Monday, May 09, 2011
"I never regret working out, but I almost always regret not working out"
Those aren't just words to me. They're a constant reminder to fight laziness & complacency.
Well today was an uneventful travel day, which was good, because I'm evented up to my eyeballs from all of last week's activities. Got into San Antonio around 5:00PM (95 degrees here people!), checked into my room, changed into my gym clothes, stopped by a grocery store to pick up some water and fruit....then the mental battle began.
There I was. Bananas, apples, and an Asian Pear in my cart, avoiding the bread aisle, poo-pooing myself as I instinctively reached for a can of cashews (good God, I can't fathom the calories I'd have packed on with those), and went over to the frozen veggies to grab some Brussel Sprouts & Lima Beans to nuke in the microwave (why do all these things have place names; Asian, Brussels, Lima? Do I really have to capitalize them?)
Somehow it was almost 7:15PM and I thought...."Hmmm, could it be too late to go to the gym? Should I just get up early and go in the morning?" Madness I tell you.
I remembered the 3.5 lb uptick on the scale from yesterday, the trauma of blogging the truth, the gut-wrenching night I would spend tossing and turning in a lonely hotel room, cursing myself for failed resolve....and I drove straight to the gym!
And once on the bike...Voila! I was right where I needed to be! The tunes were right, the exertion felt great, and I realized that I really had nothing better to do tonight than to work out. So I enjoyed the ride and, as if to make up for my earlier psychic trepidations, decided that hell 'ya, I'll still get up early and sneak in a workout before tomorrow's day of meetings (another one of those all day presentations deals with tons of grazing foods at every break).
I already feel better eating under my calorie range for the day. Detox from last week feels good. I had forgotten how uncomfortable it feels to always be full (note to self, still need to blog about hunger). I don't think we were meant to feast every day.
So keep fighting complacency right along with me Spark friends....there's only two times you need to work out; when you want to and when you don't want to!
Sunday, May 08, 2011
OK, so this is going to be a tough blog.
I'm up 3.5 lbs from my low of 187....190.5 is what the all-knowing scale blinked back at me as a matter of fact.
Was it a surprise? Yes and no. I've seen my daily calorie totals creeping up since last weekend, so the math adds up. I somehow felt I was immune to their totals. Ha! The emotions don't add up and that's what's bugging me. So I blog......
Oh, I've got a million reasons...where do I start? Well I'm not going to list out a single one, because in the end, there's been no good reason other than I have given in to snacks and eating when each time, when faced with the choice, I knew better. It was the old, "I deserve it this one time" excuse. Well this one time kept adding up and up all the way to 3.5 lbs worth of up.
So I'm actually looking forward to hitting the road for San Antonio tomorrow. I need to detox and do a bit of Spartan living for a few days. No three course meals, no late night snacks, no big social eating events.....I'm filled to the gills on this week.
But just in case I've raised a care amongst my Spark friends, no need to fear. Your trusty author is ready to get right back up on that hobby horse and aerobically ride it back down to goal weight! This week has been an anomaly, and a bit of a wake up call. There is no such thing as a free lunch....or a free snack, or a free calorie.....they all add up. Ego got the better of me, thinking I was exempt from the laws of nature.
Oh and I was tempted to ignore a mouthful of pie in the tracker btw. The voices spoke to me, encouraging "the hiding of truth", more commonly known as LYING!! Did I really need to enter in those 3 Starlight mints (20 calories each)? Yes I did, because it's all about truth here people!
And because it's all about truth, I can't sit back and NOT write about going up a few lbs....for me, Spark people is not all about good news and fun times. I'm deadly serious about this stuff and getting healthy is way too important to blow off a significant event like 3.5 lbs of weight gain.
I went back and re-read some of the things I put down on my Sparkpage when I first joined, when that desire to shed the weight was at its strongest. "Track everything I eat and use the info to eat smarter" and "Tracking calories HONESTLY and using the information throughout the day to stay within my goals". Nothing has changed, I just ignored what I knew.
And ignoring all those warning bells and lights is exactly what got me to 200+ lbs in the first place. Ignoring what I know works, thinking that a small gain is not so bad, is the insidious path to Fat City. It's the express bus to Fat City! Hell it's like asking to drive the bus to Fat City, with one hand on the wheel and wolfing down a turkey leg with the other!
So much as I love you dear Spark friends, resist the urge to tell me it's alright...it really isn't. But I'm strong enough to know that this is a blip that will smooth out, centered enough to not dwell on it, and thankful enough for the awareness to catch it before packing on even more weight.
Happy Mother's Day to all mothers, and good night to all!
Thursday, May 05, 2011
WOW! What a Cinco de Mayo it was! Miraculously I think I stayed within my calorie range...mostly through sheer good luck....or maybe because SWMBO started doing the Macarena and swayed me away from the empenadas and stuffed jalapenos. And thereby hangs a tale.....
