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For Everyone Who Responded To My Pain

Sunday, July 14, 2013

First, I have to tell you all that I had over 200 responses to my last two blogs: "In Memory of Trixie" and "So Much More Than A Diet." Although I began trying to answer each person who commented on these blogs individually, I soon found it impossible to keep up with the responses. Therefore, I decided to write this blog to tell everyone how absolutely wonderful you all are! All the things I stated in my "So Much More Than A Diet" blog were reinforced by your outpouring of compassion and support when I had to put my dog, Trixie, down after 15 years of memories with her. emoticon

I was so heartbroken that I was beyond tears. Several people sent me Rainbow Goodies and told me about the poem The Rainbow Bridge, where our dear pet companions play and romp - and wait for us to join them when our life is over. I had never heard about the Rainbow Bridge before and it gave me a feeling of peace when I read it. So many others expressed their empathy with kind words and thoughts - many of you knew what I was going through because you had experienced the loss of a beloved pet, or had to make that terrible decision to take them out of the pain and suffering they were in. Reading all these responses, I started to understand that I wasn't alone. I had friends, and they understood what I was feeling. It really helped me get through those awful first few days when I was beside myself with sadness and, yes, guilt. Even though I knew keeping Trixie alive with drugs would be selfish and wrong, I felt like I had betrayed her. Even though I had been fighting to keep her alive since last November, I knew that all the drugs did was keep her breathing - but, in truth, she had no life any longer. I knew I released her but it hurt sooooooo much. emoticon

Many people, including my Vet, told me to go and get another doggie right away and not wait. I didn't think I could do that. I hung Trixie's collar and leash on the hook by the front door where her leash always hung. I kept looking at them hanging there and I would cry so, finally, after 4 days, I took them down and put them away in a cupboard in the garage. The house just seemed empty to me. I found myself looking at the spot where her bed used to be in the living room. There was a time she would jump up from her bed and come running to greet us when we came home from being out. Toward the end, we had to gently shake her to wake her up when we came home, because she couldn't hear us come when we came into the house.

This week, DH and I both felt the loneliness of walking into this empty house. I started looking at the dogs available for adoption at the local shelters. If I ever got another dog, I was going to get a shelter dog - one who needed a home and love. The first time I pulled up the dogs for adoption, I cried and had to get off the computer. I looked again the next day, and the day after that. Then today, 7 days after we kissed our sweet baby goodbye, we decided to go over to Pet Smart after church because they have adoptions there on Sundays. We weren't going to adopt a dog - we were just going to look. We walked over to the penned in area and this adorable little girl trotted over to us and stood on her rear legs to be picked up. I picked her up and - you guessed it. emoticon

Polly is now the newest member of our household. She is a darling Apple-Faced Chihuahua - 2 yrs. old - and a totally loveable little baby. I cried right in the Pet Smart when I picked her up. I was totally overwhelmed. Polly will not replace Trixie in my heart, but I have enough room in there for Polly to have her own special place right beside Trixie's.

Right now, Polly is laying down next to me as I sit in the recliner writing this. I think Trixie is looking down on us from the Rainbow Bridge and smiling that Puggy smile of hers. I believe she's happy that I have a new friend and companion to fill that empty hole in my heart that losing her left. Trixie will never be replaced or forgotten, but I can dry my tears now and give Polly the love she never had before. I'm so glad we were able to get Polly out of the shelter and into a loving home.

Thank you - each and every one of you for helping me get through the worst week I can remember in a long, long time Spark People are the BEST! I'll be posting photos of Polly soon!

emoticon from Trixie, Polly and Carol

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BEATLETOT 7/26/2013 11:21AM

    Hi there,

I am woefully behind on my Best of Spark Emails, so I just read the So Much More Than a Diet post followed by the others. My heart hurts for you, because I'm going through the exact same thing with my Sammy. I got him when he was already blind and deaf and 11, and seeing him deteriorate in pretty much exactly the same way you described has been heartbreaking. I've taken him to physical therapy, a woo woo doctor that gave him chiropractic treatments and acupuncture, and a neurologist. I have medicine for him that seems to help, but he's not in pain, so I keep him going. I figure, he's a dog, he has no dignity (he does unspeakable things with his bodily fluids!), so as long as he isn't in pain, sad, or scared, I'll keep doing this. But I'm not sure how much longer that will be.

Anyway, all this to say, I think he'll leave his body soon, too, like Trixie, and reading about how you found Polly and how soon gave me so much comfort and hope. I know that Sammy's going to pick my next dog for me, and I think Trixie helped picked yours for you. Bless you and your family.

I'm editing to also add that Polly is so sweet! I love, love, love chihuahuas, especially with her coloring. Congrats to you!

Comment edited on: 7/26/2013 11:23:40 AM

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LOVEXAVIE 7/18/2013 10:53AM

  What a loving tribute to Trixie!
There's a saying in our church: giving never impoverishes the giver. Meaning, you can only be blessed by giving.
I think by giving Polly a chance at a loving, kind home, you just honored the bond you had w/ Trixie.
Enjoy your new little girl and yep, I'm sure Trixie is happy for you both!

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SHEPHERDMOM 7/15/2013 6:26PM

  Congratulations on opening your heart once more. I am glad to "hear" that you adopted or were adopted by Polly. You both deserve happiness. I think Trixie led you to Polly, as my two fur babies led me back to the shelter to find my two "new" babies. We truly do have enough love in our hearts for them all!


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GABIBEAR 7/15/2013 2:37PM

    Carol, when I was reading your blog I couldn't help the flow of tears of both sadness at the pain you were and are going through at the loss of your baby, but also for the happiness you have found with Polly! I know all too well the feelings as we went through the same thing with the loss of our beloved Sweetie and the adoption of our rescue dog AllyBear! I am soooooo happy that you followed your heart and found Polly. She is definitely not a replacement in any way but rather a comfort and an addition! She needed you as much as you needed her and that is what makes it so beautiful!

I can't wait to see pictures of Polly! Blessings to the new member of your family!

emoticon emoticon

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ALEXIS1955 7/15/2013 1:35PM

  I read your blog and it has started my day off with a big smile. I am so happy Polly is the newest family member. New memories and lots of love for all of you. Have a wonderful week emoticon

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MARITIMER3 7/15/2013 11:04AM

    The love you have for Polly doesn't take anything away from your love for Trixie. Love just multiplies to fill all the empty spaces. Enjoy.
Hugs, Gail

Comment edited on: 7/15/2013 1:22:18 PM

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BRENDA_G50 7/15/2013 10:23AM

    I'm so glad that Polly found you. Trixie probably let her know that you have a kind heart and would be good to her and give her all the love she so desperately needed. emoticonNow all 3 of you can start mending your broken hearts. emoticon


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MARILYNROBERT 7/14/2013 11:57PM

    You did the right thing by keeping your heart open and now you have Polly. We won't forget Trixie but we welcome Polly also. I can't wait to see pictures of Polly. I'm so happy for you. I know this doesn't lessen your heartache for Trixie but I also know that it can help your heart heal with time. emoticon

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BABYSMAMA12 7/14/2013 10:48PM

    Carol, I'm so happy that you found Polly! Does she look like my Baby? She is also a rescue and she picked us out!!! emoticon

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CIROHIO 7/14/2013 10:32PM

    Carol....I am so darn excited for you!!!!!! emoticon I know exactly all your feeling. I to said it would be a long time before I got another dog. I to said if I did get another dog it would be a rescue dog. Well it will be 1 month on 7/19 that Bosco went to doggie Heaven. emoticon emoticon It will be 2 weeks on Tues 7/16 that I saved Gingers life. I truly believe that God and my Bosco Boy picked her out and had made plans for me to meet her. Bosco will forever be in my heart and I so miss him. But I needed to move on before that horrible thing called depression hit me hard. So Happy with my Ginger girl she just melts my heart. I think that she is grateful to have a happy place to call her home. I need to get a few different pictures. She looks huge in my profile picture, but she really is smaller then that. She is a med. size gal.

