Friday, January 22, 2010
The biggest challenge in my life so far is facing me today. I don't know if I can do it?
Right behind that door. The challenge is facing me. I am getting weaker. I can't resist. There is force calling me even though I know I shouldn't walk through that door. If I walk in and look I will be too weak to do the right thing.
The right thing is to stay right here and let the sleeping baby sleep. But oh, that baby is the sweetest little thing. She is just so happy. Her laugh can just melt your heart.
I am babysitting my sweet little Penny Rose. She has been sleeping for such a long time and my arms are missing cuddling her as she drinks her bottle. My eyes are missing that wonderful baby staring back into my eyes. My mouth is missing her little fingers explore my lips when I whisper loving words to her. My nose is missing that new baby smell. My ears are missing her cooing.
Oh, the pressure is too much. I am going to go check on her. Maybe when I check on her, I may just bump into the crib. Oh, but what if she cries. I guess I will have to just pick her up and let her cuddle into me for security.
Yes, I am going now to check on the baby.
No. No. I can do this. I can wait. She will be getting up soon on her own.
Yes, that horrible feeling is starting to past.
Yes, I can do this.
For now, I am strong.
I will conquer my biggest challenge.
I will wait for the sleeping baby to get up on her own.