GHOSTFLAMES   329,157
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TEARS!

Friday, November 07, 2008

I SIT HERE IN TEARS JUST LETTING IT OUT HERE WITH MY SPARK FAMILY!TONIGHT JANICE HAD A MELT DOWN!I WAS GETTING HER OFF THE COMODE AND SHE SAIDWHAT ARE YOU DOING I SAID TRYIN TO HOLD YOUR SKIRT UP AND PULL YOUR PANTS UP AND I HAVE TO GET YOU A SKIRT SHE SAID NO I SAID YES YOU CAN'T SIT IN WET!I TOLD YOU BEFORE I CAN CHANGE YOU AT HOME BEFORE YOU COME DOWN IT WILL ONLY TAKE ME A MINUTE!SHE STARTED TO YELL YOU WON'T LET ME DO ANYTHING I SAID YES I DO YOU DO WHATEVER YOU WANTS I NEVER STOP YOU.YOU ARE AT MY HOUSE AND I AM SUPPOSE TO HELP YOU AND KEEP YOU TRY AND CHANGE YOU I DON'T MIND AT ALL.I THEN HAD ROY AND DIL TALK TO HER AND SHE KEPT SAYING THE SAME THING SHE WON'T LET ME DO ANYTHING!IT'S OK WHEN SHE TELLS ME WHAT TO DO!I TOLD HER I WAS QUITING AND NEVER COMING BACK!AND CALLING HER SISTER IN CALIFORNIA.WELL I DID WHILE SHE WAS OUTSIDE.SHE SAID SHE WILL CALL HER SUNDAY AND TALK TO HER I SAID SHE BETTER TELL HER NOT TO YELL AT ME FOR CALLING HER.CAUSE JANICE ALLWAY'S TOLD ME NEVER CALL HER SISTER.SO I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WILL BE IN FOR NOW. I TOLD LINDA HER SISTER I REALLY NEED THE MONEY BUT MY HEALTH IS ON THE LINE HERE!IT'S LIKE SHE DOES IT FOR ATTENTION OR SOMETHING!GIRL'S I FEEL LIKE I WANT TO EAT EVERYTHING IN SIGHT BUT I KNOW I HAVE COME TO FAR TO DO THAT.WILL EVERYONE PLEASE SAY A PRAYER FOR ME I CAN REALLY USE ALL THEM I CAN GET RIGHT NOW.I THINK I WILL TALK TO HUBBY AND IF HE GETS A JOB 3 NIGHTS A WEEK AND I GET ONE 2 NIGHTS A WEEK MAYBE THAT WILL MAKE UP THE DIFFERENCE FOR THIS JOB. I GET 27 HOURS A WEEK THAT'S LIKE A FULL TIME JOB!I WOULD LOVE TO GET AWAY RIGHT NOW!!THEN AT WORK THAT HAS BEEN TERRIBLE WITH ONE GIRL IN PIRTICULAR.IT IS ALL PILING UP ON ME AND IF I DON'T TALK ABOUT IT I WILL EXPLODE.THANKS FOR LISTENING ALL MY DEAR FRIENDS IF I DIDN'T HAVE ALL OF YOU I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO.YES I DO I WOULD BE FAT FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE AND THAT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!I LOVE EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU WITH ALL MY HEART. I MAY NOE TALK TO ALL OF YOU ALOT BUT I DOREAD ALL THE POSTS AND TRY ANY ANSWER EACH ONE THAT ASKS ME SOMETHING AND TRY TO DO THAT SEPERATELY!BUT HUGS TO ALL OF YOU AND IT REALLY HELPS TO TALK ABOUT IT THANKS AGAIN FOR LISTENING!WELL GOT TO GO AND I WILL BE CLEANING MY HEART OUT TO KEEP BUSY TILL I TAKE HER HOME AND I JUST MIGHT HAVE ROY GO WITH ME I KNOW HE WON'T WANT TO BUT HOPE HE WILL.I TRY AND CHAT LATER.

THE PLUSES ARE I HAVE ALL YOU WONDERFUL PEOPLE TO TALK TO AND HELPS JUST GETTING IT OUT!

AND I HAVE LOST 21 POUNDS!!! TAKE CARE ALL,CHAR

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BREAKINGFREE08 11/17/2008 9:36PM

    Char~ You're doing a great job! Take a little time for yourself, maybe lock yourself in the bathroom and take a nice bath. You deserve a break -- and I don't mean food. Remember, nothing tastes as good as being thinner feels!

(hug)(hug)(hug) emoticon

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DANDDPOFF 11/14/2008 8:09AM

    Oh , Char, let it out dear, you and me know how much it helps to talk about it to everyone. It is a shame janice does not realize how much you do for her, and where she would be with out YOU.

Hang in there my dear friend, I am here for you. anytime. or if you want to talk , my number is 740-474-6875 .

You are better then this, you just have to keep telling yourself that and no matter what she says or yells, you are the better person and she really does not know what she is talking about.

keep you chin up friend and we will all be there to help ,
love ya
donna P

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ALFREDIA 11/11/2008 9:00AM

  Char

I know you have been taking care of Janice for a long time. Although I don't comment often I have read a little of your history. You, my friend, have taken on a lot of responsibility and working two jobs has to be draining. We took care of my mother-in-law for 18 months(she was a jewel by the way)but it was difficult at times. I don't know all of Janice's limitations. Mentally is she okay? Is it only physical? If it is mental we have to overlook some things. Physical we need to have some understanding. Most of all stepping back and evaluating where she is coming from. Can you change it? While I know finacially you are feeling trapped (been there myself) but consider all you options. I've heard too many people in our area try to get someone to care for a parent and are unable to find someone to do so. If she is getting too difficult to handle there is the possibility someone else out there has a need you would be able to fulfill without the added aggravation. I know she is like family to you but I also know letting someone drain you of your health both mentally and physically isn't the answer. We eventually had to make that decision with my mother-in-law. It broke my heart that she had to go to a nursing home. Possibly this is exactly what needs to happen to help clear the air so she knows the needless difficulty she is imposing on you. Tears can be very healing.

Incidentally my hat is off to you and your cleaning. What a great way to work off those frustrations ........burn calories..........and have a clean home to boot.

YOU ARE AWESOME! Saying a prayer for you and Janice.