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MEWHENRYSMAMA 7/14/2013 9:18PM

    I started to cry as I read your blog, as I so know what you are going through! And when I read you went to Pet Smart I knew what I was hoping I would read, and YES! You found are in no way replacing your Trixie! When I knew my first cat was seriously ill and eventually would pass away, the only way I could stand it was to think of another cat lonely and in need of a home and love and when it was time I would find that special one...and believe me, I did...just like you did! Enjoy your new wonderful Polly! I so look forward to pics of you and your new family member!
Love & Hugs to you, my friend!

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1CRAZYDOG 7/14/2013 9:14PM

    What a blessing that Polly, you and your DH found each other!!!! Wishing you much happiness.

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KELSEY54 7/14/2013 9:09PM

    Carol I am so sorry about the loss of Trixie. I am not sure how I missed that as I commented a short time ago on your blog that she was doing better. Please accept my condolences. I can't help but compare to what we went through about 13years ago with our little Lhasa Apso. We now have a little girl with a very grey face that is 11 years and I shutter to think what life will be like without her. I know that when we bring our new little companions into our life, they never replace what we lost but do fill a void and start a new love. Just be rest assured she is watching over you and is in a better place and not suffering. Hugs. Laura. emoticon

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SPARKYTHECAT 7/14/2013 9:07PM

    Congratulations to the newest member of your home. emoticon

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JENNJOHNSON2001 7/14/2013 9:02PM

  I understand your pain, having had to let go of my special dog Shadow. God bless you for opening your heart to Polly. You are both blessed!

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GBSLIM 7/14/2013 8:51PM

    Polly sounds adorable. Bless you for giving her a place to call home.

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COLOR-BLUE 7/14/2013 8:49PM


God knew the right time to give Polly to you. You both were adopted. You adopted Polly and in turn she adopted you!!! This is what I call a win, win situation!!!

I know that Trixie will never be replaced, but just as you said, you have enough love in that big ole heart of yours for Polly and Trixie. emoticon adopting a shelter dog!!! Polly has won your heart and you have won hers.

Be blessed,

- Nancy Jean -

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Monday, July 08, 2013

July 8th will always be a day I remember because today I lost my Pug, Trixie - my friend, my companion and my loyal doggie of 15 years. Sadly, I had to make the decision whether to let her continue with her pain or let her go. emoticon

Trixie was over 100 years old in dog years but she'll always be that 10 week old puppy I brought home in October 1998. Her once black muzzle was totally gray. Her springy gait had been replaced by an arthritic limp and legs that slid out from under her as she tried to negotiate her way to the door to go out. I can remember how excited she used to get when I put on her leash and said "out!" Now she couldn't get excited because she couldn't hear me when I called to her. She would be walking beside me toward the door and would walk into a wall or a piece of furniture. Many times she would fall onto the porch because she could no longer negotiate the small step down from the front door to the porch. Trixie was a dog who would wait for you to get home to go potty - even if you were gone for 12 hours. Never would she mess in the house. Now here she was unable to control her bowels and so foggy from doggie dementia that she didn't know what she had done. Trixie was almost blind; just about 100% deaf; had lost almost all her sense of smell and only got up from her dog bed to eat. She slept and ate and had no control over anything anymore. She was leading a life without any quality left in it, and she deserved better So, today, I made the hardest decision I ever had to make. My Vet, who is not one to take putting a dog to sleep lightly, told me I made the right decision - that it was the time to end her suffering and let her go.

I stayed with Trixie until they put the IV that would deliver the twilight sleep into her before that final injection. I kissed her and hugged her and left the room in tears. My husband stayed with her through the process and came out of the room with tears in his eyes, along with my Vet. We all hugged and I cried some more, and we left. My husband said Trixie fell into a deep sleep before the final injection was even given, He said she died so peacefully and so quickly, it was like she was waiting to be free of her struggles in this life. I will be getting her ashes in about a week and I think I will bury them in my garden. I have a ceramic Pug head with a hook next to my front door where Trixie's leash always hung. Her leash and collar are hanging there now as a memorial to my beloved little doggie who stood by me through thick and thin and, at times, when no one else was there for me. I think God has a place for these dear little angels and I know my little angel is there now. Rest in Peace, Trixie.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KATHLEEN320 7/19/2013 12:06PM

    I'm so sorry for your loss. I can tell that you loved your Trixie with all of your heart. My deepest sympathies.

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LOVEXAVIE 7/18/2013 10:47AM

  I, too, am behind and just read your Comm Highlight and was responding to cheer you on. Now I see that your beloved sweetie has transitioned that rainbow bridge.

Please know I send you a cyber hug and moreover, smile at the love you gave that dear little girl Trixie. Because of you, she had a wonderful life full of love. That's what all dogs deserve and sadly, way too few get. Your girl was lucky she had YOU!
Hopefully, you can take comfort in that.

All the best to you and yours.

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PATTISTAMPS 7/15/2013 1:28PM

    Oh no! I just read your "blog of the week" (I'm behind) and decided to look at your page and I see your sad news. I know how your heart is hurting, and I will send my tears with yours. I don't know if you have heard of or believe in the rainbow bridge, but it has brought me some comfort to think of it (google rainbow bridge) I don't think I would want to go to a heaven without my sweet Bizzy waiting for me.


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BRENDA_G50 7/15/2013 10:11AM

    I'm so sorry for your loss. I know what a hard decision that was to make because I had to make the same decision for my cat Tiger on May 6, 2013. He had a brain tumor and the vet said I was making the right decision because there was nothing more she could do for him. The meds worked for a little while, but then they stopped working and I had to finally accept that he would never get any better. He had just turned 6 years old in March. I got to stay with him while she gave him the shot that put him to sleep and afterwards got to pick him up and hold him for my final goodbye. It broke my heart. I wasn't able to stay while she gave him the shot that would stop his heart. It has been only 2 month ago and I miss him terribly. He was my fur-baby. At least I know that he went to Rainbow Bridge and is no longer in pain.


