GERIKRAGH   171,742
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Alabama

Saturday, December 31, 2011

Joe and Henry separated from their buddies and went out shooting on their own. Just as Henry shot the biggest deer they had ever seen, he had a heart attack.
When Joe got back with the buck on his back, his friends asked him where Henry was. He said he was about 2 miles back and he had died of a heart attack. They asked him why he brought the deer back and not Henry. He said if he'd left the deer someone might have stolen it. He said Henry was safe where he was!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SENATOR9 1/1/2012 12:35PM

    True hunter

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CLIMBERS_ROCK 1/1/2012 11:08AM

    I love staring today, this week, this month, this year with humor and plan to make it part of my daily routine in 2012. Thanks for helping me begin my quest.

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ROBBIE53 1/1/2012 8:46AM

    emoticon

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IDLETYME 1/1/2012 7:31AM

    That's what friends are for?????? emoticon

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WIGIME 1/1/2012 4:25AM

    What a pal! I guess he knows his priorities!

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THETURTLEBEAR 12/31/2011 9:41PM

    emoticon

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BUTEAFULL 12/31/2011 8:36PM

    logical emoticon

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MERRYMARY42 12/31/2011 8:10PM

    actually, good thinking, Happy New Year, I enjoy your daily jokes.

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MOMMA_BEAR_69 12/31/2011 6:17PM

    emoticon So very true!!!

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RRP546 12/31/2011 4:12PM

  i see

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Toilet Paper

Friday, December 30, 2011


Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my
husband
that my breasts are too small.

Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically
comes up with a suggestion.
'If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet
paper
and rub it between them for a few seconds'.
Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in
front of
the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts.
'How long will this take?' I asked.

'They will grow larger over a period of years,' my husband replies.
I stopped. 'Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my
breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?'

Without missing a beat he says, 'Worked for your butt, didn't it?'
He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again,
although he will probably continue to take his meals through a straw.


Stupid, stupid man.


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CORNERKICK 1/3/2012 3:51AM

  Good one!

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SHARJOPAUL 1/1/2012 10:29AM

    LOL

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SHARJOPAUL 1/1/2012 10:29AM

    LOL

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ROBBIE53 1/1/2012 8:44AM

    emoticon

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MOMMA_BEAR_69 12/31/2011 6:19PM

    And he is still alive to tell it!!! emoticon

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LORETTA24 12/31/2011 11:43AM

    emoticon

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SENATOR9 12/31/2011 10:20AM

    But she ask the question emoticon

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IDLETYME 12/31/2011 8:24AM

    Husbands are really so helpful! emoticon emoticon

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CALIKIKI 12/30/2011 10:42PM

    HAHAHAHA! loved it!

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VENISEW1 12/30/2011 5:58PM

    emoticon

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TERRYT55 12/30/2011 2:48PM

    Your hubby and mine would get along well! Thanks for helping me see 2011 out with a smile and a hearty laugh! Happy New Year

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JUDY1676 12/30/2011 2:07PM

    emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 12/30/2011 2:07PM

  . . . and then the fight started! Love this one.

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PATTY267 12/30/2011 1:21PM

    You gotta love that man's sense of humor. Thanks for the chuckle, even if it was at your expense. Blessings, Patty

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INFLATED 12/30/2011 12:46PM

    My Mom made a sandwich for a friend of mine that came over for the weekend during high school. Mom put a napkin in her lettuce and tomato sandwich. I would put toilet paper in my husband's, if he did that to me. I know it's a joke and it's a funny one!

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MI-ELLKAYBEE 12/30/2011 12:14PM

    HeeHeeHee emoticon Happy and blessed New Year to you and yours!

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CLIMBERS_ROCK 12/30/2011 11:57AM

    This is too funny, but unfortunately close to home, well it used to be. Not now. LOL

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TINY67 12/30/2011 11:30AM

    emoticon

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ANNIE924 12/30/2011 11:11AM

    I really like this one.

Happy New Year and keep the jokes coming. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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RONIREDD 12/30/2011 11:06AM

    That is way too funny! Thank you for the chuckle!

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Christmas Shopping (I should have posted this last week)

Thursday, December 29, 2011

A married couple had been out shopping at the mall for most of the afternoon.
Suddenly, the wife realized that her husband had "disappeared".
The somewhat irate spouse called her mate's cell phone and demanded: "Where the hell are you?"

Husband: "Darling, you remember that Jewellery shop where you saw the diamond necklace and totally fell in love with it and I didn't have money that time and said, 'Baby, it'll be yours one day'?"
Wife, with a smile, blushing:
"Yes I remember that, my love."


Husband:
"Well, I'm in the bar next to that shop."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROBBIE53 12/30/2011 3:07PM

    He's in trouble now!