Marie

Comment edited on: 11/11/2008 8:59:26 AM

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DIANEV5 11/10/2008 7:28AM

    I'm real late reading this but I know you lost a pound since then so you didnt eat every thing in sight. I hope Janice is behaving better for you. Some days I know can be harder than others emoticon

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POLLY20 11/8/2008 2:11PM

    CHAR, YOU HAVE DON'T EVERYTHING THAT YOU COULD FOR JANICE.. YOU ARE ALWAYS A GREAT FRIEND TO HER..SHE JUST NEEDS TO HAVE MORE RESPECT FOR YOU & ALL THAT YOU DO.. I DON'T KNOW TO MANY OTHERS THAT WOULD PUT UP WHAT SHE HAS PUT YOU THROUGH.. I'M SURE THTA THIS PROBLEM WILL CALM DOWN & SHE JUST NEEDED TO REALEASE..IT'S JUST TOO BAD THAT SHE TOOK IT OUT ON YOU..YOU HAVE ONLY BEEN DOING WHAT'S GOOD FOR JANICE & SHE SHOULD APPRECIATE ALL THE FRIENDSHIP THAT YOU & ROY HAVE SHOWED HER.. JUST KNOW THAT WE ALL LOVE YOU SO VERY MUCH & TIME WILL TELL WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT..
IT'S ALL IN THE STARS.. LOVE YA ALWAYS POLLY

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DEUCE119 11/8/2008 10:19AM

    LOOKS LIKE I'M A LITTLE LATE HERE. SO SORRY TO HEAR THAT YOU HAVE TO GO THRU THIS ALL THE TIME. THE WORLD CRASHES AROUND US ALL THE TIME, BUT DOESN'T IT SEEM LIKE WHEN IT ISS YOUR WORLD IT WILL NEVER END? KATHY JUST HELPED ME THRU A ROUGH PATCH , THAT SEEMED LIFE ENDING TO ME, BUT I RETROSPECT WAS A GLITCH IN THE ROAD. SHE JUST MADE ME LOOK AT IT DIFFERENTLY. YOURS IS DIFFERENT AND A DILEMA. I HOPE THAT YOU CAN WORK THRU UIT AND FIGURE WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. TAKING CARE OF JANICE ISN'T WORTH YOUR HEALTH , NO MATTER HOW MUCH MONEY YOU MAKE! TAKE CARE AND KNOW THAT THERE IS A WHOLE TEAM OF PEOPLE BEHIND YOU THAT LOVE YOU AND WANT THE BEST FOR YOU. emoticon

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MSALOETTE 11/8/2008 9:02AM

    Oh Char close your eyes, take a deep breath and feel my hugs girlfriend!! Lots and lots of them just as if we were together crying on each other's shoulders. Sometimes life just sucks and as Chelsea would tell me or you, sometimes life's a beach with NO water, deal with it!! Yep raised a smart kid there didn't I? But sometimes stepping back looking at the grand picture sure helps put it all in a different light. You know that some things you can change and some you can't again it's that wisdom to know the difference. I think we find nasty people everywhere, they are just a part of life unfortunately. I am learning more and more to kill them with kindness they don't know how to react to that one, they continually push buttons to see if you react when you don't it leaves them defenseless. Janice needs you and I am sure loves you dearly for all you do for her, I can't imagine being Janice or in her shoes and I am sure she strikes out at the one closest to her because of that and you get the brunt of it all poor dear. But you know doing for her gives you something you can't nor won't get from doing anything else and reminding her from time to time to be nice is about allyou can do when she's striking out.You did exactly what you need to do, come here let it out, vent those feelings and get them off your chest onto the plate and then go on again til it happens again and again do the same thing. Tears a are good form of cleansing and we all need to do it more often more freely I think, I have noticed when you are tired it's alot easier to bring them up as well. And sometimes you just need to walk away to a quiet place for a few minutes and let yourself explode to release some of that pent up anger. Easy for me to say right? I so admire what you do for Janice, I know that you need the job but I know you also do it because you care about her and think of what her life would be like without you! I pray today is a better day for you dear friend. Lots of extra hugs for you Love Cheryl emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MAMASALLYSOCKS 11/7/2008 10:25PM

    ((((cow cuddles))))

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MARLA7 11/7/2008 9:37PM

    ((((CHAR)))) YOU DID THE RIGHT THING CALLING JANICE'S SISTER LINDA ABOUT THIS PROBLEM. I KNOW YOU NEED THE MONEY BADLY, BUT YOU NEED YOUR PEACE OF MIND TOO. LOOK FOR ANOTHER JOB.... I'D LET SOMEONE ELSE HANDLE JANICE'S MESSES AND HER TANTRUMS. SHE'S TAKING ADVANTAGE OF YOU & YOU'RE HURTING RIGHT NOW. I'D TRY MY BEST TO FIND SOME OTHER JOB. ((((((HUGS)))))) FOR YOU. LOVE YOU, MARLA - P.S. CHAR.. YOU'RE JUST TOO KIND HEARTED!!! emoticon

Comment edited on: 11/8/2008 8:37:38 AM

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KSNICKER 11/7/2008 9:30PM

    CHAR - SO SORRY TO HEAR THAT JANICE IS TREATING YOU SO BADLY, SHE HAS NO REASON TO TREAT YOU THAT WAY. YOU ARE GOOD TO HER... I AGREE WITH THE OTHERS, THAT YOU SHOULD GIVE HER A TIME OUT AND IF THINGS DON'T IMPROVE, I WOULD GET WITH ROY AND SEE WHAT YOU CAN DO FINACIALLY... YOU WILL WORK THIS OUT... JUST HANG IN THERE... SO HAPPY THAT YOU VENTED IT ALL OUT... I HOPE YOU ARE FEELING BETTER NOW...
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

THERE THAT SHOULD HOLD YOU FOR A BIT... LOL HANG IN THERE MY FRIEND...