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SPARKYTHECAT 7/14/2013 9:05PM

    So sorry to hear. I had to do that last summer for my cat Snuggles. He was so old (20 in human years) and he had started to lose bodily functions so I made that same hard decision not to let him suffer any longer. My heart and prayers go out to you.

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KELSEY54 7/14/2013 8:57PM

    Oh Carol,I am so sorry. I am not sure where I have been that I missed this awful news. Please except my thoughts, prayers and hugs for what you have been through. Thinking of you! Hugs
Laura. emoticon

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EFFIEANNIE 7/13/2013 8:34AM

    Losing our pets is like losing a child. Our mastiff of 13 had to be put to sleep a few years a go. We now have another mastiff who I love very much. Our next dog will be a pug, since they are colored like our mastiffs have been. We are getting to old to handle the big dogs. emoticon

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SHEPHERDMOM 7/12/2013 6:54PM

  Thank you for adding me as your friend, we all need friends at times like these. I lost my two fur babies, German Shepherds, three years ago, one after the other, and it seems like yesterday. I still grieve for my girls. They were with me for twelve wonderful years and I think they will always be with me in spirit. I am so sorry for your loss.

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HZGLORY 7/12/2013 6:11PM

I am sorry for your lose of Trixie. She was a very cute dog & I bet also very lovable. My friend had a pug similar to Trixie and she was very sick (my friend) for several months of cancer and then she passed. But while she was going through the chemo she took she would lay on the couch most of the day and her pug would sense her health and he would not leave her side when laying down. He would climb up on the arm of the couch and try to lay on her arm or her head. He is a very loving and gentle dog that really comforted her and when she was put into hospice to move out of this life he was there at the hospice laying next to her all the time comforting her from pain. I loved that little dog because I could see how much he gave her. I am sure your little pug was just as loving and it was very hard to say goodbye. I agree with you that God must have a special place for such loving animals. Bless you during your time of grieving over Tixie, I saw my pup everywhere after she passed. I was sure she was standing there and then I would look away and look back and no Winnie. I think I was so used to her being with me everywhere that I had her memory slip into the moment until I realized it was just a memory. Hugs Susan

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CHARLIE754 7/12/2013 3:43PM

  I can truly relate to your pain at the loss of Trixie. Just today I started what could become the beginning of the end of my own companion Honey, She is the product of a genetic color experiment of a University in a neighboring state. She turned out to be an overall honey tan color, hence her name. We got her and her brother Rickey from a breeder when they were both just puppies, around 2000. Rickey is the usual border collie mix of colors. He has since turned quite nasty and even on 3 occasions out of the blue turned around and attacked me for absolutely no reason. Honey on the other hand is as sweet as her name implies and wouldn't hurt anybody or any other creature.

19 months ago my wife handed me separation papers with absolutely no advance warning. I was stunned and hurt, but 6 years as a retired engineer from the steel and aluminum industry, 82 acre horse farm hand with up to 17 horses and much other livestock, house husband, home school teacher and caretaker for 3 boys ranging from 4 (6 years ago) to 17 now, I was about ready to give it all up without a fight.

Honey and some "stuff" like bedroom furniture, car tools, my pickup truck, my clothes, and a dilapidated camper and 1993 Aerostar tow vehicle was all I took with me. She claimed the house, the farm, the stock, the equipment, the 84' by 132' indoor horse arena we built together with the help of a great Amish crew, and sole custody of the 3 remaining children which really hurt. The youngest has never even seen where I live. Thank heavens that 3 out of the remaining four adult children stay in close touch and visit often. Two out of four have families of their own.

Getting back to Honey, I live with her as my sole companion in a log cabin rental in the middle of several acres of mowed grass at the northern tip of Wayne National Forrest. The rent is unbelievably low so long as I maintain the building and grounds and pay the utilities, which are also fairly reasonable. I got to keep my 2 pensions and SS payments and she gets the kids SS payments. Honey and I walk 1.3 miles along the back country road just about every day. There are only 4 neighbors within a 1 mile radius. She still seems to be in reasonable health for a 13 year old, but she has just developed a cough just like a former close neighbor's dog which developed heart worms and is just about dead with them. I made an appointment for a complete physical and heart worm checkup for her just today for later this month. Waiting is going to be very hard. That long brisk walk every day is what keeps us both going especially me at 76 and with osteoarthritis and high blood pressure.

I agree with one of your bloggers who advised you not to wait too long to go find a rescue dog. That's the best way I know to fill the void that losing man's best friend inevitably leaves. I've lost five over the years myself and it's never easy.

Comment edited on: 7/12/2013 3:51:15 PM

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MOONGLOWSNANA 7/12/2013 1:32PM

  I am sorry for the loss of your furry friend and companion. The dog of my childhood was a Boston Bulldog also named Trixie. I was an only child and depended on my Trixie to be my friend and playmate. She too lived a long life and when she got old she had some sort of seizure disorder. While she was young and healthy though we made lots of memories. When she heard the doorbell ring she would scatter every throw rug in the living room racing to the door to bark and let them know she was on guard. She loved to play fetch and to be swung around while holding onto a towel with her teeth. My cat let me dress her in doll clothes and she would sleep in the baby buggy, while Trixie would only tolerate a hat for a short time, but we always had lots of fun. I know you will cherish the memories you made with your Trixie as much as I have through all the years. We will carry their little paw prints on our hearts forever.

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BASHELBY56 7/12/2013 10:25AM

    Your loss is so sad...I can definitely relate to it! I had to put my Shiba Inu, Gryff, to sleep last year and it was horrible. I couldn't get over the feeling that I was betraying his love and trust by putting him to sleep. It took me awhile to accept it truly was for his best. I still miss him, and think of him, and am so very grateful he was in my life. You too will eventually get beyond the pain of the loss to the joys of the memories. God Bless!

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SUGARBABY60 7/12/2013 7:50AM

    My sincere condolences on the loss of your Trixie. emoticon

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SUGARBABY60 7/12/2013 7:36AM

    So sorry for your loss but don't wait too long to adopt another rescue it really helps with the grieving process. Best wishes.

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NC_BEARKITTEN 7/11/2013 11:03PM

    I am so sorry for your loss. We had to put our 19 year old cat, Sophie, down on July 1. You definitely know when it is right to do it. Our Soph was dying, and I saved her some very uncomfortable days/hours. Hang in there. I am trying to do things to the house now while there is not a cat to be disturbed, however, I would rather have her back healthy in a minute. I know you made the right decision.

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GINA180847 7/11/2013 10:01PM

    Our heartfelt sympathies on the loss of your loved one. Last year when we lost two dogs (our old dog could not move or control anything anymore and our young fellow had an encounter with a wheel and the wheel won)I could not have written anything to you I was so full of sorrow and just wanted to not think about the love of animals at all. But then in the fall we went to Mexico and a little white ball of very dirty stinky fluff velcroed herself to us and we were in love again. Best move we ever made when we took her to a vet and she was cleaned up, given shots and vitamins. Even though she went through a major illness in the following 2 months and we fought to get her thru it the risk was worth it. Today she frisks around like a little pup and adores long walks though the 12 km. walk I took with her recently left her quivering for an hr. It was too much as she ran circles around us. In Mexico, my Spanish teacher begged me to look after her Rottweiler rescue fellow and guess what... love again. He has been a story all on his own with allergies, chronic bronchitis etc. Any way the point is you will feel great sorrow for a long time but your little Trixie is over the rainbow bridge with no pain, smelling great fields of fresh grass and hints of rabbits and squirrels and thinking of you. She will hope that you will love again and your warm heart will eventually find another like her but unique as all dogs are.

