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Let's talk about me - lifted from Ravenlocke who lifted it from ?

Monday, February 08, 2010

"If you've are reading this, you have the honor of copying all these goofy questions and writing your own responses! Paste these instructions in the body of your blog."

1. What time did you get up this morning? 7 - a little later than normal because I did not pick up my sister for work, she is sick

2. How do you like your steak? Medium rare

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? On Saturday, "It's Complicated" - really enjoyed it. I frequently go to the movies - 2 or 3 times per month is now normal. Before I married at LEAST once per week.

4. What is your favorite TV show? I watch very little TV. The last thing that I watched regularly was Survivor about 2 seasons ago. I watched it with my sister. But now we work and commute together so I talk to her during the drive.


5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? If I did not consider friends and family, but just my personal preference, Kauai. But it is too remote to live there unless my whole family could come too. So, Sarasota, Florida. Close enough to see everyone regularly and lovely!

6. What did you have for breakfast? Two slives of home made whole wheat bread.

7. What is your favorite cuisine? Hmm, its a toss up between Thai and Indian.

8. What foods do you dislike? Liver.

9. Favorite Place to Eat? My own dining room. Preferably with friends or family.

10. Favorite dressing? Home made basil Vinaigrette - with the basil grown in my garden and really good balsamic vinegar --- its the best! If I am eating out, Ranch dressing.

11.What kind of vehicle do you drive? 2002 Honda Civic GX. It is powered by compressed natural gas. 1/10th the pollution of a hybrid. Uses existing technology and does not have the environmental impact from the batteries that the hybrids do. It now has 142K miles on it. I am hoping to drive it to 400K.

12. What are your favorite clothes? Blue jeans and a loose oxford shirt.

13, Where would you visit if you had the chance? Australia - I would love to dive the Great Barrier reef.

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? My cup is overflowing!!!

15. Where would you want to retire? Orlando - i want to be the fairy godmother at Disney World.

16. Favorite time of day? The gloaming. That time between day and night. I especially loved it when we lived in Chicago and you could no longer tell where the water ended and the sky began.

17. Where were you born? Dallas, Texas. And I live less than 30 miles from there now. But I have lived in lots of places.

18. What is your favorite sport to watch? Anything that I find interesting at the moment. My husband is a big Steelers fan, so I enjoy watching the Steelers. I like baseball in person, but not on TV. I like football better on TB than in person. I always enjoy watching basketball, ice skating, skiing, speed skating. If I had a TV that worked, I would watch the Winter Olympics for sure.


19. How many siblings? 1 sister, 1 brother. I am the oldest.


20. Favorite pastime/hobby? Playing board games or cards, needlework (especially Hardanger). gardening.


21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this? No one in particular--just became active on Spark!

22. Bird watcher? I think that I would enjoy it now that I can see them.

23. Are you a morning person or a night person? Night

24. Do you have any pets? Yes, 1 very old dog, Spaky she will turn 16 on Valentine's Day. She is a lab and chow mix - looks like a Lab, has a Chow personality.

25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share? My husband returns from 2 weeks in China on Friday. I can't wait for him to get home.

26. What did you want to be when you were little? An architect.

27. What is your best childhood memory? Playing houseboat in the garage on an old mattress with my sister.

28. Are you a cat or dog person? Not really either. I used to be afraid of dogs, and I am still anxious around strange dogs. I love my dog and my fur nieces (2 cocker spaniels). I had a fur niece cat that I liked also. And I had a Siamese cat when I was a teenager that I was fond of. But I am not really an animal person, I am much more of a people person.

29. Are you married? Yes, 6 years in April.

30. Always wear your seat belt? Always. I do not pull out of the driveway without being buckled up.

31. Been in a car accident? Yes, several. I rearended several people about once a year for three years in a row. After having been accident free for 30 years.

32. Any pet peeves? Whining. It drives me crazy.


33. Favorite Pizza Toppings? Super deluxe.

34. Favorite Flower? Peonies

35. Favorite ice cream? Rocky road

36. Favorite fast food restaurant? Where I eat the most would be Taco Cabana. They have wonderful rotisserie chicken. But my favorite food would be at Chicken Express where you can get Dublin Dr. Pepper. Its Dr. Pepper that is still made with cane sugar instead of with high fructose corn syrup.

