Sunday, July 12, 2009
Not real sure where to begin, mostly just rambling from my mind I guess...lol.
I have done very well in my weight loss journey until recently. I really started being serious about this in Oct. 08' and have stayed pretty faithful with only small wavering here and there, then right back on track with the help of my Spark family (thank you).
Now it seems as though I am spiraling out of control with no end in sight. In May something happened in my home that has me very upset and unsure of the future of my family. In response to the incident I had to return to work "full time". I am a truck driver. I relocate grain and fertilize, so when the farmers are busy, so am I. In this work, it's always fast pace, on the go....so that is the way that I have been eating (fast and on the go), not good choices, mostly fast and fried...and the scale is showing! I don't want to go back to that person that I was. I want the healthy body and I really want my goal weight, although it seems to be getting further and further away. I don't want to give up, I have worked way too hard to get where I am at this point. At one point I was only 7 pounds away from goal, now come weigh in tomorrow it will be about 15 or 20 pounds from goal. That makes me really want to just cry and scream at myself!
To anyone who reads this from the 8 Week Battle, I am so sorry that I wasn't there as I should have been. I feel as though I let you all down and I am sorry for that. You deserve so much more than I am capable of giving right now. I feel as though I am in a pool of rising water. I had been treading okay but now I am finding it very hard to keep my head above water, I am drowning!
Hope this explains my status of the day ( needing a successful plan). I so desperately need to learn to balance life, work, home, exercise, eating. Hoping to be able to report a great turnaround very soon.
much love, Wendy