Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not subject to repeal.
There are old pilots and there are bold pilots. There are, however, no old, bold pilots.
Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.
Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.
The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.
The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice-versa.
Reliable sources report that mountains have been known to hide in clouds.
You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.
Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.
Good judgement comes from experience. Unfortunately, experience usually comes from bad judgement.
It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible.
Those computer gremlins are at work again. I finished typing my joke and was switching over to put in some emoticons and whoosh - said joke just disappeared so here I go again for a second time. Just take heed gremlins, leave my typing alone.
Friday, July 13, 2012
A drunk, staggering home, decides to have a rest in front of a church and falls asleep.
He dreams about God.
Humbled by the fact God is in his dream, the man asks,"God, is time different in your dimension?"
God replies,"My son, here one second is equal to one year". The man asks more questions and learns money has no consequence in te spiritual world.
He asks,"God, if money has no consequensence, could you give me a million dollars?"
God pauses and replies, "Let me think about it for a minute".
Posted this on the dealing with depression team page. Thought you might all enjoy this one.
Have a great weekend filled with joy and laughter.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
- Fear of Friday the 13th dates back to Nordic Mythology. Many of their
thirteen Gods met with violent deaths, such as Loki, the trickster.
- Ancient Romans regarded the number 13 as a symbol of death, destruction and
- A witch's coven consists of 13 members.
- Tarot card number 13 is the Death Card, depicting the Grim Reaper (although it
is read as transition or change and not literal death).
- Hotels rarely have a room number 13. Usually called 12 A or 14. Same with
floors of buildings and the elevators without a #13 button. Highways will
sometimes skip exit 13 altogether also.
- There are 13 steps leading to the gallows.
- There are 13 knots in a hangman's noose.
- The guillotine blade falls 13 feet.
- The driver of Princess Diana hit pillar #13 when she was killed in Paris, France.
Saturday, July 07, 2012
When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.
When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete.
The first place to look for informationis in the section of the manual where you'd least expect to find it.
When the going gets tough, upgrade. A complex system that doesn't work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.
A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want it to do.
Wednesday, July 04, 2012
I'm feeling terrible with a sinus headache and came across
this joke which made me smile. I hope you enjoy it too.
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades.
Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures.
Lately, their activities had been limited to playing cards a few times a week.
One day when playing cards, one looked at the other and said,
"Now don't get mad at me. I know we've been friends for a long time,
but I just can't think of your name. I've thought and thought, but I
can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."
Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared
and glared. Finally she said,
"How soon do you need to know?.
Here's to friendship.
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