37. How many times did you fail your driver's test? I made a 96. I don't even know anyone that failed their driving test.

38. From whom did you get your last email? Sparkpeople!

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Pottery Barn - except I don't have any cards with that high of a limit.

40. Do anything spontaneous lately? I ran!

41. Like your job? Love it!

42. Broccoli? Yep - one of my favorite vegetables.


43. What was your favorite vacation? Roatan. Stayed at the CocoView Resort and scuba, scuba, scuba, scuba!


44. Last person you went out to dinner with? My Sister!

45. What are you listening to right now? My dog scratching.

46. What is your favorite color? Aqua - just about the color of the background to my Sparkpage.

47. How many tattoos do you have? NONE

48. How many people will fill this out? 17749

49. What time did you finish this quiz? 9:08 p.m.

50. Coffee Drinker? Occasionally. Usually when I am with my sister. Rarely by myself.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GLYPNIRSGIRL 2/9/2010 9:38AM

    Peonies are difficult to grow in Texas. They require at least two weeks below freezing, so they are more of a northern flower. They are also heavy feeders so they require lots of blood meal and/or chicken poo or seaweed extract to get really good blooms. It also helps to use beneficial nematodes on them as they are very prone to thrips - and the nematodes do a great job on the thrips.

Here in Texas, to get them to bloom, you have to mulch them with ice. Before I was on SparkPeople, I mulched them with ice by taking my fast food cold drink ice and pouring it on the bush as soon as I got out of the car for January and February. Sometimes supplemented with a tray or two of ice from the house. It made a big difference.

Because they are perennials, the blooming season is not long. Usually just a week or two - but what a week or two!

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RAVENLOCKES 2/9/2010 9:25AM

    Kewl, getting to know you! Peonies are very pretty, do they have a long blooming season? Never tried to grow them but might need to check them out...

Have a wonderful day! Hoping the time flies and you and your beloved are reunited soon!!

Spark hugs,
Anna

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WEALHTHEOW 2/8/2010 11:08PM

    Wow! Cool! Peonies - awesome! I have one that came with my house, and it bloomed one single bloom last year. It was huge, glowing purple, and so lovely. Thanks for sharing all these fun tidbits!!

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Taking it easy...

Sunday, February 07, 2010

The weekend is always a little scary for me. I lose the structure of workm and with no children at home any longer, I have little structure at home.

This weekend, I decided to set goals for the weekend to give myself some structure. I decided I would (1) plan mealsl (2) grocery shop: and (3) cook healthy meals to eat at home all weekend.

I did plan the meals. But when I came home and looked in my refrigerator, I realized that I had plenty of healthy food to eat, I just needed to figure out what to do with what I already had. I had lots of fresh vegetables that were not going to stay fresh much longer, so I made a tasty vegetable soup. I took one of the recipes that I had planned on making and modified it to use in the pinto beans I had made earlier in the week that were too bland. The modification made them delicious (just adding onions, garlic, poblano pepper and a searrano pepper with cumin and chile powder- all of which I had on hand). I made vegetable soup with the vegetables and I am now baking home made 100% whole wheat bread from wheat berries I ground in the Vitamix. The bread is in the oven now!

I have done really well on the eating part of my goal for the weekend. I have managed to do it without shopping (which I do not like).

I am happy!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RAVENLOCKES 2/8/2010 8:48AM

    WOW, baking homemade bread!!! You are motivated spark sister! How was it? The soup you made had me thinking that this week, I will make a bean soup as well--beans are a great source of protein which equals energyyyyyyyyyyyyy!! YEAH for more energy! Have a beautiful and inspiring week!

Spark hug and God blesss,
Anna

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SOFEDUPP 2/8/2010 7:37AM

    Wow! What a productive weekend!

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JAUDON 2/7/2010 9:43PM

    Sounds like a fabulous dinner, and a great weekend! Planning makes all the difference. Keep it up!

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SWEET_DREAMS 2/7/2010 8:45PM

    emoticon Sounds like you had a more successful weekend that you were trying to have.

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The smallest things can make me happy!

Friday, February 05, 2010

It has been a tough few days for me. Ian is gone. The weather has been cold and rainy. I am broke. We have agreed to not spend any money. I am eating leftovers. And still, I am happy.

