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Wednesday and 4 days to go.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

emoticonI went to tuckshop and came home after a very busy morning/lunch service. Seems when it rains we are selling lots of hot chocolate!

I went home at 2 30pm and made something for dinner for Jean and I went past my friend's house to pick up the dog. Rosie was out on the street and the poor little thing is blind and it is scary to know she has figured a way to get out from the front fenced yard. She ran me down the street and I was huffing and puffing to keep up with her. When we got to Jean's she was putting lipstick on and getting ready to go out.

She played with the dog and told me she was going across the street to buy milk and fish and I said I would walk with her. Then she said she would walk back up with me as the walk would do her good. Strange, as she always tells me she cannot walk far, then she blurted out she was going shopping in the car and I told her as kindly as I could that she is not to drive alone or at least someone in the car with her and she went for me. Mean as and I was gobsmacked. "And why not, you can't tell me I can't drive" and I told her it was the law and tried to explain she should not be driving. Her keys are onthe housekey ring so I couldn't get them.

She had gotten rid of all the daily messages I had written her and she must hold me responsible for getting lost yesterday in the deep recesses of her mind if she can remember. But she has changed against me or maybe it is because she knows her daughter is back soon (she was convinced it was tomorrow) and can manipulate her. I told her the law says she should not be driving and she just smiled and said "Yes I can".

I feel gutted as she doesn't want me around now, but something else is going on and I must not take it personally I suppose. Then I get an email from her daughter living in London who has not seen Jean for ages at least 2 years, and she says that her mum might be forgetful and does not have dementia because when she talks to her on the phone Jean always says she is fine. Well Hello...

She was livid with me and I realise that now. I took on something that I had no idea what I was getting in to. I am a little upset at seeing the coolness and the lovely greeting when she used to see me has disappeared and theres seems to be an aloofness or maybe it is in my imagination...

Hang in ther slugger I say. It is a beautiful day and I should focus on my studies this aftern00n, Ancient Greece and Rome are on the agenda and I am so looking forward to that. Woo Hoo. Let the sun shine and count your blessings Anna emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MUSIC66 6/24/2010 5:05AM

    she seem a tricky lady.

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LIBBYFITZ 6/23/2010 9:18PM

    In people with dementia the frontal lobe , the part that guides our responses and tells us to behave in a proper manner is the first area to start deteriorating. So her rudeness and rages are because of that. Think of her more as a 2 year old! 2 year olds do not drive!!!!

I think you deserve a medal and agree that the police need to know about the escapade in the car when she got lost and blamed you!

All the best for a good day

We have a woman Prime Minister!!!! emoticon

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    My friend, I hope you will divorce yourself of Jean and her family. In my opinion you have been taken advantage of. You still need to notify her doctor and the DMV of her little driving excursion up the wrong lane of the interstate. I would not want to be around Jean. She is a lawsuit waiting to happen and an ungrateful and spiteful woman in my opinion. I hope that you will not do this again.

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Tuesday and the rainbow!

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

emoticonThis is a day I will never forget. I walked to Jean's after work and we set off to go visit her friend in the nursing home in Nerang which is a 25 minute drive. I told her to let me drive and she would not have a bar of it.

We set off and the first I knew that she didn't know where it was as she had been there 10-15 years ago. There was a sign to Nerang via the freeway and a way she had never gone before, so she said let's go here and then when she didn't know the surroundings she blamed me for telling her to go that way...

Well she had a total meltdown in the car and told me not to shout and to shut up and I was just praying that she would stop at a garage and we could ask . She was crying and saying she only knew haow to get there from Surfers Paradise and I was gobsmacked as I couldn't figure out. Evertime I told her the sign said, she would tell me to shut up and not shout and cry and carry on. My life was not worth living at this point and to say I was scared is not even close.

I finally got her to turn into a petrol station and the lady told us it is the third street on the left so when I started counting 1, 2, and turn left now,she completely ignores me and starts crying and carrying on and i then tried to tell her turn back and she doesn't or won't listen to me and we go round and round again till we get to Surfers and then she says I know where we are. I phoned my son on my mobile and told him to phone Shirley and tell her we are lost but on our way.

Then she says I know it's just down past these markets and promptly goes behind the markets and didn't listen to me that it was NO THROUGH WAY and we ended up on the freeway ramp going the wrong way and I started praying as I was never so scared. My guardian angel was there with me and we were able to turn around as people stopped as soon as they saw and we got on the way again. Well, turns out that she had not been there for 10-15 years and if I had known that, I would never have agreed to go. As she decided to turn back and go home
I saw the sign pointing to retirement village and told her to turn and we finally got there and it was sad to see the old friends greet each other - maybe for the last time.