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TULIPVIC 7/11/2013 9:22PM

    So sorry for your loss. She will be in your heart forever, and you will be in hers too. You were blessed to have had each other for so long. Hope you feel better and cherish all the sweet memories as time goes on.

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LINDAT505050 7/11/2013 8:13PM

  I am so sorry for your loss. I love a pug and I know she brought you great joy and companionship. You will think about her every day and miss her so bad. It will take a long time for your pain and loneliness to ease off but it will get easier. I agree with your decision to bury her close to you in your garden. That is her home and she has a special place there.

Thinking of you as the days pass by.
Linda emoticon

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4KWALK 7/11/2013 6:51PM

I too know what it is like to have to make that most painful decision. It has been over 6 years since we had to put our very old Lab down but we could not allow the suffering any more.
Now that time is getting close again for our oldest dog now. Jackie is deaf, partially blind and arthritic. How long do I hang on to her. I don't know yet but I know it will be hard.

You have my sympathy too.

But please remember how blessed we are to be able to share our home and our lives with these very special four legged family members.

I am sorry for your hurting heart.

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PHOENIXNICKI 7/11/2013 3:53PM

    I am sure you know about the rainbow bridge. If not, here it is:

I lost my female in January this year, and reading your post brought me back to the pain. They stay with us forever.

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JOYCEBROWN 7/11/2013 3:43PM

    Like everyone who read your post and made comments, you affected me deeply and I am so sorry for your loss. Until last September we had 4 dogs--a fawn pug, a black pug, a Boston terrier, and a mixed-breed terrier. Both terriers were rescues. Sherman, our mixed-breed terrier was estimated to be approximately 3 years old when we rescued him almost ten years ago. He required a lot of work--he was not socialized and had been picked up off the street (we found out many years later during an emergency surgery that he had a bullet lodged in his stomach); needless to say he had a hard life. He twice attacked my then older dog, he was a hard one to potty train, and for the first few months he would growl at anyone who sat next to me. I recall thinking that he wasn't like a pair of shoes that didn't fit--he was ours and we couldn't return him. He turned out to be the most amazing dog. Following his emergency surgery in February 2012 he did amazingly well--they removed a very large tumor--basically resected his colon. He rebounded with reslience! The next six months he was the most loving and demonstrative dog--had been somewhat distant before. Suddenly on September 9, 2012, as my husband was preparing to feed all 4 dogs in the morning (with Sherman barking the loudest because he loved mealtimes), he just collapsed on the floor and stopped breathing. I did chest compressions on him for 10 minutes and finally had to concede that he was gone. To be honest, I am still raw about it today. About 1 week after he died and with constant crying bouts and despair, I heard Peter Gabriel's song, Salisbury Hill, on my workout CD and as I listened to the words, I felt a great release. The refrain, "Grab your things, I've come to take you home," made me realize that it was his time and he was no longer ours on this earth. I know he is waiting for us on the other side of the Rainbow Bridge. We and our remaining three dogs miss him intently but he taught us to much. Please accept my condolences, know that it will get better, and listen to the song. God bless.

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LANNA22 7/11/2013 1:20PM

  My deepest condolences on the loss of your dear little friend; your deep love for Trixie is evident, and there are tears in my eyes as I read your account. Two years ago I made the decision to put my 19-year old cat to sleep, as she was bravely fighting several different diseases, including cancer, in her little body. As you note, it is the hardest decision a pet-parent can make, but it is a selfless and loving decision. I still think of my kitty every day, but now there are more happy memories than tearful, sad ones. Prayers that you and your husband will find strength in each other and comfort in your memories of Trixie in the days ahead.

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JUSTDEEPEE 7/11/2013 12:53PM

  I am so very sorry for your loss.

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MARITIMER3 7/11/2013 12:21PM

    I read your blog about SP being so much more than a diet,and went to your Spark page to read more. I'm so sorry that you lost Trixie, but believe that you made the right decision. We lost our Westie, Heather, a couple of years ago from cancer. She was 15 also, and a wonderful little dog...we buried her ashes in our garden too. Like Trixie, she went to sleep very peacefully and then had no more pain.

You are so right about the people we meet here... they are real friends, even though we may never meet in person. I've added you as a friend, and that that, if you are accepting new friends, you will add me too.

Hugs, Gail

Comment edited on: 7/11/2013 12:23:15 PM

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MEWHENRYSMAMA 7/11/2013 12:19PM

    I so understand as I lost my dear Cocker rescue about two years ago, and in the same year our two dear cats, too! they were so wonderful and I miss them so much!
I do believe they are spirits on the other side...
Love & Hugs,
P.S. I had to "friend" you!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JOANNEO5 7/11/2013 12:17PM

    I am so very sorry! At this moment I am crying over your blog. It really hit home for me because I have a dachshund who is 11 years old and his health is going and I know I will also have to make a decision soon. My husband said that he's eating and going to the bathroom outside so let him be. I don't believe he's ready to go just yet and I'm sure I will know in my heart when that time comes. Peanut (dachsund) will find his own way to tell me if he doesn't go on his own. He cannot wait till I get home and then he's with me till we go to bed, and yes, he sleeps with me!

Again I am so very sorry - prayers go out to you and Trixie and I do believe that God has a special place for are best friends! She will always be with you.

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ALEXIS1955 7/11/2013 11:54AM

  I read your feature blog and really enjoyed it. I decided to click further to your page to find out you had to put Trixie to rest. We just lost our cat due to old age......she just fell asleep. It is hard for some people to understand that pets are a part of a family. It is a loss like any other and then we are able to move on. The wonderful memories of our time with them keep them alive in our hearts forever. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. emoticon for sharing.

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HUBCAP50 7/11/2013 11:51AM

  My heart goes out to you at this time. I know how painful it is to lose a very special friend like that. I had a Boston Terrier for 16 years which is unusual for Bostons, but one day my husband came home and somehow Willie had gooten hold of a plastic bag with a few crumbs in it. Unfortunately he could not get it off his head and it was too late by the time we found him,, but he was suffering like your Trixie, he had arthritis in his shoulder so bad that it twisted the shoulder out so he had trouble walking. But we did end up with some puppies from him. The only one that looked just like him stole my heart. But the landlord in our trailer court said we had to get rid of our dogs. Well my husband is a IET Nam vet and he is being treated for his DR said he could not make him get rid of them as they are theropy dogs. But unfortunately while we were fighting with him, we had sent Jenny to my daughters to be taken care of but while she was there she got out and was hit by a car and killed. So I lost both of my babies. I hope it will get better for you as time goes by, but she will always be in your heart as Willie and Jenny are in mine, HUGS

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CAT-IN-CJ 7/11/2013 11:42AM

    Your earlier post (So Much More Than A Diet) came up as a Featured Blog . . . and i stopped by to post a comment . . only to find that you finally had to make that hard decision.