All day long I get to help people. All day long, I get to make others' lives better,. All day long, I get to be productive. Its a great feeling to be productive, helpful, needed and appreciated. Not many people get to give as much as I get to give.

I have several employees. Today, one of my employees came in to me and asked what he could help me with. He had looked at my schedule for tomorrow and realized that I probably would not be able to get any of my "work" done. And he offered to help ME. It was wonderful to have someone offer to help ME. Usually everyone is just thinking of what I can do to help them.

I was thrilled. I still am.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JAUDON 2/5/2010 2:36PM

    The little things really are what matter most! Glad your mood is getting better! :)

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SOFEDUPP 2/5/2010 7:44AM

    It sounds like you hired the right kind of people to work with you also. The kind of people who know, with out asking, when someone needs help.

See, you have a lot of support and you didn't even realize it. You have support at work and support on Spark. There are people to help. Maybe not immediately, but they can help.

Keep sparking and doing what you are doing.

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PUDLECRAZY 2/5/2010 6:23AM

    Yes, being able to love and give to others as well as accept love and generosity is the path to happiness.

Big love going your way,
Chris

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NUOVAELLE 2/5/2010 6:07AM

    You have every reason to be happy. Giving is the best way to fill your heart with happiness. Give and you shall receive. God bless you.

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Putting temptation behind me ...

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Thank you all for your concern. I was tempted, but did not take ANY steps to move forward with the temptation.

I kept my son and daughter in law with me all day long. I took my dog for a walk, went to Dallas to my son's favorite place for breakfast (where I was super good - an egg white omelet with vegetables, no cheese and whole wheat toast). I planned my meals for the next week so that I can stop at the grocery store on the way home from work tomorrow evening. I started a pot of beans so that I will have something for dinner even if I don't have the energy for the grocery shopping.

My daughter in law, who is in her second semester of cosmetology school cut my hair for me. I have gone to the same hairdresser for years and he just will not cut it to shoulder length - it is always at least two inches past my shoulders and it just cannot hold a style at that length. But I feel like I look terrible with short hair (and Ian dislikes it) so I don't like to change stylists either. DIL got it PERFECT - and then she even styled it for me.

I am so grateful to have such a wonderful family and supportive friends.

It was amazing how cathartic it was to just realize that this (the temptation of cheating) was what was going on with my eating. It took me a while to realize it. But once I was able to put a name to it - it was so much easier to get back on track with my eating also.

I truly love my husband and I have a very happy marriage. I WON'T cheat on him - I would rather weigh 500 pounds - I just want to be faithful and a healthy weight.

Thank you for your help and support.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RAVENLOCKES 2/8/2010 8:44AM

    Sounds like you are totally on track!! I prayed for you to have Holy Spirit wisdom along with an open heart to receive His love and also to know you could overcome this temptation. I know you will succeed in all of your goals, believe in yourself and enjoy the support of family and friends--

God bless,
Anna emoticon

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-JENSSPARK- 2/4/2010 10:18AM

    I'm so happy to read this. I knew you'd be successful! Now you're acknowledging the positives in your marriage and you're realizing what was causing you to overeat and you've fixed your problem! Way to go!!!

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BELLA44 2/1/2010 2:05PM

    Kudos to you! You can do it!! It sounds like you are making some positive and awesome choices not only for your marriage, but most importantly, FOR YOURSELF!!! emoticon Bella

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JAUDON 2/1/2010 11:30AM

    Glad you got through it, and came out the other side more aware of your emotions and temptations!!!

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JENELOPE 2/1/2010 10:00AM

    I'm glad you're feeling better. It must feel awful to go through that kind of temptation. Just remember that getting healthy is something you're doing for you, and has nothing to do with any man. I suspect that you were overeating as a way to punish yourself. I think it's normal to wonder and for your mind to wander, so don't punish yourself. Just do what you've done and assess, figure out how to deal with it, and move on. And if you're not satisfied, at the risk of being forward, take matters into your own hands. So to speak!

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I am tempted ... to cheat on my husband

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Ian is out of town. He is in Chine for two weeks and I am doing the worst that I have done on my diet in two years! And I finally figured out what was going on with me (and it is not a very nice reflection on me). I am truly tempted to cheat on him.