((HUGS))

KA
THY

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DAIRYNURSE 11/7/2008 9:24PM

    Char-I am so sorry that Janice is treating you so badly emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticonSounds like she needs a time out from doing everything until she can treat you with respect and ask for what she wants and respect you for helping and taking care of her. Sorry things aren't going well at work either. Glad you come and vent to us. Hopefully by venting you will be able to stay away from the eating. You don't deserve to be treated the way you are being treated. Maybe Walmart is looking better. LOL Love ya girl, take care, Jane

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LECATES 11/7/2008 9:06PM

    CHAR, HOW AWFUL FOR YOU---NO ONE DESERVES TO BE TREATED THAT WAY----AND WHO ELSE WOULD ALLOW HER TO COME STAY THE NIGHT AT HER HOUSE----MAYBE JANICE NEEDS A DOSE OF STAYING WHERE SHE BELONGS AND NOT BEING TAKEN TO WALMART OR ANY OTHER PLACE FOR A WHILE---THAT IS REALLY GOING ABOVE AND BEYOND WHAT YOU ARE PAID TO DO----AND SHE NEEDS TO BE TAUGHT A LESSON----THE MONEY IS NOT WORTH YOUR HEALTH---AND YOUR DH NEEDS TO REALIZE THAT HE NEEDS TO STEP UP AND LOOK FOR SOMETHING IF YOU ALL REALLY NEED THE MONEY!

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LINDIEMAE 11/7/2008 9:05PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon now here is some kleenex and you need to blow your nose, wash your face and now that you have let off some steam, talk with Roy, and see if you can find ANOTHER person to care for who would appreciate your goodness. The problem with Janice is she thinks she is family now and wants to be treated like one yet be mean. What ever her problem, you did right by letting her sister know, my goodness, she's a grown woman and needs councelling. Anyway.

I am sure that you could find another person to care for and not have all the greif and keep it at a business level and not bring it home like you have with Janice. Let Janice have someone else. It is time, my friend.

Perhaps you can sit down with Roy and look at your budget and see what is up with that. You already work a job you don't like. I suggest you try and find some positives to help you with that job rather then be miserable all the time. If I could find my book that is quoted on my spark page I would send that to you. But do try and find positives to help you with your first job.

You have excellent qualities and if you go back to Janice, DEMAND A RAISE... to have to put up with that nonsence ...well... I am glad you turn to us, we care about you and for you, but in the end, you and Roy will have to deside...maybe time to draw up new Janice Rules... and have Janice and her sister BOTH sign it and then if they refuse they can go find someone else. When someone knows how much you need the money they tend to take advantage of that..so now my friend, KNOW your value and ask for no more then that...my goodness I've rambled on...have you washed your face??? Love ya ..... emoticon

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UNHAPPY!

Monday, October 13, 2008

HELLO SPARK FRIENDS!I AM REALLY NEW AT THIS BUT FEEL I HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THINGS.I AM VERY UNHAPPY WITH MYSELF!!I HAVE DONE SO GOOD TO LOOSE 30 POUNDS AND I THINK I FELT COMFORTABLE WITH THE NEW MEE SO COMFORTABLE THAT I FELT I CAN EAT THIS OR THAT WHEN THEY WERE POOR CHOICES.WELL I PAID FOR IT I PUT BACK ON 10 POUNDS THAT I WORKED SO HARD TO TAKE OFF!I HAVE BEEN REAL GOOD AT EXERCISEING EVERYDAY!UNTILL DOCTOR SAID NO MORE HILLS!!WELL THAT WAS HELPING AND I FEEL LIKE I AM BEING SET BACK EVEN MORE BY THIS.I DRINK ONLY WATER AND ALLWAY'S GET MY 8 8OZ GLASSES IN A DAY SOME DAY MORE. AND ALSO I AM VERY GOOD AT THE VEGGIES AND FRUIT GETTING IN MY 5 SOMETIME EVEN MORE THERE.I HAVE READ THE ARTICLES ALSO. BUT MY TIME AS YOU KNOW IS LIMITED.I HAVE A HUSBAND THAT WANTS ME TO DO THIS BUT HE ALSO MAKES COMMENTS ALL THE TIME THAT THIOS IS THE ONLY THING I DO!RIGHT NOW I FEEL LIKE A FAILURE.THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS I HATE PEPPERS,CALIFLOWER,BROCCLI,MUSHROOMS JUST A FEW IF THEY ARE IN ANYTHING I WON'T EAT IT.AT WORK IS MY BIGGESTR PROBLEM THERE IS ALLWAY;S SOMETHING THERE AND I AM NOT ONE THAT CAN HAVE JUST ONE I GET THE TASTE IN MY MOUTH AND THEB THAT'S IT !!!THAT IS WHY I COME HOME ALOT DURING LUNCH!!WELL JUST HAD TO VENT AND COME CLEAN!!!I KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO DO I JUST HAVE TO DO IT.ALSO I HAD IT ALL IN MY HEAD BEFORE!!!IT FELLS LIKE I HAVE LOST THAT IT'S JUST NOT THERE ANYMORE OR AT LEAST NOT LIKE IT SHOULD BE I NEED TO GET IT BACK INTO MY HEAD THAT FEELING OF THAT I AM DOING SOMETHING GREAT AND THERE IS NO STOPPING ME.SO I MAY NOT BE ON MUCH FOR AWHILE OR THEN AGAIN IF HUBBY IS BUSY OR NOT AROUND I WILL BE HERE THANK MY DEAR FRIENDS. I LOVE EACHJ AND EVERYONE OF YOU TRULLY I DOI THANK GOD EACH DAY I FOUND THIS SITE AND NOW I PRAY EACH DAY I DON'T LOOSE ANY OF YOU SO PLEASE SAY A PRAYER FOR ME!!!THANKS AGAIN LOVE,CHAR

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DANDDPOFF 10/22/2008 6:34PM

    Char, It was so good to see you post, it helps to get things off the old chest,
You will be find my dear friend, chin up, I know how hard it is, but just try and relax a little about it, It won't help to get stressed over it, trust me on this. Don't feel like the needle ever is going to move for me, but you are my hero , always have been, so don't give up, just get back in the game.
love you and know I am always thinking of you.
love ya
donna

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LMSW55 10/15/2008 7:10AM

    Char, I have missed posting on the daily chat and thought I would pop in to say "Hi". I am so glad to read your post because I think it is very important for you to blog and gain some clarity for moving forward. The past is the past and the future is going to be great. You are doing so many things that are on track. I hear ya when it comes to goodies at work becoming a distraction. I run into this also. A few days ago, I was offered a doughnut and my healthy brain said "no", but my instant gratification brain said "yes" and I ate one! Challenges and distractions face us each day, so one day at a time, my Spark friend. Take some deep breaths and know that your Spark team is here for you!
Mary


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AMLEHNKURT 10/14/2008 9:48AM

    Char,

First things first! You are only human and prone to error and set backs!

