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Southern Humor

Thursday, August 04, 2011


A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for
the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under
the weight of an eight-point buck.
"Where's Henry?" the others asked.
"Henry had a stroke o' some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the
trail," the successful hunter replied.
"You left Henry layin' out there and carried the deer back?" they
"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one's gonna steal


The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an
invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, "Y'all graduated from
the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew
$20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everthang but my


A senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying ... "When the end of
the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana .."
When asked why, he replied, "I'd rather be in Louisiana 'cause
happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the world."


The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to
buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking
Bubba replied, "Did y'all see who it was?"
The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."

North Carolina

A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the
road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and
one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.
A passerby studied the scene as he drove by, and was so curious he
around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.
The man replied, "I got a flat tahr."
The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"
The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in
front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither."


A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper
asked, "Got any ID?"
The driver replied, "Bout whut?"


The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his
into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the
ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head."
"Yep," he replied. "That's why I'm dumpin' it here, 'cause it says:
'Fine For Dumping Garbage.' "

Y'all kin say whut y'all want 'about the South, but y'all never heard o'
nobody retirin' an' movin' North.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IDLETYME 8/4/2011 3:39PM

    Those are hilarious. Thanks for brightening my day!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MERRYMARY42 8/4/2011 2:20PM

    I saw southern humor, and beings my husband is originally from Tennessee, I had to check it out. yep, Tennessee was included. Enjoyed, Thanks

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1CRAZYDOG 8/4/2011 2:06PM


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Older Couple

Wednesday, August 03, 2011

An old woman and old man, married many years, were sitting on the patio sipping wine. The old woman said, "I love you so much. I don't know how I survived without you." The old man said, "Is that you talking or the wine talking." The old woman said, "It's me, talking to the wine."

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IDLETYME 8/3/2011 1:27PM

    Funny emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HELEN_BRU 8/3/2011 11:12AM

    Good one!

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SANDRAFIVE 8/3/2011 10:54AM

    I liked that. emoticon

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CHANGEISGOOD 8/3/2011 10:09AM

    That is FUNNY!!! Thanks for the smile!!!

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Doctor's Visit

Tuesday, August 02, 2011

After his exam, the doctor asked the elderly man: "You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns you would like to ask me about ?"

"In fact, I do." said the old man. "After I have sex with my wife, I am
usually cold and chilly, and then, after I have sex with her the second
time, I am usually hot and sweaty."

Later, after examining his elderly wife, the doctor said: "Everything appears to be fine."

"Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me ?"

She replied that she had no questions or concerns. The doctor then said to her: "Your husband had an unusual concern. He claims that he is usually cold and chilly after having sex with you the first time, and then hot and sweaty after the second time. Do you know why ?"

"Oh that crazy old fart." she replied. "That's because the first time is usually in January and the second time is in August."

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HELEN_BRU 8/2/2011 4:25PM

    Oh, that'll do it!! lol

Thanks for the laugh today!


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    HA HA HA!

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IDLETYME 8/2/2011 12:34PM

    Great! Really cute!!! Thanks for sharing! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 8/2/2011 11:35AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon Who woulda think it!

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MERRYMARY42 8/2/2011 11:22AM

    Oh Yeah, makes all kinds of sense emoticon

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Italian Grandparents

Monday, August 01, 2011


An Italian grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife. "You comma to de front door of the apartmenta. I am inna apartmenta 301 There issa bigga panel at the front door. With you elbow , pusha button 301.

I will buzza you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with you elbow , pusha 3. When you get out, I'mma on the left. With you elbow , hit my doorbell." "Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow? ........

"What . . . .. .. You coming empty handed?"



Why Italian Fathers and Grandfathers pass their handguns down through the family.

An old Italian man is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated .38 revolver so you will always remember me."

"But grandpa, I really don't like guns. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"

"You lissina me, boy. Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos. "

"Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man. "Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, "times up'?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROBBIE53 8/1/2011 7:49PM

    Thanks for the laugh. A good way to end the day.

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MERRYMARY42 8/1/2011 6:55PM

    As you know, I always get a chuckle from you, Thanks

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MERRYMARY42 8/1/2011 6:55PM

    As you know, I always get a chuckle from you, Thanks

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JENNYLENNON 8/1/2011 5:45PM

    I have italian grandparents.....too funny!

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HELEN_BRU 8/1/2011 5:22PM

    They are both so good, can't stop laughing!

Thanks for the chuckles!

Helen (hugs)

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IDLETYME 8/1/2011 12:28PM

    Thank you for starting my day with a smile emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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RORYLYONS 8/1/2011 12:11PM

    These are hilarious..thanks for the belly laugh early in the morning.. emoticon emoticon

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Eat Chocolate?

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Eat Chocolate?

A good piece of chocolate has about 200 calories. As I enjoy 2 servings per night and a few more on weekends, I consume about 3,500 calories of chocolate in a week, which equals one pound of weight per week.

Therefore, in the last 3-1/2 years, I have had chocolate caloric intake of about 180 pounds, and I only weigh 165 pounds.

So... without chocolate, I would have wasted away to nothing about 3 months ago! I owe my life to chocolate!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CORNERKICK 8/3/2011 1:07AM

  Chocolate is the best!

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IDLETYME 8/1/2011 9:58AM

    Hooray for your chocolate - we want you here!!! emoticon emoticon

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THETURTLEBEAR 7/31/2011 11:18PM

    Love the logic!

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ROBBIE53 7/31/2011 7:49PM

    I love chocolate!

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LAURIEANNIE1 7/31/2011 6:57PM

    I too owe my life to chocolate. I do not want to live without it. I will find a way to fit it in.

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TEDYBEAR2838 7/31/2011 6:15PM

    emoticon emoticon

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MAREANNIE 7/31/2011 6:06PM


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RETURNOFSARAH 7/31/2011 4:43PM

    Haha I love this!!


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