It's been a difficult week for me. I haven't lost any weight this week but I have been put on a new medication and that could be the reason. I haven't gone off my diet and have been really good about using the treadmill so I believe it will show up eventually. I still feel focused and determined (half the battle, no?)
I had some horrible news yesterday. A good friend of mine that lives clear across the country in San Francisco, husband had a heart attack yesterday. He didn't make it. He was 57 years old. I am truly stunned. I called her when I was out there in March but we just couldn't get together because of our schedules. She sounded so happy.
Her husband's major problem was that he was overweight. When I first met him many years ago he had a little weight problem. She laughed that they were so opposite because she runs marathons and does iron woman competitions. He struggled with his weight always.
My heart goes out to my friend Carol (we went to high school together) and this is a real wake up to maintain the work I am doing now.
There are things I know that are triggers for me. Got some not so good news today and believe it or not, I lost my appetite. I know it will return and the first thing I will look for is something sweet.
I cannot keep ice cream in my house, ever. If it's there, I will eat it. I had this idea today. I got some fresh berries, strawberries, raspberries and blackberries. I sweetened them with some splenda and then mixed them with some cool whip free. Then....I froze the whole thing!
It's like I can have a big bowl of ice cream that is not only good for me, but has less than 100 calories (way less) in the whole thing!! Woohoo YUM!!
I guess we are never done. The journey is long and winding and never ending. I am pleased that I have lost almost all the weight I gained from the time of Passover through the shiva when my dad passed away. Almost, just a couple of lbs to go. Now of course, I need to lose the rest of the weight I gained over the past couple of years. It's going, it's going... I have been very steady and focused.
I have been once again battling the demon depression. I know I need to get a handle on it and I really am trying. Life has been so difficult of late with my entire air conditioning unit having to be replaced, a pipe breaking in the garage bringing the ceiling down with it etc.....Not an easy time.
On the bright side, I went for my yearly mammogram with the sonogram follow-up on the side I had the lumpectomy, and all was clear. I will go again next year. Whew! While I am one of the lucky ones whose lumpectomy was benign, I know I was that way because I caught it early. Make sure you all get your check ups!!
I has been a very difficult couple of months. Between my dad going into hospice care, Passover with the family, my dad's passing and the shiva, I gained nearly 10 lbs. This is on top of the weight I had already gained back.
I knew that I was eating badly but I just couldn't help myself. I didn't care. The stress was enormous and I had shut down.
A couple of weeks ago, it clicked. I had had enough of feeling awful and started to do something about it. I started walking again, eating right, tracking and best of all losing.
Today I realized it's two weeks since I started. I already feel better. I know I dropped a few pounds and know that I will continue on the right track. I had forgotten that this makes me feel better.
I know you all know what that moment is like when it "clicks" and you are ready. I'm angry at myself for gaining so much of my weight back but not so angry that I can't do something about it.
I so appreciate the encouragement I get from this wonderful place. Thanks everyone for your support. It's been fantastic.
I can't believe that I am writing this but I am sorry to say we lost my dad this past weekend. He has been sick for so long and his health failing we knew this was going to happen.
What I have learned is that no matter how prepared you think you are for this, you just aren't prepared. I find myself just starting to cry because I was thinking of some wonderful times with my dad, or just because I miss him already.
My dad was the greatest dad ever. We were very, very close. In my family there were only lots of boys (I have lots of male cousins and an older brother) but I was not only the youngest but the only girl. A true princess and my dad adored me.
He was a remarkable man. My dad finished the house I grew up in. He did all the electrical work, paneled the den and painted my room every time I thought it should be a different color. You may not think this very remarkable but my dad was a WWII veteran. He proudly served his country and lost his right arm in the service. He told me there was nothing he couldn't do and that with only one arm. This meant there was nothing I couldn't do no matter what.
This Wednesday is the funeral. I say good-by for the final time. It is going to be so hard because selfishly I want him with me always but I know that he is at peace now, pain free and with my mom. I also know that I will miss him every day of my life.
I am so grateful I have a lifetime of memories to keep him with me always.