GEORGIADEB   6,470
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The long road back to Spark......

Thursday, September 01, 2011

It is so good to be back on Spark and back on the path to a healthier, fitter, leaner me. It has been a rough year for my family. Almost lost my father-in-love in April. This is the only man that has ever been a father to me. Spent many months helping to nurse him back to health and now that he has made a full (and miraculous recovery), I knew it was time to refocus on myself. I lost my way, so I had to find the road back.......

I had been a previous member of Spark for several years under the name Sweetpea0214. I thought I was doing everything right - exercising faithfully, eating right, tracking, sparking daily and was even a Spark People Motivator and Team Leader. But then one day last August, I just woke up and felt so overwhelmed by it all. I was trying to be everything to everyone both on Spark and in my personal and professional life that I didn’t have anything left for just me. I lost interest in sparking, in my friends, in myself. Oh, I sparked on for a few more months, sporadically, making excuses, just hanging out in the fringes of spark. And then I just quit coming back at all. I quit participating in my team challenges; minor injuries that I used to work through (a broken toe, back pain, shoulder tear), I let become an excuse for not working out for a few days, that eventually become a few weeks, then a few months went by and before I knew it, all the hard work and muscle that I had gained, became fat again. And that one piece of candy that I let myself eat, eventually become a whole bag (and I’m talking full-sized bag) and before I knew it, the 20 lbs I had lost, became only 10. And when I stepped on the scale and saw that the number had crept up dangerously close to 150 again, the spark bulb went back off in my head.

I realized that I can not complete this journey on my own. It is a fact that those that have support lose weight and keep it off more than those that try to lose it on their own. I know that if I have others to help motivate me and inspire me from their own stories, that if I get a swift kick in the butt when I slack and an “atta-girl” when I achieve a goal, that I will be more motivated to stay the course. So armed with that realization and knowledge, I rejoined Spark on August 2nd full of renewed energy, determination and willpower. And I shed my old self (sweetpea0214) and created the new me (GeorgiaDeb). I wanted a fresh start, a clean slate, taking a different route this time.

My first goal was small - lose 3 lbs in August. Track my food, eat 1300-1500 calories a day and complete Phase 1 of Chalean Extreme. Most of these goals were accomplished with the exception of the weight that I lost. It wasn’t 3 lbs., but it was 2.5 lbs. For me that was the single most weight I have lost in one month in a long time. I am MOST pleased.

One other goal I put in place was to give up my beloved candy. I love candy. I love the sweet of it, the chewy of it; I love it for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks. But I realized that the sugar was holding back my weight loss. I eat clean - mostly fruits, salads, lean meat, veggies. Wasn’t really losing any weight though. So I took the leap and told myself that if I was really going to do this - I had to give up this one last addiction that was holding me back. I am pleased to announce that I have been CANDY-FREE for 30 days now. At first I could have eaten my weight in it. The first three days were the hardest; but slowly, and with the help of my Shakeology Protein Shake, the cravings have subsided for candy and I can now walk into a convenience store - look at it and keep on walking. I haven’t given up all sugar mind you - I still like a teaspoon or two in my coffee, but I have given up the hard stuff (candy). Never have been one to eat cakes, cookies or pies and I am lactose intolerant so I don‘t eat ice cream, so those empty calories really don’t tempt me - but the candy does. So I’ll take it a day at a time and rejoice for the time I’ve been “clean”.

I have met new Spark Friends, I have rekindled friendships with old friends and I have joined a few new challenges to keep me on track. My goal is to be at my goal of 122 by my 50th birthday on February 14th, (5 ˝ months away).

I am so glad that I am going to finish this journey where I started it - on SparkPeople!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MINANCY 9/13/2011 7:05AM

    Keep up the good work, your plan is working!
Your swimsuit picture is a testament to that!
emoticon

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LYNNANN43 9/7/2011 10:52AM

    30 days candy free?!?! You are a total inspiration to me. Can't give up Mt Dew to save my soul.

So glad to have you back, Deb.

Wonder Twins... UNITE! emoticon

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ALLDAY 9/7/2011 10:34AM

    emoticon I am so glad that you made your way back to SP and that we ended up on a team together again! I feel that I'm going to get to know you MUCH better this time around!
I love that you set small, attainable goals for yourself. You didn't come back with these super high goals that would take FOREVER to meet. You set yourself up for success and you are doing it girl! Awesome!!


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JESJES 9/5/2011 12:43PM

    Welcome back to SP and congratulations on your 2.5 loss in August and quitting the candy. That takes strength! I'm excited to be on the same BLC17 team with you and getting to know you better.

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SKINNYSOON13 9/5/2011 11:29AM

    GREAT JOB on being Candy free for 30+ days! I think you are on JUST the team to help keep that spark ON FIRE and for the extra kick in the pants for days when it flickers :-) Glad you came back, and can't wait to get to know you better :-)

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SENATOR9 9/2/2011 6:56AM

    We all take detours at time for many reason,but you came back for yourself to feel better and that is great One day at a time my friend emoticon

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DAS92687 9/2/2011 6:07AM

    emoticon

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A size should be a size no matter what store you get it at!!!

