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GERIKRAGH's Recent Blog Entries

A Midget In Pain

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

A midget from Texas was experiencing constant pain in his crotch area. The midget went to the doctor and told him about his problem. The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look. The midget dropped his pants. The doctor stood him up onto the examining table, and started to examine him. The doctor put one finger under his left testicle and told the midget to turn his head and cough, the usual method to check for a hernia.

"Hmm..." mumbled the doctor, and as he put his finger under the right testicle, he asked the midget to cough again.

"Aha!" said the doctor, and reached for his surgical scissors. Snip-snip-snip-snip on the right side... then snip-snip-snip-snip on the left side. The midget was so scared he was afraid to look, but noted with amazement that the snipping did not hurt.

The doctor then told the midget to walk around the examining room to see if his testicles still hurt. The midget was absolutely delighted as he walked around and discovered his testicles were no longer aching.

The doctor said, "How does that feel now?"




The midget replied, "Perfect Doc, and I didn't even feel it. What did you do?"

The doctor replied "I cut two inches off the top of your cowboy boots."


  
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MISSDAISY23 7/22/2014 11:45PM

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JANIEWWJD 7/22/2014 11:02PM

    Halirious!!!! emoticon

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SILVER1369 7/22/2014 6:36PM

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JUDY1676 7/22/2014 5:15PM

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68ANNE 7/22/2014 4:54PM

    This is awesome

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MARGEMF 7/22/2014 4:32PM

    Thank you for my daily dose. emoticon

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TWEETYKC00 7/22/2014 4:27PM

    OMG! lol

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KOFFEENUT 7/22/2014 4:04PM

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REGINAROLLINS 7/22/2014 3:36PM

  How funny is that- thanks for the HUGE laugh!!!!!!

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JTREMBATH 7/22/2014 3:23PM

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OVERACTIVEELBOW 7/22/2014 3:09PM

    Loved it!!
Thanks for the Laugh out Loud !

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NEW-CAZ 7/22/2014 3:07PM

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Run!

Sunday, July 20, 2014

Thank you margemf:

A guy was walking along the street when he saw a crowd of people running towards him. He stopped one of the runners and asked: “What’s happening?” The runner replied breathlessly: “A lion has escaped from the zoo.” “Oh my, which way is it heading?” “Well you don’t think we are chasing it, do you?”



Being Grateful For What You Have In The Present
Use your eyes as if tomorrow you would be struck blind: Hear the music of voices, the song of a bird, as if you would be struck deaf. Touch each object as if tomorrow your sense of touch would fail-smell perfume of flowers, taste with relish each morsel as if tomorrow you could never smell or taste again.

Helen Keller

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JANIEWWJD 7/21/2014 12:03AM

    Thank you!!! Loved your blog!!! emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 7/20/2014 9:23PM

    What awesome advice!

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OVERACTIVEELBOW 7/20/2014 8:57PM

    emoticon for sharing

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IDLETYME 7/20/2014 8:15PM

    Very good advice! Appreciate all that you have! emoticon

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JUDY1676 7/20/2014 2:38PM

    emoticon the first

emoticon the second

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TWEETYKC00 7/20/2014 1:43PM

    love it

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NEW-CAZ 7/20/2014 1:20PM

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SILVER1369 7/20/2014 1:17PM

    I love Helen Keller! emoticon

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ASRMOM 7/20/2014 1:13PM

    cute!

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MARGEMF 7/20/2014 12:51PM

    You are welcome. emoticon

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The Baptist White Lie Cake

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Alice Grayson was to bake a cake for the Baptist Church Ladies' Group in Tuscaloosa,

but forgot to do it until the last minute.

She remembered it the morning of the bake sale and after rummaging through cabinets, found an angel food cake mix & quickly made it while drying her hair, dressing, and helping her son pack for scout camp.



When she took the cake from the oven, the center had dropped flat and the cake was horribly disfigured and she exclaimed,

"Oh dear, there is not time to bake another cake!"



So, being inventive, she looked around the house for something to build up the center of the cake.

She found it in the bathroom - a roll of toilet Paper. She plunked it in and then covered it with icing.



Not only did the finished product look beautiful, it looked perfect!



And, before she left the house to drop the cake by the church and head for work, Alice woke her daughter and gave her some money and specific instructions to be at the bake sale the moment it opened at 9:30 and to buy the cake and bring it home.



When the daughter arrived at the sale, she found the attractive, perfect cake had already been sold!






Amanda grabbed her cell phone and called her mom.






Alice was horrified-she was beside herself! Everyone would know! What would they think? She would be ostracized,talked about, ridiculed!






All night, Alice lay awake in bed thinking about people pointing fingers at her

And talking about her behind her back.






The next day, Alice promised herself she would try not to think about the cake, and would attend the fancy luncheon/bridal shower at the home of a fellow church member and try to have a good time.



She did not really want to attend because the hostess was a snob who more than once had looked down her nose at the fact that Alice was a single parent and not from the founding families of Tuscaloosa, but having already RSVP'd, she couldn't think of a believable excuse to stay home.



The meal was elegant, the company was definitely upper crust old south, and to Alice's horror, the cake in question was presented for dessert!



Alice felt the blood drain from her body when she saw the cake!

She started out of her chair to tell the hostess all about it, but before she could get to her feet, the Mayor's wife said, "what a beautiful cake!"



Alice , still stunned, sat back in her chair when she heard the hostess

(who was a prominent church member) say,



"Thank you, I baked it myself."





Alice smiled and thought

to herself,





"God is good

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SILVER1369 7/17/2014 10:44AM

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    Served her right!!! Thanks for the laugh!!! emoticon

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OVERACTIVEELBOW 7/16/2014 7:41PM

    Thanks for the chuckle.

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TWEETYKC00 7/16/2014 4:33PM

    lol

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CHANGEISGOOD 7/16/2014 4:07PM

    Too funny!!!
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IDLETYME 7/16/2014 4:03PM

    She must be a good lady - God was looking after her! emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 7/16/2014 3:04PM

    Ah yes. I'd seen this one before and forgot that ending! HA! Take THAT snobby lady! emoticon

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    Thank yu for my daily dose. emoticon

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Go To School

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!"

"But why, Mom? I don't want to go."

"Give me two reasons why you don't want to go."

"Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!"

"Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready."

"Give me two reasons why I should go to school."

"Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the Principal!"



QUOTE: Success, Emerson
"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a little better; whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is the meaning of success."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JANIEWWJD 7/16/2014 12:43AM

    Loved it!!!

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MARGEMF 7/15/2014 10:16AM

    Thank-you for my daily dose, emoticon . The quote is one of my favorites. emoticon

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OVERACTIVEELBOW 7/15/2014 9:54AM

    Thanks for the chuckle,,, I can always use a chuckle.
and for the quote... maybe my life has been a success.
Hugs, Audra

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TWEETYKC00 7/15/2014 9:53AM

    love it!

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Monkey Business

Wednesday, July 02, 2014



This is the funniest video. I want to see the monkey do the same thing in one year!


https://www.youtube.com/embed/fPXkUXXFoCw

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARGEMF 7/15/2014 10:26AM

    That is one feisty chimp! emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 7/2/2014 9:05PM

    emoticon too funny!!!

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AJDOVER1 7/2/2014 5:09PM

    That's great! I'm sharing that link -- thanks!

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