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Thursday, June 24, 2010

I had just about finished my blog and it just wiped itself off and I am so annoyed. How and why does it happen?

Anyway, went to work and as it was non-contact time, got everything ready for next term.

Went to College and we started Women in Ancient Greece and Rome and have already been given a 1200 word essay to compare their life with Egyptian, Aztec or Aboriginal women. I have already gone to the library and started researching. I love this subject.

When I finished, came home and took some dinner down to Jean. I pointed out that her daughter was coming Saturday night but 2 am Sunday morning and my son and I would drive an hour to the airport to pick them up. She said"Who told you I can't drive at night? I should be going to get them." I told her that it is late for her and she shouldn't be driving and she got miffed at me again and was very cool. She told me she was going shopping tomorrow and I told her I will go with her and she said no. I can't do anymore than that. She has thrown out so much food as she is shopping everyday without a list and of course can't remember what she wants

As she had the dog, I told her I would take it for a walk along the Broadwater and she didn't want to come. It was a great stress reliever to watch the full moon shimmering on the water.

When I got home, I hit the books and already have decided how to do the essay.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LIBBYFITZ 6/25/2010 12:55PM

    The essay sounds interesting. emoticon You must be counting down the hours now! emoticon

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MUSIC66 6/25/2010 7:03AM

    your class sound interesting.

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    Your new class sounds so interesting. I know you will enjoy that.

I hope Jean behaves herself until her daughter gets back.

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HUNGRYWOMAN2 6/24/2010 6:41PM

Now is a good time to begin to detach and focus on the things which you enjoy.
I have come into the middle as usual and wonder if Jean has home health. It may be that if she is to stay at home she may need to decide to accept a live-in or individual staying most of the time. It is such a difficult time. I have been a live-in and particpated in respite care. I applaud your efforts and wish you the best in your academic endeavors.

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Thursday minus 3

Thursday, June 24, 2010

I went to work and jsut did paper work as we were off class today. I got the names of my GraDE 2's I will be working with next term and made up folders and photocopied work so that I can start straight away when we get back.

Boy oh boy am I looking forward to this break. Actually I am going to miss going to visit Jean but won't go till I get back from my little holiday.

After work I went to College and started on Ancient Greece and Rome and we have already been given an essay to compare women from these 2 societies with Egypt or Aztec or Aboriginal cultures so I have already started researching. I am excited.

After I finished, I came home and took some dinner to Jean and the full moon was brilliant and I took the dog for a walk and took in the lovely moon's shimmering reflection on the water. Jean was still not too friendly and she did ask me "Who told you I couldn't drive at night?" This after I explained Suzy was not coming home tomorrrow as it was only Friday and even though she has Saturday marked on the calender, I tried to explain that it would be 1am and my son is going to pick them up as they will fill up his petrol and she is insisting she should be the one going to picki up her daughter!

I said goodnight and said I would see her tomorrow. It is now Friday morning here and I will go to tuckshop for a morning tea only as we have to clean ovens and fridges aso won't be cooking. It will only be crisps and drinks, so should be finished early and then HOLIDAYS.


Wednesday and 4 days to go.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

emoticonI went to tuckshop and came home after a very busy morning/lunch service. Seems when it rains we are selling lots of hot chocolate!

I went home at 2 30pm and made something for dinner for Jean and I went past my friend's house to pick up the dog. Rosie was out on the street and the poor little thing is blind and it is scary to know she has figured a way to get out from the front fenced yard. She ran me down the street and I was huffing and puffing to keep up with her. When we got to Jean's she was putting lipstick on and getting ready to go out.

She played with the dog and told me she was going across the street to buy milk and fish and I said I would walk with her. Then she said she would walk back up with me as the walk would do her good. Strange, as she always tells me she cannot walk far, then she blurted out she was going shopping in the car and I told her as kindly as I could that she is not to drive alone or at least someone in the car with her and she went for me. Mean as and I was gobsmacked. "And why not, you can't tell me I can't drive" and I told her it was the law and tried to explain she should not be driving. Her keys are onthe housekey ring so I couldn't get them.

