Friday, September 13, 2013
Every day I read one of your success stories or blogs, or I watch a video. Always I am amazed at the journey you have all taken. You've met up with challenges and conquered them, you've had successes, you've had to back track. As much as your successes inspire me, I pay particular attention to the hurdles you've overcome.
All of us will have mishaps: we'll relapse into old(bad) habits and regain some of our weight. Before I joined Spark People I used to be really hard on myself for that, I mean crazy hard. It's not that I'm a perfectionist or think that everything should come easy to me. Trust me, I have almost no natural talent at anything - I have to work!!!!!!! It's just that I used to figure that once I have the knowledge and established the behaviours I ought to be done. I mean either you know it or you don't! Spark People's success stories and blogs have normalized that behaviour for me. I accept that any learned behaviour can be unlearned: it's a cycle of ongoing checks and balances. Now I'm okay with that but it used to not sit well.
Of course i don't throw in the towel bc it's "all part of the process". Not at all. You have all taught me perserverence and tenacity. I tell my kids that courage isn't not being afraid, courage is being afraid but overcoming that fear. You can't be brave without fear. Now I see that perserverence and tenacity are the same. You can't learn perserverence or tenacity without setbacks. Both are sticking to it in the face of adversity, learning to overcome those hurdles. Look, hurdles are hurdles and I'll never say thank god I ate that pizza bc now I have perserverance. However, I now accept that I will occasionally blunder and that I have the perserverance and tenacity to get back to my program. The SP process teaches inner strength and that isn't about never messing up: it's about reigning things in when you do stray and staying the course for the long haul.
Soooo... congratulations to all of you have shared your success stories and your struggles with all of us. Thank you for being the light that guides me in the journey to reach my goals. Your journey has become part of my journey.
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
First, none of you will know this, but I recently had surgery for pheochromacytoma. Today I learned that it was a benign tumor! There was only a feint chance it would be malignant, but anyone whose stared down that barrel will tell you it's real enough. There is a chance of recurrence but I will be monitored ongoing to ensure we catch it.
Second great news, not as eye-catching but made my heart soar. I had an epiphany yesterday after blowing it at Taco Bell. My resolve reduced by sleep deprivation and a much needed shower, I downed two meximelts as "snacks". After looking at the sodium content and other nutritional information after "coming to", i almost cried. I spent part of the day doubting myself. Did I have what it takes to stick with this plan? Am I really just going to quit like that? How could I be such a loser?
Yeah, it was pretty awful.
Then I had the epiphany: this was emotional eating.... hey! a learning opportunity!!!!! Sooooooo........ I planned a healthy supper and reigned things in before it went crazy. Sure I was over my calories, fat, and salt and under on a lot of healthier nutrients but I was back in control and have been today as well. I also got in a half hour walk and was in bed before 10:30 (woke up at 7). So, AHHHHH!!!!! (insert "in your face" gesture) take that Taco Bell!!!!!!!
I've said it before and I'll say it again: the tools here on SP are wonderful, use them to your full advantage!
Thursday, August 15, 2013
So after two weeks of nuttin' I was finally making progress on the scales - I know, NOT the only indication but for me the most tangible. Today is my anniversary with my husband - 15 years of wedded bliss (most of the time). We went out for lunch and now I'm obsessing b/c I am already way over my calories and sodium and fat....... Such a change from a month ago, but seriously hoping I don't "fall off the wagon". Think I need to balance my thinking?
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
I love reading the success stories of others, if you've posted your story THANK YOU!!!! Your stories put it all in perspective: it isn't about perfection, no one did it in a month, and you're all happier now. Having lost 15 lbs, I still have over 100 to go. So while I'm pleased with my progress thus far I need motivation to get through the next 100+.
What do I have to lose? Plenty!!!!! First, undaunting self conciousness. I am constantly aware of my size, my profile, and how I look in clothes and certain positions. Yeah, it would be nice to lose that. Don't get me wrong, I do love myself but am not happy with how I look.
What else? Aches and pains. My knees hurt sometimes. Just a dull achy/burning kind of pain at night if I've been standing. The extra weight puts a lot of strain on my joints. Buh-bye!
Clothes limitations would be wonderful to lose. There are so many stores that sell decent clothes to girls over size 12 but I'd like my choice of the mall. I used to love clothes shopping now I take a deep breath and approach it like a military mission. I'd like to buy what I want, not what fits or what doesn't make me look like a human watermelon. I want to have more energy - carrying around an extra person in body weight is exhausting.
This may sound like negative self talk but these are the things that hold me back. These things get under my skin. So yeah, losing them is not a panacea but it will increase my joy in life.
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