Monday, February 21, 2011
This morning I weighed in at 138.6 pounds… my lowest weight in a long time… probably since end of high school… maybe beginning of college.
When I first started Spark back in September of 2008, I set my goal to be 125.0 pounds. I picked it because it was what I remember as my healthy weight when I was younger. But as I got closer to goal, I got nervous about whether I could really get down to that weight. I got down to 139.6 pounds in May 2009. Right around then, I hit a plateau. I also decided to change my goal weight to 130.0 pounds (see my blog “Okay to change my mind?” from May 6, 2009). My weight stalled and went up to about 145.0 pounds for several months. Then it slowly continued to go up. I maxed out again at 165.8 pounds in August 2010. Around that time, I recommitted to Spark and reset my goal to 135.0 pounds.
Why did I change my goal so many times? I’m not really sure. I think I was afraid of whether I could actually reach my goal or not. I figured, if I raised it high enough, then there was no way that I couldn’t reach it. But now I’m only 3.6 pounds away from my newest goal and I am really reconsidering that goal. Why couldn’t I reach 125.0 pounds? I am definitely loving the way my body is changing. And I know that I could definitely tone up and lose another 13 pounds (darn saddlebags… lol). But I also know that if I only lose another 8 pounds and gain muscle, I would also be happy. I just know that I want to tone up and really create a fit body that can get me through anything I put it through.
My other question is about why I stalled for so long. I think there are a couple of reasons. The first is probably the most prevalent reason here on spark… I wasn’t sure I could reach my goal, and I doubted myself. I told myself I wasn’t able to and I wasn’t good enough. The next reason is that I was so focused on losing weight; I wasn’t sure what I was going to do once I reached my goal. If I wasn’t losing weight, what was I doing? Who was I once I lost that new part of my personality? I think this time around, I realized that there is still a lot to do once I lose the weight… I still want to tone and get fit… and then I want to stay fit. I want to be able to run a 5k… so that’s something to focus on. I also want to learn to do push-ups and really learn how to use all these muscles I am building.
So now I am getting closer to my goal weight, but I am nowhere near the end. There is still so much for me to do. The compliments are probably going to decrease, and that is something that I am going to have to adjust to. I love getting compliments (what can I say... lol)! But now that I am almost to goal, people really won’t be noticing my weight loss anymore. For those that have known me for awhile, it’s old news. For people that I will be meeting in the future, the fit me is the only me they will ever meet. I know it sounds superficial, but I will miss the compliments and the drive it gives me. Once I get one, I want another, so it drives me to work harder. I am going to have to find other things to drive me. I am going to have to learn to compliment myself.
Well… that’s enough soul searching for today… lol. I am really proud of myself for the progress I am making. I am learning what caused me to stall before, and busting past that. I know this time I will be able to continue on my path stronger than I ever was. And I can thank all of my spark friends for showing me the way… so thank you Spark for helping me find me again… I don’t know where I’d be without you.
Sunday, February 06, 2011
So I've been going to yoga now for about 5 months now... one time per week. I really enjoy it. I know it doesn't really burn a lot of calories, but I am okay with that. I do yoga for something other than a calorie burn. It is my me time. It is a time to focus on myself. It's all about being in the current moment. It's not about what happened before class, earlier that week, or what I have to do next week. I never thought I'd enjoy that time for myself that much. It has also really helped with my flexibility. I still wouldn't say I'm flexible, but I'm improving.
I've always been a perfectionist, so yoga was really hard in the beginning. I always wanted to do every move and pose perfectly without any assistance... no blocks, no straps, nothing. Slowly, I have learned that it is okay to not be perfect. As my yoga instructor has said, if you can't reach the floor, there is nothing wrong with you, there is something wrong with the floor. I have taken that to heart. I now use the blocks regularly. I don't overstrain myself in an attempt to be perfect. If I can't do the pose, I will do the modified version. I am making progress at my own pace, which I think is great.
So, I'm going to continue my yoga on a weekly basis. And I'm going to take what I'm learning and apply it to my everyday life. I don't have to be perfect. And I need to live more in the moment, not constantly stressing out about stuff that hasn't happened or that I can't control. More changes I'm making to make my life better... I love it!
Saturday, February 05, 2011
So it's been awhile since I wrote a blog other than challenge ones... so I thought I'd stop by and give an update. I guess I never really write because I don't really think anyone really wants to read about my life. But I'm going to go ahead and blog so at least I have a record of my journey.
Haven't really been up to anything fun lately. I basically work all day and then chill at home at night. The company Justin worked for shut down right after the new year, so he's been out of work for about a month now. It really sucks because he gets so sad staying home all day. But without the extra income, we really don't have the money to go out and do stuff, so we do alot of just hanging out at home. It's been harder getting out lately with all the snow/ice/sleet. We got another 3" of snow last night and we are supposed to get another 2-4" of snow later this week. I'm so over the snow. I like to get at least one good snow each winter, but this is a little excessive.
