Wednesday, November 03, 2010
How do you go about the monumental task of unpacking alone?! I see the mountains of boxes & I quiver in fear! My husband is out of town for three days on yet another job interview, and i am here by myself! My only company is my cat, who isn't the greatest @ companionship!
Oh if ONLY I had a friend or two who could come and help me! I had to pack most of it by myself, and now it looks like I have to unpack it all!
Anyone has some tricks, tips, or advice?
Even some words of encouragement might help!
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
I have missed several days, but I am still trying to reach my goal!
Only THREE days left until we sign papers saying we do not owe a mortgage anymore! (We had to short same our house, but it is ok, we were not here long enough to become attached!) We have already started moving stuff over to our new apartment! Never thought I'd be happy to be back in an apartment, but you have NO idea of the relief to know that I do not have to take care of the lawn, any maintenance, worry about a major appliance breaking down...and most of all....NO MORTGAGE!!!
As far as weight loss goes, I have now lost about 7-8 pounds! I am thrilled! This past weekend, I did not watch what I ate, but I tried to watch how much of it I ate...and I still lost a pound!
Yesterday I packed up my car with boxes and drove to the new apartment, where I climbed the stairs, (2 sets, 20 each) a minimum of 15 times! The majority of that weighted down with belongings! Talk about exercise! My legs are telling me all about it today!
I thought for sure, since I ate very lightly yesterday that I would have lost some weight, but the scale still says 233. And I am ok with that! I am so looking forward to being there all the time, mortgage free and climbing 2 flights of stairs when I want to check the mail!
And since I have already lost a few pounds, I can just tell myself I will keep on trying! No giving up this time!
So now, I have gotta go pack! Still have nearly the whole house left to pack and only 2 days to pack it in! Ha Ha!
Friday, October 15, 2010
How am I supposed to actually be able to eat right and exercise when I have to yard sale, pack and clean?! Not to mention the decision on short term (more $$ now) vs. long term (possibly more $$ later) as far as our next lodging goes?!
I have only JUST started to stay regular with Sparkpeople, looking for encouragement, but here, at home, eating right seems next to impossible.
I KNOW when I eat too much or eat the wrong thing. I KNOW I am going to feel horrible about it afterward yet I can't seem to stop myself. I don't even want to know my calorie intake the past few days! I feel AWFUL about myself right now!
Now add to that stepping on a tack and knees that seem determined to ache lately and I can't get in the exercise I know I need.
HOW do you STOP emotional eating?! I HONESTLY do not know and it is killing me! I have NEVER felt as unhealthy as I do right now in my life! I am 27; life should be getting BETTER not worse!
I can hope all I want that when we move in 2 weeks things will change. There is that possiblilty, what with WAY less stress (hopefully) and more exercise opportunity. But what about NOW?! What about the past six years of marriage where every year I gained weight and moved less? What makes now any different from all the times before when I said I was going to lose weight?
At this moment in time, I feel really down and not much like I am capable of breaking this habit, dare I say addiction?
Going on about 30 hours with NO sleep now. Guess I will try to remedy that now. Good night now.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
FINALLY! I can actually breathe now! The past year has been SO filled with hardship, fear, frustration, stress...you name it, I've experienced it!
Last July, after my husband worked 3 years steady at a wonderful job we decided that it was time to buy a house! Settle down, meet neighbors, grow roots. For one thing, we had not yet stayed in any one place for more than a year! At least NINE moves in six years of marriage! (At least we can't say it has been boring!)
We bought the house in July, and in September, BARELY 2 months after moving in, he lost his job! What made it INCREDIBLY difficult for me to accept is it turned out that at teh time we were talking about buying a house, apparently everyone my husband worked for KNEW he was about to lose his job! They KNEW he was buying a house and that he was about to lose his job!!! Couldn't just ONE person have said something?! I know, it is 'poor business practice' but it sure would have helped to have had a little foresight.
Anyway, I am getting off track! We completely WIPED out our savings AND 401K keeping up with bills. We have had awful ups & downs, both of us finding jobs, losing jobs, etc. Finally, this May, we talked to a realtor about the possibility of a short sale.
Tell you what, I will save the details and say that despite the horror stories I had heard about short sales working against the seller, ours has been a dream! (Going to plug for Region's Bank here, they are our mortgage lender & they have been SUPER helpful all the way!)
Each time some little step would be approved in the process, I would want so badly to hope, but there has always been a nagging fear in the back of my mind that there were still things that could go wrong! (PESSIMIST!)
FINALLY! FINALLY we KNOW that we are closing Oct 29! We are looking at moving from a 3BR 2 B home into an apartment HALF the size, but you know what, that is ok! We can START OVER! (Plus it is HALF the $$ TOO!!)
I am SO excited! When I say that stress has packed on the lbs and kept them there, I am NOT exaggerating! My husband gained 20, I gained 30!!!! And despite pretty good exercising and ALMOST as good eating, I CANNOT get it to go away! I am SO hopeful that such a HUGE weight off our shoulders will allow us to finally relax and lose the weight we want to!
The apartment will be on the 2nd or 3rd floor (YAY STAIRS!!!) and has a pool AND a fitness room that I plan to REALLY take advantage of!
WISH US LUCK! Pray for us as we get ready to start out on what is hopefully a new and great adventure! (At least let it be better than our last 'adventure' aka buying the house! LOL!!
Rock on ya'll!
Saturday, October 09, 2010
So...something I have been SO worried about! And it turned out I have no reason!
I have mentioned that growing up I was not taught to take care of myself. I was actually insulted repeatedly and taught the opposite. I remember going through a phase where every morning I'd have 2 slices of bread with butter and jelly for breakfast. My 'mom' looked at me and said "You're going to get diabetes if you keep eating like that."
I look back now and realize at that time I was barely even overweight! In fact, I might not have been overweight at all! But that stuck with me! Through the years as I would gain weight, a nigling thought in the back of my head would be "You are going to get diabetes. Then you will always be sticking yourself with needles and you will gain more weight than ever."
Recently I tried to have a physical (we have just now gotten health insurance back after a job loss last year) Turns out this insurance only allows a set amount for physicals and would not cover all the labs and the visit. So I canceled it and continued to worry. I know I am overweight, I know that I am so-so healthy, but I could not shake the nagging fear.
What if...you have diabetes? And you did it to yourself?
So I found out Sam's Club had a free health screening today. I fasted (no food after midnight!) and my husband and I were there at about 12 today. My BP was a tiny bit high (111/78) when they checked it because I was so nervous. My resting HR was 86.
Then we got into a second line to wait for the finger prick. I actually felt my BP & HR increasing as I got closer to the station.
"You want to go first?" My husband asked.
"Might as well get it over with." I muttered, my heart pounding. I sat down and then had to wait as the lady left the station and soon returned.
The waiting is SO awful!
She pricked my finger (that part wasn't as bad as I thought!) Then I waited for the results.
Blood Glucose: 99
Talk about relief washing over me when she wrote those numbers down on the paper! Both levels are within normal range! They are at the high end of the levels, and my body fat % is awful, (36.4) but I haven't felt so happy since I found out they were going to grant the short sale on our house! (WHOLE 'nother story!)
I am SO happy that my levels are ok! It makes me want to try even harder to do a better job taking care of myself!
So thanks to a childhood of emotional abuse, I spent months worrying over something that I didn't need to! Now that it is over with though, I am SO relieved and thankful!
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