GERIKRAGH   171,687
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24 Adult Truths

Tuesday, July 05, 2011


1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind-of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GISPIN 7/7/2011 2:37PM

    I'd like to hug whoever eventually figures out #5!! Thanks for the laugh!

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MANDYJ11 7/7/2011 12:48PM

    Very funny - thanks for the laugh! (By the way, I'm at work - and I have just hit the moment when I realize I will get nothing more done today - that's how I happened upon your blog!)

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1CRAZYDOG 7/5/2011 10:57AM

  Too funny!!! As for #11 . . . well, that usually happens the moment you open the door where you work, doesn't it! I COMPLETELY understand #19 . . . I do this more than I want to admit to.

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THETURTLEBEAR 7/5/2011 9:10AM

    I especially agree with 2, 5, 10 and 17!

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BLACKPEPA 7/5/2011 9:02AM

    Cute! emoticon

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Take Pride in Being Elderly

Monday, July 04, 2011

OLD PERSON PRIDE

I'm passing this on as I did not want to be the only old person receiving it.

Actually, it's not a bad thing to be called, as you will see.
•Old People are easy to spot at sporting events; during the playing of the

National Anthem. Old People remove their caps and stand at attention and

sing without embarrassment. They know the words and believe in them.
•Old People remember World War II, Pearl Harbor, Guadalcanal , Normandy and

Hitler. They remember the Atomic Age, the Korean War, The Cold War, the Jet

Age and the Moon Landing.
•They remember the 50 plus Peace-keeping Missions from 1945 to 2005, not to mention Vietnam.
•If you bump into an Old Person on the sidewalk he will apologize.
•If you pass an Old Person on the street, he will nod or tip his cap to a lady.
•Old People trust strangers and are courtly to women.
•Old People hold the door for the next person and always, when walking, make certain the lady is on the inside for protection.
•Old People get embarrassed if someone curses in front of women and children and they don't like any filth or dirty language on TV or in movies.
•Old People have moral courage and personal integrity. They seldom brag unless it's about their children or grandchildren.
•It's the Old People who know our great country is protected by the young men and women in the military serving their country.

This country needs Old People with their work ethic, sense of responsibility, pride in their country and decent values.


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROBBIE53 7/5/2011 8:28AM

    This one is good Geri, count me in!

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TEDYBEAR2838 7/5/2011 8:12AM

    Me too, I'm one of them emoticon

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YICHE12 7/5/2011 7:31AM

    I guess I'm one of those too! I enjoyed reading this and appreciated the difference between our upbringing and those that came thereafter. Quite a difference!

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LORETTA24 7/5/2011 7:13AM

    emoticon emoticon Count me in that number.

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TUBLADY 7/5/2011 3:38AM

    I don't like to consider myself old. But in this case you nailed it. I do remember and act like the person you described, So mark me down as one of the old people. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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2BEHEALTHYAGAIN 7/4/2011 10:41PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

I am proud to be a member of the Old People Club!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon



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Friday Funny

Friday, July 01, 2011


An old Italian lived alone in New Jersey . He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard.

His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love,

Papa

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Pop,
Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried.
Love,
Vinnie

At 6 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.

That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Pop,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.



Love you,




Vinnie


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THETURTLEBEAR 7/1/2011 10:40AM

    Excellent!

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CINDYHEN 7/1/2011 10:17AM

    Funny!

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MUDMOUSE 7/1/2011 10:09AM

    I somehow can't stop laughing over that one. Clever Vinnie...

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ROBBIE53 7/1/2011 9:59AM

    Very clever!

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1CRAZYDOG 7/1/2011 9:38AM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon What can I say!!

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29 Lines to Make You Smile

Thursday, June 30, 2011


TWENTY-NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences.
He thought he was God and I didn't.
2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
9. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
12. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
16. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
17. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
18. Procrastinate Now!
19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
24. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
25. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
26. Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
27. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
28. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
29. I smile because I don't know what the heck is going on.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CORNERKICK 7/8/2011 10:35PM

  :)

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RURABE 7/5/2011 2:56AM

    Great! emoticon emoticon
Rick

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ALASKAPSYCH 7/1/2011 8:01AM

    Numbers 23 and 29 made me laugh audibly! Loved it. Thanks for the giggle. Hope your ankle is better soon. c

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ROBBIE53 7/1/2011 7:43AM

    I may have to use sosme of these on FB, loved it!

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VENISEW1 6/30/2011 9:04PM

    emoticonI love your blogs!

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PEGGY-BEE 6/30/2011 11:23AM

    brought a smile to my face! thanks

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DARKANGEL062 6/30/2011 10:53AM

    Cool 29 smiles and a little laugh. emoticon

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CURVYCC 6/30/2011 10:49AM

    Excellent!!!

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THETURTLEBEAR 6/30/2011 10:29AM

    Especially loved the gene pool one!
emoticon

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Joke

Wednesday, June 29, 2011



Pecans in the Cemetery



On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old, pecan tree just
inside the cemetery fence.

One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree,
out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. 'One for you, one for me, one
for you, one for me,' said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward
the fence.

Along came another boy riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed,
he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to
investigate. Sure enough, he heard, 'One for you, one for me, one for you,
one for me...' He just knew what it was.

He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old
man with a cane, hobbling along. 'Come here quick,' said the boy, 'you
won't believe what I heard! Satan and The Lord are down at the cemetery
dividing up the souls!' The man said, 'Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard
for me to walk.'

When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.
Standing by the fence they heard, 'One for you, one for me. One for you,
one for me.' The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been telling me the
truth." Let's see if we can see the Lord...?

Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to
see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the
fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.

At last they heard, "One for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go get
those nuts by the fence and we'll be done...?"

They say the old man had the lead for a good half-mile before the kid on
the bike passed him.


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JENNI_ROCK 6/30/2011 2:13AM

    Good one!

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ROBBIE53 6/29/2011 6:50PM

    hahahah! Thanks for the laugh!

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SUGARPUNK52 6/29/2011 11:45AM

  Thanks for the laugh!

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1CRAZYDOG 6/29/2011 11:26AM

  emoticon emoticon

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THETURTLEBEAR 6/29/2011 10:57AM

    HA HA HA!


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NANCYRUBIO 6/29/2011 10:50AM

    Thanks I really need a joke.

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SWEESIN 6/29/2011 10:42AM

    I loved it!

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