My heart really goes out to you. Although you know it was the right thing to do, losing a faithful companion will leave a huge hole in your heart and life.

My little Yorkie (Bad Leroy Brown) is almost 8 and I can see him 'maturing' . . . and the thought of 'that day' is never far away. So we try to make the best of every day.

Hugs to you during this time. Love on your grandbabies . . . you can usually count on them for a big hug and a good belly laugh.

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MARILYNROBERT 7/11/2013 11:01AM

    Every step of the say, you did the right thing for Trixie. Every dog or even every human, should be as blessed as Trixie was, to have someone like you to look over them.

I know it'll be hard and she'll always be on your mind and in your heart. She could have had no better life than the one she had with you. emoticon

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GINGERVISTA 7/11/2013 11:00AM

    So sorry to hear the news of Trixie; had just read the blog that she was doing better, so glad I checked your SparkPage.
That is the most painful part of having pets, of course; knowing we'll outlive them. The only thing we can do, which you know, is enjoy them while they're part of our lives.
Big emoticon & may Trixie always have a special place in your heart.

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FIFIFRIZZLE 7/11/2013 11:00AM

    What a wonderful life your little animal companion had, all the love and care. She was a lucky little dog.

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IAMFAT4NOW 7/11/2013 10:54AM

    I am so very sorry for your loss. They really do become like our children, don't they. You made a very kind and wise decision on her behalf. You was lucky to have you in her life as well.

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MARYGOLD5 7/11/2013 9:19AM

    Sorry for your loss. emoticon

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MSGLOW 7/11/2013 8:51AM

    I'm so sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is you have lost a member of your family. i know in a couple of years i will probably have to do the same with my Yorkie who is nine this year. I hope i can be as strong as you are when i have to make the decision emoticon

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ELLE_B 7/11/2013 8:39AM

  I too have lost fur babies, one a year for the past two years, and I'm so sorry for the pain you're in right now. My deepest sympathy to you and your husband. emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 7/11/2013 8:08AM

    Awww, honey, my condolences. Our fur babies are so dependent on us to make the right choice for them and you clearly did. So sorry for the loss of your beloved Trixie.

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CIROHIO 7/11/2013 7:56AM

    Awe honey I just now read your blog. I am so very sorry to hear about your sweet Trixie! I know the pain! I lost my Bosco Boy 6/19/13 he died unexpectedly. He was 13.5 It's hard I lost my hubby it will be 3 years in Nov. I have no children. Johnny and Bosco were my life. I felt myself sinking into a very depressed state when Bosco died. I could not let that happen again for I pretty much given up on life when Johnny died, I fell apart and hit rock bottom. No one could pick me back up but me. It took me 2 years but I doing it. So I did not think I could do this but instead of let myself get to that place again, I decided to move forward. I found myself at the Dog Wardens and I met Ginger. She is a 2 year old lab mix that I rescued from a rotten life. Now I am spending my time teaching her to have fun and be happy! My heart aches everyday day for my Johnny and Bosco Boy but they are with each other and are happy.They would want me to move on and be happy. They will forever be in my heart. I will be praying for you that the pain eases. Just keep those memories close to your heart. emoticon

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KELLIE453 7/11/2013 7:35AM

    I am so very sorry for your loss, it is so hard to lose a pet that we love so very much. Just know that Trixie passed away knowing just how loved she was from the moment you got her till the moment she took her last many animals are that blessed? Hugs~Kelly

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SUNNYRUTH 7/11/2013 7:27AM

    I totally understand as I have a 13 year old Westie who's been through thick and thin with me. Dogs are such wonderful companions; you couldn't ask for a better friend.

My condolences. Thank you for sharing your story.

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LILDOLLY 7/11/2013 6:24AM

    We had to let our beloved Tessa go two weeks ago, she too was 15 years old. It was difficult but I know we made the right decision. You will never lose your memories or the love you shared with her. My sympathies for your loss.

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  My heart aches for you....Hugs...

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GABIBEAR 7/10/2013 12:15AM

    Carol, I am so sorry........ emoticon I have tears running down my cheek as I write this to you. I went through the same thing with my beloved Sweetie 2 years ago and I KNOW how hard it is to see your beloved puppy getting sicker and sicker and not having control of her functions any longer. What a beautiful picture of little Trixie. God just received another angel into heaven. I hope and pray that Trixie is playing with Sweetie up in heaven.

My love and prayers go out to you Carol...... emoticon I'm here if you need to talk to me......

emoticon emoticon

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FRAN0426 7/9/2013 10:40PM

    So sorry for the loss of Trixie. It sounds like she was a very wonderful companion. We lost our Sheltie this past Feb. and miss her so much after having her as our fur baby for 14 years. She passed at home with DH and I holding and petting her for an hour b/4 she passed, she let us know this was her time to leave in her own way.

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CHERIJ16 7/9/2013 10:23AM

    I am very sorry for your loss. We just went through this a month ago with our best friend Buddy who was 14. emoticon

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BARB4HEALTH 7/9/2013 9:51AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
I am sitting here with tears in my eyes. The loss of a pet can be a great emotional upheaval. Peace be unto you.

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BECKYSFRIEND 7/8/2013 9:36PM

    Sorry for your loss. She was a real sweet looking dog. You were so blessed to have her for 15 years.

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BABYSMAMA12 7/8/2013 9:36PM

    So sorry for your loss Carol. I know she was a wonderful dog and always there for you.
emoticon emoticon

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ZZYYGGY3 7/8/2013 7:10PM

    I am so sorry for your lost. I have gone through the same thing. emoticon

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SPERRIN2012 7/8/2013 7:08PM

    Sorry to hear of your loss. Trixie sounds like a pet of mine who passed about 8 years ago.

emoticon to my Chelsea as well.


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Blessings in Disguise

Thursday, June 27, 2013

There's an old saying, "You never miss the water 'til the well runs dry." I can attest to the truth of this because, while I did exercise, I never liked it much, or looked forward to it. Then I fell on my back and, over a period of time, I started having more and more lower back, leg and hip pain on my right side. I have almost no range of motion in my right hip and I can't get up and down off the floor without something to hold onto as I lower myself, and hold onto as I pull myself back up. About the only exercise I can get is a limited amount of walking. Things I used to take for granted: hiking; long shopping days with my friends; getting on my hands and knees to really scrub the kitchen floor - those are all thing of the past. Lately, you can find me picking up things on the floor with my "Grabber" and walking my little dog with my big old hiking stick as support for my aching back and leg. I would give anything to be able to walk on the treadmill or the track again - to go shopping without being near tears driving home because the pain is so bad. Yes, that old saying is very true - I miss terribly what I once looked at as a chore. emoticon

I have an appointment this weekend with a chiropractor who comes very highly recommended to me by someone I trust, and I am praying that I will be able to get back to "normal" with the right plan of recovery. I am always hopeful and I like to look at my glass as being "half full" - no matter what. So, I'm going to do what I have to do and if and when the day comes that I can go on a 3 mile hike again, I'm not going to look at it as a chore but, rather, as a blessing. emoticon

Let's never lose sight of those blessings in disguise that are ours - and that can be taken away in the blink of an eye. emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KELSEY54 6/28/2013 7:13AM

    I really hope you get relief from your appointment. It may not happen for a few appointments, so hang in there. One step at a time. Have a wonderful day! emoticon emoticon

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GABIBEAR 6/28/2013 12:07AM

    HI Carol,

I am so sorry that the pain in your back got so bad. My prayers and thoughts are with you and hope that the chiropractor you will see this weekend will help you greatly!

