GERIKRAGH   188,154
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GERIKRAGH's Recent Blog Entries

Missing Wife?

Thursday, September 18, 2014

A husband went to police station to report his missing wife:
Husband : I’ve lost my wife, she went shopping yesterday and has still not come home.
Sergeant : What is her height ?
Husband : Oh, 5 something . . .
Sergeant : Build?
Husband : Not slim, not really fat.
Sergeant : Color of eyes?
Husband : Never noticed.
Sergeant : Color of hair?
Husband : Changes according to season.
Sergeant : What was she wearing?
Husband : Dress/suit/blue jeans -- I don’t remember exactly.
Sergeant : Did she go in a car?
Husband : yes.
Sergeant : What kind of car was it?
Husband : 2015 Corvette Stingray 3LT with the Z51 Performance Package, shark gray metallic paint, with the 6.2 litre V8 engine with Direct Injection generating 460 HP. 8-speed paddle-shift automatic transmission, and GT bucket seats, and has a very thin scratch on the front left door.……………. at this point the husband started crying...
Sergeant : Don't worry sir.......We’ll find your car.

















T

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NEW-CAZ 9/21/2014 12:17PM

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SOMEDAYISHERE1 9/20/2014 11:47AM

    Thanks for the chuckle to start my day. emoticon

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JANIEWWJD 9/18/2014 11:28PM

    Awwwww!!!! Hope they find the wife instead!!!! LOL!!! emoticon

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OVERACTIVEELBOW 9/18/2014 4:19PM

    A joke that would be way too sad if it were a true story.. But wait a minute... I know people like that... their "TOYS" are more important that the people in their lives... So Sad..

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KOFFEENUT 9/18/2014 3:03PM

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1CRAZYDOG 9/18/2014 2:21PM

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JUDY1676 9/18/2014 11:39AM

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MARGEMF 9/18/2014 10:24AM

    Thank-you for my daily dose. emoticon

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Three Old Ladies

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Thank you margemf:




Three old ladies are sitting in a diner, chatting about various things. One lady says, "You know, I'm getting really forgetful. This morning, I was standing at the top of the stairs, and I couldn't remember whether I had just come up or was about to go down." The second lady says, "You think that's bad? The other day, I was sitting on the edge of my bed, and I couldn't remember whether I was going to bed or had just waken up!" The third lady smiles smugly. "Well, my memory's just as good as it's always been, knock on wood." She raps the table. With a startled look on her face, she asks, "Who's there?!"

>



Attitude
Attitude is what you do when the coach, parent, teacher or any supervisors are not looking.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FERRETLOVER1 9/18/2014 7:23AM

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OVERACTIVEELBOW 9/17/2014 3:21PM

    Thanks for sharing

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MARGEMF 9/17/2014 2:32PM

    My pleasurw Geri. emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 9/17/2014 11:30AM

    LOL! Exactly!!

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JUDY1676 9/17/2014 11:21AM

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No Gators

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Thank you margemf:



While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, "Are there any gators around here?"

"Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!"

Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore.

About halfway there he asked the guy, "How'd you get rid of the gators?"

"We didn't do nothing,'" the beachcomber said.

"Wow," said the tourist.

The beachcomber added, "The sharks got 'em."



The Tip of The Day

Fears
If you want to learn more about a person, ask them what scares them the most. What was the scariest movie they saw or what book gives them the shivers? You probably find that what a person saw as a child affects them still today. Some people I know will not go swimming in the ocean because they saw Jaws the Movie when they were children. Knowing another’s fear will give you a better insight into that person.





  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JANIEWWJD 9/11/2014 9:39PM

    Poor guy!!!! emoticon

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MARGEMF 9/11/2014 9:12PM

    Glad you liked it. emoticon

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JUDY1676 9/11/2014 8:26PM

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-WRKNG2ABTTRME- 9/11/2014 8:23PM

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1CRAZYDOG 9/11/2014 5:22PM

    Too true!

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OVERACTIVEELBOW 9/11/2014 4:16PM

    Good Chuckle, as long as I am not the 'swimming' tourist...

Interesting thought... asking the question greatest fear.

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SISTERGOOSE 9/11/2014 4:14PM

    Well said!

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Police Station

Wednesday, September 10, 2014


A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.

"You'll get your chance in court," said the Desk Sergeant.

"No, no, no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"



The Tip of The Day


Your bones
Munch on carrots, the potassium and magnesium in it will strengthen your bones.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FERRETLOVER1 9/11/2014 7:12AM

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JANIEWWJD 9/11/2014 12:01AM

    So funny!!!! emoticon

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MARGEMF 9/10/2014 10:40PM

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OVERACTIVEELBOW 9/10/2014 4:25PM

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JUDY1676 9/10/2014 4:15PM

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And a good tip!

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SISTERGOOSE 9/10/2014 2:31PM

    Ha Ha Ha! I just went and got a handful of baby carrots to munch on...inspired by you!
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1CRAZYDOG 9/10/2014 1:49PM

    LOVE carrots!

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Complete vs. Finished.

Monday, September 08, 2014

Thank you margemf:


People say that there is no difference between ‘finished’ and ‘complete’.



I say there is.....

Marry the right person, and you’re ‘complete’

Marry the wrong person, and you’re ‘finished."'



Persevere
Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance.

- Samuel Johnson

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JANIEWWJD 9/9/2014 12:45AM

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MYAKAYAH 9/9/2014 12:13AM

    I agree completely :)~

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JUDY1676 9/8/2014 11:17PM

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MARGEMF 9/8/2014 10:41PM

    You are welcome Geri! emoticon

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OVERACTIVEELBOW 9/8/2014 8:31PM

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-WRKNG2ABTTRME- 9/8/2014 8:08PM

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SISTERGOOSE 9/8/2014 3:15PM

    It's unanimous! emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 9/8/2014 1:16PM

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KOFFEENUT 9/8/2014 1:04PM

    WAY too much truth in that one!!!
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