Listen to what everyone here has said, because it all makes a lot of sense. The one step forward, two steps back, the sabotaging that some people unconciously do to us, our own uncertainties in ourselves, how we all as women strive to be the perfect wife, mother, daughter, sister, worker, etc. and you know what? Is just isn't possible.

So join the rest of us and don't be perfect! Be Char!

Anne

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RUFREE4T 10/14/2008 8:34AM

    Char,
There are always set backs in life. Look at where you would have been if you had not lost the 30 pounds. OK so you gained some back, you know what to do to loose it again. If you can't do hills what can you do - when life gives you lemons make lemonade. Sometimes people sabotage others for various reasons. Is this what DH is doing? Maybe he is afraid of what your weight loss will do to your relationship. Do things for/with him to reassure him. Most of all make YOU number one. You can reloose this weight and go on to bigger and better things.

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DEUCE119 10/14/2008 12:10AM

    DEAR CHAR, YOUR MOOD MAKES ME SAD. I CAME HERE TO TRY TO BEAT THIS LIFE LONG BATTLE AND ON THE WAY I HAVE FOUND SOME AMAZING FRIENDS. YOU ALL KEEP ME GOING WITH YOUR DIFFERENT PERSONNALTIES AND ADVICE. TO LOOSE EVEN ONE UPSETS THE APPLE CART. NOW I PROBABLY SOUND LIKE THE FLIP SIDE OF YOUR HUSBAND. I DON'T MEAN TO. THE LAST THING I WANT TO DO IS PUT YOU UNDER MORE STRESS. JUST KNOW THAT WE ARE HERE WHENEVER YOU GET THE TIME OR THE NEED. YOU WILL GET PAST THIS AND COME OUT ON TOP.

CHIN UP YOUNG PERSON. I WILL STILL SEND YOU JOKES!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 10/14/2008 12:22:06 AM

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HOUSECAT609 10/13/2008 11:40PM

    Char, I'm so sorry to hear you are unhappy. I know how you feel. I have been back slideing myself.
But now is the time to look at what we have accomplised, and start again.
We both can do this. It won't be easy, but we can go back and relearn everything . We can pay better attention to what we put in our mouths. We can find and do exercises that will benefit our bodies. We can limit how much time we spend on the computer and still be able to spend some time with our friends here.
We can eat the foods we like but in moderation.We just have to be honest with ourselves . Just as Cheryl said in her post this morning.
Don't beat yourself up. We didn't get this way overnight, and we won't lose it overnight. But I'm in this journey to become healthier and hope you will continue with yours as well. ((( HUGS))) Jean


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BARBIERB 10/13/2008 11:34PM

    Char,
You have my prayers and love. I know this life style change sometimes gets a little rough, but together we can all do it.















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emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 10/13/2008 11:33:47 PM

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BUFFALOGAL1952 10/13/2008 10:57PM

    CHAR...MY DEAR FRIEND CHAR. WE ARE SO ALIKE YOU AND I. WE BOTH BEAT OURSELVES UP OVER A FEW BACKSTEPS, WHEN WE SHOULD BE CONGRATULATING OURSELVES FOR GETTING AS FAR AS WE HAVE. AND YOU MY DEAR CHAR HAVE MUCH TO CONGRATULATE YOURSELF ON. LOOK HOW FAR YOU HAVE PROGRESSED FROM WHERE YOU STARTED. WE HAVE ALL HAD SETBACKS AS WELL AS HAVING TO DEAL WITH CRITICISMS FROM OTHERS AS WE STRUGGLE WITH OUR WEIGHT ISSUES. AND IT IS A STRUGGLE. I DON'T THINK ANY ONE OF US COULD SAY OTHERWISE. THIS JOUNEY IS EVER-CHANGING AND YOU NEED TO ROLL WITH IT. A VERY WISE WOMAN TOLD ME RECENTLY THAT YOU MAY NEED TO MAKE SOME "TWEEKS" AS YOU GO. THAT IS WHAT YOU NEED. JUST SOME "TWEEKS" ...DEVELOP A BALANCE BETWEEN ROY AND THE COMPUTER. PLEASE CHAR, DON'T LET YOUR OWN FRUSTRATIONS AND THE UNHAPPY COMMENTS OF OTHERS FUEL NEGATIVE THOUGHTS. ALSO, CONSIDER THIS...HOW CAN YOU BE A FAILURE WHEN YOU HAVE COMMITTED YOURSELF TO SOMETHING GOOD THAT GIVES YOU JOY, SOMETHING THAT IS HELPING YOU TO IMPROVE YOUR HEALTH AND YOUR LIFE, SOMETHING YOU HAVE ALREADY ENJOYED SUCCESS WITH. NO-ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO TAKE THAT AWAY FROM YOU. AS FOR THE FOOD ISSUES, ALL OF US MAKE CHOICES OF LIKES AND DON'T LIKES. YOU ARE A STONG, BEAUTIFUL WOMAN. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING CHAR. YOU HAVE ALREADY BEEN THERE SO YOU KNOW YOU CAN GET THERE AGAIN. STAY TRUE TO YOURSELF. YOU HAVE HAD THE COURAGE TO LAY YOUR ISSUES ON THE TABLE. TAKE HEART IN THE FACT THAT YOUR FRIENDS HAVE RALLLIED AROUND YOU IN SUPPORT. ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE NOT ALONE. WE ARE ALL HERE FOR YOU. WE ALL LOVE YOU.