When he and I met, I was at 240, and though that is a lot. It was less than I had weighed in 10 years. My office had been destroyed by a tornado that had hit downtown Fort Worth and six weeks later, my mother passed away. I made a total change in my life. In part, it was in penance to my mother who had been such a strong advocate for me on one hand and was so terribly critical of my appearance on the other. Anyway, as soon as my mother died, I started losing weight. And then I went on a new exercise plan: selling furniture. Which requires lots of walking if you work in a big showroom like I did. But I would just walk in large circles for hours at a time while the store was slow. Some days I would walk for two or three hours.

Any way, I started dating a really fun guy, Ted. I was crazy about him, but my family could not stand him. He was FABULOUS in bed. I told him the first time that we had sex I did not understand why he did not have a line out his front door. It was sex on a whole new level from anything that I had ever experience. He told me that the problem was that I did not have much experience. My first husband was the first man that I ever had sex with and after my divorce, I only had sex with two men before him. So he was the fourth man that I ever had sex with and I was 46 years old. He encouraged me to date other people. And I went out with Ian because Ted urged me to. Then, I dated both guys for several months, but I only had sex with Ted. Then Ted encouraged me to have sex with Ian because I had so little experience (yep, he is a pervert). So I had sex with Ian. It was okay. Nothing stellar. And it continues to be okay.

And I know that I chose the best person to marry. BUT, I know what I am missing. I know I made the best choice. My husband is more dependable. He is less stubborn (and Ian is plenty stubborn). Ian does not drive me crazy because of the MADDENING choices that he makes (Ian makes great decisions). Ian gets a long with my family. My son likes him. He is kind, considerate. He had a great job. He just is not as much fun as Ted.

So, I am so tempted to call Ted and say, "WF?" And to keep me from it, I am eating too much. Because I know I won't do it if I don't feel confident in my body. So I am sabotaging my efforts to stay faithful to my husband. And although that is a noble reason for cheating on myself. I think that I should be able to remain faithful to myself and my husband.

And with that insight, maybe i can accomplish both!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JEMPOWER 2/6/2010 9:58PM

    It sounds like you've got a good partner and you made the right choice when you chose Ian. Maybe sex isn't the answer. But, having a loving life together is the answer. Someone who loves you is much better than someone who is a good sexual performer. I hope you understand that food is just as much of a temptation as sexual proclivity. I think it was strong of you to share your temptation with us and not "the other man." Good for you.

Jem emoticon

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-JENSSPARK- 2/4/2010 10:14AM

    I haven't had much time to be on here reading blogs and following up with people, so I'm trying to catch up now. I will just speak from personal experience, being the one cheated on. Please, please, please leave your relationship before you do anything at all. I know you aren't going to cheat, and you aren't going to leave your marriage, but that's my advice. Let Ian make the choices he needs to make for himself if you find you are truly serious about this. Don't take that from him. The choices that you make will do nothing but follow you around forever. It's been 2 years since I've been through it, and I can honestly say that I don't go through a single DAY without it in my life in some way.

You are awesome for being so honest about your feelings. I'm sure as I read the blogs that follow this that you've done the "right" thing. Treat yourself well, treat your family well and do what's best for you in the long run. I know you can do it!

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JAUDON 1/31/2010 8:49PM

    First, I am really impressed with your ability to realize this and admit it! Thats a great step toward understanding the mental side of weight issues. But, I agree with previous posters - this is not something you want to throw away. If you are happy in your relationship, it is worth working for. If not, then deal with it before moving on. It might not be what you want right now, but it will be so much healthier for you and all involved later on! Its like that piece of gooey, warm, chocolate cake with chocolate syrup - it looks sooo good, and would taste wondeful for a few minutes. But, when its gone, all you have is a bigger butt, and no real satisfaction! Hugs!

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ANITARO1 1/31/2010 7:12PM

    I agree that it takes courage to admit the things that you are....even to yourself. But, don't cheat. Get out of the relationship first. You will like yourself so much better that way. Good luck!

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HILL_TOP 1/31/2010 2:30PM

    You are on the verge of self destruction! Just don't do it. When your hubby gets back, be open with him and suggest that you'd like to spice things up, or just take control and spice things up. Maybe you could take your married life to a whole new level. But, even if he's just not inclined that way, don't cheat. Be honorable to yourself and to him and get divorced first. Looking at it in such black and white terms, hopefully you'll know what you should do. My advice is stay strong, buy some bedroom toys (there are some self indulgent ones), do anything - but don't self destruct, because if you go down the infidelity path, you probably will.

