Wednesday, January 06, 2010
So, i says to meself. If it didn't work last year --or the 40 years before that --what would make me think that it would work this year!!!
The reality is that if I lose ONE pound a week for 52 weeks that is 52 pounds GONE! It does not matter if I impress the Ladys in the group every week with the largest loss. What matters is that I am consistent. Now, that is what all material has been saying all these years--I just didn't hear it. It is a life style --not a big deal, simply letting life unfold and choosing how I will handle it. I tend to sulk, go inside myself--go it alone--afraid of looking needy and therefore I am needy. FUNNY, we humans are a trip!!
I think about it too much--whatever it is trying to make a perfect plan so that I will not get in trouble for making a mistake and look foolish--like I really wanted anything in the first place.
The reality is that I do want to look good. Ok , so that's not a sin!! All goes back to as a child being made fun of when I thought I looked nice. And getting lost in the fear of it happening again. Never, really realizing that when others would do such a thing it would be out of their own feeling of not feeling good about themselves. Interesting!
I don't really know how to not care what people are thinking--in reality I do not know what they are thinking. But one can sure tell by their words and actions! Most folks are just trying to get through life and are searching for someone to share the smile with.
I am exercising well and eating pretty good. I am getting muscle in my back to keep me more balanced. So, I guess I should celebrate and pat myself on the back---that was a secret goal of mine--I was afraid that I couldn't do it. Now-- to let myself continue and feel good about it is where I have a problem--I should say had a problem because it is certain that I CAN AND DID SUCCEED AT IT~~~ WOOOHOO!!
I need a little more ego stroking of myself this year--see what it feels like--learn to live with it without feeling guilty. Quit disregarding my feelings of looking, and thinking positive about myself and venture out--there.