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JOKE OF THE WEEK - Pilot Flying Rules

Wednesday, July 18, 2012


Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not subject to repeal.

There are old pilots and there are bold pilots. There are, however, no old, bold pilots.

Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.

Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.

The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.

The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice-versa.

Reliable sources report that mountains have been known to hide in clouds.

You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.

Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.

Good judgement comes from experience. Unfortunately, experience usually comes from bad judgement.

It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible.

emoticon emoticon

Those computer gremlins are at work again. I finished typing my joke and was switching over to put in some emoticons and whoosh - said joke just disappeared so here I go again for a second time. Just take heed gremlins, leave my typing alone.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TEENY_BIKINI 7/20/2012 10:06PM

    emoticon

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OPALMOON 7/19/2012 8:46PM

    Hi Anna!

Many pearls of wisdom and truisms there!

The planet Mercury is in retrograde motion and can play havoc with any kind of communications, merchandising and short distance travel (just over 2 weeks still to go...)

Hope you are keeping well!

Love and hugs, Nattacia

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GOANNA2 7/19/2012 2:41AM

    Glad everybody enjoyed it.


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PRAIRIECROCUS 7/18/2012 11:52PM

    emoticon

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PHATPAT18 7/18/2012 8:58PM

    Hilarious, keep em coming. emoticon

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SAM60SUMTHINK 7/18/2012 4:37PM

    AHA! The gremlins of cyber have been thoroughly warned! lol
Thanks for re-typing the joke; the chuckles you share are a joy!

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NESARIAN 7/18/2012 9:41AM

    emoticon

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MORTICIAADDAMS 7/18/2012 9:26AM

    I can relate to the gremlins. LOL. I am petrified to fly. I have only done it on one trip and that was enough. LOL.

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WELLNESSME09 7/18/2012 7:11AM

    emoticon thanks for sharing! emoticon

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ROX525 7/18/2012 7:08AM

    Funny! Thanks!!

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MRE1956 7/18/2012 6:32AM

    emoticon

emoticon for sharing!

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Joke of the Day

Friday, July 13, 2012

A drunk, staggering home, decides to have a rest in front of a church and falls asleep.
He dreams about God.
Humbled by the fact God is in his dream, the man asks,"God, is time different in your dimension?"
God replies,"My son, here one second is equal to one year". The man asks more questions and learns money has no consequence in te spiritual world.
He asks,"God, if money has no consequensence, could you give me a million dollars?"
God pauses and replies, "Let me think about it for a minute".

Posted this on the dealing with depression team page. Thought you might all enjoy this one.

Have a great weekend filled with joy and laughter.

emoticon emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PHATPAT18 7/18/2012 9:00PM

    love it.

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PRAIRIECROCUS 7/14/2012 10:35PM

    Nice, clean joke !
emoticon

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SAM60SUMTHINK 7/14/2012 9:10PM

    emoticon
LOVE IT!
Thanks for sharing the chuckle!!

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MEXGAL1 7/14/2012 10:58AM

    fun, thanks for sharing.
Have a great week end.

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LIBBYFITZ 7/14/2012 9:30AM

    emoticon

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DMF2012 7/14/2012 4:49AM

    Thanks for sharing!

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OPALMOON 7/14/2012 4:43AM

    Good one Anna! I needed that!

emoticon

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ONUTHIN125 7/13/2012 10:39PM

    emoticon

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PAMNANGEL 7/13/2012 8:13PM

    emoticon

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MAMATERRI58 7/13/2012 8:06PM

    LOL. emoticon

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MORTICIAADDAMS 7/13/2012 7:55PM

    LOL!!!!!!!

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HEALTHY14REAL 7/13/2012 7:45PM

    I had to think about it a second. LOL!!!

