Thursday, April 28, 2011
My dog, Max and I, have been going on walks at least once each day this week. The past few days, we have done our walks in the evening, but this morning I was up early so I decided to give a morning walk a try. We went to the park only a couple miles from my house and he LOVED it! It was really windy this morning so of course he was having loads fun chasing everything blowing across the trail ahead.
I'm starting to really like going on walks with Max. He can slow me up from time to time, but it's the fact that I'm not only working towards my health, but my dogs health too that keeps me going! If I were just going on a walk for myself this morning, with the wind the way it was, I would have just stayed inside and done Wii Fit or possibly nothing at all. He is a little bundle of motivation!
Now I am wondering if I should put my gym membership on hold. It would save us $150.00 to put the membership on hold through the summer months, but, on the other hand, I really like having the gym available for those really humid days/nights. I think that I will talk to my husband a little more before I act on anything. Any opinions are welcome here, too!
Well, it's time for me to jump in the shower for work! Have a great day, sparkers!
Sunday, April 24, 2011
I made salmon for the first time tonight and it was delicious. I sort of made up my own simple recipe and wanted to share it:
(2) 4 oz. fresh salmon
1 tsp. salt
1 tbsp. garlic powder
1/2 tbsp. dill
Mix salt, garlic powder and dill. Rub salmon with seasoning mixture. Squeeze 1/2 lemon on salmon. Heat grill on high, place salmon directly on grill plate for a minute on each side. Remove salmon and layer grill with tin foil. Place salmon on tin foil and cover for 10 minutes. Every few minutes, uncover salmon to squeeze more lemon juice on top. Garnish with leftover lemon slices.
The husband loved it! I'll be making this again!
Sunday, April 24, 2011
It's almost been two weeks since I last blogged. After the news from my neurologist, I kind of went in to hiding again. I need to work on pushing through the tough times, to continue eating well and making good decisions for myself even when the going gets tough. Lately, it's been more like when the going gets tough, Kalyn gets going... far away from everything. I want to change that, I do.
I've gained the weight back that I tried so hard to lose at the beginning of the month. If there is one thing that I am proud of, it is that I always come back to try again. If I didn't do that, who knows how high of a weight I would balloon up to. The great thing about life is that each day is a new chance. I've decided to come out of hiding and refocus on myself, again. I'm not going to assume that this is going to be "the time" when I finally lose "the weight" and ride in to the sunset happily ever after. If this journey has taught me anything, it has taught me that there is no waiting for that sunset, and that the happily ever after is now. It's all in how I live each day.
I had an MRI for my spine on Thursday and it was the first time that I had to get an MRI in a closed machine. Our hospital has the really small closed machine. I couldn't believe that I even fit in it! I'm not claustrophobic, but I believe that everyone can be claustrophobic if you try to fit them in a tight enough space! My arms had to lay on top of my body because the machine wasn't wide enough for me. Then, the machine wasn't tall enough for my arms to be on top of my body. They drug along the top of the machine as she pushed me in, and my shoulders were flush with the sides of it. I was afraid that they wouldn't be able to pull me back out. I asked her to try to pull me out a couple of times before I agreed to laying there for 45 minutes. I didn't finish my entire scan. It was suppose to take 1 hour and 30 minutes and I only lasted for 45. I almost passed out when she pulled me out the last time, I had to sit down for a few minutes. It was a horrible experience and I don't think that I could bring myself to do another closed MRI... not at this weight. Unfortunately, I am going to be on annual MRI's for this disease. Maybe even more than once a year. Losing this weight isn't an option, I need to do it, for my health.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
**Warning: This blog isn't going to help anybody but myself, I apologize in advance!**
To recap, since December 2010, I have been having dizzy spells or these weird "attacks". My eyes have been bouncing, blurry, and even doubled at some times. I started getting tremors down my arm and legs, with weird numbness that comes and goes. I've been having some memory loss, mixing up words, and a lot of neurologic issues. My family doctor suggested an MRI. It was relatively painless, aside from the needle injecting dye in to me. (Let me also state that I hate needles.)
So, the MRI came back with an arachnoid cyst in my brain and non-specific white matter. They set me up with a neurologist, which was really scary for me. Well, this was the least of my worries. At the appointment he informed me that he believes that I have an early onset of Multiple Sclerosis. Okay, fine... I have an aunt with MS and if she can deal with it, so can I. Well, in order to diagnose me, I had to go through a series of tests. I had to get blood work, go through evoked potentials testing, and I had to get a spinal tap. (Remember how I hate needles?)
The spinal tap was the worst thing that I have ever had done to me in my life. They had to go in three times and it was extremely painful. (NOTE: It's not painful for everyone, so if you have to get one done, please don't go running. It's different for everyone!) They were unable to get my spinal fluid out, so they kept pushing around in there and I was screaming and crying. It was extremely tramatizing and I still have nightmares.
After recoving from the spinal tap for a week, I then had to get evoked potentials testing and bloodwork. Once I had all of that done, it was 6 weeks later which brings us to the present. Today was my neurologist appointment, the one where he said we should have definite answers. I have been so nervous and anxious about this appointment, yet so hopeful for some REAL answers.
To sum up the appointment, he had no definite answers for me. He actually is referring me to a specialist in Pittsburgh who specializing in sarcoidosis and multiple sclerosis. My neurologist told me that I definitely have either MS or Sarcoidosis, he just isn't able to tell which because they are so similar. So, basically, still no treatment. I am so totally disappointed, I don't even know what to do with myself. I want to hide from the world and just give up on all of my future appointments/testing. My neurologist has me now getting blood work done three more times, he has me on an extremely high dose of vitamin d because of my past bloodwork results, and he has me signed up for another MRI (this time of my spine) and a chest x-ray.
I have used so much time from work to get me to this point, I don't know what I am going to do about future appointments. Also, speaking about this point, what IS THE POINT? I am at the same place where I was at my first appointment with this guy 6 weeks ago. WE ARE STILL IN THE MAYBE STAGE! I went through so much pain and so much anxiety for nothing. I am so discouraged, and frankly, I am pretty depressed over this. I feel helpless, hopeless, and alone. Even though I have the most supportive husband in the world, I feel alone in my symptoms.
Again, sorry that this blog isn't helpful to anyone else. I just needed to vent.
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