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GRAMMY2FIVE 10/13/2008 10:27PM

    CHAR WE ALL HAVE GOOD AND BAD DAYS, SET BACKS, UPS AND DOWNS, AND THE ONE THING WE HAVE THAT'S THE BEST OF THIS WHOLLE JOURNEY AND THAT'S WE HAVE EACH OTHER. MAYBE NOW THAT YOU HAVE VENTED SOME OF YOUR PENT UP EMOTIONS YOU'LL BE ABLE TO GET A GOOD NITE SLEEP. BUT KNOW THIS,,,WE ALL LOVE YOU AND WE ARE ALL HERE FOR EACH OTHER ANY TIME.
emoticon emoticon emoticon
CYNTHIA

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DIANEV5 10/13/2008 10:01PM

    Char we all have set backs we just have to hop back on and start again .You just have to tell your self your going to do it.You have to do what works for Char. We are all in this together and trying to accomplish the same thing . We are all here when ever you need us ((HUGS)) emoticon

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MARLA7 10/13/2008 9:48PM

    (((((Char))))) We're here on this journey together. Ups & Downs. It's a part of life. I get discouraged also. But I'm not giving up. I've been limiting my online time too. Nothing wrong with that. Do what works best for you. If there's anything at all I can do or say to help you... I'd do it. I love you Char. Never forget that my friend. (((((((Love)))))))) Marla

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MSALOETTE 10/13/2008 9:08PM

    Ok Char here comes the kick in the backside you are asking for girlfriend!
What makes you think that there is any option to drop out of the journey? Not so, there would be absolutely NO benefit of stopping your journey. Ok now we know you CAN do this or you would NOT have lost that 30 pounds in the first place so here's the deal. STOP FEELING ANGRY WITH YOURSELF
STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF
STOP WAITING TO GET MAD AT YOURSELF
STOP LETTING ANYTHING OR ANYBODY GET IN YOUR WAY
STOP LETTING ANYONE INFLUENCE YOUR DREAMS OF BEING HEALTHIER AND THINNER
NOW HERE IS WHAT YOU DO NEXT....
START MAKING you YES you #1 on the important list!!!!
START A NEW JOURNEY RIGHT NOW THIS VERY MINUTE
START WANTING TO GET THAT WEIGHT UNDER CONTROL
MORE THEN ANYTHING ELSE IN THIS WORLD!!
START COMPLETELY OVER!!
START MAKING THIS ALL YES ALL ABOUT you!!!!!

I know from my own experience that I never dreamt I would stick with this journey. It was so inspiring to be able to show Lindie pictures of the OLD me just a year ago and her to gasp that I looked like that. Char we have all been disgusted with ourselves and wanted to give up me especially but I haven't done that and I won't do that why? BECAUSE I know I have to finish this journey for ME!!! Call it my mission or whatever but I need to do this for ME I love knowing I can do this and it's going to be rewarding in the end to be able to live healthier and longer because I did what I had to do to get that way. NOTHING TASTES AS GOOD AS THIN FEELS!! I read where you said that you got too comfortable with the new you....felt darn good didn't it? Tell me you don't WANT to feel that way more then anything in your life again...YOU can do this. Now if what you are doing isn't working then change things and get them working again. Can't walk up hills? Then sit your bottom on a bike and peddle for an hour or find another form of exercise that you like just move differently. Need more time away from Spark? Well that's easy too that is why we do a Daily Check In not a Chat anymore you can check in quickly and go you do NOT need to take untold amounts of time to sit on the computer. Trust me Roy will LOVE that new body you are going to form!! There are so many ways to answer every negative thought you have IF AND ONLY IF you want to. I think you do....I hear a plea for encouragement and you know you got more then you can handle if you ask for it, but it can't be sugar coated and only YOU can do the work ONE POUND AT A TIME!!! Love you girl. Cheryl emoticon

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ALFREDIA 10/13/2008 8:28PM

  Char

Most of us have gone through these down times. It is so tempting to give up.

I can't be on the computer as much as when we first started. I had to decide what I felt was manageable for me. I don't hold two jobs like you do and I'm retired but it seemed I was doing nothing but being on the computer. I have things that I need to accomplish here and those I like to visit...hobbies I like to explore. I had to prioritize. Take care of you....you are better for those around you for it.

Char we place expectations on ourselves beyond our capabilities and then feel we've failed when we can't live up to them. I've been on the same team and read the chats in the past and you are so busy. Try some meditation even five minutes for yourself daily.

Hope you are able to find middle ground. My prayers are with you.

Marie

Comment edited on: 10/13/2008 8:28:20 PM

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LINDIEMAE 10/13/2008 7:34PM

    CHAR, I AM NOT ONE TO BUTTER COAT THINGS, ITS NOT MY STYLE AND I AM SURE YOU WOULD WANT ME TO BE HONEST WITH YOU, SO LETS APPROACH THIS ONE ARTICLE OF WORRY AT A TIME:

1. YOU ARE NOW LIMITED IN HILLS IN YOUR EXCERCISE? SO DOES THAT MEAN YOU STOP ALL FORMS? OR DOES THAT MEAN THAT YOU FIND A WAY TO EXCERCISE BY REPLACING THOSE HILLS...YOU DO BOOT CAMP, YOU DO YOUR BIKE, YOU DO A HECK OF A LOT OF HEAVY HOUSE CLEANING THAT YOU SHOULD BE COUNTING.... I AM SURE IF YOU LOOK AT THE SPARK VIDEOS YOU CAN COPY ONE TO REPLACE THE HILLS.

2. SPARK TIME. THIS IS YOUR SUPPORT MECHANISM AND EACH AND EVERYONE OF US WANT YOU TO GET THE SUPPORT YOU NEED FROM SPARK YET YOUR HUBBY THINKS YOU SPEND TO MUCH TIME ON HERE, WELL I CAN'T SAY IF YOU DO OR DO NOT. TRY ARRANGING YOUR TIME WHEN HE IS BUSY ELSEWHERE, YOU CAN STILL KEEP A FOOD LOG, MY GOODNESS YOU HAVE BEEN DOING THIS LONG ENOUGH TO KNOW HOW MANY CARBS AND PROTIEN AND FATS ARE IN WHAT YOU EAT; AS YOU SAY YOU ARE FUSSY AND HATE CERTAIN FOODS. DID YOU KNOW IT TAKES A GOOD 4 WEEKS TO DEVELOP A TASTE FOR FOODS? LIMIT YOUR TIME AND KEEP A MANUAL JOURNAL FOR WHEN YOU ARE NOT ON SPARK. ITS UP TO YOU HOW OFTEN YOU POST, OR TALK OR CHAT.

