitoring my progress since I've been back in DE. I keep a private food/fitness diary that I share with my doctor. I only use Spark's tracker when I want to check calories in something or if I had a bad day, I force myself to look at it. I work for Starbucks. I'm a single mother & poor, sometimes I eat Starbucks food. I know where my problem areas are. My doctor knows where my problem areas are.
I am also never going to deprive myself of steak ... or a slice of birthday cake. Granted it will be in smaller portions than it used to be, and I maybe eating salad all the next day, but I'm eating that steak.
I get to live my life in happiness. Sometimes it's steak. Sometimes it's a camping/ hiking trip to somewhere wild and exciting. Sometimes its spending the day walking a big city. In the fall it's apple picking with my daughter. Sometimes it's painting. Sometimes it's being 204 pounds and running a 6 minute mile, when you used to weigh 265 and couldn't walk 10 feet with out getting winded.
I was offended last blog I wrote, which was a very positive and mentally healthy blog, & I received advice I did not ask for by people who are not only not my doctor but do not know me. I don't think it was malicious, and I am not angry now, but I was offended. And I went to a different weight loss community because of it. One I did not like as much as this one.
My first reaction to situations like that is to just not acknowledge the other people involved exist, because, and it may not be a flattering part of me, I just don't deal with most people or their nonsense or even 'like' 75% of the populace. I know that's not 'nice' but that's honest. I know it's a defense mechanism, I even know where it stems from ... doesn't change that it's there. I'm trying to better it. Things take time. Which is why I'm back here.
I am going to maintain my positivity and my class and simply say:
I lost 50 pounds, please don't tell me how I can do better.
I can run 10K now with a time average of 6 minutes a mile. I am proud of myself. Don't try to act like that's not huge for me.
I'm pretty sure most the people who comment are not doctors. I have a doctor. He's a very positive individual who still doesn't let me get away with nonsense. I respect his opinion, and he says I'm doing very well. That it should take the time I took to gain to lose the weight.
I accept as I move further down this path, I will receive more attention. God forbid, people may even look up to me. That makes me extremely uncomfortable, especially when I used to be a fat person that everyone ignored. This aspect is very much part of my journey. Which is why nothing is set to private, no matter how much I desperately want it to be.
I am here. I exist. I deserve to exist and be looked at. I get to be a whole human after years and years of having a half life.
Sometimes that means people are going to say things I don't like or accidentally (and I truly believe it wasn't purposeful) hurt my feelings, because that's life.
I've survived childhood abuse, an unhealthy marriage and subsequent abandonment of my child and I, and Ovarian cancer.
I reserve the right to say: my life, and therefore my spark people page, is a place of positivity only. We don't give 'advice' here on this page. We have too many other people in our lives who want to 'advise' us on how much 'better' we could be.
I'd mostly prefer all we talk about here be zombies and how supremely awesome we all are.
That is all.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALOFA0509 3/1/2013 2:24AM

    Ive missed U sista! Keep up the gr8 wrk emoticon emoticon

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SADWHITEWOLF 2/20/2013 8:25AM

    You are a strong and beautiful woman! Your progress is amazing!
I don't mind advice when I ask for it, but I do understand irritation over unsolicited advise especially when you are simply sharing your progress or accomplishments. It is easy to read it as "Yeah, well you could do better" To be fair, I think most people on here really are just trying to help so I try to keep persective and swallow any irritation.

My little sister has PCOS and feels trapped by her body because of it. (we also live in DE) Is there a good doctor or clinic you can reccomend? (Sparkmail would be awesome, or if you do not want to talk about it I respect that too)

Anyway, Welcome back!


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COSMIC_ENERGY 2/16/2013 8:58PM

    Sounds like you've found yourself and have what you want in life figured out.

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HPSANDDOLLAR 2/16/2013 4:36PM


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    Welcome back!

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JUSTLIKEALICE 2/16/2013 1:44PM

    You are awesome, I want to run the run for your life zombie race and I'm pretty awesome too! (Maybe your awesome and my awesome should talk more! lol)
I'm glad you are doing well, even with the bumps! I'm glad you have a doctor you like! I went through that struggle of finding one myself that I could communicate with and I know how relieving it is to find the "right" one. Yay you! That is so cool!
6 minute miles are freaking fantastic! I'm still at 12 minute miles but working on it all the time. Two years ago I couldnt run a mile and last year I'm sure I was laid up with a sprained ankle and couldnt run more than 2 so the fact that I can run 3-4 at that pace is progress. I remember reading about you running and thinking I need to get back to it. I think reading about other people doing things, after having been in similar situations is what motivates people to change. I've lost 45 pounds now, and people look up to me. Last year you were part of the reason I kept going, and now someone is telling me the same. I hope next year someone is telling her the same emoticon It's like pay it forward, or pass it along.

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My thoughts on being a chunky runner

Friday, July 13, 2012

Every 5 lbs I've been hitting a plateau. I feel it unfair that I've been working so hard and not losing pounds. I can officially run 10k on a 6 minute per mile time average. I have logged so many miles. I feel my butt should've literally fallen off my body by now.
I know it's b/c I've hit a weird in between phase where I'm gaining muscle faster than I'm losing fat. I know I'm still making progress. A year ago I couldn't even imagine being where I am now. I know all this, but it's annoying.
I've decided to be like a bumble bee... there's no logical way that my tiny wings should be able to support my chunky self, but I'm going to keep flying anyway.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BUBBLEJ1 7/14/2012 6:45PM

    That is an impressive speed!

I have to second everything DC has just said. You can't outrun a bad diet, do maybe look there first? Also, are you strength training? If not, start. It will do wonders for your running, both with speed and endurance. It also might help with your plateaus, as you will be burning more calories while at rest.