So my day started very early at work getting caught up on reports and then some team meetings. At noon, I had to duck out to meet SWMBO. We were hosting a local Holocaust Remembrance Day which started with a luncheon, then flowed into speeches by some survivors and children of survivors, then into panel discussions.
Lunch was great. Hard to accurately gauge calories, especially on this big hunk of Focaccia with some nicely grilled chicken, some artichokes, assorted spices, yadda yadda. I ate the toppings and just a little bread. I did have the Cannoli for dessert though, so lunch ended up at about 600 calories.
SWMBO and I sat by a 90 year old Polish gentlemen that had escaped from a labor camp and spent the years 1943-1945 in the woods of Poland and Ukraine working, evading, surviving, and at times fighting German soldiers. I can only hope to be as strong and as lucid as he at 90. We also had a Belgian gentleman there who kept a diary about life in Belgium during the occupation and the work he did with the citizenry to hide members of the Jewish community. He read excerpts for about 20 minutes.
We then took the crowd to a local auditorium where we had invited many of the local community, to include a large cross section of the local high school kids, to come hear their stories. It was inspiring! Much like I was able to do a few months ago with some local World War II veterans, it was incredible to see and hear living history from those who had witnessed horrific events.
From there I hightailed it back to the office to get caught up after being out for almost 5 hours, finished what I could, then drove back home to pick up SWMBO for a Cinco de Mayo celebration with some of the local community at a posh little joint in Valparaiso, a little town north of here on the Bay.
Standard mixer events (treasure hunts to go meet everyone, strategically placed gulf shrimp, jalapeno poppers, tostadas, empenadas, grilled & sauteed chicken, lots of yum yums)
But SWMBO had told me that this was date night, which is code for, "We'll go to your stupid mixer, but you're hanging out with me, we're splitting a plate of hors d'œuvres, and we're going to dance!"
I guess life could be worse....after listening to the stories today, I realized that nothing in my life is really that bad.
So we did our thing, but I realized that I have become such a creature of habit, that when my eating timing is off, I turn into a snacking mess. I cast too many sidelong glances at the stuffed jalapenos. Most of the time, I just grabbed some shrimp, which was much better than the alternative. But somehow, in the madness of the crowd, I found myself alone and side-by-side with the cheesy re-fried beans dip tray, with it's close friend jalapeno popper bowl . How did I get here? Why is my hand putting these things on a plate. Who am I?
I had a few, then felt a sharp poke in my ribs and heard a familiar voice say, "come on, we're going to Macarena!"
Oh God noooooo.........!
Is there no way a man can maintain his dignity in this world? Why am I always on the horns of a dilemma where the choice is either bad or worse?
Well at least it was like a cold slap in the face away from toxic snacking. I grabbed a diet coke, weaved through the crowd, steered SWMBO towards one of her girl friends, they looked at eachother just as the music changed to Shakira, then screeched and started dancing away. Saved by the bell! I much prefer watching her dance anyway.
All in all, not too bad. It's always a crap shoot figuring out nutritional values of bite sized snacks, so I winged it as best I could. Even worse case estimates put me square within limits for the day.
But whew what a day! Who would have thought that a rag tag army of Mexican soldiers putting such a hurt on the French back in 1862 would generate such splendid celebrations in the US today?!?
Buenas noches Spark amigos!
Wednesday, May 04, 2011
Well life is getting back to normal and that's a good thing. Normal eating, normal working out, almost normal lifestyle at home....still a lot of guests here.
But, even with a hectic work schedule I was able to get back on track very easily with the day's eating. Hit the gym after work, and took my older son there as well. He did his routine while I worked chest & shoulders with trainer guy. Then he and I went to Panera Bread for dinner (walked out of there for under 700 calories, ending the day at 1700 total, right at my lower range) and took him shopping for some 23 year old essentials (shirts, shorts, running shoes).
I'm off to bed...more adventures tomorrow....Cinco de Mayo!
Tuesday, May 03, 2011
Wow what a day!
We had a very nice celebration today. And of course, as with any celebration there was food. Lots of food. Celebratory food. Hors d'œuvre food.
It went very well, a great event for all of us, made especially nice by having my mom, SWMBO and our 2 boys there.
But there was food. Lots of food. Celebratory food. Hors d'œuvre food.
I think I did alright, but as with any Hors d'œuvre meal, it's always tough to know exactly what the calorie count is, so I rounded up and it looks like I ended up pretty good for the day.
But then I had a wedge of cake. Celebratory cake. About 350 calories worth of cake. That put me over the top.
But it was a one of a kind kind of day....lots going on, very busy, but very nice.
No workout either though, so tomorrow is back on the hobby horse for a day of normalcy and exercise.
Good night Spark friends.
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