Have you really examined whether or not there are some others issues that are making you tempted? If you really examine and deal with those issues, the right choice should make its self apparent to you.

One thing I learned after a divorce is that it wasn't my husband that was completely to blame for my unhappiness. I was completely surprised that he only accounted for about 50% of it. The other 50% had always been in my control and I just had not empowered myself to be happy in any relationship. Empower yourself in healthy way, small steps and goals a day at a time.




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HILL_TOP 1/31/2010 2:30PM

    You are on the verge of self destruction! Just don't do it. When your hubby gets back, be open with him and suggest that you'd like to spice things up, or just take control and spice things up. Maybe you could take your married life to a whole new level. But, even if he's just not inclined that way, don't cheat. Be honorable to yourself and to him and get divorced first. Looking at it in such black and white terms, hopefully you'll know what you should do. My advice is stay strong, buy some bedroom toys (there are some self indulgent ones), do anything - but don't self destruct, because if you go down the infidelity path, you probably will.

Have you really examined whether or not there are some others issues that are making you tempted? If you really examine and deal with those issues, the right choice should make its self apparent to you.

One thing I learned after a divorce is that it wasn't my husband that was completely to blame for my unhappiness. I was completely surprised that he only accounted for about 50% of it. The other 50% had always been in my control and I just had not empowered myself to be happy in any relationship. Empower yourself in healthy way, small steps and goals a day at a time.




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HILL_TOP 1/31/2010 1:32PM

    You are on the verge of self destruction! Just don't do it. When your hubby gets back, be open with him and suggest that you'd like to spice things up, or just take control and spice things up. Maybe you could take your married life to a whole new level. But, even if he's just not inclined that way, don't cheat. Be honorable to yourself and to him and get divorced first. Looking at it in such black and white terms, hopefully you'll know what you should do. My advice is stay strong, buy some bedroom toys (there are some self indulgent ones), do anything - but don't self destruct, because if you go down the infidelity path, you probably will.

Have you really examined whether or not there are some others issues that are making you tempted? If you really examine and deal with those issues, the right choice should make its self apparent to you.

One thing I learned after a divorce is that it wasn't my husband that was completely to blame for my unhappiness. I was completely surprised that he only accounted for about 50% of it. The other 50% had always been in my control and I just had not empowered myself to be happy in any relationship. Empower yourself in healthy way, small steps and goals a day at a time.




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SOFEDUPP 1/31/2010 11:48AM

    Try to find something else to do; take a walk, read a book, go out with friends, anything. Have you considered taking up a hobby like knitting?

Have you thought about this; what is going to happen if you do cheat? You are probably going to feel guilty, eat poorly because you do and then what? I am not judging, but I just want you to think about all that can happen.

Stay strong!! You can get through this!!

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BELLA44 1/31/2010 11:03AM

    Don't do it! I can relate to your husband being out of the county as my husband used to travel extensively to Asia and Europe for several years and, in fact, missed a huge portion of my children's lives. There is NO doubt about it, it basically sucks to but it bluntly! I can certainly empathize with how much you miss him, but use that time to stay connected to him...reach out--send emails, letters, cards, etc. Also...it sounds like you have been dealing with some major life changing stressors with the death of your mother and the hurricane that you need to give yourself time to emotionally heal and deal with all that and an affair, even if it's just once, will just add further stress and emotional overload. Exciting as an affair can seem and no matter hour great the physical relationship may be, I agree with PEACHES 3954 that it's another avoidance technique just like food. You've ticked off a list of really great things about Ian that, trust me, those are not qualities that are easy to find or replace in a partner. Hold on to those! But, none of us are in your marriage and do not know all the details, but if it's been working, don't throw it away over this temptation. Please know that I am not judging you at all, just seriously empathizing with you and here for you, as we all are! Email me anytime if you need to talk! ~Bella

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PEACHES_3954 1/31/2010 10:24AM

    First off, I think it is great that you can openly admit such feelings. I know I personally would deny it to all ends. I would just suggest that you talk to you husband while he is away. Remind yourself in a good and healthy way why you love him. Instead of using food as an avoidance try shopping, or going for walks, listening to music, taking a long bubble bath, something that is good for YOU! You need to make you happy first. I hope that helps a little. Good luck emoticon

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