We do get to spend time together at the gym. I think that has definitely been helpful. It gives us time together and gets us out of the house. Plus it definitely helps to workout when you're trying to lose weight... lol. I've still been going to zumba on Wednesday and Saturday and yoga on Sunday. Justin has been helping me to incorporate weights into my workout schedule. I've been enjoying it so far. I still have a ways to go in that area, but I am feeling stronger. I do complain sometimes while I'm doing it, but I know that I am doing something great for my body.
Food has been something that I still think I'm doing good on. I still enjoy my favorite meals, even though they aren't super healthy, just in moderation. I'm making wings tomorrow for the Superbowl and I don't feel guilty about it. I know I'll go over calories, but I don't think that is horrible. Superbowl is only once a year, and I don't make wings all that often. I won't be doing all kinds of extra snacking, just enjoying my meal. I'm still working on the freggies area. I've never been good with that because I don't really like veggies. But I've been incorporating lots of fruit into my snacks. And I did try some asparagus the other day... didn't like it at all, but at least I tried it! I'm going to try and be a little bit more adventurous with my food.
I am participating in the BLC15. It's been a lot of fun. This is the first time I've actually been more active with the challenge and doing all the extra challenges and stuff. I think it is definitely helpful with my weightloss. I have all kinds of extra support. I only have about 8 pounds left to my goal. My original goal was lower, but when I was having trouble losing weight, I raised my goal 10 pounds... so after I lose these last 8 pounds, I may continue a little bit more. I'm a little nervous about getting close to goal. Last time I got close, I sabotaged myself. I think I was worried that if I wasn't working towards a goal number, I wouldn't reallly know what to do. This time, I think I realize that there is still a lot of work I would like to do even after I reach my "goal weight". I want to get more fit (see the comment above about more strength training). Plus, I think this time, it really is a lifestyle change and it really helps that Justin is in this with me. It's hard to do it without support from those around you.
So that's about it for now. I'm going to try and start blogging a little more often, so that way I have a better record for myself to look back on. I'm so happy I have Spark People. I love reading all the blogs and such. I never really comment on the blogs (I'm a blog stalker... lol), and to all my friends, I'm sorry I never really comment... but I am reading them and I love them! Hope you all enjoy the rest of your weekend!
Saturday, February 05, 2011
WEEK 5 WEEKEND CHALLENGE: H.A.R.D.C.O.R.E
OK team, this week the Navy Ninjas have invited us to challenge ourselves HARDCORE. I want everyone to know that even though it looks like a LOT, you are NOT expected to max out on all points. Rather, I recommend printing it out and working on whatever areas are most interesting and beneficial to you. It's Super Bowl weekend and we can all focus on health and wellness in some respect. It is the perfect flexible challenge, make it work for YOU! Participation, NOT perfection. EVERYONE can get at least one point!
NOTE: This challenge can be spread out however you desire between Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday (February 4, 5, 6, & 7). MOST IMPORTANTLY, limits posted are for the ENTIRE weekend; they are not on a per day basis.
H = Hydrate with non-caloric liquid = 3pts. for every 10 cups (no limit)
Friday 17 cups, Saturday 12 cups, Sunday 16 cups, Monday 17 cups
A = Accumulate cardio exercise minutes = 5pts. for every 45 min. (no limit)
Friday 25 minutes, Saturday 52 minutes, Sunday 74 minutes, Monday 25 minutes
R = Respond to blog entries written by your teammates = 2 points per response (limit = 8pts.)
Friday 4 responses, Saturday , Sunday , Monday
D = Document your journey by writing blog entries = 3 points per blog entry (limit = 12pts.)
Friday , Saturday 2 blogs, Sunday 1 blog, Monday
C = Count and log every single calorie that enters your mouth = 5pts. per day (limit = 20pts.)
Friday done, Saturday done, Sunday done, Monday done
O = Organize at least 4 small areas in your home – organization projects should take 15 min. or less each day = 3pts. per area (limit = 12pts.)
Friday , Saturday 1 area, Sunday 2 area, Monday
R = Relax by taking some “me” time (take a bubble bath, read, listen to music, etc.) = 2pts. per 15 minutes (limit = 8pts.)
Friday 15 minutes, Saturday 30 minutes, Sunday 15 minutes, Monday
E = Eat your freggies = 3pts. for every 5 servings (no limit)
Friday 3 servings, Saturday 2.5 servings, Sunday 2.5 servings, Monday 4 servings
TEMPLATE (WHOLE WEEKEND): H(18/no limit) A(15/no limit) R(8/8) D(9/12) C(20/20) O(9/12) R(8/8) E(6/no limit) TOTAL: 93
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