She had gotten rid of all the daily messages I had written her and she must hold me responsible for getting lost yesterday in the deep recesses of her mind if she can remember. But she has changed against me or maybe it is because she knows her daughter is back soon (she was convinced it was tomorrow) and can manipulate her. I told her the law says she should not be driving and she just smiled and said "Yes I can".

I feel gutted as she doesn't want me around now, but something else is going on and I must not take it personally I suppose. Then I get an email from her daughter living in London who has not seen Jean for ages at least 2 years, and she says that her mum might be forgetful and does not have dementia because when she talks to her on the phone Jean always says she is fine. Well Hello...

She was livid with me and I realise that now. I took on something that I had no idea what I was getting in to. I am a little upset at seeing the coolness and the lovely greeting when she used to see me has disappeared and theres seems to be an aloofness or maybe it is in my imagination...

Hang in ther slugger I say. It is a beautiful day and I should focus on my studies this aftern00n, Ancient Greece and Rome are on the agenda and I am so looking forward to that. Woo Hoo. Let the sun shine and count your blessings Anna emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MUSIC66 6/24/2010 5:05AM

    she seem a tricky lady.

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LIBBYFITZ 6/23/2010 9:18PM

    In people with dementia the frontal lobe , the part that guides our responses and tells us to behave in a proper manner is the first area to start deteriorating. So her rudeness and rages are because of that. Think of her more as a 2 year old! 2 year olds do not drive!!!!

I think you deserve a medal and agree that the police need to know about the escapade in the car when she got lost and blamed you!

All the best for a good day

We have a woman Prime Minister!!!! emoticon

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    My friend, I hope you will divorce yourself of Jean and her family. In my opinion you have been taken advantage of. You still need to notify her doctor and the DMV of her little driving excursion up the wrong lane of the interstate. I would not want to be around Jean. She is a lawsuit waiting to happen and an ungrateful and spiteful woman in my opinion. I hope that you will not do this again.

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Tuesday and the rainbow!

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

emoticonThis is a day I will never forget. I walked to Jean's after work and we set off to go visit her friend in the nursing home in Nerang which is a 25 minute drive. I told her to let me drive and she would not have a bar of it.

We set off and the first I knew that she didn't know where it was as she had been there 10-15 years ago. There was a sign to Nerang via the freeway and a way she had never gone before, so she said let's go here and then when she didn't know the surroundings she blamed me for telling her to go that way...

Well she had a total meltdown in the car and told me not to shout and to shut up and I was just praying that she would stop at a garage and we could ask . She was crying and saying she only knew haow to get there from Surfers Paradise and I was gobsmacked as I couldn't figure out. Evertime I told her the sign said, she would tell me to shut up and not shout and cry and carry on. My life was not worth living at this point and to say I was scared is not even close.

I finally got her to turn into a petrol station and the lady told us it is the third street on the left so when I started counting 1, 2, and turn left now,she completely ignores me and starts crying and carrying on and i then tried to tell her turn back and she doesn't or won't listen to me and we go round and round again till we get to Surfers and then she says I know where we are. I phoned my son on my mobile and told him to phone Shirley and tell her we are lost but on our way.

Then she says I know it's just down past these markets and promptly goes behind the markets and didn't listen to me that it was NO THROUGH WAY and we ended up on the freeway ramp going the wrong way and I started praying as I was never so scared. My guardian angel was there with me and we were able to turn around as people stopped as soon as they saw and we got on the way again. Well, turns out that she had not been there for 10-15 years and if I had known that, I would never have agreed to go. As she decided to turn back and go home
I saw the sign pointing to retirement village and told her to turn and we finally got there and it was sad to see the old friends greet each other - maybe for the last time.

