Saturday, August 01, 2009
I am pretty disappointed in myself right now. A lot of other people set out to lose weight before my wedding and they did so! Today was my fiance's aunts wedding and I showed up weight 243 pounds only 15 pounds less than 10 months ago. I'm sorry, but 15 pounds in a very heavy person does not show up as well as it does in a much lighter person. I know that I should be happy for myself for losing 15 pounds but I still feel like I am in the very begining of this journey, AND I AM! I just wish that I would have lost more weight before my wedding. My wedding is taking place next month and there is no way that I am going to make my goal. I already had to readjudst it the first time, and now, I just dont know. I feel like a failure even though I have lost 15 pounds. This is what happened last time that I lost 13 pounds. I felt like a failure so I gained it all back and then some. I wish that I could stop this vicious cycle. I have to stop it, for my own good.
Thanks to a 11 minute jog (not in a row, mind you) and 22 minute walk and some very encouraging comments below I have lifted myself out of my disappointed funk! I was just thinking of how far I have come and how I NEVER want to weigh as much as I did 10 months ago EVER again. So obviously I have made some progress because I know that I dont want to go back, I just want to move forward, and thats all I can do!