Friday, July 01, 2011
An old Italian lived alone in New Jersey . He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard.
His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried.
At 6 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.
That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Pecans in the Cemetery
On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old, pecan tree just
inside the cemetery fence.
One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree,
out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. 'One for you, one for me, one
for you, one for me,' said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward
Along came another boy riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed,
he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to
investigate. Sure enough, he heard, 'One for you, one for me, one for you,
one for me...' He just knew what it was.
He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old
man with a cane, hobbling along. 'Come here quick,' said the boy, 'you
won't believe what I heard! Satan and The Lord are down at the cemetery
dividing up the souls!' The man said, 'Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard
for me to walk.'
When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.
Standing by the fence they heard, 'One for you, one for me. One for you,
one for me.' The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been telling me the
truth." Let's see if we can see the Lord...?
Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to
see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the
fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.
At last they heard, "One for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go get
those nuts by the fence and we'll be done...?"
They say the old man had the lead for a good half-mile before the kid on
the bike passed him.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
> Tour boats ferry people out to the USS Arizona Memorial in Hawaii every thirty minutes.
> We just missed a ferry and had to wait thirty minutes.
> I went into a small gift shop to kill time.
> In the gift shop, I purchased a small book entitled, "Reflections on Pearl Harbor" by Admiral Chester Nimitz.
> Sunday, December 7th, 1941--Admiral Chester Nimitz was attending a concert in Washington D.C.
> He was paged and told there was a phone call for him.
> When he answered the phone, it was President Franklin Delano Roosevelt.
> He told Admiral Nimitz that he (Nimitz) would now be the Commander of the Pacific Fleet.
> Admiral Nimitz flew to Hawaii to assume command of the Pacific Fleet.
> He landed at Pearl Harbor on Christmas Eve, 1941.
> There was such a spirit of despair, dejection and defeat--you would have thought the Japanese had already won the war.
> On Christmas Day, 1941, Adm. Nimitz was given a boat tour of the destruction wrought on Pearl Harbor by the Japanese.
> Big sunken battleships and navy vessels cluttered the waters every where you looked.
> As the tour boat returned to dock, the young helmsman of the boat asked, "Well Admiral, what do you think after seeing all this destruction?"
> Admiral Nimitz's reply shocked everyone within the sound of his voice.
> Admiral Nimitz said, "The Japanese made three of the biggest mistakes an attack force could ever make, or God was taking care of America. Which do you think it was?"
> Shocked and surprised, the young helmsman asked, "What do mean by saying the Japanese made the three biggest mistakes an attack force ever made?"
> Nimitz explained:
> Mistake number one: the Japanese attacked on Sunday morning. Nine out of every ten crewmen of those ships were ashore on leave. If those same ships had been lured to sea and been sunk--we would have lost 38,000 men instead of 3,800.
> Mistake number two: when the Japanese saw all those battleships lined in a row, they got so carried away sinking those battleships, they never once bombed our dry docks opposite those ships.
> If they had destroyed our dry docks, we would have had to tow everyone of those ships to America to be repaired. As it is now, the ships are in shallow water and can be raised.. One tug can pull them over to the dry docks, and we can have them repaired and at sea by the time we could have towed them to America.
> And I already have crews ashore anxious to man those ships.
> Mistake number three: Every drop of fuel in the Pacific theater of war is on top of the ground in storage tanks five miles away over that hill.
> One attack plane could have strafed those tanks and destroyed our fuel supply.
> That's why I say the Japanese made three of the biggest mistakes an attack force could make, or God was taking care of America.
> I've never forgotten what I read in that little book.
> It is still an inspiration as I reflect upon it.
> In jest, I might suggest that because Admiral Nimitz was a Texan, born and raised in Fredricksburg, Texas -- he was a born optimist.
> But anyway you look at it--Admiral Nimitz was able to see a silver lining in a situation and circumstance where everyone else saw only despair and defeatism.
> President Roosevelt had chosen the right man for the right job.
> We desperately needed a leader that could see silver linings in the midst of the clouds of dejection, despair and defeat.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
I have read all of the health articles on Spark People and I'm on my second read. I need those three points! Anyway, I've determined that I'm not going to die too soon. A lot of the ailments say that it's bad if you're losing weight with no explanation. That leaves me out of at least 50%. About 75% said you shouldn't smoke. I don't so that takes me to about 90 percent. The other small percentage are rare or inherited. None of my relatives have died from a strange disease. So, being overweight, there are only a few diseases. Now that I'm exercising and eating properly, I'm hoping to keep the boogie man away.
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