Thursday, July 28, 2011
I was feeling frisky this morning so I decided to try on my size 10 jeans... so I pulled them out of my closet and tried to put them on. They wouldn't even go past my thighs... I was mightily confused... until I realized I'd grabbed the wrong pair. They were 10s but they weren't *my* 10s, my favorite pair of Long and Lean Gap jeans with the triangle pocket flaps.
I have a big box full of now too-small clothes and I was rummaging through it the other day trying to find something and apparently *my* jeans got buried and a ridiculous pair of Old Navy size 10 "sweetheart" jeans. I need to take those suckers to the Goodwill. They'll never fit. Only Gap jeans fit me right- no other brand compares.
Soon, size 10 Long and Lean Gap jeans. Soon you will be on my butt.
Monday, July 25, 2011
I read a lot of blogs titled "What X Amount of Pounds Lost Looks Like" but I do not have any really good progress pictures (I have them but I do not own a bikini, therefore I'm in a bra and underwear and not sure about the rules on SP about underwear v. bikini. It shouldn't matter but I kind of think it does).
So I figured I'd talk about what it feels like.
1. Feels successful. I have tried to lose some of the weight I put back on after losing 120 pounds for a few years now, and just couldn't seem to get going. I lost 120 pounds in high school so you would think I would know what I am doing, but somewhere along the way I got lost and off-track. I haven't lost weight for years, and the success feels great.
2. Feels easy. I know because I have done it a few times- it's all about getting over that initial hump. Once you start to form healthy habits, it's all coasting. Within a few weeks of eating healthier, my cravings for sweets have all but disappeared (this is monumental, I have a pretty serious sweet tooth) and I kind of wrinkle my nose at unhealthy food. In fact, tonight I am making myself a shrimp pineapple pizza because I just can't stomach the salty frozen lasagna I threw in the oven for a quickie dinner last night.
3. Feels fuller. I am well-known among my family and friends for how much food I can pack away. I can, although I try not to, eat more than my boyfriend does in a single sitting. After a few weeks of reducing portions, I find I am fuller with less food, and can stop more easily when I am full. Usually my tummy gets full but my mouth is yelling for more. My stomach and mouth feel more in sync now.
4. Most noticeably, 15 pounds lost does not feel like 15 pounds lost at all. I said this in a status update, but I feel I need to elaborate. 15 pounds lost, to me, does not feel like weight loss. It feels like a very bad bloat has finally gone away.
Allow me to explain.
From the ages of 18-21, I was a size 8. (I'm 5'10 tall). I loved it. I felt good, I looked good, I was just very happy with that size. Then at ages 21-22, an emotional upheaval caused me to go up to a size 10.
From 22-24, I tried halfheartedly to get back down to an 8, but being a 10 didn't really bother me. I was slightly curvier but my stomach was still (relatively, for me) flat, and I still thought I looked good, and I was working out regularly so I felt fine.
Then, just a few months ago... bam. Went up to a 12. In about two months. In September 2010, I wore a 10. In November 2010, I was struggling to zip 12s. My boobs were spilling out of my bra, and shirt sleeves were cutting into my arms.
I'm still not 100% what caused such rapid weight gain at that particular time, but I know I didn't like it. It was SO sudden... I had no time whatsoever to adjust to being a bigger size. It was like I just woke up one day and was... well... bloated! My stomach was all poofed out and my face was kind of swelled.
So I started trying seriously in March, and REALLY kicked it into high gear in June, and I've lost 15 pounds. When I look in the mirror though, I don't see Smaller Chrissy... it's more like I see Normal Chrissy again.
And that's still a win, to me.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
On Friday, I celebrated the fact that I have lost 15 (okay, okay, 14.8 pounds).
On Saturday, my boyfriend went to the grocery store and bought chocolate chip cookies from the bakery.
Some of you may know... cookies are my downfall. I cannot resist a cookie. I love cookies more than any other sweet or junk food in the whole world. Especially... ESPECIALLY soft, chocolatey-chunky bakery cookies.
I saw them sitting on the counter and was like, (jokingly, of course) "Why, Matt? Why would you do this to me?"
I went out with my best friend last night, and I didn't see the cookies when I got home, and sort of forgot about them until this afternoon when I realized I hadn't seen them again. I said to Matt, "What happened to the cookies?"
He was quiet for a long time, then sort of hemmed and hawed a bit... I was horrified. "Matt! Did you eat ALL of them?!"
He said, "No, no... I, um... I hid them from you... I'm sorry... I just thought, you know, I know you have trouble resisting cookies and you've been trying so hard to lose weight... so I thought if I hid them, it would make it better... but if you want one, I'll go get you one... it's not like you can't have one or anything..." and he sort of went on like that for a bit.
How cute is he?!?!?!
I laughed and told him, no, I don't want one, and thank you for hiding them.
He's pretty awesome.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
I probably ate a little too much last night, but I don't care.
We went out for Mexican before the movie. I got a combination dinner. A burrito, a taco, rice and beans. I figured I'd eat half. Problem was, I hadn't eaten much of anything all day. I just wasn't hungry. Which is highly unusual for me, I am pretty much always ready to eat, but I only had a bagel thin for breakfast and a few sushi rolls for lunch. And I very rarely snack. Even sitting down at the table, I wasn't hungry. But when they set the plate down, I was suddenly famished and mowed it down.
Then we went to Cold Stone. I haven't been there in months. I briefly considered staying on track as I scanned the menu.
110 calorie fruit smoothie?
Peanut Butter Cup Perfection?
*shrug* I went for it. I have been so awesome these last few weeks, more awesome than I thought possible, actually. So I had a cup of chocolate ice cream with peanut butter blobs, peanut butter cups and fudge and it was AWESOME.
And bonus- when we woke up this morning, my boyfriend was sort of rubbing me all over like he does sometimes, and he said, "I think your butt is smaller." Not necessarily something I'm looking to shrink TOO much, now, but it was very nice to hear
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