Sunday, February 21, 2010
I do this a lot, it seems. I'll be on a roll. I'll be working out daily, watching what I eat and keeping track of my calorie intake, and then at some point, I just stop all together. I might run in place a few minutes off and on throughout the course of the day, lay on the floor and do some random crunches, but it doesn't make up for completely falling off the way that I have.
I don't remember the last time that I really worked out.
I don't remember the last time that I actually kept track of what I was eating.
All I know is that I was toning up, and now my stomach is starting to get soft again and my husband gets the great joy of pointing it out.
Now I'm back in front of the mirror in the bathroom sitting on the sink poking at every one of my flaws. Wondering where my self control went. Wondering why I always let myself go like I do.
Granted, I haven't really gained much, but it's the point that I always stop when I'm ahead. The fact tha tmy husband feels the need to keep telling me that I need to start working out again. I'm getting a belly, this and that. (he's great for positive reenforcement, isn't he?)
I'm a natural yo-yoer though. I do this with virtually everything in my life, not just my diet and exercise routine.
Oh well, back on track again? I wonder for how long this time.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Yeah. I haven't been doing my exercises or watching too well what I eat for over a month now. I had been out of state helping my family out. My pap was in the hospital. Was supposed to just be a routine thing, go in, fix his pacemaker, then he goes home. But then he went into cardiac arrest and his kidneys were failing. They put him in a coma because he was full of tubes and he kept trying to rip them out. Then he ended up pretty much going crazy. He was seeing things and insisting that he was going home everyday whenever they finally let him come to. Anyway, my mom had to drive my gramma to and from the hospital everyday to see him. She has custody of all of my sisters kids (ages 2, 5, &6) So I came up to watch them because my sister wasn't doing a very good job and didn't want to be there anyway. (of course, why would she?) Anyway, while up there, I didn't do much of anything. He got out of the hospital, then my mom went in to get her gallbladder taken out. Stayed up a bit to help her with lifting and taking care of the kids and getting the house cleaned up some. Right now everybody is doing good, but do to lack of time, I hadn't exercised or watched what I ate. Now that everybody is back to normal, and I'm trying to get back on track, I'm going to start today. I've lost some muscle mass (insert tear here) so I need to work to bring it back and to retone myself. It's amazing what a couple months can do.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
I had to get a tooth pulled today because the past couple days it would ping with massive pain. I mean a pain so bad that I thought I was going to throw up and my body got shaky. So, I'm at the dentist. (I'm extremely apprehensive about the dentist, BTW) and they do the xray, and they couldn't read it because my tooth was so far back. Apparently, my wisdom teeth have come in (which I was completely unaware of) and it was my wisdom tooth that was causing me issues. So, now I have to pay 64 dollars more than I thought I did because they have to do the full xray of all of my teeth so they can see how the roots are. (one of the horrible things about that is I have to take out every piece of jewelry in my head. Not cool) Three of my teeth came in just dandy, but one of them is coming in completely sideways. (No wonder now and then I get massive pain that makes me sick to my stomach, cause it's pushing on the rest of my teeth) But, any who, they get me all numbed up. (which is many needles) I made sure not to see the needle they were using (otherwise I'm sure I would've wet myself) So, then they get to work....and to work....and to work....and my knees are up and my hands are clasped between them and I'm holding my hands so tight that I realize that it's really starting to hurt, so I have to try to unclench them. The guy doing the work keeps telling me that I'm doing really well, and the girl who's suctioning me keeps rubbing my shoulder and asking if I'm alright. I'm shaking like I'm in an earthquake, and quite noticeably in fear. So, it's about an hour in, and they are talking about how they are going to get some other guy in to look at it, because it's wiggly, but the roots are so strong and they are having trouble grasping it. So, the guy walks by, they call him in, and he sits down, two minutes later he has it out. So much popping that I about scream in terror every time there's a noise. (Yes, I'm a pansy. I will admit it) So, there's me, all guazed up, corner of my lip swollen and sore (cause they instruments kept pulling on it cause the damn tooth was so far back) shaking like an addict going through withdrawal. So, now I'm on a liquid/soft food diet (which, BTW, sucks) I've only consumed about 650 calories today (much lower than I'm supposed to) and for 48 hours I can't exercise (prevent the blood flowing hard and the clot coming out, I guess.) I don't know what to do with myself from this whole 'not exercise' thing. I'm so used to doing it everyday multiple times a day. Well, just felt like I'd share that with anybody who is willing to read. And I still have one on the other side that needs pulled (which terrifies me more now that I know what will happen) and I have one that needs cut out. I so need to be put under. Oi.
Monday, June 22, 2009
I'm sure eventually I will learn that it won't kill me to take a break from working out. However, I've gotten so used to doing it everyday, that I feel guilty every moment that I'm sitting still. I keep feeling like there's always something that I could/should be doing. My ankle has been sore and a little swollen the past few days. I haven't a clue what I did to it, just started to hurt. I keep doing my exercises though anyway, regardless of the pain. I should probably lay off it for a bit, but I can't help it. Oh well. Someday I'll learn.
Friday, June 19, 2009
My husband's friend came over the other day, and he brought his dad with him. He hadn't seen me in about a year and a half now. Last time he saw me, I was around 160 lbs. He saw me the other day, and before seeing my face, he asked his son if my husband was with somebody else. Then he saw my face and realized I was the same person. He said that since I'm half the size I was, that he didn't realize it was me. That's a hell of a compliment whenever you lose enough weight to look like you're somebody else from behind. I feel so awesome.
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