3. WORK ENVIRONMENT - LEARN TO HATE THOSE THINGS AS YOU SAY YOU HATE PEPPERS, BROCCOLLI, CAWLIFLOWER; TAKE YOUR OWN SNACKS AND MAKE YOUR OWN TREATS AND WHEN YOU KNOW YOU SHOULD HAVE THEM HAVE THEM AND STOP COVETING WHAT YOUR CO WORKERS HAVE ELSE YOU WILL WIND UP WITH THEIR HEART ATTACK...YOU CAN DO THIS YOU HAVE MORE KNOWLEDGE AND BACK GROUND THEN ANY OF US HERE AS YOU STATED YOU HAVE READ ALL THE ARTICLES, BUT DID YOU REALLY PAY ATTENTION TO THEM?

PLATEAUS ARE GOOD FOR THE BODY AND SOMETIMES AGAIN IS OUR BODY'S WAY OF TELLING US TO GET BACK TO WHAT WORKED....OK NOW PULL YOUR SOCKS UP AND GET BUSY WOMAN, DO THIS FOR YOU...AND BY THE WAY, ASK ROY IF HE REALLY WANTS YOU TO BE HEALTHY...MOST HUSBANDS DON'T CAUSE THEY ARE AFRAID THAT IF THE WIFE GETS HEALTHY THEY WILL LEAVE OR MOVE ON OR WHAT HAVE YOU SO DON'T LET HIS INSECURETIES BECOME YOUR PROBLEM.

4. HUGGGSSS HUGGGSSSS HUGGGSSSS

LINDIE emoticon

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POLLY20 10/13/2008 7:08PM

    SWEETNESS, I GUESS THAT A LOT OF US ARE FEELING THAT WAY.. I KNOW THAT I AM STRUGGLING AS WELL.. I JUST KEEP ON KEEPING ON & ONE OF THESE DAYS IT'LL ALL HAPPEN I KNOW THIS FOR SURE.. WE ARE RIGHT THERE & EVEN ON THE RIGHT PAGE..CHAR YOU KNOW HOW MUCH WE CARE FOR YOU..I HAVE A HARD TIME COMING ON LINE WHEN TOM IS HOME, WE LOVE TO JUST SPEND AS MUCH TIME TOGETHER TOO.. I HAVE HAD TO LIMIT MYSELF AS WELL..BUT I FEEL SO COMFORTABLE HERE AT SP..I TRY TO COME ON & POST GET MY POINTS READ LOTS OF POST & GET BACK TO DOING MY WORK FOR THE DAY.. IT TRULY IS AN EFFORT, BUT I AM MAKING IT HAPPEN.. JUST DO WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN DOING & JUST ENJOY WHO YOU ARE.. YOU ARE THE MOST KINDEST, COMPASSIONET FRIENDS.. YOU ARE MY FUNNY GIRL ALONG WITH OUR PRECIOUS KATHY..CHAR YOU ARE SUCH A GREAT PART OF US..WE LOVE YOU & CARE ABOUT YOU SO VERY MUCH, GIRLFRIEND.. NOTHING CAN BREAK US UP..FRIENDS FOREVER.. LOVE YOU ALWAYS ((((HUGS)))) POLLY JUST EAT WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD ABOUT THE VEGGIES.. CHEERS
CHAR xxo

Comment edited on: 10/13/2008 7:07:15 PM

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KSNICKER 10/13/2008 5:47PM

    CHAR, I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL... I WENT THROUGH THE SAME THING WHEN I HURT MY BACK AND GAINED 11 POUNDS BACK... YEP I FELT LIKE A FAILURE TOO... BUT I WASN'T... I WAS DOING WHAT I NEEDED TO DO AT THAT TIME... SO DON'T YOU THINK YOU ARE A FAILURE EITHER... YOU ARE NOT... THIS IS A JOURNEY... AND THERE WILL ALWAYS BE BUMPS ALONG THE WAY.
YOU ARE NOW LIMITED IN WHAT YOU CAN DO LIKE SO MANY OTHERS, INCLUDING ME... YOU JUST NEEDED TO VENT THIS OUT AND COME CLEAN AS YOU PUT IT... AND NO ONE IS JUDGING YOU... YOU ARE SUCH AN IMPORTANT PART OF THIS TEAM... YOU CAN'T QUIT...
NOW PULL THEM BOOT STRAPS UP AND GET BACK ON TRACK AND JUST DO WHAT YOU CAN... VENT ALL YOU WANT... TELL US AND MAYBE WE CAN HELP...
AS FOR ROY... I UNDERSTAND THAT TOO... SO WHY NOT LIMIT YOURSELF TO A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF TIME TO SPARK AND JUST PICK ONE THING... LIKE SAYING HELLO TO US IN THE MORNING... YOU CAN READ WHAT EVERYONE IS UP TOO... BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO REPLY TO ALL OF US... JUST DO A GENERAL HELLO AND TELL US ABOUT YOUR DAY... AND COMMENT ON ONE OR TWO THINGS... THEN DO YOUR TRACKING OF FOOD AND EXERCISE...
TALK TO ROY AND TELL HIM YOU UNDERSTAND AND THAT YOU WILL COMPROMISE WITH HIM... AND THEN JUST CUT YOUR SPARK TIME BACK SOME... HE WILL UNDERSTAND THAT WON'T HE?

IF IT WASN'T' RAINING I'D CALL YOU RIGHT NOW... BUT I CAN'T HEAR ON THAT SILLY PHONE WHEN IT RAINS AND I LOOSE THE SIGNAL... LOL

HANG IN THERE CHAR...
((HUGS))

kATHY

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CHURCHMOUSE4 10/13/2008 1:01PM

    CHAR, YOU ARE IN MY THOUGHTS AND MY PRAYERS. PLEASE HANG IN THERE AND KEEP FOCUSING ON ONE DAY AT A TIME AND ONE POUND AT A TIME. WE LOVE YOU AND YOU ARE SUCH AN IMPORTANT PART OF OUR SPARK FAMILY AND YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE. WE ALL HAVE BAD TIMES AND WE NEED TO STICK TOGETHER THROUGH THEM. SO REMEMBER YOU ARE LOVED, HAVE A GLASS OF WATER, AND KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS. LOVE, JACKIE.