They had a good catch up and reminisced about all the friends they had lsot and Jean still insisted it was the first time she had ever gotten lost, even though Shirley told her of a few times before. Shirley shouted us to coffee and cake and I will not deny that after this harrowing experience, I needed that carrot cake and had no guilt about consuming it. When I saw Shirley getting tired, I politely told Jean that we had better get going and this time when we left, the first sign that it would be easier came when we got to the car, the sprinkling rain and the sun gave us a treat emoticonand I knew my prayers had been noted from
above. This time Jean listened to me and we went straight home. She had no memory of the trip down and I am going to tell the doctor on Friday taht she must not drive.

On the way home she kept saying how it was like a prison where Shirley was and felt sorry for her. I hope this doesn't stonewall the going into care reasoning. The thing that hurt me was that when Shirley asked Jean if I was a good cook, she said she didn't know so doesn't recall that I have been taking her food...but did say that her daughter was a brilliant cook. Does that mean she didn't eat my food or jsut doesn't remember, I hope it is the latter.

Thank you God for getting me/us home safely and for giving us the beautiful rainbow. I am sure when I go today I will see that she won't remember a thing of the harrowing trip but just that poor Shirley is in a 'prison' where she is.

Roll on Saturday and we are going to pick my friend up at Brisbane airport at 1am Sunday morning so I will get a rest.

I am off to tuckshop now and will run off the carrot cake and make up for the walk I missed yesterday.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MORTICIAADDAMS 6/23/2010 12:30PM

    Jean is senile and a danger to herself and others. You must tell the doctor and the department of motor vehicles and you need to hide her keys in the mean time. You are fortunate to be alive.

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LIBBYFITZ 6/23/2010 9:44AM

    I am so glad you are alive to tell the tale. And no, people with dementia remember past events better than recent ones, so she just has no memory of you're cooking. Very hard. I think you need to hide the car keys! She is a danger to herself and others on the road. That was such a scary story!
not much longer now!!! emoticon

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SHORTLY 6/22/2010 9:10PM

    IS Jean your sister?? What a day, God bless and keep you as he did today. emoticon

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Monday and full speed ahead to the finish line.

Monday, June 21, 2010

I went to work at 9am and when I got home at 12 30pm, I mad a quick rump roast in the oven bag and vegies then picked up Rosie from my friend's and was at Jean's by 1.50pm. Pretty goo I thought.

Jean was asleep and said she has been feeling tired and I am hopin she doesn't have a stash of other meds I know nothing about. Anyway, we had a coffee and talked about going to see her friend Shirley in the nursoing home tomorrow. I left the dog with her and went for a walk with mys ister, and told her I would be back to take Rosie home.

My sister and I got to talking and realized it would be dusk soon so I got off my butt and walked back to Jean's(40 minutes) Picked up Rosie and could smell the roast and knew she had had dinner and when I checked the meds, she hadn't taken them even though these are the dinner ones.

I argued with her to take them in front of me but she kept insisting they were for after dinner and she would take them when she was ready and was getting really annoyed with me, so apart from forcefully making her take them, I left and prayed to God that she would do so. I didn't want her to hate me, so I left. I noticed she hadn't taken them for the last 2 nights either and maybe that is why she is so tired. All I can pray is that there is no renal failure...

So, roll on Saturday, but it will actually be Sunday as the daughter gets back late at night. I finish at 12 today and will go straight down to her.

I have made a vegeterian moussaka and will take her some.
Roll on Sunday as the repurcussions are huge as I have only just realized what a huge responsibility I have taken on. I just thought I was helping my friend go on her holiday and thought"how hard can this be?"

I know better than to offer this again, but in retrospect, I would probably do the same.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    It was generous of you to offer to help but it's too much and people like Jean only get worse over time.

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LIBBYFITZ 6/21/2010 11:06PM

    Of course you would do it again, cause that is who you are, a helper, a kind person. I have also learnt that you need to look hard at you're own life and work out, can I do this and stay SANE!

I offered to have my niece(cajoled by her mother, my sister!) and her toddler(niece pregnant with 2nd !) and all of 19yrs old. It didn't work out and not a nice ending at the time. 10 years on and she is in a much better place in her life and so am I!

So you are number 1!!!! emoticon emoticon

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Sunday and counting...

Sunday, June 20, 2010

I walked to Jean's this morning and stayed and chatted for a few hours. Had gotten up early and made fresh pumpkin soup and took some down for her.

She is so grateful and thanks me profusely. It is nothing really as there's always an extra plate of food at my place.

My friend from the mountain came and picked me up at 1pm and we went to the local outlet shopping centre. Janis found lots of bargains. I, on the other hand,was broke and resisted the 'sales' as it is our end of year dales now(June 30). The winter solstice is tomorrow, June 21st and as we have such a short winter, the winter clothing will be gone from the rack by the beginning of July here.

