Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Let me start by saying that for 25 days out of 30, I'm a very positive, happy person. Let's not talk about the other 5.
I started this with the statement about being happy because I think it really influences my weight loss. By that, I mean it works against my weight loss. I'm pretty thankful and just tickled by the life I've been given and I celebrate that happiness. With food. And that's a problem.
Eating is so completely tied to happiness (and wealth but that's another post for another day) in my mind that the thought of not going out to eat or passing up a special occasion makes me feel sad. Almost physically sad.
I've lost weight before, but I really develop an on diet/off diet mentality. I cannot seem to stick to a diet (or eating plan, whatever). I picked up a copy of Intuitive Eating and I get it. I'm just afraid that my food issues are a little more severe than the average person who needs to lose 25 lb and the ideas of Intuitive Eating might not get me there. I'm also in mental health field, and there's a lot of Mindfulness approaches to eating. I get that too. But really, I think that eating 1 raisin for 1 minute and taking an hour to eat each meal and totally, totally focusing on each bite is a little beyond what I have capacity for right now.
So what can I do? Right now? I can focus on eliminating mindless eating. I may not be able to give each and every bite my full attention, but I can pay attention to the fact that I'm eating. Sit down. Close my office door and turn off my computer during lunch.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
I haven't blogged in well over a year.
When I read that last entry, I think "Really? I felt that?" Because the blog was all about how I was on SB diet and felt great. Well, as things sometimes work, I totally stopped again.
But in the interim year, I did accomplish a lot of things. I got a great job that I truly loved, then quit that job so I could move cross country for my family. Got another job that I'm still not sure if I love or not (but I do like it, just don't know how much). Lost 25lb and gained back 10 during the move process.
It is interesting the way that things work. Sunday night I decided I couldn't continue to try to do this on my own - it isn't working for me. So I fired up the computer and logged back into SP. And made a vow to really work the program this time.
Lo and behold, when I got to work the next day, there was a Biggest Loser Challenge sign up page on my unit (I work in a hospital). I wrote my name down quicker than you can say "30-day Shred."
I will win this challenge. I always, always work better with external goals. Plus, I'm new at work and they don't have any idea how crazy competitive I can get. Maybe an external challenge like this is what I needed all along.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Somehow, about 6 months ago, I stopped. Stopped watching what I eat and stopped exercising. I didn't have the time, energy or motivation. It was a very stressful time, but now, thank goodness, it's over.
About 3 weeks ago I stepped on the scale and was horrified to discover that I had gained 10 pounds. I'm a small person who is already significantly overweight, so I really, really didn't need 10 more.
It proved to be just the right motivation. I started South Beach the next day, and I've lost those 10 pounds. But more importantly, I feel great. I have more energy than ever. I feel 10 years younger!
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Gone! is my whining and exhaustion from yesterday.
Gone! are my fears of not being as competent as I think I am.
Gone! are two, count 'em TWO, pounds!
How did I accomplish such an about face in just 12 hours?
8 solid hours of sleep.
Monday, March 29, 2010
I'm a grad student and for the last week, I've been on Spring Break. It was so wonderful. I had to quit my job earlier this year and this week was the first time in YEARS when I didn't have to do...anything. No work, no school. Just Zumba classes, novels, TV and spending time with my sweet family.
However, today all of that came to a screeching halt. I couldn't sleep last night, due to the twin forces of a huge, noisy rainstorm and a good, old-fashioned case of nerves. I got, maybe, 3 good hours of sleep. Not the way to start a new quarter.
My alarm went off at 5:30am and I dragged my exhausted self into the bathroom. One look in the mirror had me reaching for hemorrhoid cream to see if it would really get rid of the ENORMOUS bags under my eyes.
Not so much.
I managed to slowly get it together and get to my clinical placement at a local high school, on time and with a Starbucks stop, even. And I was really pleasantly surprised. I was busy as all get out, all day long. That's unusual for a clinical rotation, especially on the first day. But because it's a high school, and they've been really hit hard by the economy, the staff were overjoyed to have me there, which is also somewhat unusual for a clinical placement.
But now...I'm exhausted. I actually willingly skipped my Zumba class tonight. That is the first time I've missed class on purpose.
I feel kinda crappy about it.
With luck, I'll get my mojo back by the end of the week. I need to get back to my healthy Zumba-centric routine.
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