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EMOTIONAL EATING

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

MY FIRST SHOT AT CREATING A BIOG SO PLEASE BARE WITH ME!AT WORK I AM FINDING IT VERY HARD TO DEAL WITH SOME CO-WORKERS.THE ONE IN PARTICULAR IS GETTING VERY HARD TO DEAL WITH. FIRST OF ALL EVERYONE AT WORK KNOWS OF MY GOALS. I HAVE TOLD EVERYONE.EVERYONE IS MOSTLY SUPPORTIVE. THIS ONE GIRL WITCH I MIGHT ADD HAS NO PROBLEM WITH WEIGHT AT ALL SHE IS VERY SKINNY.I REALLY DO LIKE HER. BUT THIS WEEK SHE IS NOT ON A GOOD LIST WITH ME. FROM DAY ONE SHE HAS BEEN PUTTING FOOD IN MY FACE AND SAYING YUM, YUM.YESTERDAY I EXPLODED AT HER. IT WAS FAT TUESDAY AND PEOPLE BROUGHT THINGS IN.I HAVE LEFT THINGS ALONE SINCE SEPTEMBER AT WORK. YESTERDAY SHE MADE AND HELD IN FRONT OF ME A BAG OF CHOCOLATE COVERED POPCORN. SAYING AND WAVING IT IN MY FACE YUM, YUM COME ON SMELL THAT YUM. I FREAKED OUT AND YELLED AT HER. SAID YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I HAVE BEEN THU TO GET TO WHERE I AM RIGHT NOW. IT IS SO HARD YOU ARE SO MEAN. AND A COUPLE OF MORE CHOICE WORDS WE WON'T REPEAT EVERYONE ELSE WAS TRYING TO CALM ME DOWN. BY TELLING ME HOW GOOD I AM DOING AND HOW GOOD I LOOK. WHICH BEFORE YESTERDAY THIS VERY GIRL ALSO WAS TELLING ME.AND SHE HAS DONE THIS BEFORE TO ME,BUT I HAVE STAYED THE SAME WEIGHT FOR TWO WEEKS NOW AND IT IS REALLY KILLING ME NOW I AM SO ON EDGE I CAN'T STAND IT. AT TIME I JUST WANT TO GIVE UP ON THIS, THEN I THINK I AM OVER 1/2 WAY TO MY GOAL. AND I WOULD ONLY BE HURTING MYSELF.I HAVE BEEN CHANGING MY EXERCISING FOOD INTAKE ETC. NOTHING WORKING AT THIS POINT. AND STRESS AT WORK WITH A MERGER DOESN'T HELP AT ALL. I AM TRYING TO TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND MOVE FORWARD AND WITH THE HELP OF MY SPARK FRIENDS AND GOD I WILL MAKE MY GOAL SOON!I REALLY DOES FELL BETTER TO TALK ABOUT IT. THANK YOU VERY MUCH SPARK FRIENDS FOR BEING THERE FOR ME OR I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO.I AM SITTING HERE CRYING WHILE TYPING THIS TO ALL OF YOU. I FEEL SO GUILTY AND MAD AT MYSELF ALL AT ONCE. I KNOW I HAVE TO GET OVER THIS PICK MY CHIN UP ANDGO ON. OR I WILL BE EATING EVERYTHING IN SIGHT AND IN MY HEART THAT IS NOT WHAT I WANT TO DO. SO PLEASE HELP MY FRIENDS!IT TRULLY DOES FEEL GOOD TO CALL ALL OF YOU MY FRIENDS. CHAR

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LINDIEMAE 6/29/2008 7:51PM

    Hey Char, just dropped by and read your blog, my goodness, no one would be able to act like that in my place of work...

Just thinkof all the chemicals that that child is poluting themselves with and that you no longer need because your on your healthier life style journey. Yea she's a bump in the road, but somewhere down the line she will have this to deal with. I was once a skinny winny.

You have done remarkablly well and I for one am inspired by you and your determination and your will power and all that you do. You put me to shame, man, You will get by this plateau that your on..but do try not to be stressed...

I know your said your taking deep breath, so try doing that for like 5 minutes, do NOTHING but listen to your breathing. This will help... trust me eh emoticon

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LMSW55 2/21/2008 5:49AM

    Oh Char, one more thing, I was thinking that sometimes skinny people live in their own hell because they may be binging and purging their food to stay thin - bulimic, they are called. This girl may not have that issue, but the thought occurred to me that she may. So many mysterious, misunderstood sides to human experiences, eh?
Mary


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LMSW55 2/21/2008 5:43AM

    My goodness Char, I know I am late in reading this and this too, has probably passed by now, but it sounds as if you have a real bully on your hands at work. I am glad the majority of your co-workers are supportive. The bully girl, more than likely, is to be pitied because bullies, as a rule, are cowards and very insecure. I know this doesn't change her behavior, but perhaps reframing your thoughts about her will help you in dealing with her in the future.
Thank you for adding me as a Spark friend. I too, value you and enjoy reading your posts.
Mary


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FROGGIE13777 2/13/2008 6:56PM

    Char...wow you were magnificent!!! She is lucky you did not deck her...so prudent of you to only use words. YOu are right you are more than half way o your goal and you are a role model for me because I have twice as far to go as you and when I see other people out there who have done it well I just get courage to go on and say....I know I can...I know I can.
I got the Valentine from you and it really encouraged my heart. Thank you so much. the +50+50 team is very special and I count you as one of my friends and an example.
Happy Valentines day my Friend
Keep up the good work

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CRJENNETT 2/6/2008 11:34PM

    I have had to deal with skinny people all my life. Both my mother and my brother were just naturally skinny. Charlie put on weight when he got older, but mother never did. They both thought my weight was a character flaw in me.

Remember the old latin saying....Bastardis non carberundum....Don't let the bastards grind you down.

If they had to do what you are doing, they would never make it.

Mimi

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KSNICKER 2/6/2008 10:11PM

    Hi Char,
I am so sorry that you had to deal with that skinny witch... There is no excuse for her to be that way to you... You have worked so hard. Don't let that little witch bring you down... How Rude she was... You have gotten some great advice from that others here already... I'd sit her down and have that talk like Mauri says... It 's best to bring her over to your side and then maybe she will think before she acts next time... Who knows maybe she realizes how stupid it was to act that way...
Just don't give up because of HER... Don't give her that power over you... And remember that You have us... And venting all the built up stuff is what we do here... We need each other to get through all this... The good and well as the bad times... So hang in there... We need you here with us... ((HUGS)) my friend! Kathy

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AMLEHNKURT 2/6/2008 9:53PM

    Hey our little energizer bunny! Give your head a shake and let's look at this with wide open eyes, okay?