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JOANNAIMREADY 7/13/2012 7:37PM

    Thank You emoticon

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-WRKNG2ABTTRME- 7/13/2012 7:26PM

    emoticon

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OCLIAO 7/13/2012 7:12PM

  emoticon emoticon

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Friday the 13th Interesting Facts

Thursday, July 12, 2012


- Fear of Friday the 13th dates back to Nordic Mythology. Many of their
thirteen Gods met with violent deaths, such as Loki, the trickster.

- Ancient Romans regarded the number 13 as a symbol of death, destruction and
misfortune.

- A witch's coven consists of 13 members.

- Tarot card number 13 is the Death Card, depicting the Grim Reaper (although it
is read as transition or change and not literal death).
- Hotels rarely have a room number 13. Usually called 12 A or 14. Same with
floors of buildings and the elevators without a #13 button. Highways will
sometimes skip exit 13 altogether also.

- There are 13 steps leading to the gallows.

- There are 13 knots in a hangman's noose.

- The guillotine blade falls 13 feet.

- The driver of Princess Diana hit pillar #13 when she was killed in Paris, France. emoticon emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PHATPAT18 7/18/2012 9:00PM

    scary

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ROX525 7/18/2012 7:10AM

    Very interesting. I figure Friday the 13th is a Friday afterall and also a payday!

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PRAIRIECROCUS 7/14/2012 10:36PM

    emoticon

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LIBBYFITZ 7/13/2012 6:01PM

    Wow! The things I learn on Sparkpeople! emoticon

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MEXGAL1 7/13/2012 11:10AM

    wow, what fun facts. thanks so much for sharing.
Have a terrific week end.
Sallie

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OPALMOON 7/13/2012 10:58AM

    After having to be out yesterday, today was a write off for me, spending most of it in bed - sounds like the day to do just that!

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SAM60SUMTHINK 7/12/2012 7:26PM

    Interestingly, many people take Exit #13 to get to the Saratoga (NY) race tracks!!
Hmmm.... Coincidence? (Have indeed often thought it downright funny!)

Thanks for sharing!

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MORTICIAADDAMS 7/12/2012 3:06PM

    Loved the blog. Very interesting . And SCARY!! LOL.

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-LINDA_S 7/12/2012 9:47AM

    Ooooh! Spooky! Thanks for the info!

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JOANNANOW 7/12/2012 9:10AM

    Hmmm I was born on the 13th of August so I decided long ago that I like 13. I guess I am just a witchy women. I have a little road trip tomorrow and I hadn't realized it was Friday the 13th.... maybe my lucky day! LOL.
Interesting.
I hope you are feeling better now.
emoticon

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KSCRAP363 7/12/2012 7:55AM

    interesting trivia! Thanks for sharing.

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CHACHAOREO 7/12/2012 6:31AM

    I'm with SHERMOR13--I look on the positive side--my niece Kara;s birthday Oct. 13. Just a number!!

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FCARMICH 7/12/2012 6:25AM

  okay

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MRE1956 7/12/2012 6:22AM

    Thank you for the trivia!

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SHERMOR13 7/12/2012 6:20AM

    Hey - I'd not even thought about today being the 13th. However, in my family, 13 is an awesome number. My dad was born on September, Friday the 13th; I was born on March, Friday the 13th; I have two neices that tried -one being born on February, Thursday the 12th & the other on October Thursday the 12th. They almost made it. I also have 3 aunts that were born on Friday the 13th - SO we look at the positive side of the number and consider it a blessing!!!

Thanks for sharing!!!

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DEBBIELCG 7/12/2012 6:16AM

    interesting facts. thanks for sharing your research. emoticon

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Joke of the week - LAWS OF COMPUTING

Saturday, July 07, 2012

When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.

When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete.

The first place to look for informationis in the section of the manual where you'd least expect to find it.

When the going gets tough, upgrade. A complex system that doesn't work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.

A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want it to do. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SAM60SUMTHINK 7/10/2012 1:27PM

    emoticon

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TEENY_BIKINI 7/8/2012 4:34PM

    So so so so true!

emoticon

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SANDYW1945 7/8/2012 11:07AM

    Oh yes. Funny but really! So true. emoticon

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NANCYRUBIO 7/8/2012 9:07AM

    Been there did that!