I always remember the blessings of exercise and will never take that for grated! Thanks for reminding me. Keep us posted on how you are feeling!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BABYSMAMA12 6/27/2013 10:30PM

    Carol, you will overcome this and be able to go on those hikes againn! It may take a while but it will happen. emoticon emoticon

emoticon emoticon

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GRAYLADY13 6/27/2013 8:43PM

    Very wonderful post. I appreciate everything you wrote. My situation is similar and I mourn being able to walk with ease. Let's stick to our goals and get better! emoticon

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Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

So Much More Then A Diet

Saturday, June 15, 2013

It's been a while since I wrote a Blog Entry but I felt the time was right to express some thoughts about my life as a Spark People member. Over the years I've been on Spark, I have made a lot of friends. I have seen people come and go and I, myself, have dropped off the radar for periods of time - depending on what was going on in my life. The thing that amazes me is that I always find my way back and, when I do, I make some new friends as well as reconnecting with some old friends. It has been a comfort to me to know there are all these wonderful people out there who share my happiness; my worry; my sadness; my pain and always know just what to say to support me and let me know I'm not alone. Recently I've been having some problems with my little dog's health and have been worried that I may, one day soon, be faced with making a decision regarding her life. She is very old - 15 years in real time and well over 100 according to my Vet. I wrote about my sadness and got so much support and so much comfort from my Spark Friends: these wonderful people who I have never met in person - and probably never will. Yet, they were there for me - even when people I see every day didn't really understand what I was feeling. As it turned out, my dog is doing much better and I am just going to enjoy her for as long as I have her.

My hope is that I have been there for my Spark Friends when they've needed that person to share with and find some support and comfort from. When I joined Spark People years ago, I thought I would get support on my diet and health goals and interact with people like myself who are dealing with weight issues. What I got was much, much more. Spark People are about health and nutrition, but they are also about "people" and all the things that shape us and make us who and what we are, and who and what we strive to be. I'm a Believer and I truly believe that the Lord led me to Spark People for more than just diet support. I am very thankful for this place where I can just be me and know that I will be accepted and never mocked or ridiculed. The weight loss I've had is like the cherry on top of the friendship sundae I've enjoyed here!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JONEC14333 8/26/2013 2:01PM

    I have to tell you I was thinking basically the same thing yesterday in the car. I shared my feelings about possibly losing my "dream job", and even though I didn't get any response, it felt good to blog about it. I couldn't do that on Facebook, it is not the place for that sort of thing. I felt that it was OK to dump on my SparkPeople blog, because, well, we ARE here to support one another. I didn't go for food for support, I came here. That kind of support is so important. Bless you for echoing my own feelings.

Comment edited on: 8/26/2013 2:05:25 PM

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LORNE67 7/27/2013 1:09PM

    I understand the feeling very well and welcome back!! My Ginger spent a rough winter not doing well. On May1st, she passed away. Only then did we discover that, she had a growth in her stomach and was what the cause of her difficulty breathing. We knew something was wrong but she would growl at us every time we tried to check it. emoticon

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ADGER87 7/25/2013 8:42AM

    Great post Genesis. Happy to hear your girl is doing better. emoticon

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JULNELS0N 7/21/2013 10:56PM

    Thanks for sharing. Pets do find a very special place in our hearts and it is hard to see them not doing well. Hang in there, and I'm glad you find such good support here.
emoticon Julie

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MARYANNCHARON 7/18/2013 9:41AM

  Our pets are like our children, we care for them and love them as family. My prayers are with you as you go through this struggle. Last winter my cat Allie, age 18 1/2 yrs was so ill and so weak, the vet needed to put her out of her misery. It broke my heart to watch her suffer, but I couldn't let her die in such agony. Then a few months ago, we lost another favorite ":child" Daisy, age 16, who had hyper thyroid for years got tumors in her mouth and was too ill to eat. Making these decisions was very difficult, but we needed to put our pets' comfort and quality of life first.
These are very hard times, but, we somehow get through them.
Your weight loss and your decision to stick to your plan are truly an inspiration to me. Whatever happens, please realize you have a support system of friends.

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KMRJPR 7/15/2013 2:50PM

    So sorry your little dog is sick. Thank you for sharing with all of us.

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PATTISTAMPS 7/15/2013 1:24PM

    You are so right... I have left and come back, and really do love my Spark Friends. We may never have met - and may never meet - but some of us are soul mates!

I lost my sweet little dog in January, and I can tell you it was one of the hardest losses of my life. She was my heart. My DH is not ready for another yet, but one day....

Hope you are having a great Spark day!

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KARENLEIGH32 7/14/2013 11:55PM

    I haven't been here quite a year yet, but I so agree with you about the people here. I have certainly met some 'Sparkly' people!

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MAYBER 7/14/2013 11:53PM

    thank you for sharing your thoughts
likewise have made SP friends that are wonderful
One day at a time

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LOGOULD 7/14/2013 7:56PM

    Just now read your post and you expressed my sentiments exactly. Maybe its the realization that alot of our issues with our weight/health stem from the way we react to life. Since we share so much in common, we understand one another better than many people who surround us on a day to day basis.

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JENNJOHNSON2001 7/14/2013 5:48PM

  Just saw your post... Enjoy your friend while you have her -- I recently lost my beloved dog. Someone said that the only fault of a dog is that they do not live as long as we do. I so agree. I'm just starting to get involved in the community -- nice to hear that someone who has been a member for a while speaks so highly of the support. Take care, and share how things are going!

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DFG5876 7/14/2013 3:22PM


I can relate on so many levels. I lost my Lab a couple of years ago, I too have a thyroid problem but we must keep going and one day we will reach our goals of many kinds. Keep up the great work.



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JOANNS4 7/14/2013 12:59PM

    emoticon emoticon

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SMAILEH 7/14/2013 12:08PM

  I'm glad to hear that your dog is doing better. And what you say about support in all aspects of your life is something I'm just beginning to realize. I joined in October and began getting serious about really joining in in February. There is a nurturing spirit in the SparkPeople community.

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LEANMEAN2 7/14/2013 7:08AM

    So many of us can relate to what you're going through.
Thanks for sharing.