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DRAGONCHILDE 7/14/2012 5:09PM

    Okay, here's the thing. You're working out a lot, but you don't mention your food! Weight loss is about the food you eat, not so much the calories you burn! You're making amazing progress with your running! Don't get discouraged, though. If you are truly plateauing (as in, your'e not losing for weeks or months) then it's time to change something.

Are you strength training? What's your calorie intake like? Consider posting on the Fitness forum with your program, and get some help from folks!

I also took the liberty of peeking at your nutrition trackers, and I notice that you're very inconsistent with your tracking, and you're not adequately fueling your body. You're pretty much living on Starbucks, on the days you do track, and that's not good nutrition for your active lifestyle. It's okay to have that stuff in moderation, but remember, the quality of the fuel you put in your body is just as important as the amount of it.

Check out this article: (It's first in a series, and it should help!) http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource

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    Awesome! Your attitude is inspiring!

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NEWANDHEALTHY13 7/13/2012 1:15AM

  Keep on going on both the attitude and the exercise and sure you are very close to the horizon than you think.

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JUSTLIKEALICE 7/13/2012 1:08AM

    Keep on it girl! You are rockin, and have a fantastic attitude!

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EVIE4NOW 7/13/2012 12:56AM

  Love your attitude!

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JAOTTO 7/13/2012 12:53AM

  Good job. Keep going.

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Officially 50 Pounds down

Saturday, June 30, 2012

It's official, after one of the longest plateaus ever I have finally lost some weight and I am 50 lbs down from 256.
It wasn't easy. I've fallen off the wagon. I've failed. I've been injured. I've cried, screamed, and begged. I've gone through so many personal things since I started all this.
I've gotten through it ALL. I'm still here, and I'm not going anywhere.
50 pounds. 50 POUNDS. Gone.
Where'd it go?
Well, let's look at what I've gained. I'm a runner. Not just a runner, but a runner who can run a 6 minute mile average for 5 miles (at 206 thankyouverymuch). I am a zombies run survivor. I'm a dancer. I walk everywhere. I hike all the time. I play with my daughter now. I am a WII fit calorie torcher. I've gained so much self confidence and self respect.
It's not just about losing weight. For me it was looking at the things I thought I could never do and doing them, no matter how long it took. Taking my own challenges with my body and learning about myself. Redefining who I am and how my story is going to go. I learned to love myself, even though I'm not perfect. I learned it's okay to do something just for ME. I definatly have been 'sparked'.
So what now?
Well first I reward myself with that coach bag... b/c I earned it. I have about 50+ pounds to lose. Based on my height I should be 140 to 150 range, but I've always been more muscular than other women. I'm trying not to box myself into a number and judge myself on my 'athletic progress' (seriously who am I right now? LOL). If I end up 155 and can run a marathon, do I really care how much I weigh?
As for a mini goal? ONEderland anyone?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RIGHTEOUSBABE29 7/10/2012 7:17PM

    Wow...that is FANTASTIC! Good for you! emoticon What an inspiration!

I'm looking to start a running program; I've never run before though, and I'm a little scared. Any words of advice?

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DR1939 7/2/2012 4:36PM


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KAYYYDEE 7/2/2012 9:11AM

    Congrats to you for your weight loss. Sounds like you have what it takes to get down to your ultimate goal. I agree with you about the target weight. According to sites and charts and such, at my height, I should weigh 120-125. Before I had my daughter, I was at 132. I was thin, but not skinny. I was toned and in shape, and overall healthy. I want to be back at that weight. I almost think that the lower weight is just too small for me. I try not to put too much emphasis on the actual number.

Congrats again!!

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    So AWESOME!!! Keep it up!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MI-ELLKAYBEE 6/30/2012 11:47PM

    emoticon emoticon May God bless your continued success on this journey we all share!

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MJ7DM33 6/30/2012 11:28PM


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ANNETTEMARIE63 6/30/2012 11:07PM

    emoticon emoticon

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JUNA89 6/30/2012 11:06PM

    emoticon emoticon

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BLACK741 6/30/2012 11:04PM

    You are fan frikken tastic woman WHOO HOO and WAY TO GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>sounds like you have learned all the tools necessary to get you to onederland so look forward to reading that blog!

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JUSTLIKEALICE 6/30/2012 10:47PM

    You are awesome! Congrats love! :) emoticon

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HIGHNOON 6/30/2012 10:36PM

  I am so happy for you, onederland would be a good goal. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon


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Saturday, June 23, 2012

I've been out in the world, so I don't always track. As a single working parent, I've accepted that I can only do so much a day. Food tracking is too much to do daily, so I only do it when I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong (most of the time I already know what I did wrong LOL).
I've been hanging in there. I sprained my back a few weeks ago. It was awful. So I had a 'forced vacation' from working out. I can't say I was all that busted up about it. I totally ate like a jerk face too.
Though I have not gained any weight, I haven't lost either. I seem to keep hitting a plateau every 5 to 10 pounds. I've found that when I make statements such as "This is worth it even if I don't lose another pound" and "I don't judge my progress by my weight" that 'the powers that be' swoop in to make sure I really mean it.
Not to say there hasn't been progress. I ran (straight through) 4.3 miles with a time average of 7 minutes a mile. This is huge for me. And who knew a chubby girl could fly so fast? I'm no track star, but considering how long it took me and how far I've come, I'm pretty damn proud!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SWIMMERGIRL0222 6/24/2012 1:33PM

    That's an awesome distance and time for running! Great job! The number on the scale isn't always the best way to measure progress. Keep it up!

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JUSTLIKEALICE 6/24/2012 12:18AM

    Keep rockin it girl!!!

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