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NANCYRUBIO 7/8/2012 9:06AM

    Been there did that!

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NANCYRUBIO 7/8/2012 9:06AM

    Been there did that!

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NANCYRUBIO 7/8/2012 9:04AM

    Loved your posting! Probalby because I have been I have been there- & done that. emoticon

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NANCYRUBIO 7/8/2012 9:04AM

    Loved your posting! Probalby because I have been I have been there- & done that. emoticon

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OPALMOON 7/8/2012 3:11AM

    Ahh,, the joys of technology!

emoticon

Hope you are keeping well Anna - have a good week!
Love and hugs, Nattacia

emoticon

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-WRKNG2ABTTRME- 7/7/2012 8:32PM

    emoticon

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GOPINTOS 7/7/2012 8:21PM

    emoticon

emoticon

Smile and Enjoy the Rest of Your Day!
Melinda (gopintos)
Dr Oz Show Fans Team


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MORTICIAADDAMS 7/7/2012 5:01PM

    So true!! LOL. I can totally relate to this.

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MEXGAL1 7/7/2012 4:16PM

    so true!

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NESARIAN 7/7/2012 3:47PM

    emoticon

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LIBBYFITZ 7/7/2012 12:22PM

    very finny!

too true.


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LKWQUILTER 7/7/2012 11:56AM

    You must have listened to me talking to my computer. lol

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13610511 7/7/2012 11:49AM

    emoticon

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What's your name again?

Wednesday, July 04, 2012

I'm feeling terrible with a sinus headache and came across
this joke which made me smile. I hope you enjoy it too.

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades.
Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures.
Lately, their activities had been limited to playing cards a few times a week.

One day when playing cards, one looked at the other and said,
"Now don't get mad at me. I know we've been friends for a long time,
but I just can't think of your name. I've thought and thought, but I
can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."

Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared
and glared. Finally she said,
"How soon do you need to know?.


emoticonHere's to friendship. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PHATPAT18 7/18/2012 9:03PM

    emoticon

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SANDYW1945 7/8/2012 11:09AM

    emoticon emoticon

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PCOH051610 7/7/2012 10:13AM

    Loved this joke! I have days like that all too often...I went to take my dogs out for a walk a few nights ago and my husband asked me why I was taking the wooden cutting board too! I had just stepped out to the patio and was bringing the cutting board in and forgot it was tucked under my arm.

I hope you are feeling better with that sinus headache.

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PARKERB2 7/5/2012 1:31PM

    emoticon

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LIBBYFITZ 7/5/2012 10:38AM

    emoticon

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MEXGAL1 7/5/2012 9:51AM

    Hope you are feeling better.
Very cute joke. I enjoyed it. thanks for sharing.

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SCREWIE 7/5/2012 4:32AM

    I wish I were joking when i say that I already do that at the ripe old age of... 41!

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JOANNANOW 7/5/2012 1:05AM

    emoticon
Hope your head feels better soon.
I'm glad you are back! emoticon

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OPALMOON 7/5/2012 12:16AM

    Hi Anna,

I've come across this one before and it always gives me a laugh!
Sorry to hear you have a sinus headache. I hope it goes very soon.
Take care of yourself - and thanks for your friendship!

Love and hugs, Nattacia

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PAMNANGEL 7/4/2012 9:59PM

    I've had days like that.

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MORTICIAADDAMS 7/4/2012 9:39PM

    ROFLMBO!! I hope you get rid of that headache soon. GF.

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CAROLJEAN64 7/4/2012 8:15PM

    I love this. I am one of a group of 4 friends my DD calls the 4 Moms. We joke about this kind of thing happening to us.... we range in age from 60 -70

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PATTOMMC3 7/4/2012 6:50PM

    Funny :)

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