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ELIZACG9 7/13/2013 9:19PM

    emoticon I can relate with the thyroid problem......beautiful words. emoticon

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JAZZII4 7/13/2013 4:52PM


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123IM4U2C 7/13/2013 1:56PM

  HI Genesis, 1st let me congratulate you on your dog getting better óż
I am fairly new here, and I'm just finding my way around, and trying to get
to know other members! My name is Lynda, and I have never had issues with my weight, and have always been fitness conscious, I modeled for fitness brochures when I was younger, That was then, and this is now! Four years ago I was involved in a robbery at Gunpoint! I won't go into the grisly details, but I will say I was alone, it happened at work, and I am a survivor! emoticon

It changed the life that I knew, and boy did it change me as a person! I always had a problem with body image that stemmed from my childhood, I just didn't and still don't see myself as others do! About three weeks after this robbery, I developed uncontrollable shaking, and I couldn't even go out the door it was that bad! I tried to ignore it and just thought it was my nerves! I started to lose weight, and went down to 103lbs down from 115! I got scared! emoticon

I had been seeing a Psychologist, and he suggested I see a Psychiatrist! The Psychiatrist said I needed blood work done before he would prescribe medication. I got the lab work done, and it was all good except for one thing...I had developed Thyroid, Hyperthyroid called ( Graves )disease! He referred me to and Endo for confirmation, and yes he concurred! emoticon

I was put on several kinds of meds, and three of them were responsible for weight gain. The three were beta blockers, anti depressants, and the med for my thyroid! I gained 15lbs in three months, but the Docs weren't concerned because they said some patients gain 40 lbs in a month! I went to work on losing it, and lost it all and went back to a 115lbs. I quit smoking after my boyfriend had a stroke, and now I have gained it back! It's not from eating, because the 1st thing I eat is after 12pm! Then my dinner! I have to work twice as hard to lose a pound because of my slow metabolism from my thyroid! I am allowed no diet supplements at all! It is so hard! I just turned 60yrs old in march of this year! I still workout, lift weights, walk, and do cardio, but nothing is changing! I am hoping that you may have some suggestions for speeding me up again, or maybe the other members will! perhaps someone is in the same position that I am! emoticon I would appreciate any, and all advice! I know it may not seem like much to some on spark, but for me it is! Thanks emoticon

Comment edited on: 7/13/2013 2:01:06 PM

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GEMLADYONE 7/13/2013 1:21PM

    Thanks for sharing what so many members feel about the community here at SP. it is much more supportive than one would imagine when first joining. emoticon

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CHERIJ16 7/12/2013 9:47PM

    You were able to say so eloquently what many of us feel. Spark People is more than I ever imagined it would be.
I feel your pain and hope your dog will be with you for many more years. My1st. dog, Cindy lived to be 20 years old and she survived being hit by a car at the age of 15!
In our house pets are part of the family and they have an important place in our hearts. It's nice to find others who share that belief. emoticon

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HZGLORY 7/12/2013 5:51PM

    I received you blog in my email and really enjoyed it. You are hitting the nail on the head. Spark people are so much more. I think it is the people aspect that make it what it is. I love all the friends I have make over the almost year I have been in spark and my hope is one day meeting some of them when I get out of state on a vacation. Lots of folks I know are from Canada and someday I hope to visit there and see some spark friends face to face! You Rock GENESIS2012 and my blessings on your pup, I had my dog pass from old age and I know how hard it is to lose their valued friendship. As you said enjoy while you can. Hugs Susan

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DAUGHTER9MOONS 7/12/2013 5:38PM


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NEWTINK 7/12/2013 4:40PM

    emoticon emoticon

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KLEMIE 7/12/2013 3:58PM

    So, so true! If you can't find support and friendship here, it's more than likely you don't want it. Keep up the great work.

emoticon emoticon

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ELIZABETH5268 7/12/2013 3:44PM

    This is so very true. The people on here and th bonds that we form are amazing as we go through our own weightloss/health journeys.

Thank you for sharing, I'm sure this will reach people and help them realize what kind of community is at their finger tips.

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LAINYC 7/12/2013 3:00PM


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ALIDOSHA 7/12/2013 2:43PM

    emoticon emoticon

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CURRAHEE68 7/12/2013 2:34PM


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MOONGLOWSNANA 7/12/2013 1:39PM

  We're part of one large community. If I can do any good in the world that is what I try to do. Once a Girl Scout always a Girl Scout. If you are also a part of Spark People it is easy to do a good deed daily. It takes a little time, but it means so much to not only the person who needs the support, but also to the one doing the giving. We are spreading kindness and sharing that with one another.

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CJSMILN 7/12/2013 12:13PM

  My very first dog ever was a darling Golden Triever which my husband gave me and I could hold in two hands. He grew, of course, and was the absolute best friend ever. We had him until he was about 15 years old. I still miss him to this day. But I remember the fun times, the silly things he did. So very glad your dog is doing better. I pray she will be with you for some time to come. cj

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CMCARTHURWEST 7/12/2013 12:07PM

  I have a 12 year old female lab. that has been given three to six months to live, but I'm still optimistic that her doctor is wrong. She is very verbal and tries to talk to us with a variety of barks. She's also very moody and so female, but our whole family loves her crazy ways. I wish you and your pup the best!

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MRSMEMOPAR 7/12/2013 11:10AM

  I have never answered anyone before but your blog touched my heart. I am just learning my way around this site and am a little computer challenged. I love reading all the articles and blogs, I too have a pet 14 yrs old and is slowing way down. I have to remind myself not to worry about the future and just enjoy each moment we have with each other, whether, family, pets or friends. Once a minute is spent you can't get it back. Love and God Bless to you emoticon

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LYNCHD05 7/12/2013 10:40AM

    How can you explain to people what an awesome site this is. You have said what most of us feel thanksformdoing that.

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MLDRLD 7/12/2013 10:34AM

    So wonderful to read that you have some extra time with your beloved dog. What a gift! I know that you are treasuring it. It really hurts to have to say "good-bye" to our loved and cherished pets, who are actually family.

Thank you for your wonderful blog about the support that you have received from the SparkPeople community and that takes place every day.

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VADERBEAR 7/12/2013 10:22AM

  What a touching and moving blog. I can so relate. Since my husband's passing I have learned what lonliness is. And those that you thought were your friends and support group moved on and you may occasionally be a fleeting thought to them but I found more support and help online then from people in my life. It is so sad when cyberspace is were you find your help and comfort and who you thought were your friends left you far behind. emoticon

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MSANITAL 7/12/2013 9:57AM

    Great Blog I could not say it any better about spark and spark people then you did
Enjoy your dog.. they are a gift that is for sure..
keep up the great work,

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GBSLIM 7/12/2013 9:47AM

    Thank you so much for putting into words what many of us feel but can not find the words to express.
Bless you for having the strength to end Trixie's suffering. I'm sorry for your pain.