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THAIBEAUKITTY 12/30/2011 1:12PM

    Ohhhhhhh. That's bad. Hee! Hee!

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CORNERKICK 12/30/2011 2:54AM

  That is so not right!

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INFLATED 12/30/2011 2:41AM

    He's in hot water now!

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JANIEWWJD 12/30/2011 12:54AM

    Oh, Oh, dead husband!!! LOL!!!!
emoticon

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THETURTLEBEAR 12/29/2011 3:04PM

    emoticon

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VENISEW1 12/29/2011 2:24PM

    I see a necklace in her future emoticon

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JUDY1676 12/29/2011 11:24AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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YELLOWDAHLIA 12/29/2011 11:02AM

    I love it!!!!

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SENATOR9 12/29/2011 10:42AM

    Well he told her was

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IDLETYME 12/29/2011 10:30AM

    He is in trouble.......wow! emoticon emoticon

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CLIMBERS_ROCK 12/29/2011 10:24AM

    LOL. Where do you find all these wonderful jokes? I look forward to them every day.

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1CRAZYDOG 12/29/2011 10:05AM

  Oh boy . . . he would SOOOOO be buying me that necklace! LOL

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A Cow, An Ant, and An Old Fart

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

A Cow, an Ant and an Old Fart are debating on who is the greatest of the three of them.

The Cow: I give 50 litres of milk every day and that's why I am the greatest!

The Ant: I work day and night, summer and winter, I can carry 52 times my own weight and that's why I am the greatest!




Why are you scrolling down? It's your turn to say something...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROBBIE53 1/1/2012 8:47AM

    You got me! LOL

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SHARJOPAUL 12/29/2011 9:29AM

    LOL

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TAGSUIT2 12/29/2011 9:16AM

    That's a Gotcha joke!!!! hahahahaha

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1CRAZYDOG 12/29/2011 8:40AM

  Awwww . . . wasn't ready for THAT one! LOL

Hope you have a wonderful Thursday Time flies when you're having fun, right!

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INFLATED 12/29/2011 2:25AM

    Whoopee! Only Whoopee cushions sound like....

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MERRYMARY42 12/28/2011 9:06PM

    still scrolling emoticon

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JKURJACK1944 12/28/2011 4:57PM

    emoticon

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BUTEAFULL 12/28/2011 4:57PM

    got me

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MAMAWLINDALOU 12/28/2011 4:23PM

    emoticon

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CLIMBERS_ROCK 12/28/2011 3:04PM

    Love it. Thanks for the laugh.

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SENATOR9 12/28/2011 12:27PM

    emoticon

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PATRICIAANN46 12/28/2011 11:46AM

  You GOT me!!! emoticon

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JUDY1676 12/28/2011 11:46AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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IDLETYME 12/28/2011 11:36AM

    That was a surprise!!!!! emoticon

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LVMAMAW 12/28/2011 11:02AM

    emoticon

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ALICIA214 12/28/2011 11:01AM

 

Good One

Happy New Year. emoticon

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Always Ask Never Assume

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

News photographer quickly used a cell phone to call the local airport to charter a flight.


He was told a twin-engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport.

Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming up outside a hangar.

He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door shut, and shouted, 'Let's go'.

The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind and took off..

Once in the air, the photographer instructed the pilot, 'Fly over the valley and make low passes so I can take pictures of the fires on the hillsides.'

'Why?' asked the pilot.

'Because I'm a photographer for CNN' , he responded,

'and I need to get some close up shots.'

The pilot was strangely silent for a moment, finally he stammered, 'So, what you're telling me, is . . .. You're NOT my flight instructor?'



"Life is short.
Drink the good wine first"




  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROBBIE53 1/1/2012 8:49AM

    emoticon

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CORNERKICK 12/29/2011 1:45AM

  Yikes!

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GRANDMACOO 12/28/2011 11:01AM

    It's good to start the day off with a good laugh

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JKURJACK1944 12/28/2011 8:38AM

    emoticon

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INFLATED 12/28/2011 3:39AM

    Aye yi yi!

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JANIEWWJD 12/28/2011 2:59AM

    You know what happens when you assume: You make an ### of you and me! LOL!!!!!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MERRYMARY42 12/27/2011 3:38PM

    Yep very good idea, question everything, love it

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ANNIE924 12/27/2011 3:20PM

    Very funny, that's what he get's for assuming! emoticon

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GRANDMA1951 12/27/2011 3:20PM

    Kind of makes your day!!!

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IDLETYME 12/27/2011 12:20PM

    Oops! emoticon emoticon

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SENATOR9 12/27/2011 12:16PM

    another good one emoticon

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JUDY1676 12/27/2011 11:50AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 12/27/2011 11:26AM

  Too funny!!

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SPARKCHANTAL 12/27/2011 11:22AM

    oh i love this.

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