Wednesday, February 06, 2008
MY FIRST SHOT AT CREATING A BIOG SO PLEASE BARE WITH ME!AT WORK I AM FINDING IT VERY HARD TO DEAL WITH SOME CO-WORKERS.THE ONE IN PARTICULAR IS GETTING VERY HARD TO DEAL WITH. FIRST OF ALL EVERYONE AT WORK KNOWS OF MY GOALS. I HAVE TOLD EVERYONE.EVERYONE IS MOSTLY SUPPORTIVE. THIS ONE GIRL WITCH I MIGHT ADD HAS NO PROBLEM WITH WEIGHT AT ALL SHE IS VERY SKINNY.I REALLY DO LIKE HER. BUT THIS WEEK SHE IS NOT ON A GOOD LIST WITH ME. FROM DAY ONE SHE HAS BEEN PUTTING FOOD IN MY FACE AND SAYING YUM, YUM.YESTERDAY I EXPLODED AT HER. IT WAS FAT TUESDAY AND PEOPLE BROUGHT THINGS IN.I HAVE LEFT THINGS ALONE SINCE SEPTEMBER AT WORK. YESTERDAY SHE MADE AND HELD IN FRONT OF ME A BAG OF CHOCOLATE COVERED POPCORN. SAYING AND WAVING IT IN MY FACE YUM, YUM COME ON SMELL THAT YUM. I FREAKED OUT AND YELLED AT HER. SAID YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I HAVE BEEN THU TO GET TO WHERE I AM RIGHT NOW. IT IS SO HARD YOU ARE SO MEAN. AND A COUPLE OF MORE CHOICE WORDS WE WON'T REPEAT EVERYONE ELSE WAS TRYING TO CALM ME DOWN. BY TELLING ME HOW GOOD I AM DOING AND HOW GOOD I LOOK. WHICH BEFORE YESTERDAY THIS VERY GIRL ALSO WAS TELLING ME.AND SHE HAS DONE THIS BEFORE TO ME,BUT I HAVE STAYED THE SAME WEIGHT FOR TWO WEEKS NOW AND IT IS REALLY KILLING ME NOW I AM SO ON EDGE I CAN'T STAND IT. AT TIME I JUST WANT TO GIVE UP ON THIS, THEN I THINK I AM OVER 1/2 WAY TO MY GOAL. AND I WOULD ONLY BE HURTING MYSELF.I HAVE BEEN CHANGING MY EXERCISING FOOD INTAKE ETC. NOTHING WORKING AT THIS POINT. AND STRESS AT WORK WITH A MERGER DOESN'T HELP AT ALL. I AM TRYING TO TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND MOVE FORWARD AND WITH THE HELP OF MY SPARK FRIENDS AND GOD I WILL MAKE MY GOAL SOON!I REALLY DOES FELL BETTER TO TALK ABOUT IT. THANK YOU VERY MUCH SPARK FRIENDS FOR BEING THERE FOR ME OR I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO.I AM SITTING HERE CRYING WHILE TYPING THIS TO ALL OF YOU. I FEEL SO GUILTY AND MAD AT MYSELF ALL AT ONCE. I KNOW I HAVE TO GET OVER THIS PICK MY CHIN UP ANDGO ON. OR I WILL BE EATING EVERYTHING IN SIGHT AND IN MY HEART THAT IS NOT WHAT I WANT TO DO. SO PLEASE HELP MY FRIENDS!IT TRULLY DOES FEEL GOOD TO CALL ALL OF YOU MY FRIENDS. CHAR