On the way home I grabbed some fresh mushrooms, granny smith apples and a huge eggplant which I will use for mousaka tomorrow, I'm salivating thinking of it as I have not had it in ages. Of course it will be low fat version.

I will go to Jean's early inthe morning and will cut up some fruit salad for her as she had offered me an apple today and her hands trembled while she was peeling it. She says she has no appetite, but if it is made up she will eat it. It feels like I have gained a grandmother, and I will still visit when my friend and I start going for our evening walks.

God bless my friends and let's all be grateful for what we have achieved.
Have a great week emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    Jean is a very lucky lady to have you as a friend.

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KISHEGER 6/20/2010 10:18AM

    Your are so energetic.

Remember to take care of yoruself too!!

Hugs and have a great week!!
emoticon emoticon

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LIBBYFITZ 6/20/2010 9:55AM

    Mmmm Mousaka sounds nice. I don't do a lot of cooking with eggplant. DH not keen on it, but might have a go while i am still here. Have a great monday! emoticon

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Wow! I can't believe I'm on the last week of looking after Jean!

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Saturday was a fairly good day, I must say.

I picked up Rosie the dog on the way to Jean's, went via the chemist
to pick up the new webster med pack and got to Jean's at 10 30. She
was happy to see me and made an expresso for us.

I gave her a hand to hang out her washing downstairs and of course the communal clothes line was packed so she went to knock on doors to find the
clothes' owners. I just kept hanging the clothes where there was space
on the line and of course my way was not good enough and she changed pegs
to be uniform in colour. This must be a trait some women have and I certainly
don't as I just grab a peg out of the basket and hang the clothes up.

Took the dog for a walk by the Broadwater and went back to her unit for lunch.
Another expresso and by this time I feel like I am all coffeed out! When I told her at 1 30 that I had to leave as I had a doctor's appointment at 2, she said she would give me a ride and no amount of arguing that I wanted to walk would suffice.

She was so insistent. Anyway she drove me there and I thought she would wait but said she would go home and wait for my call to come and pick me up. I tried to tell her that she could not drive without me in the car fell on deaf ears, no pun intended.

I was out in 20 minutes with the great news that the old ticker is great and that
is why I was out so early. When I took Jean for hers 2 weeks ago,the procedure took 50 minutes. I put that down to the over 20 years in age difference, so it is a reminder to keep up the exercise and healthy eating habits.

I decided to grab a few things at the local IGA across the street and walk home as
surprise surprise, Jean was not outside and I just hoped that she went straight home. I ended up with 7 bags of heavy groceries and phoned my son to come and get me as the weighting game was just too heavy and there was no way I could tackle the hill.

Had I phoned Jean, I would've used up all my phone credit trying to get her to understand,as she would never hear the phone. Silly me forgot to write the directions telling Jean to wait or that I would phone. Of course when she gets home she just takes off the hearing aid and whenever I phone she can't hear the phone.

As soon as I got home I phoned and she sounded so confused. She said she looked for me and drove round and round and couldn't find me. How stupid of me not to forgo the shopping and not go straight to her house. I calmed her down and said I was on my way down to calm her down so that she could have a good nigh's sleep. Poor dear, she also got tired getting her washing off the line, instead of waiting for me to do it.

Anyway, after I made sure she had something to eat and was calm and relaxed and warm, I left for home and just chilled out reading a novel by an Australian writer, Tim Winston. The poor house needs a good spring clean and will tackle that during the coming school holidays next week.

It is 8 13 am Sunday and this is the winter solstice and am already proofing bread and making pumpkin soup to take down to Jean in about 2 hours. My friend from the mountain is coming to take me for a drive at 12 30 so I can get a few hours respite myself.

The countdown is now a reality and this time next Sunday I won't be baby- sitting anymore, but I will miss my daily encounters with this amazingly spirited woman whom I have grown quite fond of over these past 5 weeks.
Let's hope today is equally good too.To be continued...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LIBBYFITZ 6/20/2010 1:49AM

    What a journey you have had! Only a week to go , you will miss her but not all the worry!Well done for surviving! emoticon

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MORTICIAADDAMS 6/19/2010 10:26PM

    After this period with Jean you will probably need some rest. LOL.

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HUNGRYWOMAN2 6/19/2010 9:34PM

You have both gained so much from your time together. Not many are priveliged to share in such relationships. Your interactions may change, but the connection you share will always be there.
Now it is time for a little respite.

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MUSIC66 6/19/2010 7:18PM

    you are doing a great job.

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KISHEGER 6/19/2010 6:47PM

    Well, it indeed sounds like a challenge at times, but you are doing so well. While it has been great, I am sure you will welcome a break . Doing this was really nice of you and I am sure her daughter cannot thank you enough for giving her a chnce to get all her energies back and be rested again.

>Have a great but uneventful week.

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