They had a good catch up and reminisced about all the friends they had lsot and Jean still insisted it was the first time she had ever gotten lost, even though Shirley told her of a few times before. Shirley shouted us to coffee and cake and I will not deny that after this harrowing experience, I needed that carrot cake and had no guilt about consuming it. When I saw Shirley getting tired, I politely told Jean that we had better get going and this time when we left, the first sign that it would be easier came when we got to the car, the sprinkling rain and the sun gave us a treat emoticonand I knew my prayers had been noted from
above. This time Jean listened to me and we went straight home. She had no memory of the trip down and I am going to tell the doctor on Friday taht she must not drive.

On the way home she kept saying how it was like a prison where Shirley was and felt sorry for her. I hope this doesn't stonewall the going into care reasoning. The thing that hurt me was that when Shirley asked Jean if I was a good cook, she said she didn't know so doesn't recall that I have been taking her food...but did say that her daughter was a brilliant cook. Does that mean she didn't eat my food or jsut doesn't remember, I hope it is the latter.

Thank you God for getting me/us home safely and for giving us the beautiful rainbow. I am sure when I go today I will see that she won't remember a thing of the harrowing trip but just that poor Shirley is in a 'prison' where she is.

Roll on Saturday and we are going to pick my friend up at Brisbane airport at 1am Sunday morning so I will get a rest.

I am off to tuckshop now and will run off the carrot cake and make up for the walk I missed yesterday.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MORTICIAADDAMS 6/23/2010 12:30PM

    Jean is senile and a danger to herself and others. You must tell the doctor and the department of motor vehicles and you need to hide her keys in the mean time. You are fortunate to be alive.

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LIBBYFITZ 6/23/2010 9:44AM

    I am so glad you are alive to tell the tale. And no, people with dementia remember past events better than recent ones, so she just has no memory of you're cooking. Very hard. I think you need to hide the car keys! She is a danger to herself and others on the road. That was such a scary story!
not much longer now!!! emoticon

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SHORTLY 6/22/2010 9:10PM

    IS Jean your sister?? What a day, God bless and keep you as he did today. emoticon

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Monday and full speed ahead to the finish line.

Monday, June 21, 2010

I went to work at 9am and when I got home at 12 30pm, I mad a quick rump roast in the oven bag and vegies then picked up Rosie from my friend's and was at Jean's by 1.50pm. Pretty goo I thought.

Jean was asleep and said she has been feeling tired and I am hopin she doesn't have a stash of other meds I know nothing about. Anyway, we had a coffee and talked about going to see her friend Shirley in the nursoing home tomorrow. I left the dog with her and went for a walk with mys ister, and told her I would be back to take Rosie home.

My sister and I got to talking and realized it would be dusk soon so I got off my butt and walked back to Jean's(40 minutes) Picked up Rosie and could smell the roast and knew she had had dinner and when I checked the meds, she hadn't taken them even though these are the dinner ones.

I argued with her to take them in front of me but she kept insisting they were for after dinner and she would take them when she was ready and was getting really annoyed with me, so apart from forcefully making her take them, I left and prayed to God that she would do so. I didn't want her to hate me, so I left. I noticed she hadn't taken them for the last 2 nights either and maybe that is why she is so tired. All I can pray is that there is no renal failure...

So, roll on Saturday, but it will actually be Sunday as the daughter gets back late at night. I finish at 12 today and will go straight down to her.

I have made a vegeterian moussaka and will take her some.
Roll on Sunday as the repurcussions are huge as I have only just realized what a huge responsibility I have taken on. I just thought I was helping my friend go on her holiday and thought"how hard can this be?"

I know better than to offer this again, but in retrospect, I would probably do the same.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    It was generous of you to offer to help but it's too much and people like Jean only get worse over time.

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LIBBYFITZ 6/21/2010 11:06PM

    Of course you would do it again, cause that is who you are, a helper, a kind person. I have also learnt that you need to look hard at you're own life and work out, can I do this and stay SANE!

I offered to have my niece(cajoled by her mother, my sister!) and her toddler(niece pregnant with 2nd !) and all of 19yrs old. It didn't work out and not a nice ending at the time. 10 years on and she is in a much better place in her life and so am I!

So you are number 1!!!! emoticon emoticon

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