Thursday, August 18, 2011

I know this is probably a blog you've seen before from any number of Spark Friends who are on the weight loss journey. Spent five hours total in two different stores trying on clothes and wanting to spit nails. Please tell me how I can go into a store - pull out 8 pair of jeans to try on in varying colors - same style - just different colors and not one of them fit exactly alike. I found one pair that I could actually buy. The other 7 (even though they were the same size - 8 short) were either 1) too long by varying degrees (some as long as 6" longer than the ones I bought) 2) too big (???) 3) so small that I would have had to lay on the floor, suck in my stomach and then try and zip them (and probably wouldn't have gotten back up) or 4) wouldn't even sit on my hips so I felt like I was constantly trying to pull my pants up (I can't do those jeans where you have to squish your stomach in them one way and your butt the other - I like mine to sit at the natural waist - not mom jeans, but just want some coverage).

So I walked out of that store with exactly one pair of jeans.

On to the next store - so I have big boobs right. I know I take a large t-shirt. I pulled on some shirts that were so tight I looked mashed; some were so loose that I looked huge. WTF!!! After trying on 22 shirts - 22 - I bought 3 - and one was a medium!!!!

Dresses - please tell me where the pretty little summery dresses have gone? I can't find not one. I have in my mind what I want and all I can find are these dark, shapeless dresses. When I do find a cute one - all that's left are 0/2 or 16/18/20. I found two dresses that I liked - got a large (again the boob thing), one was so tight I couldn't even get it over my boobs and the other one was so big I had to make sure it wasn't a plus size. Back to the rack - the dress that was a large that was too small they didn't have any bigger so no go on that one; the dress that was a large and was too big, I ended up buying in a medium.

Back to jeans - found three pair that I thought looked nice - not one ended up in my cart. I do not have a unibutt. I do not have a flat butt. I am italian - I have a pretty ample butt no matter how much working out I do. If a pair fit my butt, it's gapped in the waist. The other two made me look like I had a big blob of a unibutt. Geez Louise - how hard does this have to be.

Found a pair of size 8 red capri's - loved them - found a nice shirt to go with them - couldn't get them over my hips. Do you see the pattern????? Did not end up with any more pants, shorts or skirts.

Would you like to hear about the 9 bras and 2 sports bras I tried on? Really - a 36D should be a 36D in every bra maker in the world. I ended up with 2. The sports bra - I got one on that I thought I was going to have to yell for security to help me get off. I had to contort my body in ways I didn't think I could. I thought I dislocated my shoulder. I remember thinking how in the hell would I get this off after working out if my body was all sweaty? Of course, it may have slid right off then huh? I didn't even try the second one because frankly I just didn't have the energy :)

So five hours of shopping netted me 2 bras, one pair of jeans, 3 shirts, one dress and one very nice purse :)

I keep saying one day I'll be a uniform size 6, but the truth is, I'll probably still have the same problem; probably still be as frustrated as I was today. I will say the one thing I realized when I got home - for the first time in a long time, it wasn't the mirror that made me frustrated, it was the actual clothes. I know I am a work in progress and I am working hard. Results are slow, but they are there and I can see them. And even though I still don't see the person I know I can be, I can now look at myself and remember where I was, I know where I am going and I am looking good. In other words - I choose to look at the positive changes and not the flaws!!!


P.S. Y'all want a real laugh now - as I came back to read the comments there was a popup ad on the side for "butt lift jeans" LOL emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon. Oh God, I am still wiping the tears. I guess whatever makes the ads show up for something you are "interested in" took the words "butt" and "jeans" out of my blog. I am laughing so hard, I have a side stitch

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JSALERNO 8/19/2011 9:48AM

    I HATE THAT. I HAVE NO BUTT REALLY ITS SO FLAT (I'M ALSO ITALIAN) BUT I HAVE LARGE HIPS. IN ORDER FOR JEANS TO FIT MY HIPS THEY ARE USUALLY BAGGY ON MY BUTT. THE STORE NEXT DOOR TO US HERE AT THE PLAZA HAS ONLY SIZES 0,1,2 AND 3. I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT. I STILL HAVE NOT EVEN TRIED ON 1 ARTICLE OF CLOTHING THERE.

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MELLOMOUSE 8/18/2011 9:58PM

    I so agree, when you try on a size 16 in blue jeans and decide you want the same style in black and have to buy a 20 for the same fit something is wrong with the picture. I think it is a conspiracy to keep us down on ourselves or to falsely build us up, but shopping in and of itself is terrifying for those very reasons.

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IRMA46 8/18/2011 9:51PM

    I would love to have that problem, once you are a size 22 or larger you can't find any stores to shop at. If you do, they usually have out of fashion older folks styles. So you have to online shop at all the big girl places and the models aren't usually full figured. You make the purchase because it looks good on the model and hopefully will look good on you and to your surprise it doesn't fit right or doesn't fit at all, then you have to loose money on returning the clothes. I hate that.
I don't enjoy shopping because I can't ever find anything to wear, I usually have to buy a purse, perfume or some shoes.

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CORRIE1982 8/18/2011 9:44PM

    Oh my, you just described every shopping experience and I truly thought I was the only one! In addition to the issues above you mentioned I also have a large chest so buying shirts is the worst. If it fits in the waste its too tight in the boob area and if I buy to fit my boob area I look pregnant in the tummy! It's a never ending up hill battle sometimes. And bathing suits... Forget about it!!

Heres to one day having an easy shopping experience!! emoticon

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LAURA_RED 8/18/2011 9:42PM

    Amen Sister!!!! Everybody wonders why I hate to go shopping. I'll direct them to read your blog.

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