Let me guess that this girl, first of all, is younger than you. Almost about twenty years younger. This would explain her immature behaviour to you saying no to junk food you don't want to put into your body and may I emphasize, your body!

I got an image of Nellie Olson from Little House on Prairie teasing Laura Ingells. So ignor Nellie and carry on with what you are doing Char. In another ten, twenty or thirty years this Nellie will have a weight problem and you will have satifaction in knowing that with every mouthful you watch her take now, will add unwanted pounds and inches to her in years to come!

You keep on, keeping on and you will reach your goal. You are a very determined and focused person Char and hard worker where
ever you are, so don't let Nellie get you down!!!

Keep singing, biking, dancing, walking Harley, etc.. So here it goes...Wild thing, you make my thing swing! Isn't that how it goes?

Love ya friend!

Anne

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ALFREDIA 2/6/2008 3:00PM

  Char
From your description of the events this girl is very immature rude and downright destructive. I think I would have to confront her and ask what satisfaction she received from being that inconsiderate. You have achieved so much. We're all very happy for you that you have made it this far. You give us hope. Makes me want to break into song "You light up my life". You know we love to sing in our chat group. I hate that she did this but I know had I been there I would only have thought less of her for her thoughtless actions and more of you for your determination to take care of yourself. We're here for you.

HUGS
Marie

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MAURIZIA 2/6/2008 7:31AM

    Char, I wish I could be with you to give you a real hug - but I'm sending a virtual one through SP. As I read it, I sit here with tears in my eyes for you because I, too, have been in this situation in the past. I know how hurtful it is for someone who is as giving as you and as caring as you. It is so difficult to understand why some people are this way. After you have calmed down, I would calmly talk with her, saying, " (name), I'm sorry I blew up at you but you have no idea how hard I have worked to get healthy. I am so happy for you that you don't have to go through this and are able to eat anything you want. That's not true for me and so I'd like to ask for your support."

She sounds to me like someone who wants attention. By asking for her support and acknowledging that she doesn't have the problem may just be the ticket to get her behind you instead of against you. Just a suggestion.

In the meantime, I know that in the moment of emotion, you are tempted to give it all up BUT I also know, Char, that you are a woman of your word! That you have committed to this healthy lifestyle - and just like your commitments to family, to Janice, to work - you will follow through. I'm not worried that you will give it up - I'm just hurting for you.

In the meantime, we are ALWAYS here for you! Just post or blog - and I am sending you prayers and lots of hugs - we LOVE you! ~~ Maurizia

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DANDDPOFF 2/6/2008 7:13AM

    Char, she may be skinny , but has no sence at all, or maturing either, don't pay any attention to her. I know I have some so called friends like that, they like to brag how they can eat anything and not gain weight, well, so what, me and you can lose the weight and become beautiful,but they can not change their ugle personalty, so to h___ with her, we are here with you. donna

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MARLA7 2/6/2008 6:55AM

    Oh Char.... First of all, never give up. You are doing so well, you've come so far & YOU DESERVE to continue getting healthy! Tell that girl "what part of NO do you NOT understand" when she tempts you with food. That was very immature of her. You've shown you have willpower by not giving in to all the office goodies. Just keep moving forward & say 'no thanks' to the girls. You can vent anytime. That's what we're here for. You've shown you can do it, now keep on doing it! You inspire me. I also am so glad we have each other. I feel as if I've known you all for years! Take care now. It's good to call you my friend too! Love you, Marla

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LOOSING WEIGHT

Friday, October 12, 2007

I HAVE 50 LBS. TO LOOSE. I HAVE HAD 4 OPERATION AND I AM 51 SO I FIND IT HARDER TO LOOSE THE WEIGHT. BUT I AM TRYING MY BEST! I NEVER COUNTED CALORIES JUST CUT DOWN. SO THIS IS ALL NEW TO ME.IF I CAN DO IT ANYONE CAN DO IT.AND I AM STARTING TO FIND ALL THE DIFFERENT AREAS ON THE SITE. HOPE TO HEAR FROM SOMONE. THANKS FOR LISTENING. CHAR

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BELLAVANCE1 7/7/2008 10:52PM

    Hey Char..
Hope your still working with the site. It really is a pain but it really works. I fought counting calories but finally realized I was not going to win without working the site properly. My daughter has lost 48 lbs since last November and I have now lost 18 since the first of March. It was weight I thought I would never be able to take off. Never give up. I see your a biker. I rode for 9 years and just sold the bike for a convertible last year. We did the Blue Ridge , Smokies, Cumberland Gap all of South Dakota and everything in between it and Texas. The Hill country in South Texas was wonderful riding also.
Han in there. The lost makes ou feel so muc better.
Marilyn

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DDPATTERSON01 10/12/2007 5:11PM

    Hi, just chiming in to welcome you. I've only been at SP for 2 weeks, 2 days, and 42 mins., but I just love it! Got waaaaaay more than 50 lbs. to lose, but I have yet to find a better place to get the support to do it.

Use everything here -- -- there are so many great resources!

Good luck!

Dana

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MARLA7 10/12/2007 3:56PM

    I also have 50 lbs. to lose - mine is for a kidney transplant. It is harder to lose weight the older we get...I'm 52. Just think healthy. Track everything you eat in the nutrition tracker... take a walk or do some form of exercise & track it in the fitness tracker. Drink lots of water. It takes time but it will work & the weight will come off. It didn't come on overnight & it won't come off overnight either. Stick with it & have a happy, healthier life. Best of luck to you. Marla

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WANDAH3 10/12/2007 1:15PM

    Welcome to a great team. Use the trackers for nutrition and exercise and you will have success. They are keys to helping you see where you might need to make changes and to keeping you on track. Drink lots of water and post often. Jump into any of the posts, you are always welcome. If you have any questions just ask and someone will help you out.
One step at a time, you need to rid yourself of those old habits that helped to create the problem of weight gain and learn new healthy habits. It won't happen overnight, but it will happen.
Have an awesome day,
Wanda

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