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SPARKYTHECAT 7/12/2013 9:44AM

    That is awesome. I know what it is like to lose a pet family member and I am so glad you are going to enjoy her as long as you can. You are so right about Spark People. I am slowly seeing that it is more than support for diet and health.

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TPETRIE 7/12/2013 9:40AM

  emoticon emoticon Spark people is so supportive of all of the members. We have our own community of friends. Yet we don't know them personally but spiritually they are our family and friends.

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DIETER27 7/12/2013 9:31AM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon Loads of support and encouragement on this site.

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SIA1308 7/12/2013 9:27AM

  Be strong for yourself and for her! That is the best mind set! And just cherish it all!

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SPARKBJOK 7/12/2013 8:14AM


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AGGIETERR 7/12/2013 8:02AM

    So true. The genuine sincerity, unconditional support, and friendship I have found on SP is incredible.

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AZMOMXTWO 7/12/2013 7:43AM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SUGARBABY60 7/12/2013 7:30AM

    A really good blog, thanks for writing it. You hit on many of the points that keep us here on Spark people. Hope that you get to enjoy your darling pet for a long time yet.
We had to put our sweet LEMON down last Christmas( see photo with me) he had cancer, was a rescue we had for about five years. He was so loved. Now we foster dogs and this coming Sept will be working as a volunteer at our local animal shelter too.
Spark people is a very supportive place, been here three and a half years myself.

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CVRONEK 7/12/2013 7:18AM

    I totally agree with you and glad to hear that your little doggie is feeling better.

My Cocoa Bean lived to 17 and for a 30 pound dog, that was amazing.
So much a part of our families.

Hooray for Sparkpeople!

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PASSION59 7/12/2013 6:52AM

    What a very nice story, and it just serves to remind me, to allow all this support in helping me as well as many others, with their ups and downs, and struggles

Comment edited on: 7/12/2013 6:54:12 AM

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SHANNONY84 7/12/2013 6:10AM

    The great part about Sparkpeople is that they love everyone!

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SWNANNA34 7/12/2013 4:22AM

    Thanks for the words. I am new here and its good to here from people who are on the same journey I am on. emoticon

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JIBBIE49 7/12/2013 12:13AM

    Week of 07/11/2013 - Featured Blog Post

Why This is So Much More than a Diet

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For All My Wonderful Spark Friends!

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Yesterday, my DH and I experienced a miracle. A nodule that was seen by Pt-scan in my hubby's left lung was to be biopsied to see if it was cancer. That is scary enough but, in this case, DH is a 5 yr. lung cancer survivor. He also had a battle with cancer in some lymph nodes 2 years ago. So, just based on his history, we were concerned when the Pt-scan was ordered as a follow-up to a Ct-scan. A few days after the Pt-scan we received a call from his pulmonologist asking us to come into his office to go over the results of the scan. At that meeting, this doctor informed us that there were three areas of cancer showing on the scan and that in his experience this kind of cancer was terminal. We were sickened by this news, but we decided to keep praying and go on with our lives. I immediately contacted all my friends and relatives and requested that they pray for us. A couple of days later, DH got a call and a biopsy was scheduled for yesterday, Friday, November 9. We arrived at the hospital and after they got DH settled in the pre-op area, the doctor who does the biopsies came in to talk to us. He painted a rather different picture then the one the pulmonologist had painted for us. This doctor - who is a radiation oncologist - said that the three areas were not significant because they were "defused" - meaning they had no solidity or substance. He said an infection in your system can cause that to light up on a Pt-scan, as can various other things. What he said they were concerned about was "the nodule" they saw on the Pt-scan in the top lobe of his left lung. The doctor said it could be a benign nodule but with DH's history, they have to check to see if it is cancer. Needless to say, we were somewhat relieved because we had some hope now that we didn't have before. A short while later, DH was taken into the room for the procedure and I went and sat in the waiting room, reading a book. What I think was about 25 min. later, I felt a tap on my shoulder - I say 25 min. but it could have been 35-40 min. later because time was not even in my consciousness during this whole ordeal. I turned to see who was tapping me on the shoulder and it was my husband - standing there! I must have just looked at him in disbelief with my mouth open because people in the waiting room started laughing. He told me they put him on the CT machine and were getting ready to give him some anesthesia when the doctor told them to stop proceeding. The doctor looked up and said, "I can't do the biopsy because there is nothing there for me to stick the needle in to!" The nodule was gone!

For all my dear Spark Friends who were praying for us and who had their church congregations praying for us, I want to say 'THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!" DH and I believe this was a miracle. It was there - we saw the scan - and it was gone 2 weeks later! You hear about things like this but until it happens to you, you cannot know how it impacts you. I left that hospital in a state I can only describe as sleep-walking. I was in awe of the blessing we received. I have always believed in the power of prayer - even when the outcome is not what we would want - because we are heard and we are not abandoned - no matter what the outcome.

I read this work of Helen Steiner Rice this morning and I wanted to share it with my friends:

We Can't ....but God Can!

Why things happen as they do
We do not always know,
And we cannot always fathom
Why our spirits sink so low....
We flounder in our dark distress,
We are wavering and unstable,
But when we're most inadequate
The Lord God's always able...
For though we are incapable,
God's powerful and great,
And there's no darkness of the mind
That God can't penetrate...
And all that is required of us
Whenever things so wrong
Is to trust in God implicitly
With a faith that's deep and strong,
And while He may not instantly
Unravel all the strands
Of the tangled thoughts that trouble us -
He completely understands...
And in His time, if we have faith,
He will gradually restore
The brightness to our spirit
That we've been longing for...
So remember, there's no cloud too dark
For God's light to penetrate
If we keep on believing
And have faith enough to wait!

Carol emoticon emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANDY_54 11/12/2012 8:33PM

    I just read this...I don't have any words to say, I'm dumbfounded except for feeling very happy! Such wonderful news! Best wishes and blessings! emoticon

Comment edited on: 11/12/2012 8:34:19 PM

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PLANTAGO 11/12/2012 4:54PM

    Thank you for sharing these wonderful news!
God Bless!

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MAKINANIMPACT 11/11/2012 10:48PM

    This was great news to hear. I'm glad to see that there are still miracles around and that you were able to prosper from one. Bless you and your DH!

Wishing you the best!


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GABIBEAR 11/11/2012 10:23PM

    That is so wonderful Carol! I am so happy for you! I like the work of Helen Steiner Rice that you posted. It reminds me of the piece I posted in my blog on Something For God To Do Box. If we just believe and give it up to the Lord, really give it up to the Lord, then He could move mountains for us! emoticon emoticon

I also believe that when we put out good, good comes back to us, and I know by your posts, you put out a lot of good!!!

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TINYBUBBA1 11/10/2012 12:45PM

    Thank God!! Carol, I'm so happy for you and your DH! God is awesome. I'm very grateful and, yes, I believe this is a miracle.

I was thinking of you and remembering you in prayer early this morning with every intention of contacting you today to see how you were doing. Then, here comes an email notification of your blog with the wonderful news!

I know that you know God SO loves you and your DH beyond belief.

And I love you too - and wish you every blessing!
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